Part one of 3-4
The thing about revolutions is that they never work on a schedule. One minute everybody is happily mucking along behind their oxen in abject poverty, the next minute it’s all pitchforks and torches. Well in this case it was Kalashnikovs and rocket launchers, but the sentiment was the same. The small island nation had finally succumbed to the pressures of extremism, poverty, and really muggy weather to raise up in arms and depose the dime store tyrant de jour.

Nate’s problem was that the locals didn’t take too kindly to rich (?) American businessmen they guessed were collaborating with their tormentors. Nate had bribed, cajoled, and begged his way onto a Malaysian cargo freighter after the rioters had made the airport a really bad option. His satellite phone was with the rest of his gear in the trunk of a burned out cab somewhere on the other side of town. As a consultant, he was unlikely to be rescued by the oil company he had been working for, so he had made his own way.

Nate flicked a cigar butt over the railing of the freighter into the bay while he watched the fires burn at several points around the city. The smell of burning tires choked the air and gunshots could be heard in the distance. Nate had seen it all too many times before. He had started his own consulting business after he gotten out of the army. His engineering degree and intelligence training gave him a solid background to offer companies wanting to start business ventures on the wild side of the global economy. His resourcefulness had rewarded him well enough to settle down and work from some office, but he liked the pace of field work. He was not so fond of being shot at by angry mobs though. This time had been a little hairy.

As he watched the show, a black SUV pulled up on the dock. The driver hustled two hooded figures past the armed Malaysian mariners that guarded the gangway. The driver met with one of the ships officers and money obviously changed hands. Nate guessed it was probably a couple of tourists with connections to some embassy. Good for them, he thought, hopefully they speak English. The native language on the Island was Spanish which was fine with Nate, but his Malaysian was limited to about three sentences.

The two figures, which were obviously females, were led to the cabins. Nate could only recall one other empty room besides his. His curiosity finally got the better of him and he ventured below. Besides he might catch a stray bullet if he stayed up here.

Nate went to his small cabin and drew a bucket of water to clean up. As he undressed he looked at himself in the mirror. It could have been worse. He was still relatively fit for his mid thirties though certainly not in the shape he was in during the war when he had run intelligence operations in the mountains of Afghanistan with the Spec-Ops and Northern alliance. The shoulders were still broad but he was a little softer from all of the road food. His legs and shoulders bore scars from various accidents, combat wounds, and dumbass stunts from his youth. His dark hair was prematurely grey at the sides and cut short in the style of a traveler, and about three days past due for a shave. He spent a lot of time in the sun and it showed in his face and eyes. All in all he was well above the curve for a 36 year old but the last ten years had been hard on him.

Nate had inquired about shower facilities but had been told in broken spanglish that that was below in the crew quarters. The officer’s cabins were off limits. After he washed and shaved out of the bucket of cold soapy water he pulled on some cargo pants, a safari shirt and sandals. Nate was about set off to locate his new shipmates. He was eager to see what they looked like, and also to see what his chances were of acquiring some ‘companionship’. Nate was not above taking advantage of local working girls while on his trips, but the island had a rather booming sex trade that made him wary of catching something that could not be cured with a shot. He had not even seen any ‘farmer’s daughters’ to try and seduce while on this trip. The possibility of snagging a lonely tourist would at least give him something to work on while ticking away the hours. The cruise would be nearly eight days to Malaysia and he didn’t even have anything to read.

Before he could step out of his cabin, there was a knock at his door. When he opened the door he got his first look at Mel. She was about twenty, a very sleight, small girl barley five feet tall. She had sun bleached blonde hair and freckles splashed across her nose and cheeks. “They told us there was another American on the boat, are you him?” she asked, peering up from under a green baseball cap. She had a fearless intensity in her eyes that belied the circumstances.

“I reckon that would be me, my name is Nate, welcome to the SS Evacuation” Nate quipped trying to put her at ease. Besides the hat she was wearing loose cut off canvas shorts and a ribbed tank top. She had an outdoorsy fitness look, lean and tight with lots of sun. “I don’t suppose you speak Malaysian?” He asked her after a brief pause.

“Is that what they speak? The guy at the consulate just said we needed to get on the boat because things were going to get ugly for Americans. We got separated from our group during the riots and had to hide until morning, then we ran to the Australian consulate, but we could not get in with US passports. The guy at the gate had one of their drivers bring us here.” She fidgeted with her ponytail while she spoke. She was antsy, and kept glancing down the hall.

“I guess that means you are not alone, how many of you got on the boat?” Nate asked, though he knew the answer. Once a spy, always a spy.

“Just me and another girl from our mission group. I need to get back to our room, she is really scared.” She said.

“Let me walk down with you, so she’ll know you guys are not alone. By the way, I didn’t catch your name?” Nate asked as he followed her down the narrow corridor. He watched her butt and legs as she stepped over the bulkheads. Nice, a little on the skinny side for his taste, but very nice. Definitely a runner.

“Oh jeeze, I’m sorry, my name is Melanie, my friend is Kim. We were here to do humanitarian work with our church group over the summer. They never told us the place was so dangerous.” She said without looking back over her shoulder.

Melanie walked about fifty to a door down the hall from Nate’s room. She opened the door without knocking while he was standing over her shoulder. Kim was stripped to her bra and underwear trying to comb out her shaggy red hair. Nate had guessed Melanie to be about twenty, Kim was closer to fifteen. She was pale, thin, and just starting to fill out in her hips. She was not flat chested but she was not far from it, the bra was mostly for show. She was turned sideways with her head down and didn’t see him. She had an exceptional little ass clad in plain pastel green panties. Nate averted his eyes and cleared his throat as Melanie spoke.

“Uh Kim, this is Nate, he’s an American too.”

Kim jumped as if stung by a bee. She grabbed her tee-shirt and held it up like a towel and glared at Melanie. Nate was not really straining not to look. When he saw Kim was shielded by the shirt, he glanced quickly and flashed his dopiest smile and apologized.

“Mel! Have you ever heard of knocking?” Kim hissed through her braces, barely acknowledging Nate.

She was stunning, pale porcilan white skine with full red lips and insanely green eyes. Kim was a little taller than Melanie, without the sharp edges. Kim was a little edgier too, with a stud in her nose and a little black choker; kind of goth lite. She was rail thin but she didn’t have that same outdoorsy runner look. Nate caught himself. She was obviously too young for him to be thinking about, but hell nobody ever went to jail for looking. Besides the only women he had seen for the last three months were streetwalkers and worn out farmers wives.

“Your friend told me that you guys got separated from you group and had a rough go of escaping. I tell you what, you both must be pretty cool customers to have made it out on your own through that sh- stuff. How are you guys holding up, how long has it been since you ate?” Nate wanted to distract the girls from the present situation. If he was going to be babysitting a couple of kids to Malaysia, it would be a long trip if they were panic stricken wrecks. After the war, he had been assigned to an anti-terrorism station in the Philippines. His job there had been to recruit informants within the burgeoning Moslem population. He could be very calm and persuasive when he wanted to be.

“I’ll speak with the ships mate, he speaks Spanish, and I’ll see if I cannot wrangle up something to eat. Then we can go up on deck and swap war stories. We should be pulling out soon.” He didn’t mention that the reason the ship was leaving early was that there was a rumor that the local version of a Navy was in on the revolution, and there was talk of hijacking merchant vessels. As he started to walk away he noticed that their room didn’t have any furnishings beyond a coupe of crates. He had at least rated a chair and a low Asian style bed.

Nate wandered around until he found the ships mate and asked him about food for the passengers. He was led to the galley and given a cardboard box containing a kettle of fish soup, a bowel of steamed rice, and three wooden spoons. The cook said something obviously unfriendly in Malaysian, to which Nate said thank you. He carried the box back towards their cabin, as he paused at their door to knock he heard crying from within. He could not make out what they were saying through the ships steel door so he knocked loudly and said he had food and would be on deck.

The ship was underway. They had just cleared the bay and were turning into open water when he came up. Nate picked a nice spot on the aft deck and spread out a towel. The ship was enormous but the portion that they had access to was actually fairly small. In a moment the girls came up and found him setting out the food. Melanie was wearing the same thing he had seen her in earlier but without the hat. Kim was wearing a pair of short denim shorts and a tee-shirt. She also had on a pair of wire rimmed glasses, and had colored rubber bands in her braces. Nate realized how nice they both looked in the afternoon sun. Nate chuckled inwardly, if he didn’t quit looking at them, there was going to have to be midnight meeting between the little CEO and the five members of the board once he was alone in his room again.

They made small talk while they ate and the girls told their story. As was his habit, Nate chatted a lot but said little, preferring to draw information out of who ever he was talking to. They were part of a group of missionaries seeking to provide housing for poor heathens while dispensing biblical BS. The group was composed of high school kids and councilors from the churches leadership. Both girls had been traveling alone with the group, the only representatives of their congregations.

He had missed badly on the girls ages. Melanie, whom he now called Mel, was a seventeen year old soon to be senior. Mel was on the cross country team and was an early bloomer. She blushed when he told her he had thought she was twenty. Kim was a fourteen year old high school freshmen. She was a high achiever and was trying to pad her college applications. Her father was a big wheel with in the church and had pulled strings to get her on the trip. Great, a preacher’s kid, Nate thought.

Fourteen and seventeen, well that tears it Nate thought.. “I don’t suppose either one of you has anything to read do you?” Nate asked during a lull in the conversation. “I lost most of my stuff during the riot, I only have my carry on bag and I don’t even have an old newspaper.” He continued.

“No we don’t either; we never got back to the hotel after we lost the group.” Kim said, “All we have are the clothes we were wearing. I had a backpack that had a few things in it but nothing to read. Sorry.”

“I might have a Vogue in my purse” Mel volunteered. “If I find it, Ill let you have it.”

“No biggie guys. Look, it’s getting late, and its been a long day, I think I’m gonna hit the sack. You guys know your way back down?” Nate asked. The island was no longer visible though some smoke could be seen rising into the orange sunset. What a fucking disaster, Nate thought. I hope those SOBs still pay me when I get back, he said to himself. He glanced at the girls; they too were looking at the rising plumes of smoke. Mel was biting her lip. Nate reached for her hand. She took his hand wordlessly, a tear visible on her chin in the fading sun. He felt Kim taking his other hand. Her face was lost in the shadows.

“Guys, no matter what, YOU made it, you are going home. Never forget that. It’s nobody’s fault that things went so bad there. The folks you left behind are probably already to the US embassy by now, the Marines will have them home two weeks ahead of us. As soon as we get to Singapore, I’ll get you guys in touch with you families. Think of the ‘guess what I did this summer’ stories you can tell at school this year.” Nate declared.

Both girls perked up a little at this. Nate left them on deck as he headed below.

There was no lock on the door, so Nate had propped a chair up against it and scattered a few empty Coke cans on the floor between his bed and the door. He had spent way too many nights abroad among uncertain company to start taking chances now. He organized the few things he had in his carry on bag. While rifling his bag he found a Playboy he had bought at LAX a month earlier and forgotten about. Sometimes it was better to be lucky than good. After reading for a few minutes (girls of the ACC, woo hoo), he undressed and turned out his light.

As he lay in bed his thoughts turned to his shipmates. Then his thoughts turned impure. Then his actions followed. Nate was in the midst of a nice Kim-Mel sandwich fantasy when he heard a noise at his door. He stopped masturbating mid stroke and listened. The chair he had propped against the door slid easily on the painted steel floor. A hand slipped between the door and the frame and moved the chair to one side. Nate silently folded back his blanket and readjusted himself. He watched as the shadow stepped through the door, carrying what looked like a short piece of pipe. Nate rolled quietly to one side and drew himself into a crouch. He closed one eye to protect his night vision from the light in the corridor. Training and instincts long forgotten welled up inside him like a cold sweat.

The shadowy intruder pushed the door closed plunging the room in near total darkness. The figure closed the door and moved towards his bed. In mid-stride, a clanging signaled the kicking of a can. Nate sprung on his night blind prey like a panther. With on hand he grabbed the pipe; he covered her face with the other hand and prepared to drive her head into the . . . Her? He realized instantly that it was one of the girls. The pipe was a rolled up magazine.

He immediately relaxed his grip and apologized. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people, especially at a time like this” His voice was harsher than he had meant. “Let me find the light switch” he added.

“No, she said, don’t, I just wanted to lay in here and talk a while. I cannot sleep on the floor in our room. We don’t even have a blanket. I’ll leave if you want.” She said.

“That’s ok,” he said to the girl in the dark. “I did not mean to jump you like that. I just spend a lot of time alone in foreign countries and I am skittish.” Nate said placing an arm over her shoulder. Until now he was not sure which of them it was, but to his surprise it was Kim. He decided leaving the light off was a good idea considering his erection, the Playboy, and the tanning oil on his hand.

“Here, lie here, I’ll grab myself a chair.” Nate said as he guided her to his bedroll.

“Please lay beside me; I don’t want you to sit in a chair. I mean, you can, I won’t mind. . . if you want to I mean.” She stammered.

Nate smiled to himself in the dark, remembering the hell of being fourteen. He laid down beside her being careful not to crowd her or invade her space. Kim would have none of it. Within minutes she had a (bare) leg thrown over his hip, and her hair tangled up in his face. Nate thought about his predicament for a moment. A brief moment, hell they were in international waters in a war zone and she did not even know his last name. He didn’t think anything would happen but what the hell, he’d see where it went.

The words poured out of her like a busted hydrant. She spoke of the adventure of the previous day, her school, her family, pretty much her whole fourteen year life story. Nate gathered quickly that she was a very mature independent girl who was bored with her childish ways. She swore comfortably. She spoke of sex and music and whatever crossed her mind. She was more frank and worldly than a lot of thirty year olds.

Nate told her the much abbreviated version of his life story. He left little out, though he did not elaborate on the intel work in spite of her prying. He wasn’t trying to wow her but he knew what fifteen years of war, intrigue, and globe trotting must seem like to a bright girl trapped in suburbia.

When she kissed him it was like stepping out of an elevator into a hurricane. She threw her leg over him and kissed him with her teeth, tongue. . .she kissed with her whole body. He noticed that she had a tongue stud to go with the braces. Before he could come up for air she had climbed on top of him, straddling him with her knees drawn up high to his ribs and her hips in the air. Her hands sought out his hands and clutched him like a live wire.

Nate managed to work one hand free and found her thigh just above her knee. As he slid his hand up her leg, her kissing became frenzied. His hand caressed up her leg to her butt, her panties, her tee-shirt, her back (no bra strap), her neck, until his fingers wound up a fist full of thick fragrant red hair. He gently pulled her head back, breaking the kiss.

She was breathing heavily into his face. Now that his eyes were adjusted to the small safety light over the door, and the moonlight through the porthole he gazed at her. She was magnificent; her lips were parted and flushed. He could see the tip of her tongue playing with her top braces. Her eyes were glazed and her hair was a wild, tangled mane.

“Kim, honey, do you know where are you going with this?” Nate asked, wanting to give her opportunity to back down.

“I want you, please, I’m not going to beg, but I need you. I am not a virgin, I know what I’m doing, just please let me. I have been on this island with these idiot preachers for a month. I am dying. Take me, please.” She then leaned back down and kissed him again. Her free hand worked its way between them seeking him. Nate rolled her to one side to give her hand room. She grasped his hardness and squeezed a little too firmly. Nate drew in a depth breath between her teeth that Kim mistook for pleasure so she squeezed him again. She may not have been a virgin but she was not exactly an expert with the male equipment.

Nate decided to distract her. He slid his hand down her back and found the waistband of her simple cotton panties. He slipped his hand along the smooth bare skin of her ass. He cupped half of it with one hand. With some dexterity and a little squirming he pulled the panties down to her knees, at which point she pulled her leg up and kicked them off.

Nate rolled her to her back and began kissing her ears and neck. Her hair was incredible. He whispered compliments and encouragements into her ears as he nibbled and nuzzled her.

She was now stroking him with her right hand and doing a little better job with some gentle direction from Nate. She had helped him remove his underwear the same way he had helped her's. He slid his hand down her soft tight little belly to her vagina. He stroked her gently, searching for the folds through the thin wispy hairs. She opened herself to him. She took her hand away from him and guided his hand with hers. She opened her legs and began to stroke herself, mindless of his presence. Nate reached behind him to his carryon bag and found his keychain. He never took his eyes off of her and began kissing her again. He found the small LED flashlight he carried and turned it on, leaving it in the open bag. It lit the room with a gentle green glow. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and he didn’t want to miss a thing.

Kim stroked lightly with her left middle finger while she slipped her right middle finger in and out. Her braces and teeth were bared. Her eyes were squeezed shut. Her breath was shallow and rough, rasping through her teeth.

Nate lay to her right propped on his side, his head on his hand. He slid his hand up her tummy under her shirt to her breast. She had a little hoop in her belly button. She gasped when rough skin of his palm glided lightly over her hard little nipples. He palmed her tiny breast. They were shaped perfectly, just miniature. He pulled her shirt up to expose her breasts and began kissing them, gently at first but with more insistence as her orgasm built. She was plunging into herself now and he joined his hand with hers. She grasped his hand and pushed it into her heat. He could feel the thick wetness on her hand as he found her open up to his fingers. He slipped his ring and middle finger in together and found no resistance. Her hot wet little hands found his rigid cock again. This time he was too hard to notice her inexperienced frantic squeezing and stroking.

He circled the tip of his middle finger around the little cone of her cervix. She sucked breath in through her teeth and arched her hips into him off of the bed. He turned his hand so his fingers curled up and began stroking the roof of her vagina at the root of her clitoris. She began to groan. Kim dug the nails of both hands into the back of his wrist as the volume of her whimpering increased. As her climax reached its peak, he covered her mouth with his own and kissed into her cries. She locked her legs around his hand and stifled his stroking as she finally came. Her orgasm lasted nearly a minute.

She relaxed and her breathing became more even as Nate lightly traced little circles around her clit with his fingers. Kim rolled her head to him and opened her eyes. He told her she was beautiful which was true. As his hand migrated up her abdomen to her breast he could feel her little heart pounding, skipping beats and racing like a wild thing.

“I still want you inside me.” She said as she leveled her gave at him. She let her legs fall open again and reached for him. She grabbed him and pulled him to her trying to guide him in. Nate was still slick from earlier and as he poised above her she arched her pelvis towards him. He entered her like an old familiar lover, sliding all the way into her wet heat on the first slow stroke.

Nate watched her and set his pace based on her response. She was tight all the way down and he had to concentrate on holding back. He held his weight off of her with his arms, which gave him a great view of her body. Through her beauty and raw sexuality, he realized just how tiny and thin she was. At some point she had removed her shirt and was now nude in the green light. Her pale skin was set off by the faint tan lines from a tank top and shorts. Her small breasts lay flat against her chest and bounced in time with his thrust. He had sat up with his knees on either side of her hips and her feet over his left shoulder.

Her breathing became hurried and rough again as he picked up the tempo and jarred her whole body with each thrust, causing her cheeks and breasts to shudder. Kim dug her nails into his hips and started talking to him in a choppy whisper.

“Oh God. Oh, yes, fuck. Yes. Oh fuck.” She kept up the senseless banter as Nate closed his eyes and let a million years of instincts take over. His pace became more frantic and she became less coherent. Finally as her chatter became moans and wails he brought his weight down on her chest and crushed her lips with his mouth. He slowed his tempo and hammered himself into her as he took her in his arms.

Her cries became an intense little whine as she clutched him in her arms, drawing him down. He could not take any more. With a growl, he pulled away from the kiss and look at her eyes. She was silent as he came, staring back at him. He heaved and ground himself back into her as he released. Once, twice, Kim lost count as he spasmed inside of her. Her own orgasm washed over her like a wave breaking. She wrapped her thin little legs around his hips and buried her face in his chest and clung to him as he collapsed onto her.

Nate rolled to one side pulling her over on top of him. They lay together quietly for a half hour as Nate collected his thoughts. Well hell, he thought, now you’ve done it. As he looked at her face as she dozed, he realized he had no regrets. It was good thing the Army had been so willing to spring for vasectomies though, at least he would not have to worry about a pissed off preacher with a shotgun. He was a lucky guy; things always seemed to work out for him. He closed his eyes and pulled a sheet over the two of them. A very lucky guy, he thought as sleep took him.

At that exact moment a dark figure cut through the dark waters less then a half mile from the freighter. A dozen black clad men crowded the deck closest to their prey. They clutched their weapons in silence as their vessel drew near, unseen.

Stay tuned for part two.


2006-07-24 00:52:07
Superb. Here's why: interesting, realized characters; unique situation; actual story; real attention to syntax, grammar, spelling, and style. Not to sound like a girl ;), but I liked that there was a real story here. (Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy the quicky fuk-n-suk tales, too, but every so often you want a story with some meat to it.)

Take all criticism seriously, but remember that many people who see this story negatively do so because they're looking for something very different. Don't take their comments so personally. You're doing one sort of story and they appreciate another. Neither side is wrong (although bad grammar sure is atrocious -- shame it's the majority).

I enjoyed the story. I appreciate the extra time that went into crafting it. It brings the eroticism into finer relief.


2006-07-13 22:07:01
Take some of your own advise you been putting on the forum to some young writer and apply it to your own Just had to check out one of you stories. You are all that good of a writer Sorry friend


2006-07-12 11:58:32
Good first part, dont listen to all the negative crits. 10/10


2006-07-06 07:54:28


2006-06-05 11:34:54
waiting for your critique of Nicolette 3.

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