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Introduction:

Thanks To All The Supporters Of My First Jokes, And Especially To The Ones Who Encouraged Me To Write More ;) Enjoy :D
1.) What do you call a 90-year old man that can still madturbate?
A.) Miracle whip!
2.)Why don't witches wear panties when flying?
A.) To get a better grip on the broomstick!
3.)What's the quickest way to clear out a mens restroom?
A.) Say "Nice Dick".
4.)What's the definition of 'skyjacking'?
A.) A hand job at 32,000 feet
5.)What's white, sticky, and falls from the sky?
A.)The cumming of the Lord
6.)Have you heard about the new, 'mint-flavoured birth control pill' that women can take just before having sex?
A.) They're called 'Predickamints'.
7.)Why do dwarfs laugh when they're playing football?
A.)Because the grass tickles their balls!
8.)Why don't blind men skydive?
A.)Because it scares the shit out of the dog!
9.)How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A.)He forgot to wrap his whopper!
10.)How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A.)Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from!
11.)Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A.)Because his pecker is on his head!
12.)Why are women like KFC?
A.)After you've finished with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
13.)Why does Santa have such a big sack?
A.)Beacause he only comes once a year.
14.)What happens if you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?
A.)He keeps coming, and coming, and coming!
15.)What starts with 'F', ends in 'K', ane means ALOT of excitement?
A.)If you thought that the answer was 'Fuck', Then boy, you have a sick mind... because the answer is...
FIRETEUCK!!
16.)What's a zebra?
A.)26 Sizes bigger than an 'A' bra!

Some Blonde Jokes:
(No offence is meant to any Blondes reading, I used to be a blonde though!)
B1.)How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
A.)Write 'Please Turn Over' on both sides of a piece of paper
B2.)How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A.)Knock on the door
B3.)Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A.)Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
20 comments

TobyeReport

2013-07-14 21:04:33
In Nigeria? Call +2348133910286

anonymous readerReport

2013-07-03 05:16:17
kiss your left hand 2. Say the name of the person u like 3. Close your hand 4. Say the name of a weekday5. Say your name 6. Open your hand 7. Paste this in 15 comments and on the day you picked your love will tell you they like you and ask you out if you don't do it within an hour of reading this you will have 1 year bad luck

anonymous readerReport

2013-06-14 06:10:14
Dear. Ms. Kitty Kat, In that time zone , your jokes were cute & entertaining. I surpose,my advice is upgrade. Basically your seeking Poland Springs,badly. I say that due to the dryness of your Jokes.

lolaheiressReport

2013-06-07 18:51:16
I love these I read them to friends keep writing them

anonymous readerReport

2013-06-03 23:23:37
dicks is where i got my cup

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