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Author's infos Gender: Male Age: Secret Location: Detroit |
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| Introduction: Twin, teenage siblings do the nasty together | ||
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For ES “Megan’s Gift” Emerson Laken-Palmer The news to the family was devastating and unbelievable all at once. Devon, the Jansen’s only son, had been diagnosed with Duchenne muscular dystrophy at the age of ten and had been confined to a wheelchair since the age of thirteen. Now the disease had atrophied his heart muscle and had weakened him to the point that he had been given only a matter of a week to live. The fact that his seventeenth birthday was only a week away made the situation even more tragic for Mr. and Mrs. Jansen and their daughter Megan, Devon’s twin sister. Megan took the news the very hardest, her being so close to her older (by fifteen minutes) brother throughout their childhood years and now into their teens. The two of them had been almost inseparable as kids. In fact it was Megan who had most believed that her care and constant attention, to her brother, would somehow cure his disease, get him back the use of his degenerating leg muscles and bring him back to health. During their childhood years Megan and Devon were as alike as the saying ‘Two Peas In A Pod’ went. They looked so alike then (Megan once wearing her Dutch-blonde hair cut short to match her brother’s) that, at first glance, you didn’t know which one of the twins had just entered the room until they spoke to you (Megan’s voice being softer than her brother’s even then). They both were smart and good students at school. They enjoyed the same activities (both on the 4th grade soccer team one year) and liked the same foods. The only difference between them, before puberty arrived and noticeably changed their body configurations forever, was that Devon favored vanilla ice cream and Megan preferred chocolate. After puberty, of course, Megan and Devon’s alikeness changed dramatically. Megan, no longer the Tomboy, became much more prone to mood swings and emotional outbursts then cool headed Devon. She became more into frill and feminine things and developed into a very sweetly-dispositioned young lady while Devon became taller and stronger and more boisterous and competitive until his disease (that he thought he could keep at bay with macho activities) took hold and began to decimate him. Devon’s fatal diagnoses, just after his last admittance to Butterworth Hospital, was overwhelming to Megan and made her so inconsolable that she could not go to school for many days and just cried and cried in her room alone. It was her mother who came to her, a day before her brother was brought home, to both try and comfort her and to make her find the strength to be brave for her brother and help him through his final days. “Come on, Megan,” her mother told her as she sat next to her prone body, on the bed, and stroked her blonde tresses. “You have to pull yourself together for Devon. He so loves you and looks to you for joy in his life. You can’t show him such depression, honey. You have to be your usual, sweet, caring self and help raise your poor brother’s spirits in the final days left to him.” These words somehow didn’t bolster Megan but rather brought about another uncontrollable bout of shaking, wretched grief to her. “Please,” her mother said, rubbing her daughter’s back harder. “You have to stop this grieving now, Megs, or you’ll have me crying my eyes out again too. We have to help each other now. We all have to get through what the days ahead hold in store for us. None of us can possibly imagine how empty our lives will be without our dear Devon but, for now, we have to go on and we have to present a pleasant front for his sake and make his last days as pleasurable, for him, and as fulfilling as we can.” Megan was able, with much effort, to pull herself together and dress herself in a pretty sweater and skirt, for her brother, before he was delivered home and placed into the bed in his room. Both Megan and her mother fussed over him all day, reading to him and bringing him his lunch and snacks and watching the television, in his room, with him. Every wish of his was granted by his mother and his sister until his dad came home for dinner and then all three of them spent their time, in his room, with Devon. As bedtime approached, Devon’s mom, sister and father met in the hallway, outside of his door, and decided that Devon should not be left alone during the night. “What do you mean?” Megan asked when her father posed the statement. “Someone of us should be with him all night in case... in case...” “In case what, Daddy?” “Well, Megs... in case anything happens.” Tears started to trickle down Megan’s pretty cheeks now. “Anything happens?” Her mother spoke up at this time, adding, “Or just in case he needs anything in the night.” “Oh,” Megan said, wiping the wetness from her cheeks with the pink-nailed, tips of her slender, self-manicured fingers. “I’ll do it.” “You don’t have to,” her mother assured her. “Your father or I can just as easily sit up with him.” “No,” Megan said resolutely. “I’ll do it. I don’t mind and you and Daddy need your sleep. It will be no problem. I want to.” “Alright,” her mother said, squeezing her shoulder lovingly. “We’ll see you in the morning, my sweet, darling girl.” After composing herself and collecting her thoughts in the hallway, Megan entered her brother’s room and put on a sunny smile for him. “How are you doing, Dev?” she asked cheerily as she stepped to the bed and Devon, laying back on the prop of pillows that supported him up as he watched the TV. “I’m good,” he responded with a smile of his own. “No real pain and you and Mom and Dad have been so attentive to me. I feel like I’m taking advantage of you guys.” “Nonsense,” Megan replied. “We were all just fighting as to who was going to take care of you and I won the honor of staying with you for the night.” Devon looked his twin sister up and down for a moment, so much like him and yet so different now as she stood by his bed in her pink sweater and short, white skirt. They shared the exact same facial features – blue eyes, pert nose, prominent cheeks, pillow-like lips – but Megan’s features were softer and somewhat more child-like. Megan had uneven, blonde bangs above her full eyebrows while Devon’s hair was always a tousled mess. And, of course, Megan had breasts... pert-looking and separate under the cashmere material of her sweater... and pronounced, very feminine hips below her thin waist and above the full thighs of her sexy legs. For a moment Devon felt the blood flowing to his loins, as he looked at her, and his penis swelling hard beneath the fortunate cover of his blankets. He quickly diverted his gaze from the hemline of his sister’s short, curve-clinging skirt and looked back up at her pretty face, hoping that she hadn’t noticed where his gaze had been drawn. “What do you want to do,” she asked him sweetly now, “watch Leno or Letterman or see if there’s a movie on?” “We could do that,” he said, picking up the remote and turning the channels until he came to TCM. The movie “Splendor In The Grass”, with Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty, was just starting. Devon knew that it was one of his sister’s favorite movies so he suggested, “Let’s watch this together.” “Oh,” Megan waved her hand with dismissal, “we don’t have to watch that. It always makes me cry and you hate it.” “No,” Devon protested, “I want to. I want to watch this movie with you.” Megan came closer to the bed now. “If you’re sure...” “Yes. Very sure,” he said, patting the empty space, on the bed, beside him. “Come on, Megs, get up here and lay on the bed next to me, like we used to do when we were kids.” Megan emitted a sweet, girlish giggle at the memories of her and her brother as mischievous childhood playmates and then she sat herself tentatively on the bed, careful not to jostle her poor brother in his fragile condition before she carefully swung her feet up and lay herself back on the many pillows behind her. “There,” he said beside her, patting her bare knee. “Isn’t this cozy?” “Yes. Just like when we watched TV in your room when we were little and we were supposed to be sleeping in our separate bedrooms.” “Yeah. Mom or Dad would always catch us and send you back to your own room but they always gave us a little time to watch a program together.” “Not tonight though,” Megan told him. “Tonight I’ll be right here with you... all night. Just make sure that you wake me up if I fall asleep during the movie.” “I will,” Devon replied, patting his sister’s hands that she had folded together over her middle where the soft mound of her crotch would be, hidden under her white skirt. The notion of which again caused Devon’s penis to go instantly stiff. Damn that thing, Devon thought to himself, my damn legs hardly work or feel a thing and yet my crazy cock goes stiff as a board at such an inappropriate time. Devon withdrew his hand from her and folded his own hands over his loins to hide the tent-like rise in the covers. The twin siblings watched the movie in silence for a while, past the scene where Warren Beatty’s sister gives herself to the drunken boys in the rainy parking lot and then Megan placed her hand over her brother’s, over his lap, and asked him. “Dev, is there anything that you want?” It was quiet for a few moments as he thought about it. “No. I’ve eaten and I’m not thirsty or anything. I used the damn bedpan just before you came in.” “No,” his sister said, “I mean... is there anything, in your life, that you wanted badly and yet were never able to do?” “Well... we went to Disney World when we were both twelve...” “Yes. That was a fantastic couple of days.” “I’ve seen Washington and the monuments and Mom and Dad took us to the Grand Canyon...” “That was so scary looking over the rim.” “Yes, it sure was. I’ve taken a plane trip and have been on a train. I’ve done a lot of stuff. I guess I can’t complain on that score.” Megan turned her sweet, angel-like face to him on the pillows. “I’m glad Dev. I’m really glad for you. I would hate to think that you missed anything... anything in your life.” It was quiet again, for a time, and then Devon spoke but not at his sister. He more or less said up to the ceiling, “There is one thing that I have never done that I always longed for, really bad, ever since I was thirteen or so...” “What’s that, Dev?” Devon laughed a little as his face reddened. “Oh, I can’t tell you, Megs.” “What? Yes you can. You can tell me anything, Devon. We’ve never had secrets, have we?” “No, I guess not. But there are some things...” “What?” “Some things a guy just can’t share with his sister.” “Oh, pish, Devon,” she said, turning her body to him, on the bed, and putting her hand on his shoulder. “You can tell me anything. Anything at all.” “Well...” “Well, what?” she raised her eyebrows in query at him. “This is very embarrassing for me - for any guy - to admit but...” “Go on...” “Well... I’ve never been with a girl, Megs.” It was again quiet in the room except for the sound from the TV. Devon did not want to look at his sister. He did not want to see the expression on her face and whether it was sweet or sour. Then his sister spoke. “You’re saying that you’re a virgin?” Devon closed his eyes and nodded. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Dev. I’m a virgin too. I’ve never even kissed a boy except for Marky Thomas and he just kissed me on the cheek and ran off like a scared rabbit.” “Marky Thomas lived next door when we were nine.” “Yeah. It’s been a while. A girl doesn’t get many chances to be alone with a boy when we go to Grand Rapids Christian High School. Sometimes I think we’re practically Amish.” Devin chuckled at his sister’s observation and then added, “You got that right. Our mom and dad have been very strict with us, Megs. More so with you, of course. But that’s my confession and my regret.” “That you’re a virgin?” “That I’ll die never knowing what it was like... how it feels to make love to and... and to... to really have... sex with a real girl.” Megan’s voice became low and conspiratorial as she asked, “You’ve masturbated, haven’t you?” “What kind of a question is that from a guy’s sister?” “Well?” “Of course I have. Most teens do. Even nice, Christian Reformed ones. Haven’t you?” “Yes,” she admitted. “Yes, I have... alone, in my room, being excited and thinking about a cute boy at school. What about you?” “Yeah... but I was thinking about a cute girl at school.” “A cute girl? Which girl?” “Sarah Prins for one. Emily DeVries for another...” “Emily? You think she’s cute?” “Yeah. All the guys think so. They think you’re cute too, Megs.” “Me?” “Oh, yeah. I hear it all the time. You’re really foxy, they say, or they tell me that you’re a hottie. Though, of course, as your brother, I’ve never thought of you in that way.” “Ellen Sorensen once told me that she thought you were cute, Dev.” Devon sighed in despair. “She’d never give me the time of day though. Me, freaky Devon in his wheelchair.” “Oh, Dev. You’re no freak. You’re quite a good looking guy.” “Come on.” “You are! A disability is nothing.” “It is to girls in the real world, Megs. That’s why I’ve never had one. I never felt what it was like to hold a girl close and feel a girl and kiss a girl and... and actually enter a girl with my... my penis and feel what it was like to have sex with her.” “I suppose that it’s just like masturbating. Somewhat anyway,” she added, realizing as she said it, how untrue it really sounded. “Oh, I would bet that it’s far better with a member of the opposite sex. You couldn’t possibly get the same feeling with just your own hand.” “Well, my hand feels pretty good some times.” Devon turned his head to face his sister’s pretty, sweetly blushing face now on the pillow beside him and asked her, “Did you ever put anything inside you, to do it, like I’ve heard some girls do?” “Like what?” “A brush handle or... I don’t know... a carrot or something?” Megan laughed. “A carrot? That’s silly, Dev. Gosh, no. I just use my fingertips gently on my little clit.” “Clit? I don’t even know what a clit is or where it is. I’ve never seen one in person... a girl’s pussy I mean. Except for yours, of course, but that was when we were little kids at bath time.” “Well, it looks about the same as it did then... from what I see of it anyway. It has a little covering of dark-blonde hair now though.” “So does mine... around the base of my penis and my balls I mean.” There was another long silence as Devon and Megan just stared into each other’s blue eyes for a long while. Then Devon spoke. “Megs?” “Yes, Dev?” “Do you think I could... I mean, could I... would you let me...?” “Would I let you what?” “May I... see your pussy, Megan? See what it... what it looks like now?” “Devon,” she scolded him, “that’s a lot for a boy to ask a girl... any girl to do.” “But you’re not any girl, Megs. You’re a girl alright but you’re my sister. And I’m dying. I’m going to die without ever...” “Don’t say that, Dev,” she cut him off, putting her fingertips to his lips. “You’re not going to die. You’re going to get better. You are!” “No, I’m not,” he said resignedly, taking her hand from his face and holding it as he went on. “I haven’t got very long to go, Megs, and my one last request is to...” “Don’t say it, Dev. Please. You know that I can’t refuse you anything.” “Don’t make me beg you, Megs. You know what I want...” “Just to... to see my... my pussy?” Devon nodded. Megan looked around the bedroom and over at the closed door. She seemed to mull things over in her mind for a long while and then she sighed deeply and sat up in bed. If this was what her brother wanted... She didn’t say anything and neither did Devon as he watched her get up on her knees, beside him on the bed, and then she pulled the hem of her white skirt slowly up so that her brother could see her creamy-white, girlish, upper thighs come into view and then the pink and white horizontal striped bikini panties she was wearing. The site made Devon’s mouth go dry and his penis became so hard that it actually ached. Megan noticed the tenting of the blankets over her brother’s loins and she smiled at the power of her femininity and then she reached down, with both hands and pulled her panties slowly down to mid thigh, exposing the sparse, soft-looking, blonde hair at the mound of her pussy and the deep crevice separating the twin pads of her labia. “God,” Devon said breathlessly, as if he were looking at the world’s most precious gem, “it’s beautiful!” Megan let him feast his eyes for a few moments and then she reached down and used her fingertips to spread the down-covered lips slightly apart for him. The little nubbin of her clitoral hood now appeared all pink and dainty and moist-looking. Devon swallowed hard and licked his dry lips. “Is that..? Is that your clit?” Megan nodded. “Mm hum, my clitoris. It’s the most sexually receptive place on a girl. In fact, it’s the only human organ whose sole purpose is to generate pleasure.” “May I touch it?” Megan thought about that question for a time and then said, “I suppose so. But be careful. It’s very sensitive.” Devon reached up and over and gingerly pressed his middle fingertip into the cleft of his sister’s alluring pussy as she took her hands away from it. It was very warm and moist and dainty-feeling inside of her. Devon gently explored Megan’s notch for a few, precious moments before he probed his finger back to the hot, very slick opening of her vagina. “Ooh,” he said, excitedly as his finger pushed inward, “is this where a penis goes?” “Uh huh,” Megan nodded as she felt her brother’s fingertip deftly enter her, causing electric-like, sexual charges to race through her whole body from down at her loins. They could both hear the squishy sounds emanating from Megan’s pussy as her brother began to carefully finger-fuck her, feeling the restriction of her inner tightness and the obstruction of the silken membrane that was her hymen and guarded her virginity. “Oh, that feels so good,” Megan said dreamily, tilting her face upward but then pulling back her middle so that the tip of Devon’s finger came out all slick and chilling and aromatic with the intimate odor of female. “Too good,” she added, pulling down her skirt. “I can’t take much more of that or we’ll go too far and I’ll lose all control.” Sniffing the heady, girlish spice from his fingertip, Devon looked up at his pretty sister’s deeply blushing face and said, “God, Megs, I’m on fire for you. My cock is so hard right now.” They both looked down at the middle of Devon where the blankets stuck upwards like a highway cone. “Please, Megan,” Devon begged, “touch me a little now.” Megan turned her body toward her brother’s hips and then pulled his covers down to just past his loins. His penis had somehow found the loose opening of his pajama’s fly, all by itself, and was sticking proudly up now like a flesh-colored pole. Devon, for all his infirmity, had a huge, receptive, fully operational penis and it was engorged with warm blood and it’s mushroom-cap tip, now slick with precum, was perched atop eight inches of hard, throbbing shaft. “God, Dev! That thing is... huge!” Devon didn’t have to say anything as Megan wrapped as much of her hand around it as she could to grasp it. It was so thick that her thumb and fingertips didn’t quite meet around its circumference. Engrossed in what she was doing, Megan used both of her hands to hold it and began to work them slowly up and down it. Devon gripped blankets and sheets in his hands tightly as the pleasures of his sister’s manipulation began to make him delirious with pleasure and he wheezed, “Oh, don’t stop, Megs. It feels so wonderful!” Gently cradling his ball sack in one hand now, Megan continued to work his shaft up and down with the other, milking clear drops of pre-cum from him as she did so. Then, remembering what she’d heard (about girls performing such a nasty-sounding practice) and wanting to give her brother as much of a sexual thrill as she could, Megan bent her face over his member and took the tip of it into her lovely mouth, licking over it and softly sucking now, tasting the sweetness of his excited, sexual discharge. Devon had to choke back a scream as the hot pleasures of his own sister’s lovely mouth and tongue engulfed the tip of his burning shaft and he watched it disappear between the pillow-like lips of her angelic, rose-hued face. “I’m close, Megs,” he touched the back of her blonde head and warned her, not sure of how far she intended to go with this. “I’m going to cum if you keep doing that! I don’t want to cum this way for my only time,” he said as he felt his balls tighten and his cock about to erupt into his sister’s hot, sucking mouth. Not a moment too soon, Megan pulled back and watched as, despite his aborted orgasm, a small eruption of thick, milky liquid slowly oozed from the hole at the tip of his penis where it coated the bulb-like head and then dripped down his shaft toward her motionless, gripping hand. Like a little girl with an unruly ice cream cone she leaned down quickly to lick it all up before it made a mess. “It tastes salty and kinda bitter,” she observed, licking a thick drop from her lower lip and then swallowing it as he watched her in awe, “but why did you stop me, Dev? I knew what was going to happen and you could have done it in my mouth. I would have eaten it all for you.” “I don’t want a blowjob, Megs. I want to do it for real!” “Do it?” “I want to be inside of you, Megan. I... I want to feel what it’s like to really fuck a girl.” “Fuck? We can’t fuck, Dev. I’ve never fucked. Besides, I’m your sister. It’s incest. It’s wrong. It’s very wrong.” “Who is to say what is wrong? This will be my only chance, Megan. I will never have the opportunity again. What girl is going to come over here and do a dying cripple like me? None of them! And I need it! I want it so bad, Megs. Please,” he said, tears of frustration dripping from his eyes now as he pleaded, “give this one chance to me...” Megan looked into her doomed brother’s beseeching expression and then down at his rigid, pulsating sex organ and she made her decision. Scampering from the bed, she pulled her panties down to her feet and stepped out of them and then she unzipped and removed her skirt, pulled her sweater off and reached behind her to unfasten and remove her c-cup bra, allowing Devon now to see the full, naked glory of her beautiful, shapely, young, female body. Bending to the bed like a nurse performing her duties, she unbuttoned her brother’s pajama bottoms and then tugged them from under his buttocks and down his useless legs and off of him. Then she got onto the bed and straddled her brother’s prone body before reaching down, between her legs, to grasp his oozing, hard, sexual organ and guide it to the hot opening of her vagina. Working it around in the abundant slickness, that had gathered between the soft pads of her labia, she began to sit herself slowly down on it. “Oh God, Megs,” Devon quietly shouted from the sight and the sensation. “Yes! Yes!” It took quite a lot of effort as Devon was so large and hard and Megan was so tight and pristine and with an intact, gossamer-like hymen barring her sexual passage. Devon winced and cooed as he felt the contact of his sister’s hot sexual opening spreading wetly over the head of his engorged penis. He knew that she was going to be an almost impossibly tight fit but he could see the determination in his pretty sister’s tightly closed-eyed expression as she attempted to sit herself carefully down on top of him. Pain reflected in her eyes as, after taking barely the tip of him into her, she announced, “It’s so big and so hard, Dev! I can’t. I can’t do it. It won’t go into me.” “Oh, please don’t stop, Megs,” he pleaded below her, grasping her soft, warm, thin waistline to hold her in place. “Please don’t stop trying!” Megan pulled herself up a bit and grasped his shaft again, using his cockhead to spread more of her slippery, internal moisture within her feminine cleft before continuing to slowly settle her weight back down on his unyieldingly hard member. He felt the hot, rubbery, slickness engulf all of the head of his shaft now and then he heard the breath catch in his sister’s throat as her maidenhead snapped away and she began to sink slowly down onto him until he could feel the contact of, first her supple ass cheeks on his thighs, and then the firmness of her furry pussy-mound pressed against the bone of his pelvis. Devon’s sensitive penis was now fully up inside of Megan and it felt utterly sublime to him. A dream had come true for sure. The tightness of their sexual union caused them to stay still for quite a time and Devon ran his hands over his sexy sister, feeling her soft curves and her supple breasts and hard nipples before he pulled her face down to him and passionately kissed her mouth in gratitude. Megan had not expected a romantic kiss from her brother but welcomed it, parting her lips to take in his probing tongue. Their mouths seemed to fit together as precisely as their genitals and their tongues danced and sparred as they sucked at each other like only truly hungry lovers do. Devon hugged Megan’s curvy, soft, warm body tightly to him, his useless limbs unable to initiate any thrusting action even though his cock now burned with a violent urge to fuck her. Pulling back from their kiss, Devon mewled in a voice of lust, “Fuck me, Megan. I can’t do it. Let me really know what it feels like to fuck.” Megan sat up, supporting herself over her brother on her outstretched arms and she began to slowly gyrate her hips and press firmly downwards on him, taking her brother deeply into her and actually feeling the head of his cock pressing firmly against her cervix, deep within her firm belly. “Oh, God! It feels so wonderful,” Devon exclaimed as Megan closed her eyes to concentrate on all of these new sensations of sexual intercourse and she fucked him deeply and carefully for many long, slow, pleasure-filled minutes. The full feeling of hard, hot, throbbing cock, inside of her, and her hypersensitive clit working against his pubic bone was a hundred times the sexual sensation of merely playing with herself alone and she could soon feel the immense orgasm that was building within her as she doubled her efforts on him and fucked down even harder, taking him into her even deeper. In euphoric lust, Devon gripped his sister’s curvy hips in his hands so that he could feel the action of her sexy body fucking on him as his cock luxuriated in the heat of her tight, sexual passage. He could tell that his own orgasm was about to erupt and he was going to abandon himself to that feeling and just let it overtake and wash over him. “God, Dev, you’re so hard and it feels so good inside me,” she said in a dreamy voice of mostly breath. “I can’t hold back. I’m going to cum, Devon. I’m going to cum now!” “Do it, Megs!” he urged her. “I’m going to cum now too! Fuck, Megs! Fuck on me hard and do it. Cum for me!” It was Megan who came first, her orgasm gripping her like a tight, electric fist as the sexual exhilaration charged through her body and caused the inner walls of her vagina to clasp hard around her brother’s rigid penis in continual, strong, velvety contractions. The internal gripping of his cock was enough to send Devon over the edge and he began to cum hard too, his cock pulsating as it injected copious streams of scalding, pressurized semen deep into his own sister’s taut-muscled belly. Devon let go of her hips and gripped the soft cones of both of her firm breasts tightly as he pumped his sperm inside of her clamping, receptive vagina for many long, thrillingly intense, seconds. It was indeed the best orgasm that he had ever experienced. Totally depleted now and out of breath, Megan could do nothing but collapse fully on top of her twin brother and pant in blissful exhaustion, feeling his chest rise and fall, under her, with his excited, labored breathing. “That was for you, Devon,” she whispered softly into his ear, tenderly kissing his cheek as she added, “because I love you.” Devon wrapped his arms around his soft, warm, naked sister and whispered sincerely back to her, “Thank you for that, Megs. I love you too.” Those were the last words that Devon Jansen ever uttered. Soon after she felt his cock deflate and slip from her vagina, Megan became aware that her brother was no longer panting or even breathing under her and, in a sudden panic, she jumped up and off of his still, lifeless body and quickly pulled on her skirt and sweater, from the floor, drew Devon’s blankets up to cover his nakedness and then ran from the room to summon their parents. 911 was called and an ambulance and the paramedics arrived but, after working over him for more than ten minutes, Devon was pronounced dead at the scene. His heart had given out. In all the excitement nobody had noticed the abandoned bra on his bed or the pink-striped panties on the floor of his room or questioned the milky fluids and blood smears around the area of his lions or the small, moist, crimson spot on the sheet below his buttocks. The family was again plunged into deep anguish which lasted right through the week of the arrangements, the visitation and the funeral. Megan was hit the hardest by the grief. Grief doubled by the fact that she blamed herself fully for causing her brother’s death, knowing that the exertion of sex and the excitement of orgasm had been too much for him. She should have thought, she told herself. She should have realized. She never should have done such a reprehensible and immoral thing with her own brother. Why, oh why had she done it? God himself had punished the both of them for their mortal sin, she realized, by immediately striking him dead and bringing such a burden of heavy guilt onto her. Guilt that she just couldn’t bear. She couldn’t eat. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t get dressed. She couldn’t function at all and she spent each day just crying. Crying and wearing nothing but her plaid, flannel pajamas that her mother couldn’t even get off of her to launder. “Megan Anne, you have to pull yourself together and stop this,” her mother told her as she picked up the debris from her daughter’s formerly spotless room. “Get over it, Megs. It wasn’t your fault that your brother passed away and crying won’t bring him back to us. Nothing ever will.” This just brought more tears gushing from Megan’s eyes as she lay, on her side, facing the wall and crying all the harder. “And you’re starting to smell, girl. Get up and get into the tub, Megs. A nice soak will make you feel better and do you so much good.” Once her mother had left the room, Megan thought the better of it and stripped off her malodorous, flannel pajamas and collected her robe as she walked determinedly to the bathroom to do what had to be done. Searching the medicine cabinet, Megan found one of her father’s old razor blades, eight aspirins, two valium tablets and a prescription bottle containing five of her mother’s strong sleeping pills and she put all of the pills in the tight fist of her left hand and took them to the bathtub with her, determined to end this nightmare right here and now. Lying back in the scalding hot water, Megan stared at her left wrist for long minutes, holding the dull blade in her other trembling hand and weeping for all that she was worth. However she was far too much of a coward to actually cut herself. Crying, wet, naked and bent double in failure and grief, she struggled to the sink and quickly took all the aspirin, the valium tablets and the five sleeping pills, washing them down with water from the filmy, bathroom glass. Her mind in a cloudy blur, Megan dragged herself into her bed and, shivering cold, pulled her bedclothes up and over her head to shut out the world and await the certainty of her chosen fate. She was both surprised and disappointed when she awoke, the next afternoon, with the late-day sun streaming through her bedroom window and the sounds of birds chirping merrily outside in the trees. The crying jags continued for another month, soon accompanied by stomach cramps and bouts of extreme nausea and vomiting, even though there was nothing in her stomach for her to throw up. This alarmed her parents enough so that they took her to the family doctor who examined her thoroughly and found that her vomiting was merely morning sickness. Megan was nearly two months pregnant and, to his estimation, was due around the end of December. This news was even more devastating to the devoutly Christian Reformed Jansen family. “How could you?” her mother screamed at her as they arrived home after a silent drive. “And you must have gotten yourself knocked-up just after your own, dear brother died. You common trollop! How could you?” “This is a huge dishonor on our family,” her father shouted at her now. “How can we ever show our faces in church again? Everyone will be staring at us. And who is the boy who you allowed to do this to you? We demand to know.” “I... I can’t say,” Megan replied, sniffing and crying piteously and in near hysteria now. “You can’t say or you won’t?” “I... I... I can never say...” “You had us fooled. We thought that you were such a sweet, beautiful, caring young lady. Now we find out that you’re nothing but a slut, Megan,” her father spat the words at her. “A filthy, little, worthless whore!” “And a disobedient bitch,” her mother added. “We just won’t have you in our house another minute reminding us daily of your despicable sin.” Despite her wretched crying, Megan’s parents pushed her roughly to the front door and then outside into the cold rain, tossing her jacket and some of her things out after her. Homeless now and despondent, Megan wandered the wet streets of the neighborhood, crying her eyes out until she came to her friend Ellen’s house and knocked timidly on the front door. The woeful sight that the Sorensen family found standing on their porch, crying in the pouring rain, was too much for anyone to bear and Mr. and Mrs. Sorensen immediately took Megan in, toweled her off, found her some dry clothes to wear and put her into Ellen’s room to bunk with their daughter. Having always wanted a sister, Ellen was happy to have her friend there with her and the Sorensens cheered Megan up and made her feel much better. Things even got to the point where Megan could go almost a full day without dwelling on the fate of her brother, her desperate condition, or her broken family and her eyes nearly dried of their tears. That is until Megan’s clothes started to become too tight on her and her belly began to noticeably swell. Certain that they would sooner or later discover her shame, Megan told Ellen and her parents that she was indeed pregnant, fully aware that the admission would more than likely put her out on the street again. After listening, the Sorensens sent the girls upstairs. “That poor child,” Mrs. Sorensen said to her husband once they were alone. “First she loses her brother and then some awful boy takes advantage of her grief and leaves her pregnant with his child. We have to keep her here with us, Neil. It’s the Christian thing to do.” “Yes,” he said, “of course you’re right.” And Megan stayed with the Sorensens all through that Summer. Mrs. Sorensen became a foster mother to Megan and they went to second-hand stores together to buy maternity clothes and baby needs. Mrs. Sorenson even took Megan to childbirth classes at the community clinic. The Sorensens were wonderful but they weren’t Megan’s own, sorely missed and much-beloved family. Megan walked past her old house dozens of times but never caught a glimpse of her parents. One time she even drew up her courage and rang the front doorbell and heard her parents’ hushed voices inside the house and saw someone peek through the window curtain at her but nobody came to answer the door and Megan’s inner ache and tears came anew and all the stronger. As the Fall season approached, a very pregnant Megan tried to contact her mother and father by phone but, on hearing her voice, the phone slammed down in her ear. Despite her love of school, Megan had to drop out because an unwed pregnant girl would have been shunned by the other students and teachers alike. Not to mention the fact that GRCS was a private school and her parents had cut off her funding. Making sure that her best friend kept up, Ellen brought home her own books and lessons and recordings that she made of class lectures and Megan kept up with her studies in that way. As the weather became cold and the days grew short, Megan became so depressed that Ellen could feel and hear the sounds of her weeping beside her, in the bed, and wished that there was something that she could do to ease her friend’s almost constant, mental anguish. Even the kicking of the new life, that she carried within her, didn’t seemed to bring Megan any joy or comfort. Ellen’s grandparents were both curious about the very pretty but sad, obviously pregnant, girl whom the Sorensens had invited to share their Thanksgiving holiday table with them. She had not stayed past the saying of the family’s blessing though when, eyes dripping with profuse tears, she excused herself and ran from the dining room. Christmas Eve finally came and Mr. and Mrs. Jansen stood before their sparse Christmas tree and looked at the very few presents laying there. They were now to themselves, the past year bringing both the death of their beloved son and the banishment of their only daughter. Sadness seemed to overtake the both of them suddenly as they thought about how happy their little family used to be, at Christmas, and how much Devon and Megan brought cheer and merriment to everyone and everything and enjoyed giving (as much as receiving) gifts. “I miss them, Lars,” Mrs. Jansen suddenly admitted out loud to her husband. “I miss my boy and my girl so much.” Mr. Jansen put his arm around his wife’s shoulders and hugged her just as the phone rang and Mrs. Jansen ran to it, hoping that it was again her estranged daughter, on the other end, so that she could tell her that all is forgiven and to come home. It wasn’t Megan. It was Mrs. Sorensen saying, “Mrs. Jansen?” “Yes.” “It’s Ellen’s mother, Jayney.” “Yes, Jayney, what is it?” “It’s about your daughter...” “Megan? Yes? Is she alright?” “She’s in the hospital, Mrs. Jansen.” “Oh, God! Is she sick? Has she been hurt?” “She’s had a baby, Mrs. Jansen. Late this afternoon. A boy. Nine pounds and six ounces and very healthy with all of his fingers and toes.” “Oh my God!” “She wants to see you and her father. She needs her own mother very much right now Mrs. Jansen. She’s at St. Mary’s.” Eyes wet with tears, Mr. and Mrs. Jansen hurried to their car and rushed to the hospital to reunite with their daughter and meet their Christmas gift from Megan; their blonde-headed grandson whom Megan had named Devon Lars Jansen. He looked like a Christmas gift too, laying in his little hospital bassinet, beside his mother’s bed. The attending nurses had wrapped him in a red blanket adorned with a white, velvet ribbon and a large, matching bow and had put an elfin-like Santa hat on his tiny head. The Jansens were immediately in love with the newborn baby and took many turns holding him and hugging Megan and resolving to take both their beautiful daughter and their wonderful grandson home as soon as they were released. From then on it was never asked, by anyone, who the father of Megan’s baby was (and never told) but the little boy was the spitting image of his Uncle Dev and everyone thought so. It was as if he had been returned to the family and had made them whole again and they all loved him very much and lived, ever after, most happily. |
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