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A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help.

The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead, lay down & wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up & gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.

So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back & goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes & looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up & drives them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud.

'No,' she says, 'they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.'
9 comments

anonymous readerReport

2012-02-10 03:41:35
It’s pliosbse that she had an adverse reaction to the vaccines. It’s not uncommon for kittens to be lethargic for a day or so after getting vaccines, however, it usually doesn’t last this long. Right now I’d just try to give her supportive care. Buy some canned food from the pet store to entice her to eat and if she won’t eat that get some baby food. Gerber makes meat puree baby food that you can find in any grocery store. If the meat baby food doesn’t entice her then she should go back to the vet ASAP. Try to entice her to drink more water by changing the water dish frequently or better yet by investing in a pet fountain. Pet fountains (like Drinkwell) circulate and filter the water. Many cats prefer them because the water seems fresher. It makes sense — would you rather drink out of a pool of stagnant water or a stream? To make sure she’s not getting dehydrated again, gently pull up the skin on her scruff. The faster it goes down the be

anonymous readerReport

2012-02-07 06:56:38
what to epecxt when your epecxting. i read it like everyday, ive pretty much got it memorized lol

READERReport

2005-08-13 03:01:29
that was so nasty that its not funny

READERReport

2005-07-12 01:12:00
Thats just nasty to think about

READERReport

2005-07-12 01:08:27
im wit guy

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