Gender: Male Age: Secret Location: N/A
|Introduction: Don't read this while stoned. Seriously, it will kill you.|
I figured out the format problem. You have to upload a story, set it edit, come back, and remove the weird A's. Let's hope they stay out when I publish!
Victoria was hovering in darkness, completely numb to all her senses and unable to form a single thought. She was wearing only her nightgown, but felt neither hot nor cold.
“What are your feelings for me?” She heard a familiar voice ask, clearing her mind and causing her eyes to bolt open. Hovering twenty feet away was Jack, smiling calmly and confidently as usual.
“Jack…? Am I dreaming?” She whispered.
“Whether you are or aren’t, does it matter? I told you before that half of reality is how you interpret events and situations. If that is true, then is this world no more or no less real than the reality you think it differs from? You are aware, you are thinking, and this will affect you deeply, so even if this is a dream, does that not make this reality?” He asked. Victoria’s body began to shake as each word he spoke shot deep into her mind like the sound of a hypersonic whistle to a dog.
“Are you the real Jack?” She asked. The apparition only laughed.
“Again, perception is everything. There is no “the real Jack”, there is only Jack, the varying Jack for each and every person the he encounters. There is no single Jack, for to every person that perceives him, he is a completely new Jack, unique to the Jack that all others perceive. It is the same way for you; there is no one singular Victoria. Instead, there is an uncountable series of Victorias, limited only by the number of existences that can be aware of her, affect her, and are affected by her. The Victoria that you believe yourself to be is the not the Victoria that I believe you to be. Just like how no two people see the exact same rainbow, no one perceives someone the exact same way as someone else, meaning that there is no true form of that person.” He explained.
“Stop it! Just answer the question!” Victoria demanded.
“Tell me, how do you know that you are real?” He asked. The sudden shift in the direction of questions surprised Victoria.
“What are you talking about?” She asked.
“You know that whole cliché about whether or not someone’s existence isn’t just part of a story or even a figment of someone else’s imagination? What if it is true in some form of fashion? Right now you are bewildered, confused, desperate for answers, and unsure of what is going on. What if the only reason you are experiencing these things because I am projecting them onto you? Admit it, at this current moment, you aren’t sure what is real or not. So what is to say that you yourself aren’t real? You believe me to be the projection of what you interpret as Jack Own while you sleep, but is it not possible that you are in fact the projection of what I interpret as Victoria Ellie?” He offered.
“That’s ridiculous, I know who I am!” She shouted.
“And I know who I am. However, the question is which of us was programmed to say that by the consciousness that created this dream? How do you know that you are not really a part of my dream, a manifestation of my subconscious that is programmed like a computer to feel whatever I want you to feel? How do you know I am not dreaming and the confusion you feel is not an effort on my behalf to make you more realistic as a manifestation?” He asked.
Jack chuckled and then floated over to her. With inches between them, they stared deep into each other’s eyes, Jack into her trembling blues and Victoria into his unreadable greys. Raising his hand, he brushed the side of her face with his fingertips.
“How do you know that you didn’t just experience that sensation because I wanted you to experience it? When I touched you, it created a biological and psychological reaction. But how do you know I didn’t just create those reactions out of nothingness? Think of a memory, any memory. If you are merely a figment of MY dream, is it not possible that I am the one who created that memory for you, as well as your feelings about it and the impact of my words while you examine it?
Now what will really make you spin is the possibility that neither of us is the true creator of this dream, but we are both figments of the mind of the dreamer. Every word, every thought, every movement, all nothing more than lines of a script with us as robotic actors, programmed to do exactly what we are doing and existing only in this one realm.” He said. Victoria didn’t reply, she was taking slow shallow breaths and trembling all over, unable to break eye contact.
“From this point, what can you consider real? We’ve established that one or both of us is just a figment of someone’s imagination, but what is it that makes you think this is a dream? If the scenery were instead the main hall of the school instead of a black backdrop, with the two of us surrounded by fellow students that were all talking in conversations of individual topics, while outside the building, the weather was partly cloudy at say 33º, would you believe it was real or a dream? And if you wondered if it was a dream, are you sure that you aren’t supposed to, as programmed by the creator of this dream?” He asked.
At the mentioned scenario, the scenery changed to match his description, becoming the main hall of their high school. Students walked by, talking to each other in legitimate conversations. Jenny’s clothes had even changed, her nightgown being switched with one of her usual outfits. It was just like any other day, right down to the smallest details.
“Everyone here, every person you see, has their own thoughts as created by the dreamer. The boy who walked past us is thinking about the upcoming episode of American Idol, the boy behind you leaning against the wall is wondering if his girlfriend is cheating on him. The girl twenty feet away to my back left is wishing she could be back at home in bed. All these people, regardless of whether or not they were created by a dreamer, are thinking, are aware, and are playing their roles. How can you be sure that you are not another figment of the dream, playing the role of Victoria Ellie, who is being questioned on existentialism by Jack Own, while feeling scared and confused, as well as experiencing an uncomfortable itch with her bra strap or developing soreness in her feet due to her shoes?
If you wake from this “dream”, how can you know that you aren’t just in another dream? From now on, no matter what you do, how can you be sure that you are not just playing a role as assigned by the dreamer, no different than the aspect of light reflection of the tiles beneath your feet?” He asked.
The scenery faded back to the black backdrop, and Victoria’s clothes returned to being her nightgown. Yet she refused to speak, feeling like her mind was destabilizing under the weight of his speech. She wasn’t ready, she had nothing to balance herself with, nothing to use as a vantage point. She wasn’t in the right state of mind to handle something like this.
Jack moved his hand to her chin, gently lifted it, leaned forward, and kissed her. Dream or not, Victoria trembled at the sensation of their lips touching and felt like this could even be called her first kiss. After almost a minute of their lips joining and separating like waves against beaches, Jack slowly pulled away from her. He leaned forward again, whispering into her ear while cupping her cheek.
“Did that influence you? Did that affect you? If this is a dream, when you wake up, will you panting and shaking as you replay that kiss in your mind over and over again? Meaning, that is what dictates what is real or not. Let’s say for instance this is a dream, and your physical self dies, causing the end of this dream and forever ceasing its existence. Does that mean the dream wasn’t real? If the earth explodes, that will destroy your physical self and forever cease its existence. Does that mean your physical self was never real? If a dream isn’t real, than is every plane of existence that can be destroyed through the loss of the dimension it occupies not real?
Let’s say that I am just a figment of this dream. Are my words having as much an effect on you as if the “real” me had said them?” He murmured, each breath causing her hair to flutter and sending waves of shivering warmth throughout her body.
“Yes.” She said softly, feeling like she was going to melt in his palm.
“Then doesn’t that make me real? If I have the same influence on you as the “real” Jack, then am I not the Jack you always perceive? When you talk to him, are you sure you are not merely talking to me, since I am what you interpret of him? After all, people always create meaning out of things that might not exist, but are you sure that is the case here? If I can touch you, kiss you, and shape your mind the way the “real” Jack would, then does that not make me real?” He suggested.
“Yes.” She murmured again, feeling her pussy beginning to moisten as her emotions were transformed into physical sensations. Jack leaned back and again stared into her eyes.
“Then tell me, what are your feelings for me?” He asked.
“I… I don’t know.” She whispered. Jack gently wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
“Yes you do, but you don’t want to say them because you are afraid of what they mean. You are afraid of how they will change you through speaking them and realizing them. Ignore your fears, ignore any thoughts of repercussions, ignore what you think I want to hear, ignore anything that’s holding you back, and just speak the words. I don’t care what they are, all that matters is that they are the truth in your heart. Say it, whatever it is, just say it.” He murmured.
“I like you.” She whispered, burying her face in his chest. Jack laughed softly.
“But you don’t love me? I must admit, it’s good that your feelings are taking time to develop, that’s the sign of a woman ready for adulthood. But what are the meaning of those words? Why were they so difficult to say? Forget the social meaning and forget the outside world. Just ask yourself why it was so hard to admit to liking or loving someone.” He continued.
“I don’t know, I thought I didn’t care, I thought I was happy, but I never realized how much of a hole it’s opened in my life! I’ve missed out on so much, all because of my irrational shyness! We could have been together before you left, everything could have been different and maybe you wouldn’t have needed to leave at all! I want to change, but I don’t know what to look for!” She cried in frustration, gripping his shirt while he brushed her hair.
“Think back Victoria. Why am I here? What did I say that affected you so strongly? Think back to the nurse’s office, think back to what it was that I said that shook you to your very core.”
“You said that I was afraid to love because I was afraid to depend on others. But I don’t know why that is, I don’t know why I’m so fearful. Tell me, please. I can’t be with anyone, even you, until I figure out what is wrong with me. I want to either be with you or go back the way things were before you showed me all this.” She said.
“I can’t answer that question for you.” Jack stated.
“Please, I’m begging you! You know me better than anyone else and yet we’ve only talked a few times! I’ve never met anyone like you before in my life, you’re the closest I’ve ever come to being in love! You can fix me, you can make me happy! You know the answer, please, I just want to be at peace and know myself!” She said, bursting into tears and crumbling like a destroyed building. Crouching down, Jack again wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
“I only know what I can glean from you, you must tell me the rest if you want me to help you unlock the secret. I am only your guide Victoria, you must walk this path towards enlightenment yourself. Find your Self, and you shall have your answer. I must go now.” He said softly in her ear before standing up.
“No, please don’t go! I’ve never felt this way before, I’ve never felt this way about someone! Don’t leave me, stay here with me! I’ll do anything if you stay!” She pleaded, not wanting to go back after discovering a whole new world. Jack just smiled.
“Don’t worry Victoria, we won’t be apart for long. After all, I’ll see you tomorrow in history class.” He said happily.
Victoria suddenly bolted awake in her bed, gasping for air and covered in sweat. What kind of dream was that?! Or… was it even a dream. Feeling her face, she wiped away mysterious tears, just like she had shed in her dream. In a mixture of laughing and crying in happiness, Victoria laid her head back down on her pillow. For the rest of the night, she played with herself tirelessly, finally having someone to fantasize about.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” Tyler demanded, pointing his finger at the apparition of Jack. Just like in Victoria’s dream, the two adolescents were hovering in pure darkness. No, not darkness… it was like there was a form of light in this empty space, a form that only they could reflect back off in the form of visibility.
“Consider this a follow-up session. I must apologize for before, I didn’t leave you in the most stable state of mind and the awakening process should not have been initiated so publically. I’m hoping that now, we can make some progress.”
“Are you real? Or are you just in my head?” He demanded, taking a step back in the null space.
“Of course I’m in your head, but does that make me any less real? Consider this, if something I say influences you here, then is the cause to that effect real? Regardless of where these words come from, shouldn’t the meaning of these words maintain a consistent value? We left off today uncovering your fear of losing control, have you mulled over that?” Jack asked.
“Shut up! Get out of here! I want to wake up, wake me up!” Tyler demanded. For once, Jack lost his smile, knowing the severity of the territory he was treading in.
“You’re fearful, not of losing control but of facing your fear of losing control. I’m assuming that what truly terrifies you is not losing control itself, but being in a specific situation in which you lost control. There was an event in your past in which something was taken from you, your sense of safety and security, something in which you experienced a fear and helplessness that you had never before encountered. Tyler, were you molested?” Jack asked. Sitting down on an invisible surface, Tyler sighed.
“Why should I tell you anything? I don’t even know you, I don’t even know if you’re real.”
“You should tell me because I can help you shed the disguise of a bully that you have put up to protect yourself. I can help you so that you can live in peace, because I believe you are doing more damage to yourself than others. Besides, if I don’t quite fit into your view of what is real and what isn’t, then is there any harm in saying it out loud? If I truly don’t exist, then can this not merely be considered self-reflection?” He suggested. Tyler took a deep breath.
“But if you’re just a part of this dream, then don’t you already know the answer?” He argued.
“Maybe I do and maybe I don’t, what matters is that you are able to vocalize and accept it.” Jack replied. Tyler gave another deep sigh and looked down at the nonexistent ground.
“It wasn’t me, it was my older sister. She took me to a movie on the night of my thirteenth birthday, and on the way back to her car, we were mugged. The bastards raped her and killed her right in front of me, and I wasn’t able to do anything. They stabbed me and left us both for dead, it was a miracle that I survived, but Elsa… I had to watch her torment with the knowledge that I was too powerless to help her.” He admitted.
“Then I was mistaken. You do not perform acts of cruelty to protect yourself from being powerless, you do it to replicate the men you hate so much.”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” Tyler shouted, getting up from the invisible surface that he had been sitting on and storming across the empty space towards Jack.
“I AM NOTHING LIKE THEM! IF YOU SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT, I WILL KILL YOU!” He roared, gripping Jack by the collar and holding him off his feet.
“You are filled with guilt, you loath yourself for being unable to save your sister, so you disassociate yourself from that perception of yourself. You become what you think will protect you from the pain, and in the search of that bastion within yourself, you wonder how the monsters that brutalized and killed your sister can do such a thing, the only answer of which being that they feel no guilt. And so you mirror them, even without being aware of it. You hate them and you hate yourself, so you punish yourself by becoming what you despise most, while using it to protect yourself from your guilt.
You create this identity of a bully, turning yourself into an effigy of the ones you hate, so that you have something to turn that hate on.” Jack said softly without fear in his eyes. With tears beginning to bud from his own eyes, Tyler pulled back his fist and punched Jack in the face as hard as he could, knocking loose a tooth and immediately bruising his cheek. Jack hit the nonexistent ground and slowly got up.
“Ever since our encounter, you’ve been terrified, but you have no idea of what. When there is nothing that man is afraid of, he becomes his own worst fear. You realized it when you first punched me, the pain you had been inflicting on others for no reason and for no enjoyment. You felt fear, fear of yourself and of what you had become. You saw yourself as the same men who tormented and killed your sister, and that terrified you, you were afraid of becoming as bad as them.” Jack explained.
Broken by Jack’s words, Tyler fell to his knees and began sobbing uncontrollably. It was all true, every word of it, and as each word played in his mind over and over again, he was assailed by waves of guilt for each and every violent act he had ever inflicted. He could see the faces of his victims, all the people who’s lives he had made difficult and unbearable, In their eyes he was finally able to see the same pain that he had been filled with.
“Do you want to be at peace? Both with yourself and with Elsa?” Jack asked.
“Y… yes…” He cried.
“Then you must gain the forgiveness of others and finally, and most importantly, forgive yourself. This won’t take place in one day, but if you are willing to be patient and see this through to the end, then all of your problems will disappear and be replaced with nirvana.” Jack said, walking past him.
“How the hell am I supposed to do that?! Don’t you think I’ve seen every shrink and therapist in this goddamn state?! Elsa’s death was my fault, I can never fix that, and I will never be able to overcome what that means. Even if I can get others to forgive me for the pain I inflicted on them, how can I forgive myself for the pain I wasn’t able to protect Elsa from?” He demanded.
“After you first hit me, you asked if it had hurt. Do you remember my reply?” Jack asked.
“You said that it did hurt, but the key was not minding that it hurt.” He said, trying to catch his breath and calm down.
“Then that is your clue. Goodnight Tyler Deck, sleep well, for tomorrow is the start of your new life.” Jack said before the dream shattered like glass.
Tyler bolted up in his bed, drenched in sweat and gasping for air. Realizing that he was back in his bed, he thought back through the entire conversation, remembering it with seldom-experienced clarity, even for the most vivid of dreams. Turning on his bedside lamp, he pulled out a small cash box from underneath his bed, dialed in the combination with shaky fingers, and opened it. Underneath rolls of bills and bags of pot, he drew an old photograph from half a century ago. It was of him and his sister at the movie theater, continuing to celebrate his birthday even after cake and presents back home. Looking at his sister’s face, Tyler put his hand over his face and cried until dawn.
Kelly panted and wiped the saliva and semen off her face once the stranger’s cock was removed from her mouth and throat. Her hands were sore from manually stimulating the other two men standing around her, and her anus and vagina were starting to ache from the prolonged double-penetration inflicted by the two men in front and behind her. She was in the man-cave basement of the second guy, this was her first gangbang, and she was making five hundred bucks off it. She had already been ejaculated into and onto a half dozen times, but her clients were remaining hard and fully loaded. They were certainly making her work for her money.
Once she had caught her breath, the fourth man, the one loitering in her pussy, suddenly pulled out and got up, wanting to get his dick sucked. With the quick removal, Kelly fell onto her hands and knees and the man behind her immediately took advantage of the granted mobility. Gripping her hips, he began moving his cock back and forth in her pussy, hammering her like an animal while using all the semen already dripping out of her anus as lubricant. Kelly moaned and yelped as she felt the man’s phallus punch the deepest corners of her ass with almost brutal speed and strength, while the other men all looked down and laughed at her while stroking themselves.
After a couple minutes of the ruthless sodomy, the man pulled out of her and she fell on her back, quickly assailed by another man forcing himself inside of her bruised cunt and being skull-fucked by the man who had just been fucking her asshole. She was completely numb to the taste, be it overexposure or just indifference. Once she had cleaned him off, he pulled his dick out of her mouth and the other man fucking her stood up while picking her up. Holding her upside down, he continued fucking her while she struggled to hold her face off the soaked carpet.
“Hey, someone hold her up.” One of the men grunted, getting an idea by seeing Kelly upside down.
Answering the request was the first man of the group, who grabbed Kelly and held her off the floor while the man who had been fucking her pulled out. The man who had made the request stepped up to her and forced his dick into her mouth and throat. Holding her head still, he began skull-fucking her with indifferent cruelty, while the man holding her up left the job to one arm so that he could finger her pussy and anus. While she sucked her client off, her face was covered with a bubbling froth of semen and saliva, practically pouring down his mouth. With the head of his cock beating the back of her throat and her body upside down, Kelly only lasted a minute before she finally threw up, spraying the man’s crotch and forming a puddle of vomit below her.
“Ah man, this is one nasty bitch!” One guy laughed while Kelly was dropped face down into the puddle.
“Damn bitch! She threw up all over me!” The man yelled.
Wanting revenge, he rolled her over onto her back and got on top of her, forcing his slime-covered cock into her pummeled cunt. Smacking her face while he moved, the man thrust into her over and over again, cursing her while all his friends laughed.
“Yo, let me in on the action!” One of his friends yelled.
Deciding to indulge him, the man fucking Kelly rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him without pulling out. Taking advantage of the opportunity, the heckler mounted her from behind, sodomizing her with brutal speed and power. Once again getting double-penetrated, Kelly began moaning and whimpering with the man beneath her bucking his hips and the man behind her humping her like a Rottweiler.
“Come on guys, get the fuck off her, we want to finish!” One of the guys barked.
Reluctantly, the two men using her pulled out, one of them grabbing her by the hair and dragging Kelly up onto her knees. Trembling all over and covered in biological slime, Kelly retook her role and began sucking off the first man who came close, while using her hands to jack off the next two guys in reach. After thirty seconds, she changed the position as to who she was stroking and sucking, then worked for another thirty seconds, all while the two guys left alone in each rotation would jack off. Finally, after three full rotations, all the men crowded around her and began to grunt like animals. Knowing what was coming, Kelly opened her mouth as wide as she could and lowered herself.
In a cascade of foaming white sprays, all the men unleashed the last of their reserves, coating Kelly in a thick layer of semen and flooding her mouth to the point where she thought she was going to drown. Sitting back and trying to swallow it all so that she could breathe, she kept her eyes shut to avoid being blinded and barely felt the handful of dollar bills thrown at her, sticking to her face, hair, and chest with the cum acting as glue.
“Quite an interesting memory.” She heard, recognizing the voice immediately.
Opening her eyes, she looked up into the smiling face of Jack. The scene had changed, the finished basement replaced with a black backdrop, devoid of any surfaces, matter, or point of reference. It was as if they were in the darkest, emptiest zone in the universe, far away from any star, but every atom in their bodies was glowing, allowing them to see each other. She had changed as well, the thick coating of semen now gone, as well the hundred-dollar bills that had been sticking to her.
“That is an important memory to you, not sentimentally, but symbolically. It was a key point in your past, even if you aren’t quite fond of it.” He remarked.
“Great, first I was getting gangbanged, now I’m going to get brain-fucked by the newbie. Piss off, I’ve had a long day. I at least don’t want to hear any criticism when I’m asleep.” She muttered, wishing she had some cigarettes or drugs. Jack walked over with his hand outstretched, a heroin needle on his open palm.
“Go ahead, use it, block out everything. Close your senses to the world that you don’t understand. You aren’t doing this to punish or destroy yourself, you aren’t running from something you did or something that happened to you, you are just trying to shrink your world as much as you can to fit your comprehension.” He said, not as a taunt but as a calm matter of fact.
“Shut up! I don’t have to listen to you! What makes you so much better than me that you can look down and judge me?!” She demanded, smacking the needle out of his hand. Jack never lost his smile.
“I never said I was better than you, you only said it to try and understand the bond between us. By saying I am better than you, you are trying to use what you understand of me as a fixed point of reference to try and understand yourself through comparison. Tell me, are you happy?” He asked.
“Yes, for your information, I am happy!” She yelled defensively.
“Are you happy?” He asked again.
“I said yes!” She barked.
“Are you happy?”
“Are you happy?”
“Are you happy?” He asked yet again. Kelly didn’t reply, she only stared up into his eyes, biting her lip to the point where it almost started to bleed.
“Are you happy?” He asked one final time. As if suddenly being shot in the leg, Kelly collapsed onto her hands and knees, shaking at his feet.
“I… don’t know…” She whimpered.
“Are you happy when you inject a needle into your bruised forearm? Are you happy when you receive a failed grade? Are you happy when some guy you don’t even know empties his seed into you and then gets you off his deflating manhood like a used condom? Do they make you happy, or do they make you feel unhappy? Is there anything that makes you happy? Don’t you have friends to make you happy!”
“I DON’T KNOW! I don’t have any friends!” She shouted, covering her ears to try and block him out.
“But how could you not know? After all, you are you, who else would know what you are feeling? You are the only one who knows your emotions.” He hinted. Even with her ears covered, Jack’s voice reached her mind with unparalleled clarity.
“But I don’t know who I am!” She finally admitted.
“Exactly. You are afraid to be alone but you keep the idea of friends at a distance because you can’t connect with them when you don’t know what to say. So instead, you sleep with strangers because it gives you someone else to focus on, someone you can essentially mirror and who’s identity who can so briefly share. You know nothing about yourself, so you must cling to others to know what it is like to have an identity, but without being in any sort of relationship that involves the other person seeing who you truly are.
But instead of being what you would call “a slut”, you whore yourself out for money that you don’t need and don’t value. Prostitution is the oldest profession in the history of mankind, tracing back to the ape ancestors of the species. Even female chimpanzees will sell themselves in exchange for payment in the form of food. You could almost say that it is in the DNA, an ability carried within all females. You are aware of this, at least at a subconscious biological level, so you use prostitution as a way to get in tune with yourself and try to understand who and what you are in at least a physical sense. Pardon my language.
We had math class together yesterday before we met behind the gas station, you received a test with the lowest grade achievable, but it meant nothing to you. You don’t know how to feel happiness or shame, the two being emotions that help or harm the Self. You don’t know how to react to something, because in order to react, you would have to be someone. Instead you just let life happen, shrugging off the bad or the good to the faceless name of Kelly Ross, since you don’t know how to take anything personally.
Then you take drugs to alleviate the pain of ignorance. You are filled with curiosity every moment of every day, so you use hallucinogens to try and expand your perception so that you can look inward in the attempt the self-reflect, and if that doesn’t work, you use opiates to silence your mind and block out the world that you don’t understand and forget the self that you don’t recognize.” He summarized.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you being so mean?!” She shouted.
“I am not being mean. I am showing you clarity, the blunt truth that you have never before experienced. Like light to the eyes of someone who has been asleep, knowledge from an analysis of yourself shocks your mind. I am granting you a glimpse into who you are, I’m making you think with a part of your mind that you never used before, and that strain is causing what you believe to be pain. Is this not what you always wanted? What you feel is the exposure to something you’ve never experienced, completely different from the indifference to your life, the mind-numbing effects of drugs, and the mirror-like personality you use when you are selling your body.” He said. Kelly gave no reply, so he got down on one knee and gently grasped her shoulders.
“Think Kelly, is what you are feeling right now truly pain? No, it is an awakening, a metamorphosis brought on by the understanding I am giving you. You know it’s true, you want to hear more, you want to know more, and you want to better understand. This is your chance to finally figure out who you are, you just have to take your first step onto the right path.” He continued. Kelly took a deep breath and finally looked at him.
“What do I have to do?” She asked.
“You must find your Self, it is the essence of who you are and what makes you unique. However, in order to do that, you must first find your Superego, a Freudian term used to describe how you perceive yourself and your social identity. Before you can find your core, you must first find your surface. You must find what you display as who you are when you are with others. The Self is what makes you who you are, the Superego is what you perceive yourself to be.
Once you find your Superego, you must uncover whatever it was that hid it for so long. There is something that has been preventing you from understanding yourself, locked deep within your mind, and it is the key to finding the Self. Find the Superego, find the key that has been hiding the Superego, and use that key to find the Self. In order to complete the first task, you must clear your mind and your life of all distractions and hindrances. You must give up sex and physical relationships so that you can develop your identity, you must give up drugs so that you can clearly perceive your identity, and you must engage in others so that you can know how to use your identity.
Whether it will take a week or the rest of your life, this is something you must do if you ever want to be happy. If you do these, then you will become more than Kelly Ross, you will become more than the sum of your parts. Once you uncover your Self, you will truly understand all aspects of yourself and the existence in which you reside in. If you do this, you won’t be happy, you will go beyond happiness.” He instructed.
“Ok.” She said softly while taking a deep breath.
Kelly bolted up in bed, taking in every breath her lungs could fit. She was back in her room and the sky outside her window was turning pink as the sun approached the horizon. It had been a dream, it had all been a dream, but did that make it any less meaningful? If it was just a dream, then didn’t that mean that it was her own brain telling her to change? Looking down, she stared at her trembling hands for several seconds, for to her, it felt like she was looking at herself for the first time.
Jack opened his eyes as the sunlight passed through his room and began to chuckle lightly.
“Now to see if they will follow my advice. I just hope I didn’t mess with Victoria’s mind too much with that dream stuff.” He hummed.
“Jack, hey, good morning!” Victoria said cheerfully, waiting by the entrance to the school and surprising him as he stepped out of the cold.
“Ah, Victoria! Good morning to you as well!” He said as she walked over and wrapped both her arms around his left with their fingers interlaced. Jack chuckled softly.
“My, aren’t you affectionate today.” He teased, walking with her down the hall.
“Let’s just say that I slept really well last night. Hey, after school, can we talk?” She asked.
“Sure, but we could talk now.” Said Jack.
“I know, but I just want to make sure we can go somewhere to have absolute privacy.”
“Very well, I’d be happy to. I have to go to my locker before first period, I’ll see you in history class.” Jack agreed.
“Great, it’s a date.” She said, kissing him on the cheek and then briskly walking away. Jack reached up and placed his hand on the side of his face where she had kissed him.
“My, aren’t you affectionate today.” He repeated softly as he watched her disappear into the crowd.
“She’s crazy about you.” Said Kelly, approaching from behind. She had a small but warm smile on her face, as if having received a new lease on life.
“Hello Kelly. Yes, I picked it up almost immediately yesterday when she and I started talking. I’m sorry, but I can’t be with you. It’s not you, it’s me. I can’t be in a love triangle.” He said jokingly, making Kelly laugh.
“But you do have a lovely smile, especially a genuine one.” He complimented.
“Slow down newbie, I gave you my welcome-back special, that doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship. You’re just a client, or a past client I should say.” She hummed.
“Oh, so you’re quitting the prostitution business?” Jack asked joyfully.
“Yeah, I just had a really vivid dream last night and I decided that I should make some changes. Besides, I won’t need the money since I quit using drugs and cigarettes.” She declared.
“Good, that is a great decision, and no matter what, be proud of yourself for making it. You haven’t had any withdrawal symptoms yet, have you?” He asked.
“They’re starting, I normally have a hit in the morning so my body is starting to get the shakes. But it feels a lot easier than it does when I normally just miss one, it feels… good.” She shrugged.
“Well I’m glad. I need to get to my locker, I guess I’ll see you around?” He congratulated.
“Sure.” She said. Standing up on her tiptoes, she leaned forward and hugged Jack tightly.
“Thanks for being a friend.” She whispered gratefully.
She then let go, smiled at him one last time, and then walked away. Jack chuckled softly and then set off in the opposite direction, wandering through the thick crowd of teens on his way to his locker. As he passed by the math wing, he spotted Tyler, talking to someone with his back to him. Approaching, he saw Tyler hand the Freshman some cash.
“This is all the money I took from you. Once again, I’d like to say I’m sorry and I hope you can one day forgive me.” He said with true honesty. Staring at the money, the teenage boy looked up at Tyler and nodded.
“I forgive you.” He said.
As Jack walked by, he patted Tyler on the back and said,
“You’re on the right path.”
“You wanted to talk to me?” Jack asked as he walked through the school parking lot towards Victoria, who was waiting for him on the hood of her car.
“Let’s talk in the car.” She said with a shift of her head. Breathing into his hands to warm his fingers, Jack got into the passenger seat of her car and two shivered in the cold compartment.
“Listen, I told you yesterday that I was really shy around guys, and that was true, but…” She said before trailing off. Smiling, Jack reached out and wrapped his hands around hers, making Victoria blush and smile.
“That was true, but it’s also true that I’ve… I’ve had this huge crush on you for years now. I was always too nervous to say anything before and I was devastated when you left. Now that you’re back and I’m able to truly appreciate the kind of guy you are, I was hoping that I could be your girlfriend.” She said timidly.
“Victoria...” Jack began, raising his hand and placing it on her cheek. Her whole face was blushing to the point of reaching the same shade as her hair from her embarrassment. At the gentle caress, Victoria shivered in happiness, practically melting in his hand.
“I have no idea how you feel about me. You said that you love everything, so I can’t help but wonder if you see anything special when you look at me. But I do know that my feelings for you are real, be they love or not. I want to be with you Jack, you’re the kindest and smartest man I’ve ever met, and you’ve had such a huge impact in my life in such a short time. Tell me, will you be my boyfriend?” She asked desperately.
Before answering, Jack leaned forward and gently kissed her, flooding Victoria with waves of warm bliss. It was just like in her dream, it was the same exact kiss. For ten seconds they kissed over and over again, but as soon as they started, they stopped and Jack pressed his forehead against hers, looking into deep into her eyes.
“I do see something special when I look at you, and it would be an honor to be your boyfriend. If you want this relationship to last the rest of our lives, then I will do everything I can to make sure this happens. I want to be with you.” He said warmly, nearly causing Victoria to cry tears of joy.
“Oh Jack.” She said before kissing him.
This time, as their lips touched and separated like an undulating yin and yang, they wrapped their arms around each other and kissed with more passion, quickly causing the windows to fog up. Her fear of rejection gone and her heart more open than ever in her life, Victoria could feel her familiar horniness rushing through her body like floods of hot bubbling bath water, desperate to be released. Jack raised an eyebrow of interest as he felt Victoria’s soft wet tongue slip between his lips and wrap around his own with an indescribable delectability.
Almost ready to burst with horniness, Victoria grabbed Jack’s hand and placed it on her breast. Even through the multiple layers of clothes, the firm C-cup bosom had a softness and shape that could be immediately recognized, even to one who had never experienced it. Jack instantly gained an erection from the feel of her womanly form, and at the touch of his hand against one of her most sensitive and sensual places, Victoria’s pussy moistened in arousal. She couldn’t take it anymore, she wanted it right there and then. Reaching down beside the seat, she grabbed the reclining lever, about to set the seat back so he could get on top of her.
“Victoria, wait.” Jack said as she began to lean back while pulling him towards her.
“No, no waiting. Please, take me now.” She panted.
“Victoria, do you really want your first time to be in your car in the school parking lot?” He asked. Victoria bit her lip and sighed.
“No.” She finally admitted.
“One week, let’s wait one week. Seven days from now, I will give you anything and everything you desire. As the old phrase goes, I will rock your world. But until then, I want us to learn more about each other, so that on that night, when we bond, we will each truly know everything about who we are becoming one with. Before we make love, I want to change your feelings for me from just liking me to loving me.” He established. Victoria smiled.
“A man who wants to hold off sex for the sake of romance, there is nothing sexier to a woman than that. All right, one week from now, it’s a date. But under one condition: you have to make me cum until I pass out. Seriously, I want to pack all the sex we COULD have been having into that one night.” She said sweetly.
“Deal.” Jack laughed before kissing her one last time.
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