A Farmer had a dilemma. His roosters had all died off and his henhouse needed roosters for mating. He was certainly in a pickle and couldn't find any in his neck of the woods to buy.
His neighbor stopped by to chat and the conversation led to his problem. "I tell ya Joe, I don't know where I'm going to find enough roosters to service all of my chickens."
Joe could easily solve that for him, "Tell ya what Ben, I got a rooster that can service every one of your chickens."
Ben laughed at his neighbor’s bragging and said, "I seriously doubt that Joe, I've got a hundred chickens. It's going to take more than one."
Joe re-assured him, "I'm tellin' ya man, this rooster will take on everything ya got."
Ben really had his reservations but wasn’t about to call the man a liar. "Ok, let’s say you do have a rooster that can service everything I got; what would you be askin' for it?" he asked.
"$300.00 and he's yours." Joe replied with pride.
"Are you crazy? There ain't no rooster worth no $300!" Ben exclaimed, looking at his neighbor in disbelief.
Joe blew him off with a hand, "I'm tellin' ya, he'll take care of everything you got and you know it'd be worth a measly 300 for that!" he retorted.
Ben scratched his head and said, "Ok, tell ya what. You bring me that rooster and I'll give ya 300. But if he doesn’t service everything I got, I'll be lookin' ya up for my money."
"You got a deal neighbor!" Joe replied, and headed off in total confidence to bring him that rooster.
Well, Ben got his rooster and stood outside the henhouse with him. He commenced to give that fowl a pep talk, "Alright, there's a hundred hen in there. Take your time, go easy, and don't overdo it” he coached, “and you should have them all taken care of in a few days.”
With that, he opened the cage door and let the rooster in. Ben saw the rooster hit the first hen and get to work. With a satisfied smile, he headed back in for lunch. After he did his dishes, he thought he would go out and check on the rooster's progress.
None of the hens were in the yard so they had to be in the henhouse. He looked in and found no rooster but all of the hens were nesting. That was a good sign and his mind eased a little.
Stepping back out of the cage, he looked down the road and thought he saw his rooster. Sure enough, he was in the bushes servicing the pheasants!
"What the... I told you to take it easy!” he yelled, running towards the action, “You're gonna kill yourself and I ain't goin' to own you one day!" he chastised, trying to pry the rooster away from a wildly flapping pheasant. He finally shooed the feathered rape victim off and the rooster headed behind the house.
Ben shook his head and set to work on his farm until dinner time. He passed the pond on the way to the house and heard a commotion. There was the rooster on the bank servicing the ducks there. ‘God! He dang sure is goin’ to kill himself!’ he thought and headed inside for supper, giving up on talking any sense into him.
After supper, he checked on the rooster one more time. His neighbor said the rooster would service everything he had and it was sure looking true to him. The rooster was still at the pond but this time, he was servicing the geese there. He was one worried farmer over one horny rooster, just knowing that $300 bird was going to have a heart attack or something.
He went to bed that night with a weary mind and woke up the next morning and made breakfast. He sat at the table and sipped on his coffee, thinking about his neighbors words. His eyes wandered out the window and thought he saw his rooster keeled over in the crop field. Fearing the worst, he headed outside to get a better look. The closer he got, the worse it looked.
Sure enough, his rooster was lying with his feet pointing in the air and his tongue hanging out of the side of his beak. Even worse, the buzzards were circling above him.
“Gall dang it all! I warned ya! I warned ya! Dag nab it!” Ben yelled, throwing his hat to the ground.
The rooster opened one eye to look at him and whispered, “Shhhhh! Them buzzards are gettin’ closer!”