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Hey everyone ive been reading alot on this site for a long time this is my first attempt at a story this is just the introduction part of the body of the story i hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcome! hope you enjoy!!!


Chapter 1
James Thompson was ordinary in every way he was average looking, average height, very few friends and was an only child being raised by a single mother, that hadn't always been the case he had been part of a family of 5 two older brothers and a loving father but his older brothers were dead and his father is in a penal colony awaiting execution this is the result of a struggle for independence from the C.C.U.S.A, the communist comity of the United States of America. His brothers were killed in combat outside of new york where he lived. The resistance were going on the offensive but his brothers' unit was ambushed by the communist troops they never had a chance, his father was soon taken into custody and their home seized. His father had pro democracy fliers hidden in his study so he was sentenced to die in 3 months time. James was laying in his room listening to some foreign metal music this was of course outlawed by the rules of the ccusa but even as tight as restrictions were there were ways to get banned things into country his best friend David had sources outside the country where he could het a flash drive smuggled across the democratic confederation of Canada’s border. The guitar solo was about to hit when his mother Sara cracked open the door with a look of concern on her face so he took his headphones off and waited. "The checkers are here" she said with a whisper. He was used to this so he hopped out of bed and stashed his ipod behind the baseboard by bed and pushed it hard so it was a seamless fit, he then hurried out of the room and stood on his assigned spot in his living room which was two blue footprints on the hard wood floor. The checkers were people who were ardent communists and who had proved themselves by informing on their neighbors and sometimes their families. There were always two of them and they always dressed in the civilian version of the ccusa's military uniform black turtle neck shirt with the hammer and sickle on the right side black overcoat black pants and black shoes shined to a mirror finish. These men were not to be played with because if you did you would be lucky if they decided to waste a bullet on you. "Ms. Sara Thompson i presume?" The first one through the door asked. "Yes comrade" Sara said a little too slowly for the big man so he fixed her with a hard look and stated "I’m not comrade of yours traitor" after that he whipped out a baton and blasted Sara across the shins with it, it instantly tore the flesh from her shin bone and caused her to crumble to the floor all james could do is look down at the marks on the floor where his feet were, as the beating continued the second checker went into his room and began to search for banned items, about 25 minutes later James’ legs were starting to ache from standing for so long his mothers beating lasted for about 15 of those minutes the second man who was as musclular as the first one but about a head shorter returned said something to the first checker that james could not hear then the first man addressed his mother. “whose room was that?” he said with mock curiosity he already knew but wanted to play a guessing game. “mine” sara said. The first man chuckled he knew about the assigned rooms he knew about the bugs and the wiretaps he knew everything that was going on except what was hidden there.
“I see” he said the second man had moved by James and threw such a hard punch he never saw it coming. The room went black for a moment and his eyes flashed with stars as the pain seared across his face and his head he must have lost consciousness because he didn’t feel anything until they had gone and his mother looked over him with concern, “come on lets get you cleaned up” she said. Still groggy he headed to the bathroom and as he entered the small room me looked in the mirror he was shocked by what he saw. His entire left eye was swollen shut and he was bleeding from his bottom lip his shirt was torn and there were bruises from baton strikes all over his body, he was in such intense pain he could barely stand it. His mothers gentile caress was hastened when she looked up at the clock and saw that it was almost 4:30 in the afternoon seeing this he asked “whats wrong mom?” she looked at him a bit wide eyed and said “they’re bringing a judgment team for the ipod I don’t know whats going to happen.” James was devastated having brought down such stress to his mother, morning two sons and soon a husband wasn’t enough she had to deal with an idiot son too? “why did I have to hold onto that stupid thing he thought to himself over and over his one good eye swelling with tears that were spilling over down his face not from the physical pain but for the pain he was feeling inside and the fear of what was going to come next.

5pm came and went and no one from the judgment team came 5:15 a knock came James had already been standing on the spots when the 5 man team walked in followed by 5 more guards. “Mrs Thompson I am inquisitor Clark Dunhill, I will be leading this inquiry.” He said plainly. Sara greeted him with a hello and then looked back down at her feet. “Mrs Thompson I am aware of the situation and I want to let you know that your son has been charged with treason and sedition.” At that James’ head snapped up in shock at the same time his mothers head looked at him her eyes filled with terror she knew what that meant immediate execution. “NO!” she screamed full of terror she threw her self onto the floor before the Inquisitor “ILL DO ANYTHING! PLEASE HES THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY JAMES AWAY FROM ME!” Inquisitor Dunhill looked amused at this and looked over at James face full of a smug self satisfied look. “anything could be a great deal of things Mrs Thompson, you do know what you just said right?” the inquisitor said “Yes I do, Ill do anything to protect my son” Sara said looking down at the floor. “Good get into your bedroom and lose your clothes” James watched in awe as his mother got up and looked at him the thing that disturbed him most about the whole thing was his mothers eyes, they were empty. As his mother crossed the threshold the Inquisitor flashed him a dangerous look and said “You, boy don’t you think about moving I want you to hear everything and think about what you’ve forced onto your lovely mother” after that he walked in after his prey and almost immediately after that he herd the screams and grunts start. For more than an hour the 10 men formed a line and james was forced to stand there and listen finally after then tenth man had come out zipped up his pants and stood by Inquisitor Dunhill he simply stated “was she as tight for you as she was for me Fitzpatrick?” the laughter that that caused after that comment was all he could stand, something deep inside of James’ mind snapped and the rage began to bubble up he felt it in every fiber of his being. “Evans you stay behind kill the boy and the whore” at that the group walked out ignoring the situation totally. The Metal door slammed behind him the man only known as Evans turned to the boy first and said “Why don’t you be a good boy come watch me fuck your mothers sweet cunt one more time you might even be able to lick her pussy juice off my cock before i slit your throat.” As Evans walked over to the boy James had heared none of it all he heard was the ringing of his own rage in his ears and something hot in his balled up fist when he felt the hand touch his should he opened up his hand and thrusted it into the mans stomach and blood and gore exploded out of his back Evans dropped onto the floor dead. James looked over at what he done with a mixture of fear and confusion but then he realized something very dire. He had just killed a member of CCUSA’s Judgment team when he didn’t come down stairs his group would come looking for him and then they would die anyway he needed to find a way out and fast.
Before he could think there was a pounding on the door and screaming for him to open up he was panicked and couldn’t think of what to do so he ran to his mothers room and wrapped the unconscious naked women up in her blanket and barricaded the door, as soon as he did this there was an explosion and he knew with a sick realization his time was up he was going to die this day. No sooner had this been said his mothers door was kicked in and a group dressed in black clothes rushed in grabbed him and threw a hood over his head, confused about what was going on he was about to protest but something sharp was jabbed into his neck and was soon feeling drowsy the last thing he could feel was being thrown roughly into something then a door slamming and an engine revving up.
6 comments

Anonymous readerReport

2014-01-09 02:26:25
into roleplaying? come to storytime.at.vu for the internets biggests story telling site!

anonymous readerReport

2013-03-10 20:05:14
Are you all kidding me? When did this become a lesson in writing and when did people that post on here have to be graded for their contributions? Instead of critisizing just read and move to the next story don't bring a person down for having the guts to post here. If you don't like it them move on

anonymous readerReport

2013-02-28 22:16:38
I gave you a negative for this one. You need to work on your detail and the story length. Don't be afraid to write and add paragraphs/grammar. Also watch what types you put on top, you only had a gang rape of males/ female.

anonymous readerReport

2013-02-28 00:38:25
Break-up your paragraphs, watch your spelling and you capitalize CCUSA in one place and don't in another (careful).
Yes, a bit more detail also helps the reader understand what's going on. Don't be afraid of expounding more.z

anonymous readerReport

2013-02-27 23:47:41
So overall it has some good potential. A few area's for improvement though. First is the formatting. Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable. The second thing that could be improved is detail. For something like this, a little back-story could be a great help.

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