This is the story of my first experience with a guy…I am going to use this forum to get a lot off my chest, things only two other people and the parties involved know about. With no one to tell, I am hoping this acts as a way to just get it off my chest and the weight off my shoulders.
It was late on a Friday night, I was in our athletic center lifting. I didn't go out much in college and didn't drink, so my weekends where quiet unless I was home visiting friends. I finished up and was changing and packed my bag and grabbed my shower stuff and headed into the large open shower room. I took the side unit around the corner because a lot of the shower heads where visible to most of the locker area. I turned on my shower but I was freezing, so I went to every shower head and turned them on hoping to het the room hotter so I wasn't freezing my ass off. As I started to wash up I kept going over my dick and after a while I started to get hard, I started to rub my cock a little and then I decided fuck it, I'm gonna jerk off. It was late on a Friday night, 30 minutes before the center closed, I was probably good to go and gave myself the green light.

As I was doing my thing, still being discrete, I was stroking my cock, as I am jerking off a guy walks into the shower room, I wasn't expecting anyone, its scare the shit out of me. I was looking into the corner, I went back to washing up, I looked back to see if he noticed, but he was facing away from me, back to me, on the other side of the shower room. After a few glances back over my shoulder I decided I could finish up as long as I paid attention and was sneaky about it. There is a distinct sound the water makes as its splashing off a person jerking off, I was trying to hide it as best I could. After a while I stopped looking over my shoulder as much, out of the corner of my eye I noticed the guy moving to a different shower head, this wasn't uncommon as some were hotter than others and some had more pressure. He moved two heads away from me to my left, I was embarrassed because I was now turned in a opposite direction trying to hide my hard dick, I pretended still to be washing up, trying to relax so my cock would go down and I could leave un-noticed. As I was washing up and waiting and trying to relax we exchanged a few clanks, 'as he checking me out?' I thought to myself, I thought I was going crazy. As was turned around I started hearing that noise the water makes when you're jerking off. I glanced over and his bad was to me and he was rubbing his cock, stroking it slowly to not make it obvious. I turned away…I don't know why, but I started to get hard again. I don't know if it was because it was taboo, I don't know if it was because we were both standing there hard trying to hide doing our thing or what but I got rock hard again. I slowly started stroking my dick again, putting some shaving gel in my hand to make it a little easier and quieter, he looked over his shoulder, probably because he heard the 'sound' coming from my way, We both made eye contact and looked away, while I wasn't close to any of them I recognized him from campus, he was on the LAX team. In great shape, we both had our backs to each other, when we made the eye contact and both noticed we were jerking off we both started stroking our cocks and started going harder and faster. Now we were staring at each other while we are both jeering off looking into each others eyes, half smiling, occasionally looking at each others cock when all of a sudden he gave me a smile and when I smiled back he walked over and pushed me against the wall and started jerking me off. I pushed off the wall and he showed me back against it wrapping his hand around my shaft and the the other playing with my balls. I could feel his dick pressing against my ass and pushing into me, I kept moving my hips a little back and forth keeping it from pressing against my asshole, he was trying but after a few squirms he stopped and kept jerking me off, stopping once for not even a second to put shaving gel on his hand and started jerking me off again. I didn't know what to do, this had never happened before. I kept trying to push off the wall and he would push me back against it with force grabbing and squeezing my cock harder and going faster than before, I was bigger than him, I could have moved off the wall if I wanted to but something in me only wanted to half move, something else made me stay and let it continue.

Out of no where the stroking and the whole situation caught up to me, I started breathing really heavy and then I started to get a little light headed from the heavy breathing, I bent over and put my hands against the wall as he went faster, I started to moan and yell out 'Im gonna come, omg Im gonna come…omfg Im coming. I'M COMING!!!!!" I shot the biggest load I have ever shot all over the shower wall. When I came I was almost ready to pass out from the heat and the whole event, I was still propped on the wall hands out, that must have been the 'go ahead' in his eyes his hands moved from my dick to one on my shoulder and one pulling on my hip, he slip the head of his cock against my asshole and was trying to go inside me, I stood up, turned and pushed him against the shower wall just like he did to me, pushing off the wall I grabbed his dick , it was probably 7" I had to guess, about the same size as mine but he was thicker, I just started stroking his cock telling him to come. I didn't like what I was doing, but I almost felt obligated after he just made me come…I kept stroking and lubing my hand with shaving gel and jerking him off, he started to pant, his hand reached back around and grabbed my ass and he was pulling me into him. I don't know if he was just into the hand job or signaling for me to stick my cock in his ass but I just kept jerking him off, he started moaning and all of a sudden three huge come shots blasted onto the wall. As soon as I saw his come on the wall and all over my hand I grabbed my towel and ran out, I dodnt even take my shower basket with my soap and stuff, I wanted out…I grabbed my stuff, threw my clothes on I was lifting in because the sweats went on easier and faster than the jeans I planned on changing into and I ran out. I literally was running across campus until I got to my room. Lucky for me my roommates where more social than me so they were out. I usually had the whole weekend to myself or they would stroll in at 5am some nights but usually they would stay out in the city. I stayed up all night crying. I didn't know what the fuck just had happened. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know how to take it, I didn't know if that made me gay, I didn't want that or anything like that to happen but something about it was so erotic and made me harder and come more than I had ever before. My head felt like mush. I couldn't think straight and wore myself all out thinking and trying to make light of everything. I ended up passing out. When I woke up it all felt like a dream but I knew it wasn't. I went to take a shower and unwind a little, I again found myself crying over the whole situation. About a week later of avoiding my two roommates, their gay sexual craziness and harassment I started to settle down and not be so beat up over it. I was getting mad because I found myself thinking about the whole crazy situation and getting hard, what the hell was happening to me? I am not attracted to men, I LOVE girls, tits, pussy…LOVE head. What was going on?! About two weeks later, in a sociology class my professor addressed the class on a topic of same sex marriages, a topic of homosexuality and whether it was nature or environment. He made a comment that slammed home and made me take a sigh or relief and made me feel a lot better. He made a comment that if a male was receiving oral sex from a girl or a man he wouldn't know unless he could see the person. If the lights were off you'd have no idea…he went on to talk about society and how it is very black and white, its either A or B, this or that…he said that wasn't the world we live in. There are grey areas…a person doesn't have to be gay to enjoy receiving or doing sexual acts, the person could be horny, its possible to have sexual chemistry with someone or not even and still have sexual relations with them with out feelings for them or their sex. He sighted drunk girls at the club and inmates that engage in same sex acts while in jail but never again after they are out. The part about not being black and white and that there are grey areas really helped me out, it struck a cord and made it easier for my brain to wrap itself around everything that happened. Just because I got hard watching another guy jerk off and let him touch me and make me come didn't make me gay. It would however set the tone for a taboo fetish that would consume my thoughts and test my imagination for years to come.
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