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Introduction:

The way to a woman's heart is through her rectum.
I sat down on the ring, the unexpected coldness of which against my bare buttocks forced a comical yelp from my throat. I had a couple of thought's lengths to feel face-reddening embarrassment, but when Kristiina turned to grin and wink at me from the door, I knew this having happened to her as well. After my mind relaxing, I relaxed the sphincters of my urethra and rectum and let things proceed by their own weight.

Feces thick and only a little softer than stone avalanched from my bowels into the bowl and felt to massage every nerve ending of my body on its way, breaking me out all over with gooseflesh. Urea rushed from my mons to the water with frenzied pressure, and the stinging of my too-full bladder softened gradually into miniature climaxes of relief that ran bursts of hot shivers from the root of my spine up to between my shoulder blades. I leaned my head back to the wall, closed my eyes, and urinated and defecated for several purling and splashing minutes.

After emptying, I opened my eyes, wiped my backside and pubic hair, got up from the seat, pressed its flush button, and yanked up and belted fast my faithful party pants - Nobody's sienna brown Cult Skinny jeans, which, if and when worn without underpants, fit me like a second skin. After additionally washing my hands, I turned towards the door and Kristiina, who instantly blasted out a stomachfelt laughter, whistled one long note, and said, "That was quite some kind of a load. How long exactly had you been holding it?"

A small laugh escaped me involuntarily, and I shrugged. "I lost my sense of time."

Kristiina burst into a new laughter as she hurried past me to the bowl and turned her rear to it. After lifting the hem of her dress from her knees to her waist to take her turn in manifesting the gospel of underpantfreedom and dropping down on the seat, she asked over the starting rush and purl, "Might there have been something - or rather someone - specific causing this cerebral lapse?"

For a person I'd met twenty minutes ago in toilet queue, Kristiina read me noteworthily well. "A certain Jukka," I answered truthfully, for even though the thing being still on the stage of (strong) crush had made me want to squirm, in the company of this woman it didn't feel possible. Against all my expectations, I didn't feel blushing. Kristiina's apparent shamefreedom seemed to be stirring up in me something equivalent.

Kristiina whistled a note lower and shorter than the previous. Then she asked over a long, loud fart immediately following the stop of the flow of urine, "Might he be here today?"

"He might," I answered and went on. "And I may have gotten caught up in dreaming about going into his pants for so long that eventually I was about to go into mine."

Kristiina started laughing, doubling over, which was followed in a few seconds by a massive splash. "Uhh" escaped Kristiina. Then she straightened herself, looked again at me, and said, "My sweet Gabi, that was a sign of it being time for you to move from dreams to deeds."

"Wholly undoubtably," I replied, and we smiled at each other like friends of old.

Jukka Köyhälinen was, in addition to the host of the party, Jarno Kuusela, the only attendee with whom I'd exchanged more than three words. So far, I truly didn't have a bad thing to say about him. The visibly heartfeeling, intense and humorous individual, who, as the only person I knew, shared my interest in Swahili outsider art and possessed the ability to hover noodles by blowing with his nose, even felt like a potential boyfriend, which, considering my inherent excessive realism, said much.

"Do you mind if I do it straight away?" I asked Kristiina, who was beginning the wiping of her posterior.

"Not at all. Go, do, and let us adhere to Wednesday."

"Yep!"

"Have good anal sex."

"Thank you."

From what and at what point Kristiina had deduced my preference of sexual interaction, I didn't even dare guessing, but thanks to her, I now headed towards the center point of the party equipped with a new layer of self-confidence.

When arriving into the living to room, I immediately noticed Jukka having left the Alias group and sitting now in an armchair in the other end of the room with a bottle of long drink in his hand. I walked through the room, looking around for somewhere to sit – preferably close to Jukka – only to perceive that during my visit to the sanitary facilities all the room's sittable surfaces, including the floor and the table standing in the middle of it, had been put to use.

The situation didn't offer a chance for any particularly subtle strategy, and then again, despite my increased self-confidence, I wasn't here and now at all as verbally loaded as characteristic to me, so I decided to proffer my ass in a way that would blend in with its surroundings. I stopped in front of Jukka, looked him into his deep green eyes, and opened the dialogue.

”Is this free? I mean... oh hell.”

I had started making an idiot of myself from the first word I'd said. I covered my face with my hand, felt blushing, and a laugh escaped me. Then I gathered myself and went on.

”Obviously it's not free, as you're sitting there. But could I come, say... on your lap? Shows to be a common practice here.”

Jukka shot a quickish glance around the room. As his eyes were directed at the sofa on the other side of the room, the corners of his mouth involuntary-lookingly rose a notch, which made me look in the same direction.

On the middle cushion of the sofa, between two young men badly acting watching television, a woman topless and crammed into jeans several numbers too small was wholebreastedly enjoying the interest of a likewise shirtless and notably younger man straddling her lap manifesting as intense sucking of neck and heated kneading of mammary glands. The both-sided sheer joy of life shining out of the activity forced my face to a smile as well.

I turned my gaze back to Jukka and shook my head. “Those two are running wild,” I said and uttered a half-involuntary laughter. This was followed by a moment of sheer silence, and I pondered if I should repeat my question. Then Jukka sipped the remains of his long drink down his throat, put the bottle down on the floor beside the chair, and patted his lap. “It's free.”

I smiled at my fortune, turned around, and sat down on Jukka's lap - not astride in a horse riding position, like most here, but like in a chair and back enough for my butt to rest against his groin. I immediately felt a growing sensation of hotness in my buttocks.

After a moment, I felt Jukka bring his arms a little around me so that his fingers lay on my lower stomach left bare by my leather top. I didn't think that the gesture was intended as sexual, but happily for me, I was in a state in which everything felt sexual. Small tingles ran from the pit of my stomach to lower in my body.

I pondered whether to ask Jukka about successfulness of the party, but because deep down I wasn't the small talk type and Jukka didn't seem to care about generic bullshit either, I remained silent.

I sank into my thoughts for a moment, and when I awoke back to this world, my legs were growing numb. I started to fix my position – and froze mid-motion.

As bemused as I was and as much as the unpleasant me inside my head wanted to contradict, I knew exactly what I had felt. The point of marble hardness in Jukka's jeans against my butt could not have been anything else than his blood-packed penis. I felt flames lick my buttocks before the fact. I granted Jukka a quick smile over my shoulder, and as calm as he tried to look, his eyes echoed with their burning the message of his sex organ. I sat back down. It was time to move on from flirtation to seduction.

I started moving my blazing backside back and forth over Jukka's erection slowly, tiny movement. Feeling his hardness against the cleavage of my butt made me see small stars, and he wrapped more of his arms around me. I kept my movements steady and us enjoying.

At one moment, I felt Jukka's penis rise harder into my cleavage. Then it fell to as it was, but right away rose again, again, yet again, and so on. I felt Jukka lean his forehead to my back and heard him sigh loudly – and that's when into me struck the truth about what I'd done. As much as I feared it, I looked over my shoulder.

Jukka raised his head up and opened his eyes to look at me. His sweaty, hazy-eyed and open-mouthed face glowed with post-orgasmic red, and I felt my own burst into one of shame. My new self-confidence had led me to my destruction. Goddamn fucking Kristiina. “Oh hell. I am sorry. I only meant to tease. You should have said...”

“I would have said if I'd wanted you to stop,” Jukka cut me off.

A spontaneous smile took over my face, even though my head was left half full of fear. “So, it didn't bother you?”

“That I had an orgasm?” Jukka grinned. “Not at all, I've always liked them.”

My smile broadened as if the corners of my mouth had been yanked with hooks. “And it didn't even bother you that you had it in a public place?”

“Well, this ain't so public. And I don't think anyone noticed.”

My smile faded out of a new fear's way, and I started glancing nervously in every direction. There weren't eyes directed at us from anywhere. Gradually, the fear made room for relief and a new smile it brought. “Doesn't seem they did,” I confirmed. After this, I got up from Jukka's lap and sat down there again, this time astride, facing him.

For a moment we sat there looking at each other and I tried feverishly to come up with something to say that would suit the situation. Eventually a laugh escaped me half out of amusement, half out of frustration with myself. “Usually I've some sort of ingenious verbal fireworks for every situation. Sorry, but now I don't know to say this any other way than simply and pithily.”

”I don't mind. Just say it.”

”I hope I didn't accidentally scare you in any way with that. I mean, you don't seem like you'd get scared by that kind of stuff, but still. I'm just feeling paranoid because I like you and wouldn't like to screw up terribly. It's not even like me to think about what someone thinks about me. But now I'm thinking.”

”I think you're lovely. And what you just did was the most erotic thing ever done to me.”

I now saw Jukka blush for the first time. I smiled at him and felt myself blush. Jukka returned my smile. Then he placed his hands on both sides of my face, leaned toward me, and pressed his lips on mine. I responded by pressing my tongue on his lips, and he opened his mouth for me. We stayed in the kiss for a small eternity. We had just detached from each other, when there was a loud bam from the direction of the sofa.

I thought that someone had burst a balloon or a paper bag, until I saw the shirtless cougar woman and her companion. The boy sat glued against the sofa as if trying to push himself through it. The left cheek was amazingly red, and blood seeped from the nostril of the same side. The cougar had stood up and looked at the boy as if he'd just tried to at least murder her family. This was exciting.

”I will not be done up the ass,” the cougar said as if spraying words with blood in the air. ”I mean, fuck, you should have said immediately that you're some goddamn perv, so I wouldn't have wasted my time on you.” She paused and looked around her. All eyes were on her, and most didn't seem to know if to laugh or be afraid. ”Throw that fucker of shithole to hell,” spoke the cougar like the supreme judge.

There followed a moment of silence, which was broken by the young man on the left cushion of the sofa. ”Don't you think you're being a little disproportionate, Helena?”

Helena shot a hostile glare at the speaker but didn't have time to say anything before there sounded from the back of the room, “In fact, you're one totally fucking stupid bitch.”

All eyes were on the speaker, who was a young man dressed in a black beret, a burgundy suit jacket, a turquoise tie, an orange T-shirt, and mismatched sneakers looking intensely from under his one eyebrow. He took off his beret and calmly returned Helena's look, which was a mixture of deadly animosity and aghast confusion.

Everyone seemed waiting for Helena's reply smelly of fire and brimstone, but when there didn't come one, the beret man went on.

”You trim your ass into unconscionable shape, wrap it up in those, and subtly whisk it while walking. All that is missing is a gold tray from under your backside and an arrow pointing at the between of your buttocks.”

At this point the air filled with sniggers and bursts of laughter. Helena glowed red. And the beret man turned up the heat.

“And then comes the day someone comes up with proposing anal sex to you. And that's what sends you flying off the handle, as if you weren't wholebeingedly sending out signals telling one to fuck you in the ass.” The man swung the beret back on his head theatrically and concluded, “So, it might pay off to look in the mirror even at some times other than when applying make up or trying on clothes.”

Helena looked at the beret man as if he weren't a human at all, but the bogeyman she always feared but never thought to meet. There followed a lengthy silence, which eventually was broken by Helena.

“I do not have to listen to this. Throw out both that shitassfucker and that fucking beret freak.”

Party master Jarno had another opinion. “Jere and Erno aren't guilty of anything. In all probability it's you who's leaving here, Helena.”

Helena looked at Jarno as if he'd refused her the right to breathe. "Fucking bullshit. I came here to party, and I have a right to be here. These abnormities may go fuck pigs, for instance.”

Jarno looked at Helena, looking patient, pointed his thumb behind his back towards the hall, and said, “The door is that way.”

Helena looked at Jarno, and the look on her face was a mixture of disbeliefed panic and sheer lust for murder. “I will not go through it,” she said, sounding as if she'd loaded her last remains of stubbornness into those words.

Jarno kept his dour calm. “Well, I've also got a balcony there. So, may I have some assistance?” The man of the left cushion got up from the couch, then the man of the right cushion, and finally the loverboy with a devilish grin of lust for vengeance on his face.

The look on Helena's face was already that of sheer despair as the men surrounded her. “No fucking way, you're all equally insane.” Each of the men grabbed one limb, after which they lifted Helena into a steady carry and started transporting her toward the balcony. Jukka and I got up from our chair, and Jukka opened the balcony door for the carriers.

Helena was beginning to truly panic. “What the fuck? You cannot really throw me off the balcony.” The men stood on the balcony and looked for their time at Helena, exchanging frequent grins. “Then, perhaps through the door,” said Jarno eventually. The men started carrying Helena toward the door. As the door to the staircase opened, Helena felt the need to say the last words.

“Fuck, I will never again talk to any of you! Goddamn pervs and inbreeders!”

“In the end there always comes the day when the weekend is over,” philosophized the beret man from the doorside, the beret askew.

“Go smell a goatling's cunt,” fired Helena.

The men took a little momentum and threw the cursing woman into the hallway. Helena flew in an arc and landed ass first. When sitting up, she hit her head to the wall behind her.

“Ow, fuck!”

Jarno pulled the door shut.

The men stood at the door for some time, silence prevailing. When there was no sound, Jarno glanced through the peephole into the hallway.

“The queen has left,” he announced, and received a response of laughter and hurrahs.

People started returning to their places. Jukka, too, seemed to be leaving back to the armchair, but I pulled him by his hand back to the hall, pressed him against the wall, and drowned him in a long kiss. After that we looked at each other, smiling.

“Helena and wrong signals,” said Jukka, and we laughed in unison at the incident. Then I felt the need to make sure having been fully understood myself. I leaned against Jukka and half-whispered, “Just so you know, I don't do wrong signals.”

“I never thought so,” said Jukka.

“That is to say, I want you. Inside my butt.”

Merely finally stating this aloud to Jukka grew my desire greater than it had been during the whole evening. Few things in the world I'd ever lusted for as much as anal sex. And none I could remember lusting for like Jukka.

“I want you now,” said Jukka.

“Likewise,” I replied. We kissed, this time faster, but just as intensely as before.

“Jarno,” Jukka called out.

“Jukka, Gabi,” Jarno answered from the living room and appeared in the hall the next moment. He looked at us with a smile. “So, you found each other.”

“Yeah, so we did,” I replied and nestled into Jukka's side.

“We'll be leaving now,” Jukka said. “Thank you for a nice party.” He pulled me tighter against him, as if it were possible.

"By all means. It was nice that you came. See you."

"Yep, see you," concluded Jukka.

We waved as we left through the door. We ran down the stairs. I fumbled the key from my jeans pocket and opened the door to my apartment. We stepped inside.

I headed straight away to the bathroom for a new emptying. Jukka went after me. I popped into the bedroom to take the bedspread off the bed and move a bottle of lubricant from the drawer of the nightstand atop it, after which I moved to the bathroom door to wait for my man.

As Jukka stepped out, I immediately grabbed him by the hand to lead him to the bedroom, where we shared a long, fiery kiss. Jukka took his hands behind my back and tried to get the strings of the top open, but his fingers trembled feelably, and he didn't succeed. Eventually, he took hold of both of the strings and pulled with all his strength. The strings did not give. At this point a laugh escaped me, and I pulled his hands away.

“That would certainly be erotic and primeval, but this cost quite a lot,” I said, sounding out of breath. I opened the top from the back and let Jukka pull it off to reveal my braless breasts, the nipples of which greeted him larger than I remembered them ever having been.

Jukka leaned toward me and took my left breast in his mouth. He sucked the breast and moved his tongue in slow, caresses on the nipple. I pulled him tighter against me, and little moans of enjoyment escaped me. After a moment, he changed breasts and gave the right side the same treatment. Then he leaned down to kiss my stomach.

I took hold of Jukka's T-shirt, starting pulling it off him, and noticed my hands trembling slightly. Jukka helped me all he could, and after a moment he too was topless.

I went down on my knees and pressed my lips to Jukka's stomach. I gave little kisses around his navel. Then I put to use my tongue and started licking his stomach with gentle strokes, stopping at moments to tease, ever lower, until I came to where his jeans began. I opened the zipper of his jeans, then the belt. Then I took hold of his jeans and underpants and yanked both down with one pull. His manhood sprang to fill my field of vision with its being packed large out of desire by hot liquid of life.

Lust growing beyond reason made stars dance in my eyes and was making it impossible to focus on what I was doing. On the conscious level I wanted to continue the foreplay, but every cell of my body was screaming protest.

Finally, I shook my head and got up. I took hold of my jeans, tore open both the belt and the button, and pushed them down.

Jukka came down on his knees in front of me and started kissing my mons, but my hands pulled his head away faster than I could think. He looked up into my eyes. I shook my head and let out a laugh. “Sorry, I'm going crazy. No more foreplay, OK? Please just take me now.” Even to me my voice sounded abnormally quiet and muddy.

Jukka got up and grabbed both of my hands to pull me against him. I felt his body against mine, how the chest pressed into my breasts and the standing penis pressed my moist mons. We shared a long kiss. Then Jukka grabbed me by the hands and pulled me behind him towards the bed.

We plumped down on the bed next to each other. I picked up the bottle of lubricant from the table, squeezed some of the gel into my hand, and applied it gently on Jukka's thick-standing organ. After this I handed the bottle to Jukka and settled onto my stomach on the bed.

In a couple of seconds I felt a finger slippery and cool from the gel pushing slowly to the interior of my posterior, which made me shiver and sigh. My bowel tingled merely from the thought of Jukka's penis pushing into it. The finger pulled out of me to return in a few seconds to deliver a second dose of gel, before I heard Jukka snap the bottle shut and put it back down on the nightstand.

Jukka lay down on me so that the slippery, stiff tool rested against my backside. We were exactly of the same height, which, for its part, promised us a harmonious future.

I groped Jukka's manhood into my right hand and guided it to my anxiously awaiting opening. Jukka pushed himself in and filled my bowel with velvet marble. He pulled himself nearly all the way out, then again pushed in, out, and yet again in. The steadily continuing emptyings and fillings lulled me into a goosefleshed euphoria in which I time after time felt filling with a greater amount of fabric stone bliss.

My breathing deepened along with my enjoyment, and I began to shiver. My rejoicing butt began breaking into warninglessly-arriving jerks and contractions that came with them. Jukka's magnitude answered to these with throbs that made tingles run along the walls of my bowel.

Hand in hand, or, more correctly, penis in rectum, we journeyed towards the edge of the abyss. My jerks had grown close to constant and strengthened into spasmodic, ferocious thrusts that buried my buttocks into the root of the enormity stretching the between of them. The tingles of my bowel coming with the ever more frequent, more rhythmic, and more powerful throbs of the measure of my man evolved into sparks of torturously strong pleasure that first radiated into my buttocks, then spread in waves to caress my whole body.

Suddenly came a throb of Jukka's manhood jerking my whole backside with its strength, followed by a second, then third, fourth and so on. These throbs swelled the megalith like a balloon, feeling to expand my bowel across the limits of its stretch and with it my consciousness beyond its comprehension. At the coming of each, tens of armadas of sparkles shot from my bowel to a run along all the external and internal surfaces of my body, while Jukka moaned.

Suddenly I felt my whole body tense to its extreme and the sparkles in my bowel and buttocks strengthening into little electric shocks of pleasure that forced me to moan. The involuntary thrusts of my backside against the pounding of Jukka's now already colossal penis broke out into a continuous maniac dance that strengthened and quickened along with the beats of my heart gone wild. One unwarned moment I felt a fleet of electric sparkles shoot from the bottom of my bowel faster than thought up my spine into my head – and there we went.

The collision of the electric sparkles into my brain burst on from there a pouring rain of them to wash my whole body, flung the verges of my consciousness into infinity, and exploded my rectum to crush with spastic hugs of love the velvet marble colossus of its pleasure, which immediately pulled into swells that filled my brain through my ass and spewed hot gunk in thick jets to my deepest. Disappearing into the eye of the pleasure storm, I screamed my pleasure at the top of my throat into the night.

Finally, we lay side by side and hand in hand, soaked by sweat and out of breath. I tried for my time to think up something to say, but because of nothing but platitudes coming to my mind, it feeling - despite a bottomless feel of happiness - too teenish to declare love here and now, and me still not being the small talk type, I settled for enjoying the silence. Jukka didn't open his mouth either. We fell asleep there.
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