I awoke the next day to sun streaming through the bedroom window, birds singing, all was well with the world. As I rolled over I became aware of some aches and pains checking in from different locations around my body. My mind drifted back to the events of the previous night as my hands traced down my body looking for the source of my sore spots. What my hands discovered only reinforced the fact that I had not dreamed up the wild fuck session of the night before.
I threw off the covers and looked down at my body, my entire groin area was covered with dried semen. As I opened my legs this dried mess included streaks with a definite pinkish ting. It brought a smile to my face knowing that those pink streaks were all that was left of my virginity. I gently rubbed my hand over my belly remembering that there was a child even now growing within me. I began thinking of what my next action should be in regards to my pregnancy. I had never though about the abortion option before, why would I?, I had never had any reason to, until now. The thought of destroying something that I had willingly produced just seemed so wrong to me. I put these thoughts aside and slid from bed and headed for the bathroom. I recoiled at my image in the mirror, my hair was shooting out in all different directions, the eye shadow that Sandra had applied so beautifully was smeared and streaked down the side of my face, I truly did have that ‘well fucked slut look’ as Ray had called it. I turned and sat on the commode to do the morning do and became aware of a slight stinging sensation as I peed. I found that doing my number 2 was equally sensitive, but not terribly so. As I stood and turned to flush I noticed some white stringy substance in the toilet and it took me about half a second to recognize it as semen, probably DJ’s final contribution before he had gone home.
I stepped into the shower and leaned against the wall, loving the feeling of the hot water flowing down over my body. I don’t know how long I stayed like that before I finally grabbed the body wash and began cleansing the sweat and semen from my body. My pussy and ass were only mildly sensitive to the touch, which surprised me; I would have expected to be very sore after the long hard night of fucking that I had just endured. After showering and shaving my legs a wicked thought struck me. I decided to shave the blonde curls from my pussy as a surprise for Ray. I soon found that I had to sit down in the stall to reach the last bit of my fur. When I was finished I was really surprised at how sexy it made me feel when I ran my fingers over my smooth mound.
As I came out of the shower and dried off I realized that I felt wonderful in every way. I had never felt this good as far back as I could remember, it was as if I had been transformed into a whole new person. I looked at myself in the mirror and was pleased at what I saw; I was a pretty girl, not drop dead good looking but better than average by a good margin. I wondered why I had never noticed this before. My breasts were nice and firm although I wish they had been slightly larger than 34b. I turned and looked at my flat belly and defined hips, I liked what I saw until I noticed this red smear covering much of my right butt cheek. Then I remembered the hard smack DJ had given me. It had left a pronounced pink handprint covering almost my entire cheek.
I sat on the bed and pulled my diary from my suitcase and began recording every small detail of the evening’s events. I scribbled down my thoughts and feelings about being de-flowered by not one man but two black men, I discovered other glaring facts to reinforce Ray’s title of slut, The first was that I only knew either man by there first name, and another was that reliving these events in my writing was arousing me slightly. I sat back and reflected on my life for a moment, remembering something that I had read somewhere about how every decision a person makes alters their life’s path from that moment on. I did a quick mental scan of my life to this point and decided to see where this path took me because I hated every thing about my life to this point. That decision made I completed my daily entry, closed my spiral notebook and put it away till tomorrow.
I hurriedly dressed and went downstairs to feed my famished body and found Sandra and Eric sitting at the kitchen counter making breakfast. Sandra immediately began apologizing for ‘forgetting ‘ to pick me up. She droned on with this really lame ass excuse (even worse than the ones I had made up in my mind the night before) and when she had finished I told her that it was ok, that everything worked out great because I had met this really nice guy who had brought me home. I could see the relief in her eyes as she offered me breakfast, which I accepted immediately. We sat and chatted about all kinds of shit while we shoveled down Sandra’s huge breakfast. Eric had mentioned that he and Sandra had planned a camping trip while her parents were gone, but they didn’t feel right leaving me alone and didn’t have enough stuff to outfit me. I interrupted Eric and told him that I really didn't like to camp but that they should go ahead and go, because the guy I had met at the party wanted to go do something with me today anyway. Sandra and Eric tried to keep the debate going but I could tell that they wanted to be alone. They finally decided to go camping, told me where they were going and that they would be back late Monday night sometime. As they were laying this whole plan out all I could think of was COOL, three days and two nights to do what I want.
As they were heading for the door Sandra told me to help myself to her closet as much as I wanted too, which was something I had planned on anyway. Then I was alone in the kitchen listening to Eric's car pull out of the driveway.
I swooped up the stairs and dove into Sandra's things finally settling on a nice tight 'T' shirt and a set of blue jean short-shorts. I thought about trying my hand with her makeup but then remembered how it had looked this morning and decided to just go as me instead. Finally ready to face the world and Ray I went back to my room sat down on the bed and picked up the slip of paper with his number. Before I picked up the phone though I drifted off into thought again. I began thinking about being pregnant, how it was going to affect my last year of school, would they even let me graduate. When the plan just dropped into my brain. Because I had almost always been on the honor roll I had been offered the accelerated program several times, but mom had always said no. All I had to do was forge her signature on the application that the school had sent home with me and bingo, bango; I'd graduate in December sometime, well before my due date.
Finally clearing my head of this and dismissing the thought of telling Ray about what was happening within me, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. He picked up on the first ring, which made me feel good as I could just picture him just hovering over it, waiting for me to call. He said that he would be right over to pick me up and that I should bring a swimming suit as we were headed for a little lake he knew of. As soon as I hung up, it was back to Sandra's dresser to find a suit for me. She must be part fish I thought as I burrowed around in about ten suits. But I found this little black bikini that I could just not wait to get into. I stripped and pulled the suit on, it looked incredible against my very white skin and showed everything that wasn't outright illegal to show.
Buy the time I had slipped back into my shorts and T-shirt, I heard a car pull up out front. Sprinting for the door, I met Ray at the front porch. His easy smile was enough to ignite a warm flame within me, but when he told me how hot I looked it was very hard not to tell him that we were alone with this big house full of beds. But I didn't say a thing, and I don't know why. We jumped in the car and headed off into the country to where, I did not know or care as long as I sat beside him. I slid right on over to his side and he took full advantage of this by gently running his fingers up and down my legs while we chatted about our destination. Ray told me that we were headed for a small lake where he has only seen some of the local college kids. As we drove along, talking, him rubbing my legs and thighs, I so wanted to just reach down and squeeze his manhood, but I just sat there squirming under his constant fiddling. He must have read my mind because he finally looked over at me and told me that if I wanted to play with his cock, I could.
My left hand slid over the lump within his shorts within seconds; damn it gave me shivers just feeling his heat through the thin nylon material. That small warm feeling began heating up inside my belly as I slid my hand up the leg of his shorts and felt the warm baby smooth skin of the cock that had made me a woman. It was so soft, smooth and spongy when I first wrapped my hand around it and began gently stroking him, but within just minutes his cock was rising to attention and Ray told me to pull him out of the top of his shorts. I pulled his waistband out and released Rays bobbing cock into the bright daylight and was just in awe of its beauty. I began gently running my hand down his shaft and continuing around his huge hair covered balls then slowly back up his shaft to that wonderful cock head. I would take just one finger and trace it over his slit and around the rim of the head, spreading his flow of precum evenly over his entire head. This must have been doing the same things to him, that his fiddling was doing to me as he soon exclaimed 'Oh Fuck this shit girl" and pulled off the highway onto a small dirt road and stopped just inside the trees.
He slammed the gearshift into park, slid the seat back, and hit the recline switch. The seat folded almost flat against the rear cushion making a huge bed inside the car. As soon as the seat was back he slid me over then rolled me up onto his chest and kissed me with such force and passion that I thought I might pee. His hands were pulling up my T shirt and I helped by first lifting my arms to free myself of it then popping the catch on my suit top, giving him full access to my breasts. He cupped one breast with his hand and pulled the other to his mouth and began nibbling and sucking it like crazy. I wanted him to touch me between my legs so bad that I hiked my ass up and squirmed out of my shorts and suit bottom all in one move, before setting on his lap and grabbing hold of his powerful throbbing cock again. I could feel the heat building within me as Ray switched back and forth between my breasts, I wanted him inside me so bad that I finally grabbed his shorts and tugged on them several times before Ray lifted his ass enough for me to push them down toward his ankles.
Ray was calling me a sexy little slut and asking me if needed his black cock. I arched my back, pulling my titty away from his mouth, looked him straight on and told him that I needed him to fuck me real good. He started laughing as he gripped my hips and impaled me onto his nine inches of heaven. He was laughing and fucking me, telling me that my idea of foreplay was waking up in the morning. I had never been on the top before so Ray pulled my legs tight up against his sides with my knees almost in his armpits as he gripped my ass cheeks and worked his wonderfully big cock deeper and deeper into me. He was moaning about how tight my white hole was and I was just moaning with pleasure, letting myself drift away into that special place. I lay my head on his shoulder and gave him gentle kisses on his neck and ears as he drove me up and down on his rigid tool, fucking me a little faster all the time. The fire inside me was now out of control and I felt my orgasm rushing up my spine, as I pleaded with Ray to fuck me harder. My vision dimmed as the wall of pleasure hammered me, making me thrash around on Ray's cock, leaving me gasping for breath against Ray's strong hairy chest. He was fucking me like crazy, yanking me forward only to slam my pussy back down his cock so hard that we were making a loud smacking sound every time we came together. Ray was twisting his hips back an forth as he pounded my pussy against his balls and the feeling of his cock stretching me in all different directions was quickly bringing me to a boil again. It was now hot as hell in the car and I was sweating like crazy, my hair was hanging in wet clumps and sweat drops were flying from my breasts as they bounced back and forth with Ray's hard fucking. Ray began to moan that he was going to bust a nut inside my nasty little ass and I lay my head on his shoulder and told him that I wanted his cum deep inside me. The next thing that I felt was another climax slam me in the back of the brain and I held myself against Ray as he gripped my ass and pushed my pussy down tight against his balls as he emptied himself into me. As we lay there, I swear that I could feel his semen gushing into my womb, flooding me from end to end. Ray was kneading my cheeks like little loaves of bread and whispering into my ear how much he loved fucking me, how he loved to fuck white pussy with out a rubber, how my pussy clamped down so hard when I came that it was like a milking machine for cock. The way he spoke these words gave me such a warm wonderful, wanted, needed, feeling.
Finally, Ray pulled me up his chest until his gooey cock slipped from me and plopped onto his sweaty belly. We kissed then he asked if his little white slut wanted to lick his nasty black cock clean. I still remember it, I didn’t say anything, I just slid down knelt on the floorboard and began licking up the globs of his thick sperm that had dripped from me and was coating his cock and balls. While I was enjoying myself between his thighs, he began combing my stringy, sweaty hair, back from my face with his fingers. He said that he liked to be able to see the face of the women who sucked his Johnson. But once I had cleaned every speck of our cum from his cock, balls, and belly, he opened the door and said we needed to get dressed and go. I continued to grip his cock in my hand ready to engulf it with my lips, but he just looked at me and said that I was only gonna get to do clean up duty today as he wanted to pump everything that he had left into my nasty little white ass.
As he was slipping his boxers back on he looked down at his cock, told me that I had done a fine job and asked me how I liked the taste of his cum. Up to this point I hadn’t really given it much thought but I now realized that I really enjoyed it, and I told him so. There was something magical about that part of a man. The smell of his groin area, mixed with the pungent odor of his semen mixed into my juices,it just smelled right to me. It was like that whole smell was catnip to me, or musk, it aroused me in a way that no other smell ever has. He reached out and slid his hand gently down my cheek and told me that I was indeed the hottest little slut that he had ever known and that he was going to make it his mission to keep me well fucked and happy.
It wasn’t till I lifted my leg to slip my swimming suit back on that he noticed my freshly shaven pussy. He instantly reached over and ran his hand down my mound coating my whole pussy with his cum which had begun to seep out. Ray instantly beamed that he had fucked me so good that he knocked the fuzz of me. I looked at him and told him that I had done it just for him and asked if he liked me that way. He pulled me to his chest, kissed me on the forehead and said that he loved it bald and nasty. We finished dressing and drove the last couple miles to the lake and parked.
Ray led the way around the lake to the edge of a small beach where about ten or fifteen people were grouped at one end on blankets and towels. We walked past this group and continued on to the far end of the beach where Ray threw his beach kit down under some trees in the shade. I had noticed the silent stairs from most of the people we had walked by and how it had become so quiet as we approached. I didn’t need to ask Ray what that was about, I knew it was because a black man had walked hand in hand with a white girl past them and I wondered if this was how it was always going to be from now on.
We spread out our blanket and headed for the water. It was a fabulous day, about 80 degrees, cold water, and a man who couldn’t seem to keep his hands off me. We splashed and played for what seemed like hours, with brief minutes where Ray would pull me to him, lift me up so I could wrap my legs around him, and we would kiss, all under the angry stares of our beach neighbors who stayed on their end of the beach. During these kissing sessions Ray would slip a finger or two under my suit and finger my pussy making me squeal and squirm. We finally went back to our blanket to eat the sandwiches that Ray had bought. We chatted as we ate and I was able to glean his last name and many other details about his life. He even brought up the glairs that we had received during our arrival and told me that he would have still gotten some even if he had shown up alone. He looked me right in the eye and told me that because he had grown up black he was used to just shrugging shit like that off but as long as I hung with the brotha’s I would have to learn to deal with that same shit. That I was as much a nigger in those peoples eyes now as he was. Then he said that since he knew some of those guys from campus, I would soon be labeled a nigga fuckin bitch and should prepare myself for that. This was the second or third time that Ray had talked to me like I was going to the college here, I decided to let him continue this belief because I was afraid of his reaction should he find out that I was in fact only sixteen.
After lunch I lay down on the blanket facing the lake and Ray snuggled up to my back. He pushed my legs forward until I looked like I was in a sitting position. He began by nibbling on my left ear and neck but I soon felt his hand under my suit squeezing my ass again. He murmured into my ear that I was just so sexy that he couldn’t resist feeling me up. I rolled my head back and told him that I loved it when he touched me, because I felt the same way about him. As he nibbled, kissed, and fiddled he said that he hadn’t planned on his friend DJ fucking me the other night. That he had tried to wave him out but he wouldn’t leave. He said that DJ and him had been friends since they were kids in Portland and had shared a lot of pussy in their lives, so DJ just figured that it was ok to sample my sweet pussy. He asked me if I was mad about the whole thing and I truthfully told him that it was a real shock at first but I had enjoyed everything except the slapping shit.
Ray whispered that he would try to make my sweet little ass feel better as he pushed my suit down over my butt giving him full access. His fingers slipped between my legs and into my pussy again making me moan as he rotated them. He was telling me that I had such a hot little box and that he loved the way it felt when it was slick with his cum. He was working his fingers in and out of me, coating the inside of my legs with our slick juices from our earlier mating in the car. It was driving me crazy and I asked if he wanted to go to the car for some fun but he chuckled into my ear and said no, he was gonna do me right there. It made me a bit nervous thinking about fucking in plain view of the other group of swimmers, but at the same time, it excited the shit out of me. I felt Ray move behind me and realized that he had slipped his trunks down and was serious about this, very serious as I felt his cock snake its way between my legs and finally enter my pussy.
He pulled his chest away from my back changing his angle and slid his cock deep into my willing pussy. I loved the feeling of being fucked, I realized that every time I fucked I had this overwhelming sense of well being, it was like I was meant for this, my whole body, designed and built to rotate around this act. Ray put his hand on my hip and began long slow strokes in and out of my womb, giving me a little squeeze on the ass with every one. The feeling of his hairy balls and groin rubbing against my ass cheeks coupled with his moans and whispers of lust for me soon had me rocking from side to side and begging him to make me cum. He chuckled as he began forcing himself into me a little harder and faster, asking me if that’s the way I liked my nasty little slut ass fucked. I half moaned, half whimpered that I loved the way he fucked me. He continued to fuck me building up his tempo and I could hear his breath getting more labored as was mine. That now familiar feeling was twisting my belly into a knot and I knew my orgasm was very close as I again asked Ray to fuck me hard and fill me with his cum. That must have been the thing that Ray needed as within just a few more wonderfully hard fast strokes, he began bucking into me and moaning that his seed was womb bound. The feeling of his hot cum pulsing into me, then flowing out and onto my leg put me over the edge. I shuddered against him as he held me tight against his cock, letting everything that he had ejaculated dribble into my overflowing pussy.
We lay there for a long time, his cock still buried within me, his hand caressing my ass and back, not speaking, just enjoying the afterglow of our hot coupling. When Ray finally spoke, it was more of a statement of fact than something he needed a reply too. He told me to slip my bottom back on because he was going to walk me out into the woods and fuck me hard and nasty. Then he said that us going into the woods with our ‘friends’ watching would only confirm to them that I was a little nigga fucker. I pulled my suit bottom up over the slick mess we had made between my legs and stood up, waiting for him to lead me away. He lifted my chin until we were looking directly into each others eyes and asked me on of the most important questions of my life, ‘are you a little nigger fucking white slut Nikki?’ I couldn’t help but smile as I told him that I was most defiantly a black man’s slut. He slid his hand into mine and led me away from the lake and into the woods down this narrow path.
I expected to go into the woods much further than we did, we had gone only two to three hundred feet down the path when Ray stopped in a small seven or eight foot patch of grass. He turned and looked at me with those hot piercing eyes and told me to strip and get on my knees. As I unsnapped the clasp of my top, Ray kicked off his trunks again and I was surprised to find him hard as hell. The mere site of that beautiful cock, still covered in areas with our fuck juice, made me quiver. I shucked out of my suit bottom dropped to my knees and presented my self to him. He wasted no time dropping down between my legs, grabbing my pussy and rubbing our cum all over my ass. Then he plunged his wonderful cock back into me with such force that my knees slipped several inches forward on the soft grass. He fucked me with hard powerful strokes, gripping my hips in his strong hands and pulling me back hard onto his cock with every stroke. I was almost instantly drifting into that zone where the only thing that matters is the lust. My belly exploded sending electric shockwaves through my brain and muscles of my womb. Ray was behind me, slamming into me, and proudly declaring that I was absolutely the hottest nastiest slut that he ever had the pleasure of fucking. As I recovered my bearing and pushed my self back up onto my hands, ray was there, with his hand in the middle of my back telling me to lie back down. As I let my head drop back down until my face rested on my hand Ray slid from my pussy and placed his cock at the entrance to my rear. He gripped my hip in one hand as he leaned into me forcing his cock into my ass. It was much like the first time he had done me, the pressure built up almost to the point of pain before the head of his cock popped into me.
Once inside me he wasted no time forcing his cock deep within me, moaning in wonder at the tightness of my ass. As he fucked me deeper and harder with every successive stroke, he told me that only the nastiest of slut’s like me enjoyed taking it up the ass. He remarked that he had fucked a lot of gal’s in the ass but that most just did it because he had wanted too. But he said that I was different, that I was the one in a hundred that loved to butt fuck.
I didn’t know how to react to his remarks, I wasn’t sure if they were meant as some kind of compliment or if he had said them to hurt me. But I knew one thing to be true, I did enjoy the feel of his cock fucking me in the ass. I could feel the churning within my belly and knew that he was going to give me one of those sweet mellow climaxes soon. I turned my head around and asked him to make me cum, that I wanted to cum for him. What I was expecting was for him to fuck me nice and hard to bring me to climax, but what he did was push me off his cock and tell me to roll over. I rolled over for him without question, and he instantly grabbed my ankles lifted my ass from the ground and plunged his cock back into my butt. As he leaned forward he pushed my knees down to the ground by my armpits and rested his chest against my feet. Doing this had rotated my hips up allowing me to clearly see his cock pounding into my ass. The sensation was vastly different than what it had been straight in from the back too, it seemed to be hitting new and more sensitive spots within me and I realized that I was now panting from the sweet hard fucking that Ray was delivering to me. I looked up from watching his cock and found him smiling down at me from above. He said it like a statement of fact between his grunts, “you love this shit don’t you Nikki”. All I could muster to say as my orgasm washed over me was ‘Ohhh yess’. Again this was one of those mellow feel so good climaxes that I already had come to love about being butt fucked, it lingered then slowly faded, leaving me feeling wonderful.
Ray abruptly pulled his cock from my ass and stuffed it completely into my pussy until his balls were pressed tightly against my stretched ass, where he immediately began unloading another load of his sperm. With my hips rotated up the way they were, I could clearly see his sperm forcing its way back out of my pussy and forming little streams down my belly. As his climax subsided this silly grin crossed his lips and he slid from me and settled back on his haunches between my legs. He looked up and down my body a couple of times before his gaze settled to my semen-covered crotch. I was smiling at him and his silly grin, when a question just slipped out of my mouth before I could catch it. I had blurted, “Am I a good fuck Ray?” He broke his lock on my pussy, looked up at me and said “Yea baby gurl, you are a fine little fucking slut, none better”. Again I had no idea if that was a put down or an off hand compliment, but I decided to accept it as a compliment.
There were two trails of his sperm that had run from my pussy down my belly and one had flowed into my navel. I took my index finger and scooped up the cum and licked it off my finger, then went back for another scoop. As I was doing this I heard Ray mutter at how fucking hot it was watching me suck cum like that. I made my heart skip a beat or two to know that he approved of what I was doing. After a few more swipes and licks the cum streaks were all cleaned from me and I asked if he wanted me to clean him up like I had done earlier. He was still smiling as he looked up at me and said, “ no way baby, you have milked my meat dry, and besides that, I’m just too tired”.
He and I finally stood up and rounded up our clothes but I needed to potty before we went back, so with clothes in hand I walked over to the edge of the clearing and squatted. I was kinda watching my stream to see just how much of Ray’s semen washed from my womb (not much), when I looked up to find that Ray was standing almost directly in front of me watching. I looked up at him towering over me and told him that I had never peed in front of a man before. He chuckled and said that I would get used to that, no problem. Then he turned to his side and let his own stream of urine go, It was one of those sights that for some reason stuck to the cells of my brain all these years. This stream of bright yellow pee flowing in an unbroken stream from the head of his black cum covered cock forming a puddle of about six inches in the bright green grass of the meadow. I watched him from beginning to the end where he grasped it down near the base and wrung the urine from it several times before slipping his trunks back on. I stood and dressed while he commented that he should march me back to the lake buck-ass naked just to prove to those white boys what we had been doing back in the woods. But he let me finish dressing then we walked back to our blanket where he suggested that we take another dip before we had to go.
We ran to the lake under the watch full eyes of our neighbors and both dove in together. We swam for a bit and I took the opportunity to rinse my nether regions and swim suit off. I didn’t know if semen stained but I was pretty sure that Sandra would object to wearing a bikini, which had a large sperm stain over her pussy. Ray walked up to me and gave me a little kiss on the cheek, which gave me the opportunity to slip my hand inside his trunks and fondle his still large but very limp cock. He chuckled and said that I was just the same as he was, he couldn’t get enough of my pussy and I was in love with black cock. All I could say with a smile was “maybe”. We soon after returned to our blanket, dried off, got dressed and packed up Ray’s beach bag. As we again walked hand in hand past the group of bathers, I purposely smiled at every guy who laid one of those drop dead looks on me, Ray gave my hand a few hard squeezes but remained silent until we reached the car. Then he turned to me and very calmly explained that doing just that kind of thing around bigoted racists could have caused a large scene and as he explained further in a crowd of eight or ten guys, I could have caused him to get his ass kicked or worse. He was right, I had smiled widely at them to do just that, prompt a response, and I just hadn’t thought far enough to realize what that response could be. I put my hand on his arm and told him that he was exactly right and I felt like an ass for doing it. He smiled but shook his head and said that doing shit like that would even get my ass kicked because racists hate just to hate.
We hopped in his car and began the hour or so trip home, along the way we just talked about our lives, I told him some things about my mom and he told me all about his, how she had busted his ass when he was young, kept him out of trouble and in school. He went on and on about her, I envied him for the pride that was in his voice when he spoke about her. By the time he was done telling me about all the things she had sacrificed for him we were within blocks of my cousins house. He stopped the car at the curb instead of pulling up the drive so I knew this was it for today. I told him that I had had more fun with him today than I have had in a lot of years, and he replied that he was glad that I had enjoyed our day out, but that I had worn him out and he needed some real sleep now. As I opened the door I asked what he had planned for tomorrow. He replied that he was just going to hang at his crib and catch the game on TV. I asked if I could call him sometime mid morning and he said “sure why not”. I leaned across the seat and gave him a kiss on the cheek then got out and closed the door.
As Ray drove off I skipped up the driveway to where the hide-a-key was hidden by the kitchen door and let myself in. I remembered the stuff I had dumped in the washer the night before so I went to put it in the dryer. I started the dryer and stripped off my clothes of the day and started a new load of wash. Now naked I went upstairs invigorated at the feel of the air flowing around my body and got into the shower for another thorough scrub down.
As soon as I dried off from my shower I put on a housecoat and went downstairs with my journal. I stopped at the kitchen, grabbed a coke and made a sandwich before plopping down in a chair in the family room. I munched on the sandwich as I captured all of the events and my emotions of the day on the pages of my binder. When I had recorded everything I could remember about this day I closed my book, turned on the TV and surfed through all the mindless channels of dribble, finally realizing that I wasn’t missing a thing living in a home with no TV. So I turned everything off, put away the dry clothes and threw the wet ones from today into the dryer and went to bed. Hoping that tomorrow would be as wonderful as today had been.
I came to realize sometime later in life what things might have influenced me to fall from my miss goody two shoes status to raging slut, but of course you can never go back and change things. What happened the summer of 1996 cannot be changed, and believe it or not, I’m not sure that I should change them if I could? Those events have shaped me into the person that I am now, who has joy in her life and a rich atmosphere of love which surrounds me, my children, and my husband who supports me 100% even though he thinks me crazy as hell for telling the world about my sorted past. Life is after all about struggle and learning and striving to be better, isn’t it?
my next chapter will be entitled “The Ball Game”/ pt3.