Gender: Male Age: Secret Location: Rochester, N.Y.
|Introduction: Don't see how bestiality will be a factor in this one.|
I'd like to express my 'thanks' to whoever brought the average ratings for all my stories from nearly 95 to under 85 in less than a week. (Just before Christmas)
Considering the total number of votes that had already been cast on those stories, it took well over a thousand new votes to do what was done. And, since members are limited to only 10 votes per day, that means that, for some reason unknown to me, someone with access to this site's controls did it... making it an INSIDE JOB.
I'm not the first writer that this has happened to but when it happened before, (to other writers) it could have been anyone because there was no limit on vote casting. But, with the newer 10 vote limit, no one person (or even two or three) could have cast over a thousand votes and done what was done to all my stories in such a short frame of time.
A Mod told me that some people have many ID's but the site recognizes our internet server ID's when it comes to voting and still holds the voting limit to 10. I set up another ID and tried it to make sure.... so I was either lied to or dealing with someone who didn't know what he/she was talking about.
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Slippery Saddle Bum
A raggedy old woman and her scruffy, also senior citizen, Tom cat were foraging for anything of value along the torn up, storm damaged New Jersey beach. She picked something up out of the dirt and debris that looked like an extremely old metal oil lamp and when she gave it a wipe to rub some of the dirt off, smoke started boiling out of its flame spout. Nearly having a heart attack, the old woman dropped the lamp and more or less fell back and away from it… landing on her underfed and not too well padded butt. As the lamp lay on the ground, smoke continued pouring out into a cloud until, with a poof, the smoke was gone and there stood a strangely dressed man with a colorful scarf wrapped around his head and another one at his waist, wearing loose fitting pants and a blousy, loose sleeved shirt.
“FINALLY… I’M FREE!!” the man exclaimed. “AFTER OVER 6,000 YEARS, I’M OUT THAT DAMNED LAMP!!” he continued, sounding absolutely joyous.
Scrambling backward, the old woman is nearly pissing herself. Her old cat, his back arched and scraggly fur standing stiff, is also moving backward and hissing at the strangely dressed man.
The man finally calms down and explains to the scared old woman that he’s a Genie who’s been trapped in the lamp for over 6,000 years and the only reason he’s finally gotten out is because of her… because she’d rubbed the lamp that he was trapped in. He told her that he had to repay her for freeing him and would grant her three wishes. He told her to take her time and think about it before she made her wishes because she could have anything she wanted… ANYTHING in the whole wide World.
The old woman didn’t want to feel like a fool so she asked him to prove that he really was a Genie and could do anything. The Genie laughed, snapped his fingers and, though the rest of the world around them was a bright sunny day, a miniature lightning and thunder storm suddenly appeared over what used to be a shed, a few yards away from where they were. As she watched, mesmerized, she could see a torrential rain storm pounding down onto the shed and streams of runoff rain water coming out into the sunlight. She didn’t understand how it could be possible but after all that she’d seen, the old woman believed that the man had come out of the lamp and that he really was a Genie.
She asked him to give her a few more minutes to think about it before she told him what she’d chosen for her three wishes. His smile faded as he got a serious look on his face and said he’d be back in an hour… that he’d go see someone and take care of some old business before that someone found out that he was out of the lamp. With a faint pop, he simply vanished.
When the Genie reappeared, an hour and two minutes later, he had an incredibly beautiful and sensuous woman with him. She was wearing what looked like the latest in very expensive clothing fashions but was clinging to the Genie and crying, saying that she’d missed him so badly and thought she was never going to see him again. As he gently held her, he told her that nothing and no one would ever separate them again. Then, indicating the old woman, he told her that he had to fulfill a promise that he’d made to her before they moved on. The woman nodded and stepped away as the Genie turned to the old woman and said, “Sorry I’m a couple of minutes late. I met some resistance but there’ll never be another Genie locked up in a lamp.” As he finished brushing himself off and rearranging his clothing, he took a deep breath and asked, “Have you decided what your three wishes will be?”
The old lady was standing, now, and, as she looked at him, she said, “I think I have. For my first wish, I want a bank savings account with a Billion dollars in it and I want all the taxes to have already been paid.”
The Genie smiled, snapped his fingers and there was a small zap as a Savings acct. pass book appeared in his hand. He handed it to her and said, “You should have asked for Gold. If I were you, I’d take that money and buy Gold because the money of this realm is barely worth the paper it’s printed on. No matter what the thieves in government do, Gold will always be Gold.”
The old woman took the Chase passbook and opened it. Inside, she saw her name, the account number, and, under account transactions, she saw today’s date showing a deposit and balance of $1,000,000,000.00. . . . “Wowww!!” she murmured in awe, when she saw all those zeros.
It’s all there and it’s yours, the Genie said, giving her a benevolent smile. Now, what what’s your next wish?”
The old woman said, “That’s simple. Now that I have all this money, who wants to be old and sickly and look like I do? I want to be young, healthy and beautiful again… just like when I was nineteen and all the handsome men were after me.”
The Genie grinned, nodded and then snapped his fingers and “ZAP!!”… there was a sharp crack, followed by a distant sound of rolling thunder while a huge puff of gray and white smoke moved up from below and surrounded the old woman. When the smoke whooshed away and vanished, a few seconds later, a very beautiful young woman stood where the old woman had just stood. The apparently surprised young woman slowly stood up straighter and looked down at herself. When she saw that her hands and arms were soft and supple… no longer the dry, withered and calloused hands of the old woman who’d just rubbed dirt off of the lamp, she smiled a beautiful smile. “I really am young again!! I even feel like I did when I was young. Oh, thank you. Thank you so very much.” she said to the Genie, as her eyes filled with tears. Her voice even sounded different… younger, much more feminine and melodious.
The Genie said, “This is nothing, compared to what you did for me, my dear. I spent over 6000 years all alone in that lamp. Today was a lucky day for me that you found that lamp and rubbed it because the Genie who put me in it and then force bonded with my mate intended for me to be in there for eternity." Then he smiled at her and said, "You still have one more wish. What will it be?”
The beautiful young woman wiped the tears from her eyes, pointed over at her old cat and said, “You see Tom over there?... that scraggly old cat? I've had him all his life and he’s my best friend. I want you to transform him into one of the World’s handsomest, most sexy men and I want us to love each other and be as inseparable as we are now until the day we die.”
The Genie’s fingers snapped and “ZAAAANG!!!” Sparks flew, lightning flashed, thunder sounded and smoke billowed up around the mangy old cat. It hung there for several seconds as the beautiful young woman stood there waiting expectantly to see her new partner. Then WHOOSH!!! The smoke swept away, leaving a tall, dark haired and smiling, extraordinarily handsome man. His eyes immediately locked onto the young woman and his longing for her was obvious.
The Genie said, “That was your third wish. Now I’m going to give you an extra gift but also a warning. The gift is a thousand years of life for each of you. The warning is that you’ll need to remember to move to another part of this World every few years because the race that populates this one… your race… is very superstitious and jealous. They won’t leave you alone when they see you stay young and keep living while they get old, sick and die.
The once again young old woman said, “We understand. We’ll move to a new place every ten or fifteen years… whenever people start noticing that we aren’t aging.” She couldn’t take her eyes off of the handsome young man who used to be her cat… who was looking at her the same way… like he wanted to take her in his arms and love her forever.
The Genie said, “That’s good. Then they won’t have a chance to confirm that you’re really not getting older. . . . We’re going to go now but, before we go, I want to thank you again for freeing me from that lamp and allowing me to free my wife. You two enjoy your long lives and be happy with each other. Good bye.”
And, with that, the Genie and his incredibly beautiful woman vanished into thin air.
The beautiful young woman and the extraordinarily handsome young man stepped into each other’s arms and kissed for the first time. The kiss was so intense that the young woman nearly swooned but that one kiss just wasn’t enough. They re-wrapped their arms around each other, pulling feverishly at each other as their kisses ran one into the next... their breaths coming in short gasps. “Ohhh, Tom.” The young woman finally cried out. This is the best day of my life. . . . And we have a thousand years, just like today, ahead of us.”
For the first time, Tom spoke but there was a note of irony in his voice as he said, “Yes, my love. A thousand years, just like today, but tell me one thing. Aren’t you sorry, now, that you took me to the vet when I was a kitten?”
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