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                              Traveling the underworld and above



I edited it a bit because, I felt that there wasn't enough detail and I felt that it was too fast paced, as a commenter had said. Thanks for the advice! :)

She was walking, her heels clattering, noisily  against the cobblestone in the street, turning into an abandoned alley. She knew it was dangerous at this time of the night but she wanted to hurry home. Clary had spent most of the day in the office, counting money and sorting out important papers for her company. Bruce had tried to kiss her again, failing. A lot of men always stared at her as she walked past them, swishing her hips and her vanilla perfume reaching their noses. While she was walking, she bumped into Bruce.
"hey, clary! I thought you were going home?" he asked cheerily, as if he expected to bump into her.
"hello, Bruce, i decided to visit a friend first, actually because I had to give her some things." Clary held up a plastic bag. 
"oh ok then," he walked away with a frown upon his face, as if to say, she has time to go to a friends place but she doesn't have time to go to mine? 
Clary placed a hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds of her giggles. She knew it was mean to do that to Bruce, but he had to notice that she really didn't like him that way. Warily, she looked around the alley and found it deserted. A blue bin stood underneath a flickering lamp. She continued forward, walking slowly at first and then speeding up. What she didn't know was that in the shelter of the bin were two men, overcome with lust and desire for Clary. Snarling, they lunged for Clary, Hands outstretched. Clary, confused let out an ear splitting scream. She kicked and struggled as The men gagged her with a foul smelling cloth. Then she fell into a deep sleep.

Clary woke up later to find herself bound to a chair, her wrists and feet tied with rope that scratched her tender skin. She struggled, screaming for help. 
    "shut up, bitch, no one will hear you, now how about you be a good little girl for us? We  can do it the easy way or the hard way." he started to rip her blouse open, the fabric tearing underneath his calloused fingers. 
Tears streamed down Clary's face, " please, don't! I'll do anything else, I have money, whatever! But just don't"
She was cut off by a slap to the face. "bitch, I said to shut up," he continued undressing her while Clary struggled. 
"open your mouth," the man said, signaling for the man beside him to hold Clary down.
She shook her head, tightening her lips together. He punched her, clary's head snapped to the side and she gasped. The man didn't waste any time stuffing his putrid smelling cock into her mouth. Groaning, he thrust into her mouth over and over again, clary's nose being pushed up against his hair. She gagged from the smell, and closed her eyes. Another man was pinching her nipples, twisting them. She was breathless from the relentless pounding the back of her throat was getting and when he finally pulled out, she gasped for breath.
"please don't , please" she begged, gasping when she felt fingers in her opening. A man was thrusting his fingers into her pussy, grunting. She whimpered, a small sound. 
"please don't I'm a virgin!" 
"Dan hold her down." Dan moved to spread her legs and keep them down. 
In one thrust he the other man thrust into her, her saliva on his cock the only lubricant. She screamed as pain travelled through the lower section of her body. Dan placed his cock into her mouth. The pain was too much for Clary as the other man thrust his cock in and out of her pussy, groaning. She fainted.

He had heard screaming from the warehouse nearby and as he walked inside, he found two men bent over a woman who looked like she was unconscious. The men were grunting and with a flick of his wrist he sent them flying against the wall, the sound of bones breaking placing a grin upon his face. She was beautiful, her black hair tumbled down around her face and over her naked form. She had big breasts, slender legs, narrow hips and full pink lips. The body any woman would crave for. The ropes that bound her snapped as he walked forward and took her into his arms, then spreading his wings, he flew away, quiet as the wind. 

Clary woke up on a soft bed, silk sheets covering her. She was lying in a large four poster bed, the floor a cream coloured carpet and a shining chandelier above her head, on the opposite side of the bed was a small black bench, She looked around in confusion and jumped when she saw a handsome man leaning against a door. Clary sat up, startled and realised that she was naked. She clumsily pulled up the sheets to cover her body. 
"w-where am I? Who are you?" she said, hands shaking. 
"don't worry, I won't hurt you, I found you with," he hesitated, "with them" he ended flatly. 
Her stomach gave out a growland heat crept p into her cheeks. 
"umm do you happen to have some clothes I can put on?" she needed to wear something before she left. The man tossed her a shirt onto the bed and stared at her.
"could you..give me some privacy?" she wearily stared at the stranger, still not trusting him.
"the bathroom is over there," he abruptly said, snapping out of his reverie, pointed to a door on her left. Then he walked out, closing the door gently behind him. Clary walked into the room, bringing the big black shirt with her. She was aching from last night and she pushed away the thoughts. The bathroom walls were Sky blue, two white sinks jutted out from a wall with a mirror hung above it. A toilet that hung off from the wall was next to a square shower. She hesitated, wondering if she should use the shower or the luxurious bathtub that overlooked a garden. She had a quick shower, and put on the shirt he had given her. He was like a dark prince, black hair, lidded dark eyes with curling long lashes. Opening the door she walked out of the luxurious room and into the hallway, climbing down the stairs before breaking into a run for the door. But he was there, casually standing there with his hands on clary's shoulders.
"where do you think you're going?" he asked, turning clary away from him and pushing her gently towards where she had come from.
"umm..going home?" she shrugged off his touch, her shoulders still tingling.
"what do you mean? You're staying here with me," he said seductively, his voice a whisper. 
Clary shivered, but not from the cold. 
"don't you want something to eat?" he said, abruptly pushing clary into a seat by the table. He dissapeared and Clary waited, patiently, for him to return, eyeing the door. When he did, he was carrying plates and cutlery. Then was followed by a few servants that held dishes filled with meat and delicacys. 
Her stomach grumbled at the thought of food and from the smell that wafted towards her. Not caring whether the food was clean, she ate. Stuffing her mouth with food.
"what's your name?" the handsome stranger asked, watching clary eat with amusement.
"clary, yours?" she said,slightly annoyed at the look on his face.
"jace." 
Clary had finished her food, she stood up and started to walk across the room and towards the door. "I'm going now, I have my own house." she felt Jace's eyes on her back, staring as she walked away. As soon as she stepped outside of his door she was grabbed by a few people, clad in black. She screamed and watched as Jace walked towards her,flinging aside her attackers like they were ants. 
"I told you that you were staying with me, didn't I?" he whispered into her ear, his sweet breath tickling her neck. 
"w-what are you?who are you? H-how.." she trailed off, staring into jace's eyes. 
He grabbed her hand and pulled her back inside the house. Clary jerked away from him. He sighed, his hand combing through his hair in frustration. 
"ok, look, I'm a demon, something like an evil angel." jace said staring at Clary.
"a d-demon? You can't be, there is no such thing as a demon! You are lying." she said, her hands shaking. 
"you asked for the truth," he shrugged, continuing to pull her towards the bed she woke up in. She struggled against his grip, pounding her fists against his hard chest.
"let me go! Your a monster! Don't touch me!" with a mighty tug, she tore her wrist free from his grasp and ran towards the door, desperate for escape. She flung open the door, the cold wind blowing into her face as she ran. Clary knew it was useless running from him but she tried anyways, moving faster. She stopped, her cheek smashing into a chest and with horror she looked up, it was Jace. 
"you can't run from me, i told you my secret, you're mine now." he grinned and pocking her up, his arm around her waist he lifted her up into the air. She screamed. 
"let me go!" she pushed at his arms.
"ok, i'll let you go," with a grin, he let clary drop. Clary, too shocked to even scream, felt her breath go out of her as she fell, the concrete rushing towards her. Just when she thought she was going to die, she felt someone catch her. Jace took her back home, looking down on her face. She still had her eyes closed in fear. Once jace had set her down on the bed, she burst into tears. The demon, feeling sorry for her, reached out to take her into his arms but she pushed him away.
"go away! I don't want to see you anymore!" she screamed pushing herself the farthest she could to get away from him. All of Her feelings poured out, the hurt, the sadness, the shock. Jace walked silently out of her room, leaving her to despair. Her whole body shook and she cried herself to sleep.

Jace hadn't felt like this towards anyone for hundreds of years. He burned with the need for her, to love him, to care for him. Her soul was pure, untainted by the scene last night. She was filled with energy, the energy was bright, almost visible if you looked carefully. Jace was afraid that he would taint it if she would come to live with him, forever. Should he let her go, he soul would be untainted but he knew there were other demons that would want to taste her. Sighing, he tossed around in his bed, yearning for the feel of Clary's soft skin against his. Yearning for her smell, that delicious smell. Servants of the other demons were already sniffing her out, the men that he saw when she had run a sign. He would protect her, even if it cost him his life, she was still a stranger to him but he felt a strong pull towards her. SHe would love him, he knew it.
3 comments

anonymous readerReport

2012-10-01 03:42:15
When you prepare version 3 do you think you could put in the necessary capital letters and punctuation?

anonymous readerReport

2012-09-30 22:10:46
it was really good until you introduced the demon. You just kinda rushed the whole begining. You should have described his home where they were. the two main characters have no real relationship or reason for why he feels so drawn to her aside from her look

anonymous readerReport

2012-09-30 21:25:12
I laughed when I esas the opening line. Thanks You for timing this further.
The getting and expanded emotions pule me closer to the charactors.
This is a Great beginning to a series.

Thanks

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