Gender: Male Age: 60 Location: Good Old South, USA
|Introduction: Secret formula creates animal attraction; betrayal follows|
JackassTales…Tale #69…Readers; what an ironic coincidence I found when I counted my listed stories. This story will stand as my 69th written for this site. My story title carries the number 69. The subject is largely about a sex formula 69 (the 69 comes from a mandatory paragraph). Additionally, I would like to thank ahorsewithnoname for his permission to use characters from one of his preceding stories AND for his permission to use 69 as a number instead of a year.
SEX FORMULA 69
The heat waves shimmered in the distance, inexorably rising off the sand in an unmerciful display of Mother Nature’s authority. At the moment, Ambassador Horse was nowhere to be found. Off to the left, the constant cacophony of the Vegas Strip could be heard, the discordant sounds of whoring and gambling signaling the beginning of another day in Sin City.
It was the summer of Formula 69. It was the summer of my betrayal of my boss and best friend.
[Part one] Back in Texas
Hell, Mr. Horse should have known better than to trust me anyways! Yes, we were longtime friends, yet Mr. H. knew that I had a shady past which, as far as he knew, included larceny, brutality, and murder. One might question the brutality part because of my wheelchair limitations. Sheeit, I blinded and seriously maimed an asshole longshoreman thirty years ago simply by jujitsu ripping him to shreds with the detachable arms of my chair. I might be pushing sixty now, but I still ain’t helpless!
And I ain’t stupid! Mr. H. once described me as the following: “Besides being my longtime friend and the Castle’s longtime resident doctor, Jack is privy to most of thing going on at the duded-up Chicken Ranch Whorehouse. Although he has the look and demeanor of the stereotypical absent-minded professor, Jack is far from being so. This unsuspecting persona works well at disarming people, but behind those unassuming eyes was a mind sharpened years ago at Cal-Tech and MIT. Research is his true passion and his discovery of the missing element of the pheromonal compound was nothing short of genius!”
Mr. H. had gone on to compliment my skill and aptitude by disclosing the fact that I knew my pheromonal product would be worth a small fortune if put on the open market. But, there was also the chance that how I discovered the product might be found out by the authorities. So, by tacit agreement with Mr. H., my spray would remain a secret, at least for now.
Bullshit! Okay, yes, my friend Horse has his reasons for secrecy. He was an outrageously wealthy man when I met him decades ago. Now as to whether or not my spray potion contributed to his increasing wealth is anyone’s guess. Since he is running the finest whorehouse in the world, my guess would be, YES.
One might wonder what this mysterious spray is. Well, in short, if you like pussy then one whiff of my aerosol from a female would get you all the cunt you could handle. Mr. H’s whorehouse thrived on MY amazing concoction.
If one whorehouse thrived then why couldn’t others? What if I left and took my potions with me. Oh, I would leave Mr. H. the original spray. I owed him that. Yet, I would not leave him my latest creation. This was my 69th attempt at perfecting my formula and I had finally discovered a potion which was so concentrated that only a drop could seduce several women. I had this Formula 69 made into sprays, pills, lotions, foods, and dozens of other forms.
Getting away without incurring Mr. H’s wrath was the rub. And I mean rub in the “rub you out” meaning!
It wasn’t as if I had no allies. Why Hell, Sheriff ‘Old Man’ Don was more loyal to me although he continued to curry Mr. H’s favor in order to get himself pussy. Senator W. S. Fun ‘owed’ me because I had saved his life by a schizophrenic diagnosis of his deranged, devious mind. He had more brawn than brains, yet he also had connections. Bubba, a horny country boy cousin of Senator Fun would make an outstanding bodyguard. This brute was 6ft 3in tall and could handle any weapon put in his hand. A banker the girls liked was just crooked enough that I could corrupt him. The girls call him Daddy and bragged that Daddy always Cums.
I had made plans. I had made calls all over the world on a secure phone. With the help of my friends, whom I would make into multi-millionaires, I would meet world representatives of whorehouse conglomerations this summer in Las Vegas, NV.
“Jack…” came a whisper. “Doc, what’s on your mind?”
I jerked awake from my mutinous reverie. “Oh, hi Ellie,” I answered. “How’s tricks?” I teased.
“Damnit Jack, my tricks are my own damn business,” my friend angrily retorted. “I save all my tricks for you, Don, and of course, H! Want some pussy? I have a new girl for you. She’s young. And I mean ‘young’ as in I bet she hasn’t seen her sixteenth birthday yet! She’s virginal, but has decided that a few years of being a whore will save her from living a future as ‘trailer trash’. I believe she comes from a long line of trailer trash cunts who have the intelligence of stones. This girl is smart enough for college, so we are going to allow her to work the costs off.”
“Check her out, Jack,” Ellie charged. “Give her a complete physical exam from head to toe and play with her all you wish. But, just remember, Doc. Save her virginal hymen. We have a high-roller who wants a fresh young virgin!”
I was so excited about examining a hot young teen girl, that I cut Ellie off, spun my chair on a dime, and headed for my office and exam room. I used to have the notion that electric wheelchairs were ‘sissified’ and that no respectable person with a disability like I had would use one. But hell, overlooking the opportunities of power-assisted mobility was downright ludicrous! So, I had a $100,000 custom chair built. Some around here fondly call my motorized craft the ‘BatMobile’. It had lights, horns, sirens, and more. My legs were comfortably relaxing on raised leg-rests. My chair’s oversized wheels, tires, and powerful hybrid gasoline, battery & hydraulic drivetrain made my mobility nearly limitless.
Wide electric doors automatically opened as I approached my examination suite. I had the best of the best equipment as far as examinations and operations were concerned. Off to my left, I saw a young teen girl jump to her feet. I suppose she was startled by my sudden, silent appearance.
Hot damn, she was a looker! She had a certain way of carrying herself which conveyed confidence and maturity, yet she had such an innocent and virtuous air about her which defied a man to damage her by his touch. By god, I’d seen them come and go, so defiling wholesome and respectable girls was right up my Horny Old Man’s alley!
“Hey little girl, come sit in my lap,” I commanded. “I’m Doc Jack and I’ll be giving you your examination today.”
The girl showed little hesitancy. She climbed up into my wheelchair and took a seat in my lap. If this gal’s body had any feeling at all, then surely her ass was feeling the ridged hardness of my growing cock. Aha, I felt her ass wiggle just a bit, yet this was enough to whet my appetite for pussy!
Spying the spaciousness of the great Texas outdoors through a giant picture window, I decided to do my examination outside. This was quite a bit unconventional; in fact, I had not done it before. Oh well, if the girl wanted to get a whore’s exam, then outside is as good as in. I would have to leave behind my fancy examination suite, special sexual arousal table, and even my spray stimulator.
The girl in my lap squealed as I raced back out the door and then sped down a long hallway. After crossing an expansive courtyard, my speeding chair exited the confinement of The Castle. Traveling at a speed most wheelchairs would never see I soon found the secluded glade I sought. I stopped within an arm’s throw of a sparkling pool of water. A rippling stream filled the pool with precious, refreshing liquid.
“Sweetheart, what is your name," I asked.
“Claire,” she answered a bit timidly.
“And your age is…” I continued.
“My sixteenth birthday was yesterday,” I heard.
“That’s pretty damned young to be a whore, isn’t it,” I pressed.
“I ain’t…I’m NOT a whore!” Claire reprimanded. “I’m determined to see my work here as just a temporary lifestyle change which will make my future life better.”
“But you surely know that you will have to perform the duties of a whore, such as doing perverted acts with men who are young, old, fat, ugly, dirty, and unfit for your company?” I retorted.
“Yes Sir, I do,” the girl answered matter of factly.
Claire was a doll and dolls demanded high price at The Castle. My job was to exam her for defects and note them. I was handsomely paid monetarily. I was also allowed to touch the new ones and play with their bodies; to a certain point. Virgin hymens were to remain untouched.
“Okay, let’s start,” I instructed. “Take your top off.”
Claire’s fingers fumbled at her buttons, but soon had them undone and the shirt was removed. “Bra, too?” she shyly asked.
“Bra, too,” I simply answered.
Young titties sprang out of a lacy 34c garment. The matched pair of rounded mammary mounds made my cock squirm and press harder into the sweet ass sitting upon it. My examining hands cupped and played with each perfect breast, one after the other. The flesh of these particular boobs was so delicate, so soft, and so supple, that I was hard pressed to remember any other pair to match them. “Girl, get up, straddle my legs, and give me your tits to suck,” I ordered.
Claire jumped to obey. Before I knew it, I had a strawberry red nipple between my lips. I suckled, I twirled the nubile nub, and I gloried in the magnificence of young flesh. I lost a bit of self-control. After molesting this nipple and the tit it belonged to, I found its mate and continued my molestations.
“Doc, I don’t mind you doing that,” the girl whispered. “Miss Ellie told me that your bark was worse than your bite. You’re not really hurting me, but you could if you wanted. Would you like for me to kiss you?”
Huh? What kinda question was that from such a young sprig of a thing? Nipples popped out of my mouth, Claire bent over, and wet, super-slippery lips pressed themselves to mine. Good god, how long had it been since such innocent lips had touched my perverted mouth!
An insane, crazy bout of glorious kissing lasted hours and hours; or was it minutes and minutes. Age was lost as a factor. Perhaps I was fooling myself, but Claire seemed to really like kissing me. It was for damn sure I enjoyed kissing her!
The Horny Old Dog in me presented itself when my fingers unconsciously delved into the ass-end of Claire’s shorts and grabbed themselves two handfuls of silky ass. One hand surreptitiously snuck around to the front and cupped itself a handful of satiny, smooth-shaven pussy. Hmm that felt good!
“Do you want my shorts and panties off, Doc?” Claire bluntly quizzed.
I could say only one word, “Yes.”
And so this girl Claire contorted her body and removed every stitch of clothing she had on. Naked, she lay back between my legs while placing her own delicate feet upon my shoulders. My hands reached out and played with pussy, they played with tits, but mostly they came back to play with the fleshy mound of flexible adolescent cunt.
An idea hit me. I placed both hands under Claire’s ass and lifted her body towards my face. For a man of my age, I was unusually toned and strong. I might have the look of an absent-minded professor, yet I wasn’t all brains and no brawn. My stout biceps and triceps placed the nude girl’s pussy directly in front of my lips and my resilient determination kept it there.
I began licking. Claire’s cracked pussy had the tip of an inviting clit exposed. I licked this clit, I spread the pussy’s folds, and I found the clit’s base. I slurped as much clitoral flesh into my mouth as possible and suckled as heartily as a day old calf at feeding time.
Making Claire’s pussy my playground, I kissed and explored it inside and out. This hairless mound was a joy indeed. My tongue found the delicate butterfly wings of the panting, whining, girl’s inner pussylips and spread them open. I played, I flicked, and I stuck my tongue deep inside. Part of my ‘job’ as the examiner at The Castle was to determine virginity. My probing tongue now found Claire’s hymenal obstruction.
Damnit-to-hell, I now had to stop because of the virginity rule! I was infuriated. I had not used the ‘spray’ on this girl, yet she liked me anyway. She cared for me. She willingly did things for me.
“Doc, are you okay?” Claire asked. “Why have you stopped eating me?”
When I didn’t immediately answer, Claire said, “Oh, I’m so dumb. You want to fuck me now, don’t you?”
The girl had hit the forbidden rule right on its blasphemous head! Her virginity was The Castle’s fortune. Without it she was just another ordinary young whore. Oh, the hell she was! She was my girl and she wasn’t anybody’s whore!
With Claire’s help, I became undressed. My cock was rock-hard, engorged with blood, and elongated by lust. “Don’t let the wheelchair fool you, Sweetheart,” I assured. “I can fuck!”
Claire climbed back into my lap this time with her back to me. She bent over, wriggled her ass against my erection, and seemed to be begging, “Prove it!”
Grabbing my cockshaft with one hand, I guided it towards the dripping vaginal void ahead. Under the ass and through the legs my horny erection did go. I spread the swollen outer pussyfolds and entered them quickly. Slowly, my cockhead kissed Claire’s inner pussylips and gently pushed inside. At the hymen I stopped to think; but I refused to answer reason. Up, up, up, I did thrust. Hymenal flesh was torn asunder and virginal flesh existed no more.
I think Claire screamed, yet it didn’t matter. I fucked the sixteen-year-old recent virgin with more gusto than I had fucked any woman in quite some time. I believe we both felt an unbreakable bond of pleasure. Euphoria blessed us with its sexual ecstasy.
When our forbidden fornication was over, we relaxed for a while in blissful afterglow. Claire eventually climbed off my shrinking cock and turn to kiss me passionately. I kissed my girl with the same enthusiasm.
As I said, I had stopped my powerful motorized wheelchair within an arms throw of a pool of fresh water. Feeling frisky and boyish, I picked Claire up in my arms, kissed her, and then pitched her into the pool. She disappeared below the surface, but reappeared giggling and laughing.
Opening a panel at my side, I look at a myriad of switches and special controls hidden there. I extracted a miniature vial attached to a leather string and then hung the string around my neck. Choosing a combination of flipped switches, I caused a boom to appear bearing a sling which I climbed into. The boom swung out over the oasis pool a lowered me in beside my young lady.
Once in the deep water, I had the freedom of a fish. Claire and I frolicked, played, and gloried in swimming in the nude. Finally, we crawled out onto a small bed of grass. My cock was a poor lifeless pole because of hard fucking and cold water. Claire’s cunt was young and full of zest so I supposed she was up for sex again. Yet I knew there was no way in hell that the young lady was up for the kind of sex Formula 69 induced! Nor was I.
I jerked the string from around my neck and held the miniature vial between my fingers. In my quest for an updated sex pheromone enhancer, I had succeeded in finding one which increased a female’s sex drive 50 fold. As an accidental bonus to my research, I had found out that Formula 69 also affected the virility of a man by increasing performance, stamina, and longevity of erection. No ‘four-hour’ warnings were required. For the right price, erectile dysfunction was a thing of the past.
I held the tiny vial over my lifeless cock and squeezed out one minuscule drop. I swiftly turned to Claire and dripped a drop within her vagina. Lying back, ten seconds passed. Suddenly, my limp dick transformed into a skyward pointing missile of mighty girth and extraordinary length. Beside me, Claire’s vagina burned with a dangerous desire for cock. Luckily, she found one nearby. This young woman climbed aboard my pussy-hungry erection and then all hell broke loose.
I’m sure there are few among us who have not seen one of those nature documentaries in which fights to the death happen among feral animals. An unsuspecting spectator to the sight on the small grassy area where Claire and I lay might think one such fight was happening. Claire and I rolled around and around locked in a fornicidal embrace with my cock pounding her young pussy and spewing seminal creams all over the place. The young woman’s vaginal cum sprayed in relentless streams against the man she was attached to.
Conjoined at the loins, my young lover and I had no control over the effects that Formula 69 had over us. Multiple copulations became the order of the day. The outer skin of my cock and the inner flesh of Claire’s cunt became red and raw from the heat generated by insatiable frictional forces. At the same time, our hearts and minds were nearly bursting from the passionate and obsessive adoration engendered by such breathtaking lust.
Claire assisted me in my sling and together we were lifted into my wheelchair. The girl helped me dress and I helped her. There was going to be hell to pay before this day was done. Mr. H. would be infuriated that one of his high-roller clients would be denied the virginal cunt he sought. That I was the one to betray him would force him into a killing rage. Luckily, I had a bit of time to think because nobody had witnessed the betrayal.
A movement in the brush on the opposite side of the pool proved me wrong. A man burst out running towards a Jeep. He stepped inside it and sped off towards town. Yet, I recognized him as one of Sherriff Don’s deputies. His name was Ronin, but his friends called him, Blackie.
It wasn’t that I cared that my friend Don knew. It was that Blackie Ronin was a bastard from way back who wasn’t one bit afraid of being a blackmailer. Well hell, I was a shady bastard, too, so I knew how to handle his kind!
Turning my chair towards the dust plume perhaps a mile away, I opened the secret compartment at my side. After punching in a satellite code and pushing one of seven red buttons, a miniature missile, made on the order of a military Sidewinder, erupted from beneath my chair and sped towards it target. The heat-seeking tip entered the bastard’s tailpipe and the Jeep with its occupant disappeared in a vaporized blast.
From my chair, I made two quick calls. One was to Miss Ellie and the other to Sherriff Don. Each sounded something like this, “I’m moving the timetable up. I’ll have the jet ready in two hours.
Sadly, I suppose, Claire decided to honor her contract with The Castle. She was still innocent in knowing that her virginity was promised to another. Unless Mr. H. killed her outright or turned her away as a Castle whore, I had a feeling that the passionate young lady would do okay by herself.
[Part two] Vegas; the Secret Convention
Okay, I was already pretty damned rich myself. Mr. H. wasn’t stingy about paying for my services and he paid very well. The Gulfstream I flew was bought from monies I’d made at The Castle. It was wheelchair accessible, had an extended range, and was available at my command.
I suppose there is a difference between a castle and a palace, but at the moment I didn’t have the time to think about it. I was in a secluded subterranean boardroom located two stories beneath Caesar’s Palace gambling establishment in Las Vegas. I was presiding over the worldwide licensing fees for Formula 69. Negotiations were in their 10th hour. I had just made an announcement that the next offer would be the participant’s last chance for a licensing agreement.
As an added incentive toward sales, the Palace had offered me several ‘professional’ personnel to assist in demonstrations. A couple of naked, lesbian, 20-something women now stepped up onto the long conference table. One girl called herself the Bad Babysitter while the other went by the exotic name, Princess Owlen. The ladies performed a traditional double-cock dildo lesbian fuck. They were sweaty and spent after their fornication performance. As my personal assistant, Don stepped forward, fingered the women’s drippy pussies, and then he spritzed each girl’s cunt with a tiny bit of Formula 69.
Although the bidders had seen other demonstrations of 69’s seductive power, they were now treated to a vicious catfight rape between two lesbians. The ladies eventually lay in a 69 position and ate each other’s cunts until feminine cum spilled on papers and pads. Just when they seemed like they could take no more, a naked guy calling himself, Dizzyworks, was sprayed and added to the picture. How many combinations of 3-on-3 semi-consensual rapes were there? Dizzy raped Babysitter, he raped Owlen, Baby raped Dizzy, she raped Owlen, Owlen raped Dizzy, she raped Baby. And on and on.
Finally, an offer was made by a New Zealander going by the name, P. Purveyor, “Representing New Zealand and Australia, I pledge $100 million in cash plus an annual $20 million in licensing!”
“Accepted,” I said.
A fellow by the name of Cheltenham, chimed in, on behalf of the British, I match my opponent’s offer!”
“BOTH offers are accepted,” I said. “I have changed my mind about selling to the highest bidder. If you want licensing, then you ‘all’ pay!”
A lady named Jamie hurriedly offered, “I’ll give 200 million Euros up front and 40 million Euros yearly for licensing in all of mainland Europe!”
This was acceptable of course, as was Ms. Kimiko’s $300 million dollar down plus $50 million a year offer for Asian licensing. Russia’s acceptable offer of 200 million rubles now and 100 million rubles a year was made by an American of shady character named, Emerson Parker. This overconfident contender had the majority of Africa’s proxy so he made an outlandish offer. His bid of $200 million and $100 million a year was too good to pass up, so, I didn’t.
Unbeknownst to the anxious bidders and me, a stealthy figure had entered the boardroom. The hairs on the back of my head stood up. An imposing, authoritative voice stated instead of bid, “I’ll take the exclusive licensing rights to North America, Central America, and South America. I’ll pay $500 million up front and will pay $200 million yearly. Take it or leave it Doc, but I think I’m being more than fair…considering. If you accept another offer, I’ll...!
Mr. H. didn’t have to spell out just what he would do. The Vegas desert was supposedly littered with the bodies of shady, backstabbing, lowlifes. I had no wish to occupy a similar unmarked grave.
[Part three] Aftermath
The heat waves shimmered in the distance, inexorably rising off the sand in an unmerciful display of Mother Nature’s authority. At the moment, Ambassador Horse was nowhere to be found. Off to the left, the constant cacophony of the Vegas Strip could be heard, the discordant sounds of whoring and gambling signaling business as usual in Sin City.
A giant 747 Boeing Business Jet flew high above presumably headed back to Texas and The Castle. For only a fleeting second my thoughts went to the three miniaturized surface-to-air missiles concealed within the back of my wheelchair. At my command the 747’s fuselage would be ripped to shreds and all souls aboard would be lost.
But, my thoughts went back to the precious gift Horse had brought me. Sitting in my lap wearing only a dazzling pink bikini, Claire kissed me again and told me how much she loved me. Decades separated us in age, yet in many ways, age is just a number. Claire was not to be only my bed partner. I had plans to provide tutors in pre-college classes. She could pick her university and have every cent of her education paid for. She was free to leave me at any time of her choosing.
Claire’s smooth young pussy felt so good to my aged hand as I played within her pink bikini panties. Her supple breasts thrilled me with their youthful curvatures and bouncy fullness. Yes, this girl’s age made her jailbait but only those who worked at the hotel I had bought knew this fact. And they weren’t telling. Besides Claire’s bikini, her nipples, and her inner vaginal linings, I never knew that I was so fond of pink. The pink Flamingo was the last of the original 1946 Vegas Strip hotels. I bought it on a whim and have since made it Claire’s and my home.
I didn’t need Formula 69 when I climbed under the satiny sheets with Claire. This girl had a genuine affection for me and proved it daily. Slipping my cock into her deep, slippery pussy was the highlight of my days. I suppose we screwed and fucked a great deal more than most couples. Occasionally, and by mutual consent, we did partake of a drop or two of Formula 69. Glory, if every pussy and cock could pleasure each other as much as we did, then there will be hell to pay in heaven!
Former Sherriff Don took his millions and disappeared into the Pacific Northwest. Rumors have it that he goes for Asian girls and may even be married to one. If so, then the lady would have to fight Kimiko for Don’s affections. The two had been playing pattycake beneath the sheets while in Vegas.
Miss Ellie’s millions allowed her to retire to an artsy/crafty town located on the Hudson River. She picked up romantic erotica writing and became an award winning author. A cousin of the infamous Trump family befriended Miss Ellie (now Ellen) and discovered her real passion. Ellen loved the meat of a cock. Danial Trump loved the flesh of a vagina. Eating 69-style soon became this couple’s favorite pastime.
Senator W. S. Fun successfully ran for President of the United States. His cousin, Bubba (Horny Country Boy) Bailey became his Vice President. This powerful team of alternative candidates swept the Hawaiian Hangover out of the White House and forced the Missionary Millionaire to lose the race. Poker Jayne from The Castle made an unexpected visit and sang Haappyy Birtthhdday Mister President to the playboy Commander in Chief. Jayne brought her wet cunt as an extra special treat. WSF and Bubba had a great time with this instrument of feminine pleasure.
The banker, whom the Castle girls called Daddy who always cums, became a successful author of erotica also. Unfortunately, he was caught skimming money from the Formula 69 account and is currently spending 6 to 9 in prison. An unconfirmed rumor has Daddy switching teams, yet few believe that the Grand Duke de Authorism could stray from a woman’s erotic touch.
Of the bidders, only one received any measure of infamy. Mr. Emerson Parker won several literary awards, but his accomplishments were marred by scandal and controversy. His fiercest literary critic seemed to be a foul-mouthed, dirty, ugly-faced fella named Joe.
Ambassador Horse remains a preeminent figure in the world of international politics, finance, and is still a world renowned purveyor of fine female flesh. He too took up literature and has recently received accolades and awards. Lord only knows how many billions of dollars he has stashed away or how many women he beds each night!
I, Doc Jack S. Tales, became one of the wealthiest men in the world from the sales and licensing of Formula 69 and its worldwide popularity. My times with Claire were cut much too short. After finishing USC, she took up with the lesbian couple Bad Babysitter and Princess Owlen. We four, planned or not, often fall under 69’s spell and we fuck like lunatics all over the place. I have high expectations for stealing Claire back into our own exclusive relationship. I followed in the footsteps of several others and became a writer of erotica. Unfortunately, although I have entered every one of the Ellen-inspired writer’s challenges, I continue to fall short in the number of votes needed to win. I think it’s about damn time I did win or I may give up trying entirely!
My thanks to all who participated in the making of this tale;
Ahorsewithnoname = Mr. H…..Thanks again Horse
Ejls= Miss Ellie……………My best female friend here
DonB9030 = Sherriff Don…My best male friend here
Clairebare (21) = young Claire
Wantsomefun = Senator W. S. Fun
HornyCountryBoy = WSF’s cousin, Bubba
Daddycums = corrupt banker
BlackRonin = deputy/villan driving Jeep
Prurient Purveyor = bidder from New Zealand = represents austalia
Cheltenham = bidder from british empire
ELP = bidder for Russia & Africa
Badbabysitter (28 bi); Princess Owlen (21 likes girls only); and Dizzyworks = entertainment provided by Caesar’s Palace
Poker Jayne = JayneyRedd
JoeDirty = Asshole
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