Met someone in the coffee shop downtown today, I didn't know her name but she looked like someone I pictured myself wanting to be with.
I looked at her and smiled, she smiled back, I decided to take a chance and went over and said hello and asked if I could sit and talk
with her. She said it was OK and we made small talk, I was too shy and nervous to ask her out, but really wanted to.
When she said she had to go, I said goodbye and wondered what she would have said if I asked her out, and wondered for that matter if I
would ever see her again ?
A week later a saw her again while on the city bus, and decided to wait til she got off, when she did, I looked to she where she lived
and went a block up the street before pulling the cord and getting off the bus.
I was feeling a little nervous but thought if I didn't at least take a chance, then I would never know. So I walked over to her apartment
building, looked for her name on the box, then went to her door and knocked.
When she answered the door she was a little surprised, but told her I just happened to see her come into the builing from the bus and
thought it would be Ok if I came by and talked. She said it was OK but said she had to get ready for work.
I sat down and waited as she took a shower. When she got done and was drying off, the phone rang, she came out in a towel to answer the
phone but her towl wasn't big enough to cover her whole body, so she came out of the bathroom with the towel just covering her bottom half.
Man did she have beautiful breasts I thought, she was a cute redhead, and her breasts were just beautiful to me.
I was getting hard but tryed to be nice and turned away. After she got dressed, she said she was going to work, so I left.
I was with a friend of mine getting a bit at the coffee shop a few weeks later when I noticed she came in. I asked her to sit with us, and she did.
I noticed that she was looking at my friend the way I was looking at her when I first saw her.
Anyway we all went back to her place. I didn't hear either one of them talking about wanting to go out or anything, as I sat watching the T.V..
They just got in bed together behind me. She was a virgin to, never had one of those, still haven't.
Looking at her, wanting my friend, and having him, I just sat there like a dumbass. At some point during there love making, she turned to
look at me when I got up and looked at her. She could tell I was sad that it wasn't me as I gave her that look, then feeling really sad about the whole situation, I
opened the door, looked at her and my friend as they continued to make love, she looked at me as I gave her a look of my own disapointment, then
closed the door and left.
Today my landlord wanted to take me out to a bar he went to all the time, which I never went to. Well tonight I met some people that I wouldn't
think I'd meet again, but did.
They were a nice couple. About a week later, my landlord picked me up and we went over to there place along with some other friends of theirs
and we were all getting high and drunk and really having a fun time. After awhile, couples were useing their bedroom to go fuck.
Couples that were not even a couple to begin with, went into the bedroom, I felt left out.
Much later, at 4 or 4:30 in the morning, my landlord noticed that his friends husband was passed out on the couch and decided to give his friends
wife a back rub, then not ten minutes later, was fucking her.
I just felt like killing myself, I'm not at all attractive, but I'm not ugly either, alot of people I've met, just said I was cute, but that it.
I was surrounded by all these people fucking each other, and me feeling horny didn't help.
After that night, I decided to go to church from then on and tryed to surpress my urges. One day, I saw a neighbor of mine that lived in the
next room next to mine, coming home druck and with an older lady of 60.
As I sat reading by book in the livingroom when no sooner did I hear them going at it. I couldn't read after hearing that and was sad that I couldn't
even pick up someone older than me before.
I guess you at least have to be good looking or have a bigger cock than 5 inches or both to get anyone. So with that in mind, even though I still
went to church, fell into depression. Some people at work had said that I would find someone someday, yet my manager told me he never had that
problem, women come over his apartment all the time to ball. I told him thanks, hearing that made me feel so much better...not.
Had the oppertunity to go to a party and someone wanted to go out with me, and I was thrilled. When we got back to my place we were kissing and
and caressing one another til I felt something that made my hard on go away...balls, the thrill was gone.
Came home to visit mom and dad. Dad was downstairs in one room laying on a bed watching T.V., dad didn't get up at anytime to go shower or even
go to the bathroom, his leg was cut off from the knee due to his diabetes, and being twelve years older than my mom at 72 didn't help him have
Later that night when I went to bed, I heard mom coming up the stairs and got up and noticed that she was going to sleep in her clothes. From the doorway
I asked her why she wasn't putting on her nightgown. She told me it was too much of a bother and that she thought there was no use in wearing
it anymore anyway.
I went back and layed down thinking about how my mother used to get sex every night and now...nothing.
I felt like going in there and asking her if I could sleep with her and that she should put on her nightgown, if so I would of closed the door
and gave her a good balling that she hasn't had in some time. But just laid in bed thinking about it, then went to sleep.