I made sure to lock my door after George left. I laid on my bed, feeling refreshed after my shower. I wish it could wash away all my insanity. Thinking about it, I really don't know what pushed me that far. I never thought I'd be acting like that, rash decisions do get the best of you. It had only been about an hour after George left, so my parents weren't to be home for another five hours or so. I reached for my phone on the nightstand, calling Desiree. She answered within seconds.
"Hey watcha doin?" I asked.
"Uhm nothing, just here in my brothers room." She replied.
"Why, you don't like him?" I laughed, but stopped when I heard someones name. "Is Joseph there?"
"Uhh, no." Then I heard it more clearly. Daniel had called out to Joseph.
"What is he doing there?" I asked, slightly irritated. It was none of my business, but it annoyed me to know that my friend was in the same room with him. "Nevermind that. I'm coming over, I wanna talk." She muttered an okay before hanging up. I threw on a t-shirt and jeans, and walked across the street. I knocked on the door, Desiree coming to answer it. She opened it and led me to her room, closing the door behind me.
"So, what is it?" She asked as she sat on her computer chair. I was about to speak when she interrupted me. "Actually, wait. Joseph wants to talk to you, like really bad." She said dragging out really.
I eyed her suspiciously. "Why? I just humiliated him in class today." She only shrugged her shoulders. "Anyways, I just had sex with George."
"Again?!" She yelled.
My eyes went wide, only momentarily. "Well I said sex. He didn't rape me."
"You mean you liked it?" She asked, almost as if she was scared.
"Well it felt good, I guess. But, he said he's never gonna talk to me cuz supposedly Alex had told him I was 'pleasuring' people." I replied. Adding air quotes. "But what I really wanna talk about you and-"
She stared at the door before cutting me off. "Alex has changed so much. Don't you think?" She looked back at the door.
"I'm have no right to speak about that. I changed within a day." I said, all while walking to the door. I opened it. "Don't you think so, Daniel?" He fell in the room, face first.
"Uhm, no?" He gave a nervous laugh as I stared at him evily. "She made me do it!" He yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Desiree.
She stood up from her chair, mouth open. "You liar! You said you wouldn't rat me out!"
"But he gave me the eyes!"
I found it funny, but I couldn't show any humor. Especially when Joseph cane around the door. I gathered up some mannerism (not as though I've shown it) and asked,"What do you want?"
He raised up a quizzical eyebrow. "What do you think?"
"I'm sorry how I've been acting. Just too much stuff and it was driving me crazy." I answered.
"So it isn't anymore?" He asked.
I shake my head. "I really shouldn't care what people say about me. I mean, yeah it hurts, but people won't know unless I give them that satisfaction."
"You know, I'm completely lost." Daniel commented, looking between the three of us.
"Yeah, and it'll stay that way." Desiree replied, poking his forehead.
"Tony, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have called you a slut and a fag. I guess I deserved it when you put me on the spot." He told me.
Oooh yeah.. "So, are people treating you the same?" I asked, intently waiting for his response.
He smiled. "Yeah, nothing's changed." At least he wasn't going to have a hard time like I did.
"Hey, that means you two are the only ones 'out' at school." Desiree exclaimed. "Yall would be the cutest couple. I guess Tony would be the girl." She added innocently. I rolled my eyes as Joseph looked down.
"Umm.. Joseph, you're-" but before Daniel could finish, Desiree dragged him out of the room. She closed the door, leaving only me and Joseph in there.
Joseph broke the silence after a few seconds. "George, is he your boyfriend?"
I shook my head. "No, I don't think it would have gotten that far." I sat on the bed.
"I'm sorry Tony." He said, looking at the floor. "I regret not doing what you wanted in the basement. Then your first time wouldn't have been forced."
"Don't think that way, but I've been meaning to ask, why didn't you do me?" I asked.
He sat next to me. "Everything was new to me, like if it was just zooming by."
"It was all new to me too. Maybe it was only what I wanted and just driven by lust." I forced a weak smile. "I was so overwhelmed when you kissed me, it made me think you felt the same way I did about you."
"Well, at least you're right about that." He looked at me. "Even if we did call eachother ugly names, I still hoped you'd talk to me."
He reached out his hand, trying to tangle it with mine, but I pulled back. He looked at me, confused by my reaction.
"I'm sorry but... I don't like you anymore." It hurt me to say it, when I had liked him so much.
"What do you mean?" It was obvious he was taken aback.
"We wouldn't work out."
"How could you know? We can try!"
"Don't limit yourself to me! I'm not the best out there, I know you could do better! Have you even been with a girl?" He shook his head. "Then how could you be so sure I'm what you want?"
"But that's what we'd find out, see if we're what we want. See if we can work out!" He was now gripping my shoulders. "Tony, please."
I couldn't back out now. "No, Joesph. On that first day, I didn't want to do anything with you! I didn't even think there would ever be something between us... But then you kissed me, something I wasn't expecting. Don't you think you took it too fast there?" He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I rose to my feet and walked out.
"Is everything fine now?" Desiree asked worriedly.
"I believe so." I answered, walking out and into my home.
So... You wonder why I rejected my crush? I'll tell you why.
That night after I ran from the bayou and to Desiree's room, is when I lost all romantic feelings for him. And true friendship for Desiree.
Before she opened the window, I could hear hushed whispers from inside.
"Go back to the room!" It was Desiree. She then opened the window and I let myself in. I had briefly looked around, noticing a condom packet on her nightstand before Desiree hurridly snatched it up. It hurt me to know my bestfriend was planning to do that behind my back and play it off as if it was never thought of.
What I Wanted was an actual true friend... A loyal partner... but found out that neither Joseph or Desiree could fill those spots for me. So that's how it was in the end, I didn't get What I Wanted.
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OMG, such a terrible ending... I rushed it, I wanted this so called series to end soooo badly. Please don't hate me for this final chapter ): I'm too young to bear hatred... But if you really want to know what happens after this, I guess you could comment and say so.. I mean, Tony IS/WAS only in the 8th grade. (: