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Introduction:

I will always remember him...
Have you ever had a sexual experience so wild that you knew you would never forget it for the rest of your life? Well I have. My name is Vanessa, a grade 11 student who’s drop dead gorgeous. Thanks to my mom’s features, I have bright blue eyes and 32c breasts. Although I’m only 5’5”, I have magnificent curves for my age. But the thing that shocks most guys is my hair. I have jet-black hair that goes just below my shoulders, compliments of my dad.

It was the middle of June and my best friend Shannon was sleeping over at my house for the weekend. She’s also amazingly sexy with green eyes and blonde hair that reaches to the middle of her back. Her breasts were smaller than mine at 36b. She was a bit taller than me though being 5’7”, and had a slim figure. My parents were gone to have some “quality time alone”. Since I’m an only child and who’s very responsible for my age in the eyes of my folks, they decided to let me stay in the house without some sort of supervision for the three days that they’d be gone for.

I had just showered and was getting ready when Shannon finally woke up.

“Why the hell are you up so early,” she said groggily, “its Saturday for fuck sakes.” Still brushing my hair I said, “ Well Seth, Mark, Darren, and Nathan called me about 15 minutes ago and said their going to the mall. I told them that I thought that would be a good idea and said that you and I wanted to come to.” I stopped brushing and turned my head to look at her, “ They should be here in about 5-10 minutes so we can all go together.” If Shannon was still tired she didn’t show it. She quickly jumped out of my bed and headed for my bathroom screaming, “You are a total bitch! Thanks for waking me up and telling me that we’re going somewhere 5 minutes before they arrive!” She slammed my door and a couple of seconds later I heard my shower go on.

I had chosen to wear a black tank top and flip flops with a white miniskirt since it was going to be hot again like it was yesterday. I heard the shower stop after several minutes and about a minute later the doorbell rung. I opened the door. “Sorry we’re a bit late,” said Seth, “Nathan was eating everything at my house that he could get his hands on.” The guys pushed past me and as usual went to my living room so they could watch the TV. I shut the door and walked over to them, “It’s alright. Shannon wasn’t up when you guys called anyway.” I sat down between Nathan and Darren on my couch and quickly observed each guys’ features.

Nathan’s a brunette with light brown eyes. He’s 5’9” and has a great build with a very sexy tan, which suited him greatly. Darren is the same height but has different features. He’s paler than Nathan was with freckles and had green eyes and red hair, and since he was born in Scotland and lived there till he was nine or so, he took on the Scottish accent. I looked over to Mark and Seth. They were both dirty blond and equally built. Mark is 6’1” with hazel eyes and a nice body. And then there was Seth who I personally thought was the sexiest of the bunch. Seth is 5’8 with bluer shade of eyes than I have. He has an even tan, which wasn’t as dark as Nathan’s but was still gorgeous. He was built like the rest but he never bragged about it like they would. I’ve had feelings about Seth since last year when we met. He’s a total ass…who was the captain of the football team. But he was sweet and sincere when people weren’t watching him.

I started to imagine what it would be like if Seth and I were alone together. I would gently caress his strong body, nibble on his earlobe, and we’d share an intimate kiss. Oh I was very turned on now. I could feel my hot cunt gripping an imaginary cock right now. I was just beginning to imagine Seth naked when Shannon stomped out of my room and down the stairs. She had her hair pulled back into a ponytail and was wearing a tight lime green t-shirt with blue Capri pants. “Ok, I’m ready. Let’s go.” She headed for the door not looking back. She was a leader and what she said goes. It was in her nature.

We walked about the mall for quite a while and we even bought some clothes and accessories. When I checked my watch it was three forty-six. “You guys I think we should go, we’re been at it for seven hours now. I’m totally drained.”

“I agree with Vanessa. I think we made a new record or something.” We were all in the food court at a table finishing our meals. I looked at Seth from the corner of my eye and saw him looking at me too. I could feel myself blush and my pussy was getting wet.

“Well I don’t wanna go home,” Darren groaned leaning back onto his seat, “ My rents are probably gonna make me clean the house and all that crap. They make me feel like I’m at boot camp or something when it comes to chores. I want to actually enjoy my weekend.”

That gave me an idea. “You guys can come back to my house. I mean…it’s going to be empty and it’s just Shannon and me.”

I looked up from my burger and looked at everyone’s reaction to my idea. The secret was that I wanted to spend some alone time with Seth.

“Sweet,” said Mark who had fries in his mouth, “now I can play your PS2!”

Shannon glanced over at Nathan with a twinkle in her eyes. I knew that she caught on to my plan. “Well I have no problem with that.” Shannon had the biggest crush on Nathan that I have ever witnessed. I could tell that this afternoon was going to be a lot of fun.

As we all hopped on the bus, Seth put his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. I was a bit shocked but quickly acted as if he didn’t affect me at all…even when he slid his hand down to my ass and squeezed it when no one was looking. Shannon was whispering to Nathan about lord knows what and every few seconds she would giggle and he would smile at her. Darren and Mark were busy talking about the latest games and what they would play once they got to my house. Seth wasn’t paying attention to anyone but him and me. I looked up at Seth who smiled at me and then put his arm around my shoulders. “So…what exactly are we going to do at your house?”

“Umm, well I thought we all could watch TV and chill out until you guys have to go.”

“I have a big feeling you’re lying to me Vanessa.” Seth was giving me a sly look.

“I have no idea why you’d think that I was lying.”

Seth leaned over and whispered into my ear, “It’s because I know that you’re smarter than that. The fact that you always look at me when you think I don’t notice and that you pretend that you don’t get turned on when I touch you. Your parents won’t be home until tomorrow night. There are four bedrooms, with locks, and it looks like Shannon and Nathan are planning on getting a little closer once we get home. Not to mention that Darren and Mark will be in your basement playing video games. I think this was a set-up.” Seth nibbled on my earlobe and I heard a soft moan escape from my mouth. “I know you want me,” said Seth with lust written all over him, “I’ve wanted you just as much.”

Just that second I saw my stop approach and quickly pulled the string to signal that I wanted to get off. Thoughts were running through my head as if they were in a race. Was I really that obvious? Was Seth for real about his feelings or was he joking?
By the time we got off the bus, my pussy was soaking wet and I felt hotter than I should have been. Seth wrapped his arm around my waist and we walked together all the way to my house. We were going to make something good of this afternoon. He knew it and so did I.

As Seth had said before, Darren and Mark went straight into my basement when we got to my house. That left Shannon, Mark, Seth, and me to make our way into the living room. Nathan and Shannon wasted no time and sat on the couch farthest away from ours and began kissing and rubbing each other’s bodies. I watched them in lust and I couldn’t figure out why. I had never thought of Shannon in a sexual way, but watching her now was getting me more excited than I was before.

I didn’t even notice when Seth pulled me off the couch with him and led me to my room by my hand. He let me go once we were there and turned to shut my door and lock it. When he looked at me I knew what was to come. I glanced at his pants and saw his now visible hard-on. I looked up and again he was grinning at me. He walked over to me and pushed me to sit on my bed. “ Has anyone told you how tempting you look?” He lifted my chin so we were looking into each others eyes, “You can make a guy bust his load just thinking about you. Touching you, feeling your tits. I think you purposely do it. Just to see how much we can take.”

I didn’t know why he was telling me all of this, but it made me figure out that did care about me after all. I couldn’t help myself any longer. I reached out and undid his belt buckle. I looked into his eyes, which were glazed with lust. I zipped his pants down and pulled them off. I was about to pull down his boxers too when he stopped me. “Nuh-uh, you first.” His hands pulled off my shirt with ease. Seth looked at my breasts in awe as he unhooked my bra and threw it in the pile of discarded clothing. “I love your tits,” he said while pinching my already erect pink nipples, “ Any man would love to fuck your tits, or kiss them. They’re so tempting.” With that last thought in my head, Seth knelt between my legs and began to suck my nipples. He licked around the left nipple while rolling the right nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He finally caught my nipple between his teeth and flicked his tongue over it with expertise. I was in a whole other world. I was moaning non-stop and I started rotating my hips on the edge of the bed. I love having my tit’s played with. It was like there was a switch on my tit’s that signaled my pussy to get wetter.

“Oh Seth, I want you, I need you so bad.” I was thrashing my head from side to side, on the brink of orgasm when Seth clamped his teeth over my nipple and began to hum. The vibrations sent me over the edge, “Oh yes! Yes! I’m cumming…don’t stop. Don’t ever fuckin’ stop!” I was bouncing so wildly that Seth had to sit back on his heels to prevent himself getting hurt.

“ Oh I like that. You look so erotic when you come.”

“ Well if you like it so much, make me come again.”

Giving me a questioning look, Seth got up and took off his shirt. He then looked at me and grinned, “ Get undressed for me girlie.”

That was unexpected. I slowly got up from the bed and pulled down my miniskirt. I then turned sideways and bent over to give Seth a memorable view. I then pulled down my sheer lace panties slowly over my ass, thighs and finally dropped it to the ground. Seth took in a sharp breath and pulled down his boxers just as I stepped out of my panties and kicked them into the pile. I could see his hard cock throbbing with desire. Seth came over me and we shared a sensual kiss. I reached down and stroked his hardness, and got a moan in reply. Getting impatient, Seth picked me up by the ass and carried me over to my bed.

“I’m going to make you crave my dick Vanessa. I wanna make you mine. Only mine. No one else can have you.” He gently laid me down and was leaning over me. His hand ran down my body and between my legs. My pussy was aching with desire as he inserted 1, then 2 fingers inside me. I began to fuck his fingers and moan with pleasure.

“You like that huh Vanessa? You want my dick up inside you tight cunt. Shit, you have the tightest and wettest pussy I’ve ever felt!”

I was so into the moment that I wanted to play along with this master slave scenario. “ Yes, oh god yes! I want your dick up my pussy. I want you to have your way with me. Please make me come.”

Seth caught on to what I was thinking, “Then beg for it. Say ‘Master fuck my hot cunt and make me come’.” He had put in 3 fingers inside me now and his hand was a blur on my cunt.

“Master…fuck my hot cunt…and make me come.” I was breathing hard. I was so close to orgasm and I wanted it badly.

Seth shoved his fingers as deep as he could and stopped his movements, “SAY IT LOUDER SLAVE!” I was desperately trying to fuck his hand but he was stronger than I was and pinned me down, “SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. SAY IT LIKE…like you need it.”

Seth’s aggressiveness was making me lose control. I knew my dignity and pride were suffering, but I was too horney to give a shit. Both of us were breathing heavy and I could see beads of perspiration on Seth’s forehead from his concentration. I knew that he had me wrapped around his fingers, and I realized that I just didn’t care. Screw pride and dignity! I stopped moving and looked Seth straight in the eyes, “ MASTER FUCK MY HOT CUNT! FUCK IT GOOD MASTER. I WANT MY MASTER TO MAKE ME COME!”

Seth groaned and continued to finger fuck my pussy with determination. The sight or me wriggling and moaning was clearly a pleasing site. I guess it was because he knew that he was giving me what I wanted. “That a good girl. Come for me slave. Come right now if you want me to fuck you.” His strokes suddenly became shorter and harder, “I SAID COME!”

His tone of voice triggered my release. I came with an unknown strength. My body was tingling all over as I finished coming. “Oh fuck that was good.” I grinned up at him and he winked at me.

“Vanessa! Let ─ haha, behave ─ me in! It’s important.” There was a knock and then a couple of giggles. Shannon was obviously in a good mood. Seth stared at me with panic in his eyes before he decided to run into my washroom and close the door behind him. I quickly grabbed my towel from the back of my room door and put it around me then proceeded to open the door. I was equally as scared as Seth was. Shannon was the only person I saw and was surprised when she pushed me into the room and tore off my towel.

“I couldn’t help myself anymore Vanessa. I know you’re into Seth, but I just needed to…to…” I cut her off with a kiss. It was totally on impulse but it seemed right. I ended it and led her to my bed and we both sat down. I could see in her face that she was shocked but aroused. “ I saw you and Nathan making out before I went upstairs. I don’t know why but it got me so hot watching you.” Shannon had taken off her shirt and pants as I was explaining. She was now in her blue bra and matching thong.

“I’ve always found you attractive Vanessa, I just didn’t know how to tell you. Last night I caressed your body while you were sleeping and fingered myself to an orgasm imagining what it would be like to taste you…” With that, Shannon moved to kneel between my legs. I bent my knees on the edge of the bed and looked down at Shannon’s eager face. She was kissing my thighs, inching her way to her destination. My hands made their way down my body and to the back of her head, bringing her to the lips of my sopping wet cunt.

“Mmmm.” said Shannon. She sniffed my pussy and was spreading my cunt lips with two of her fingers, “Smells delicious.” I felt her tongue work its magic on my clit. I gasped at the sensation. Shannon was running her tongue all over my pussy lips until she felt my juices flow a bit more. “ Oh yes Shannon. Mmmm, lick me.” She kept licking me for about a minute and then she slithered her tongue to my pussy hole. Shannon pushed her tongue into my hole and pulled it back out again, “What do you want Vanessa. Tell me what you want me to do.”

“I want you to tongue fuck my cunt Shannon.”

“Like this?” She thrusted her tongue in fast and pulled back out after three strokes to tease me.

“Oh yeah! Just like that baby. Tongue fuck my cunt like a good bitch.”

Shannon just gave me a devilish grin and then went back to her task. It started of at a slow pace, but then it became faster and deeper after my demands to ‘fuck me’. Shannon’s hands were gripping my ass and pulling me into her waiting mouth. I couldn’t get enough. I shoved her head into my cunt to try and get her tongue deeper. I kept moaning for her to not stop and was turning my lust-glazed face towards my bathroom door…

I saw Seth’s head looking at the sight before him. I didn’t hear the door open or anything. I was starting to panic. What would he be thinking now? But as I looked at him again, I didn’t see any hate in his eyes. He looked at me and I could tell that he was aroused at what was happening. I figured out that he had probably witnessed a lot if not, the whole entire scene between Shannon and I. The thought of him watching me as I got tongue fucked made me feel desired. It also sent me into another incredible orgasm.

“OH YES! YOU DIRTY BITCH. YOU LIKE LICKING MY CUNT DON’T YOU? YOU MADE ME COME SO HARD. OH MY GOD!! UH…UH…UHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I was gasping for air after that. Shannon just simply got up from between my legs after sucking my cunt clean and licked her lips. She missed some girl cum on her chin so I sat up and wiped it off and fed it to her.

“Mmmm I was right. You DO taste delicious.” We kissed and I could taste myself on her tongue. It didn’t gross me out but just the opposite…

It turned me on.

I began to snap back into reality and think for a bit. “Umm where’s Nathan? I thought he was with you at the door but I didn’t see him.”

“He’s there. After I sucked him off and he ate my pussy, I told him what I wanted to do with you and then he said go for it.” Shannon smiled and then turned her head towards my room door, “Nathan you can come in now.”

Nathan walked in as if he was awaiting his cue. He walked in a couple of steps then stopped to take in the site. “Wow, I never thought two chicks at it would be hot!”

“It’s better if you see the whole thing.” We all turned to the bathroom as Seth approached. Luckily for Nathan, he was covered by the hand towel that was on the rack in the bathroom.

“Nice of you to join us hun. I was starting to wonder when you were gonna come out of there.”

“Yeah well I didn’t want to interrupt your fun.”

“Bullshit, you were probably jacking off,” said Shannon as she got up and made her way over to him. “So, did you like what you saw?” I saw Seth freeze and look over at me as if to say ‘is it okay to flirt back’. He got his answer when I beckoned Nathan to take off all his clothes.

I glanced at Seth and Seth turned his head to look back at Shannon, “ Well it was okay.” Shannon began to rub Seth’s shoulders and she pretended to pout, “What do you mean okay? I was expecting a better review than that.” Seth looked as if he has tuned Shannon out by the activities that were going on on top of my bed.

Nathan and I had obviously realized that actions speak louder than words and he was more than ready to show me that he could satisfy my unsatisfied cunt. Nathan was lying down on my bed with me on top. As a raised myself over his cock I grabbed the base of it with my hand. I looked at Seth to see how he was taking it. I could tell Nathan was getting impatient by the way he was trying to fuck my hand, so I let him slip inside me inch by glorious inch until all of his 8 and a half inches were inside me. I moaned in ecstasy as the sensation of finally being filled with cock overwhelmed me. I rose up the length of his dick and looking straight into Seth’s eyes, slammed my pussy back down onto it.

Shannon had enough of being ignored and put her hands on either side of Seth’s head so he could look at her instead of the hot sex scene behind her. With a devious smile, Shannon moved her hands from Seth’s face to his dick, “What could have made it better?” Seth simply rubbed the back of her neck and smiled dryly, “It would have been better if I was involved. Of course I would only be there as a guide to show you how to give and get proper pleasure."

As soon as he finished his sentence, Seth’s hand moved from the back of her neck to her shoulder and pushed her down on her knees. She was face to face with Seth’s rock hard dick, instantly taking the hint. Shannon wasted no time. She licked her lips in anticipation and grabbed his cock from the base while she moved her mouth to the head of his dick. I heard Seth let out a groan as Shannon’s tongue worked wonders on his neglected area. I turned to see that she was licking all over his shaft and working the sensitive part (right under the piss hole) with her tongue.

Seth had taken all the teasing he could and was ready to get down to business. He took Shannon’s head between his hands and pushed his dick down her throat…all 10 inches of it. Shannon gagged at the unexpected intrusion but then got use to the feeling and let Seth fuck her face. The sight of my best friend getting used like that made me moan out loud.

Nathan and I had switched positions now. I was on the bottom with my legs over his arms. His hands were holding my own down, preventing me from moving. I didn’t want to move however because domination just so happens to be the biggest fetish I have. Nathan was pounding me hard, giving me what my pussy was craving…a good hard dick. Now and again Nathan would look over too see what was happing with his precious vixen and Seth. He seemed to want to get into Shannon’s cunt just as badly as he wanted to be in mine.

And I was feeling the exact same way, with Shannon and Seth. I looked up at Nathan and whispered that I was gong to help him out. Nathan looked lost but didn’t do anything when I slipped off of him and pushed him off of me with my thighs.

Seth and Shannon were in their own little world it seemed as I waked over to them and started kissing Seth. He was a bit startled by the fact that I was now here kissing him instead of getting the hell fucked out of me. I guess he stopped paying attention to everything other than his dick and Shannon’s sweet mouth. He didn’t object however and started kissing me back. All the while Nathan had moved also to kneel behind Shannon. Nathan was rubbing Shannon’s pussy and she took Seth’s member out of her mouth long enough to look behind her and position herself in the doggy style position, “That’s right baby. Fuck my cunt. Teach this bad girl a lesson!”

Nathan entered Shannon with a shove, which to Nathan’s delight made her scream his name. She put Seth in her mouth and started sucking him off again while he fingered my pussy and sucked on my tits. Although this was an arousing position to be in at the moment, it just wasn’t satisfying for me. Just then I realized what I wanted…

“Nathan, stop fucking Shannon. Shannon, stop sucking Seth.” I pulled Seth’s cum drenched fingers from my pussy and moved away from him and knelt down by Shannon, “It’s my turn to taste you…” I lay down on the carpet, “Sit down on my face so you can suck Nathan off too.” Shannon moved and Seth stood where he was waiting for his instructions, “Seth, you promised to fuck my pussy,” I spread my legs wide for him, “I want you to make me cream. Don’t disappoint me.”

Seth did what he was told and knelt between my legs as if he was waiting to hear those words his entire life. I was slurping at Shannon’s cunt, which was dripping wet due to how aroused she got by deep throating Seth. I could feel Seth’s hands running up and down my thighs, delaying the moment as long as he can, but I knew it would only be better when he did enter me. I could here Nathan’s grunts of pleasure as he face fucked Shannon. He obviously wanted to get the same action Seth had gotten and practically left Shannon no choice of who she let fuck her throat.

Shannon was sucking Nathan like a pro. The gag reflex was now gone and I could hear her moan onto his dick. Her tits were bouncing from the force of Nathan’s thrusts. I gazed from the action above my head to the feeling between my legs. Seth was rubbing my clit with the tip of his dick. He then began to rub my pussy lips ever so slowly. The precum and my love juices mixed together to make the feeling even more sensual. Since I had a mouth full of pussy, I couldn’t tell Seth to hurry up and stop his slow torture, so I decided to show him. I raised my pussy so that I was moving with him and slightly pressing my pussy against the head of his dick. Then I lowered myself down and brought my legs up beside my chest, spreading my beautiful wet cunt on display.

Seth finally got the message. He moaned low in his throat and said in a barely audible voice that he was gonna love my pussy. Seth put his hands on my thighs then pushed into me, entering my womanhood with unhurried slowness. As inch by inch was entering me, I felt as if there was no end. It seemed like hours before I felt his pubes on my skin. At last he was in, all 10 inches of him. I let out a moan of pleasure and wonder, which excited Shannon into orgasm. It seemed like a chain reaction as I heard Nathan’s grunts go from impatience to relief. I could hear Shannon swallowing his cum with delight because of how she kept moaning. Seth was moving in and out of me with a steady pace all the while. He was moaning and telling me that I was beautiful and stuff. I found it intriguingly romantic by how he was oblivious to what he was saying in front of Nathan.

Nathan had pulled out of Shannon’s mouth and led her out of the room with him. Shannon came back at the last second to retrieve their clothes then winked at me and closed the door behind her as she and her lover left Seth and I alone in my room. I was still marveling in the taste of Shannon’s girl cum on my tongue as Seth pulled out of me, “Get on your hands and knees.”

Feeling relieved that his absence inside me was just temporary, I rolled over and braced myself. I guess Seth missed me as much as I missed him because he wasted no time at all in getting back inside my velvet walls. He rammed into me with a force that I didn’t know he had. It made me cry out in pain but the sensation was too great to tell him to stop. Seth spread my legs wide, till I was basically doing the splits while riding his thick member.

“Oh god Seth. No one I’ve ever been with has made me feel like you make me feel right now!” and I meant it. There’s something about being fucked (and I do mean FUCKED) by the man you love that makes me think about how lucky I am, even if it causes you some pain and discomfort while in the same position after a while.

I looked back at Seth after I heard him let out a small gasp. My 1st thought was that I was an idiot for sharing deep feelings such as that with a guy who’s fucking you senseless…but then I saw his feelings written all over his face. He didn’t have to say anything at all. There was no need to; his face said it all. I could see his emotional side showing. He looked at me as if I was the only person that mattered to him at this second. In my past experiences, the guys are usually paying more attention to getting themselves off then pleasing the girl. But now, his hips were pumping hard, wanting me to come with him. His hands were pulling me back onto his dick by my waist and my pussy was gripping him with urgency. I wanted it too. I wanted to share that experience with him. I was moaning louder, so close to my release that I could taste it. At the same moment I could feel his cock swell inside me, signaling his release.

“Oh god, I’m gonna come in your cunt Vanessa. I can’t hold back anymore. Come with me!”

I fucked him back just as hard after he said that, which made me come at the double force of his intrusion.

“Seth! You’re making me cream! Oh my god yes!! Fuck my cunt! Love my pussy baby! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Seth’s grunts blended in with my moans as we both came with a force of ten thousand horses. I felt squirt after squirt of his cum inside me, and it seemed endless. We both collapsed where we were on the floor, both exhausted but sated. Our breathing finally became normal and we both got up and got dressed. We’ve been inside my room for about 3 hours and surely all hell had to have broken loose downstairs by now. I walked towards my door and reached to turn the doorknob when Seth came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Vanessa, I hope you don’t think this is a 1 time thing. I like you and you like me. Why don’t you and I become a couple?”

“I’ll think about it.” I winked at him and he smiled then we both proceeded to go downstairs hand in hand. We both knew what my answer was. It was just as obvious as what we would be doing tomorrow. Sunday was going to be fun.
18 comments

READERReport

2006-12-21 21:35:33
Seemed fine to me. I could read it, punctuation grammar were ok, spelling is good, by the standard around here its got be worth an 8 imo.

READERReport

2006-11-05 16:29:22
I thought it was really good personaly.My name is Darren so i felt kinda left out that the guy with my name didnt get any good fun(altho video games can be fun but nothing compared to sex)i think in your next chapter you should have an all out orgy with the 4 main guys 2 main girls and a new girl to spice it up alittle.Very good stroy writing but a few notes.one)more detail on sensation thats a very key facter in story telling.Two)Less randomness it was weird when the main character suddenly changed partners when she was dreaming about Seth.But over all very good i enjoyed every sentence.

READERReport

2006-06-10 07:58:39
Ashley Barbie, and Archaic both suck, so don't listen to a word they say. They talk big, while their stories get low ratings, so evidently they don't know what the hell they are talking about

READERReport

2006-06-06 02:04:51
I think this story was written by an adolescent male about his fantasy classmate, but he tried switching it around and writing it from her perspective, so she desired him so much. Yeah, no descriptions of what the orgasm feels like . . . or the connected feelings between the breasts and vagina -- definitely a male writer, that becomes painfully obvious during the sex scenes. Try writing from the male perspective next time, unless you're a virgin female -- that would explain it as well. Also, the sex who was doing what to whom -- I couldn't follow it. There wasn't anything to draw me into it. It was just bad cliche after bad cliche. Also, she sometimes writes like she's been around the blocks a number of times, but it's not developed clearly. 1/10

READERReport

2006-06-06 01:32:45
And then gem 'I didn’t know why he was telling me all of this, but it made me figure out that did care about me after all' -- sweetie, the guy is using the corniest line in the world to get in your pants! Also, this writer is copying or something, because she unzipped his belt buckle then removed his pants. did his belt magically disappear? Also, you should be bannished to some cold place for giving guys the false impression that humming on a girls tits will get her off! Yeah, this is definitely a male writer. If a tight female had three fingers inside of her, she would write about the stretching of her vagina. Some men have no idea about women . . .

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