Me and my life through sex, pain and discovery.
I'm a brazilian girl with a pretty tortuous and weird life. I'm just seeking somewhere to tell some parts of my life, because these things I like I have no one to share. The story is not entirely true because I have to protect my identity so I changed a lot of facts and the order they occur, but descriptions about the acts and about myself are all true.
And I'm not very good in english language so please be patient with my poor grammar and errors, ok?
Let me know if you like it and I'll keep writing. Any comment or critic is really appreciated.
(I'm really sorry for those who read the first one. I’m having problems with accents and putting them right. Also I'm adding the second part, as I saw just one part is pretty short for this site. )


One day, while I was looking for some kind of exercise, my cousin suggested me to start on Karate. As he was the martial artist figure of the family, I thought it was a normal thing for him to say, at least until he said "I talked to a friend of mine. He will take good care of you". That said by the only person who really knows me, with that particular malicious voice, I got really curious.

Three days later I was on my kimono, my long dark brown hair in ponytail, waiting for my first class. There was almost twenty people already practicing when I got there. Almost everybody interrupted what they were doing to see the noobie. Some polite smiles later I was introduced to the "sensei", my cousin’s friend.

Nothing really special. A common guy with large shoulders and really short hair, reminded me one of those UFC fighters I saw on TV days earlier. But as he stood up front with that black belt, he was giving orders. I went through the first class normally, and it was kinda fun.

Next day I woke up aching all over because of those extra exercises and the day after I went to my second class. That day was different. Instead of letting me do the accompanied parts with another beginner, sensei ordered me to do that part with him. It was then that I noticed how strong and well built he was, on the cusp of his thirties. Like he could really hurt me with a simple movement, and that really turned me on.

Time or another I could see him staring, even trying to glance through the opening at the upper part of my kimono when I got closer to do some exercises. I was wearing a small gym blouse underneath, without a bra, what marked my small breasts and nipples.

So, at the end of the class, I was packing up my stuff while almost everyone was gone, except me, the sensei and a graduated student, another black belt. Then I thought it was about time to really meet him, so I came closer and kinda intruded into the conversation. They were pretty nice to me, as I expected, and I started trying to get even more attention.

"So... I don't know if it is a good idea for me to keep practicing. I need something a little more feminine. Preferably something like a self defense course, you know. More practical for me than trying to punch and kick a guy who tries to grab me" I said, and it was partially true. I'd probably think twice before reacting.

"We have self defense included in Karate. I can show you really good maneuvers" He said, sounding really confident and looking to his student, waiting for support. The guy nodded enthusiastically.

"Can you show me something now?" I asked.

He said yes at the same time his student said he needed to go. Conveniently just sensei and me left in the tatami.
So he started showing me some arm-locks and stuff, things I could take years to learn. So I said "Nothing more practical to teach me?" and he turned around and grabbed me from behind, as if he were some kind of rapist, then slowly taught me how to get rid of him. I dropped him to the ground two times easily.

"It looks very easy. Does it work against everybody?" I asked, really excited about it.
"Almost" He answered.
"If you try to grab me for real, does it work? I'm kinda alone here, you know..." I said laughing and letting my hair down. I saw him inflate, right in front of my eyes.
"Wanna try for real?" He asked playfully.
"Sure, why not" I answered turning my back and waiting for him to grab me.

Everything went completely normal, and when his arm was almost completely around my neck, I did as he taught me.

In a question of seconds I was in the ground, with him on my back. I was completely helpless. My skinny body, 119 Lbs divided by 5'8" height, being pressed against the tatami by an enormous guy.

I barely could breath as I said "So, what now?"
"Now I have to immobilize you" He said, holding both my arms with one of his, and sliding his hand, patting my belly really slow, until he reached my belt.
I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins, as I decided to already be motionless while he tied my hands with my own belt.

When done, he approached my face through my back, doing even more weight on my chest. I gasped the little air I had in my lungs while he said smoothly, close to my right ear "Your cousin said that, if you kept surrounding me, I could use you as my little plaything".

I shivered strongly. That's what he meant with I talked to a friend of mine. He will take good care of you. I didn't knew what to do. The only thing I knew I wouldn't do, would be start screaming.

He got up and went to the dojo door, locked it and returned to lay over me again.

So, as I kept silent, he understood it as some kind of consent and started trying his luck, taking advantage of my already opened kimono, sliding his hand through my belly and rising to grab firmly my right breast. All my skin tingled, like some kind of alert, when his fingers found and pinched my nipple. I groaned loud and struggled under him, while those rock-hard finger tips squeezed my already hard nipple. He stopped, laughing, while I breathed hardly, my hair covering my face and my teary eyes.

"Whoa! That was a really good start. I'd never imagine such beauty falling in my lap that way, you know. I'm gonna take good care of you." He said as he massaged my tiny breast. "Let's try down here" he said, his hand down to my panties. As he touched me for the first time I trembled even more, and this time he felt it. "Sensitive you, huh?" He laughed as two of his fingers opened my petals, so that a third finger could enter me mercilessly. I squirmed as I could, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.
"What a tight little pussy. Luck for us that you're already wet down here." He said, while I could feel his finger slipping in and out of my tiny slit. "Your cousin said that, apart from fucking you, I could do whatever I wanted to you. I didn't believed him at first, but after today, after seeing the way you enjoyed me forcing you..." While talking, he stopped playing with my pussy, clutched the top edge of my panties and began to pull it up, pushing against my groin. I felt nothing but a little discomfort. Then he joined the edges of my panties in line, folding it, just above my crack. "Cousin is keeping this sweet little cunt of yours to himself?"

As I kept silent, he grabbed the edge of my panties and pulled up hard. The thick line of fabric slipped through my labia, roughly rubbing and hurting my vagina.

"No, no!" I screamed.
"No, what?" He asked putting even more pulling strenght.
"He-he is not fucking me! Stop please!" I cried, and he stopped.
"So why the hell can’t I fuck you?" He asked, and as I didn't answered he proceeded "Ok. I'm beginning to understand how you work. It's all a game for you, isn't it? So let's play a new game. Let me fuck hard that little fuck hole of yours or I'll pull this up until we figure out who rips first".

Even though I was excited, and I was a lot, I couldn't let him fuck me. The only real fear I have about all this is end all loose like an old whore. Enjoying pain like me, I figured that it could be only a matter of time. It was good that my cousin defined this ground rule. Without it I'm sure he would be already trying to fuck my brains out, and I have no idea if I could stop him before destroying my insides. If he wants to rip me apart, so be it. In some time the skin should heal... I guess.

"So, that’s your answer?" He asked starting to make pressure again and gradually applying more strength. "Ok, then. Your call." I felt his waist moving in top of me as he was taking position, I felt his hands grabbing my panties back and front and suddenly his arm furiously pulling up my panties and the thick line of fabric turning thin, sinking violently into my pussy.

I screamed louder as I could, shrugging my shoulders and trying to bear with that burning pain in my crotch, trying to rip my cunt open. Then he stopped and, even before I could breathe, he was forcing it up again with full strength. I groaned through gritted teeth while my legs started to shake wildly. I was losing myself to the pain.

That was hell. I was in pain, lots of pain, with a big man laid over me grunting pleasured by the agony he was inflicting on me. Folded that way, my panties would not tear. And he realized that, and then began to pull it forward and backward, like he was trying to saw me in half, with plans to intensify my pain. I could feel warm liquid flowing through the improvised silk rope my panties were turn into, just couldn't figure out if it was my juices or if it was already blood.

"Stooop pleeease! Stooooooop!" I screamed, squirmed and cried until a point that I felt myself breaking. It was inevitable "Fuck me! FUUUCK MEEE!"

He stopped, giving a loud sigh, and then stood.

"I'm not fucking you. I promised your cousin, remember? I must be loyal to a person who gives me a nice gift like that." He said in a satisfied tone, while I was lying broken on the floor. "Now you go home and get ready for the next class. And always remember: I’m in charge here."

"Yes... Sensei..." I said obediently.


Two days.
That was the time I had to prepare myself for the second round.
Fortunately nobody could tell why I was walking so slowly lately. As they could tell, the karate classes did this to me. They were partially right.

Excitement mixed with fear and desire permeate these two days in a way that I simply couldn't explain. I knew he would hurt me and, even scaring me like hell, I wanted it. I wanted to feel a higher power dominating me, possessing me, bringing me the real feeling, bringing me pain - the only thing that connects me to the world - asking nothing but pleasure in return. I always get me wondering why I'm so afraid of some things if my own life means so little for me. I'd never had an answer.

Two days and I was there again.
I came quietly, less talking and smiling, than the first times. Some people noticed, but I said I was just a little indisposed. Then I heard a hoarse voice coming behind me "Nothing like some training to cheer you up". People around us smiled. I just stayed looking at him, didn't even knew what my face was expressing, but I saw that he liked it.

The class happened normally, he didn't even got close to me, and I practiced like nothing had happened. I even laughed in some parts where me and the other white belts simply couldn't do as he asked us. But as soon as I figured out that the class was heading to its end, the anticipation made me nervous.

People was leaving and I was finishing to pack my stuff, like the other day, but I couldn't keep it like that. Soon everyone would be talking about my late departures, and if my aunt hear about it, no more karate, for sure. He should have noticed, cause he approached and said "Hey you. Your cousin said he left a magazine that he borrowed me at his apartment. Can you bring it to me? I have to show it to another class tomorrow". The perfect excuse to come back a little later. I said bye to the people in the surroundings and ran into the building on the left. My place, actually my aunt's apartment, and the dojo were neighbors.

To my surprise I didn't only found a sports magazine at the hall's table, but met my cousin there, ready to leave.

"Preparing for fun, little cousin?" He said, wearing his motorcycle jacket and gazing at me.
"We didn't had the chance to talk about it yet, did we?" I said.
"I know you're enjoying it. That's what matters. And he's pretty satisfied too." He said almost enthusiastically. "He was saying that never had such a beautiful girl to play with. 'Small breasts and skinny but really tight and gorgeous' those were his words. Even asked the real color of your eyes, as he couldn't figure if they're green or blue. He even stopped complaining about not being able to fuck you..."
"Ok, just shut up. Will you?"
"Ok. We talk later, don't let your master waiting" he said sarcastically.
"He's not my master, he's my sensei..." I said, picking the magazine at the table.
"Oh, sure, sure." He said laughing, while we both were leaving the apartment.

When I got back no one was there, except from sensei and the black belt from the other day. They were speaking closely, at the center of the tatami, and as I approached they stopped talking and the guy walked away, looking at me like he knew something.

As soon as he crossed the door he locked it. The metallic sound of the locker echoed through my senses, made me almost numb. It was about to start again.

Sensei came closer and extended his hand, wanting the magazine, which he curled into a pipe.
"I'll put away the magazine. When I get back I want you naked, got it?" He asked.
Naked? Already? I just stood there, thinking.
"Got it?" He repeated, beating the magazine in my forehead.
I nodded and he went away, headed to the small room attached to the dojo. My thoughts travelled between obey and move on or disobey and find out what he would do with me in this case. I chose the second.
When he left the room and saw me still wearing my gi... I really did not expect that reaction.
He ran into me. When I figured what was to come, I turned and tried to fled, with no success.
He gave me a foot sweep and I tripped, hardly falling in the tatami. Seconds later he was at the same position of the first time, laid over me. Pressing his hips against my butt and his chest over my back, but this time he wrapped his arms around my neck and started strangling me.
"No! Wait!" I begged, hitting the tatami.
"I command here! I tell you what to do and you obey!" He said apparently out of his mind, while I struggled, not being able of breathing and feeling a tingling sensation in my face. I was desperate as I felt my consciousness leaving me.

When I woke I was cold. The first thing I discovered was that I was completely naked, the second, that I was tied, hands in my back and feet tied together, lying on my side. He was standing next to me and saw as I woke.
"I still could see the marks from our last meeting. Love these beautiful red marks." He said while staring at me, at my nude body. I felt my face get hot with shame just from thinking about how he should have seen and taken advantage of me while I was unconscious.
"Had a good sleep?" He asked and I said nothing, just stared at the floor, my hair covering part of my face.
"I was already missing this game of yours" he said while bending my legs, knees over my chest, then passing a rope between the back of my knees and my neck, to keep myself in that position. I just moaned softly by discomfort and nothing more... Until he hit the first slap in my exposed crotch.
"Ouch!" I cried when the first slap loudly struck between my ass and my inner thigh.
He just kept slapping my ass and pussy, not mattering how I cried and screamed, until it turned red. Some times he kept his hand extended in the air before hit, just to wait me beg him to stop and delight with my apprehensive face, just to deny and hit me hard. My skin was burning - his hand seemed like a tennis racket. It was completely different from scenes I've seen in the Internet. There beatings were apparently softer, but he was hurting me for good, like the first time, not even caring if I was having pleasure or if it was just almost unbearable pain. The only thing in his defense was that, if he asked me, i shouldn't be able to answer as well.

After some time I wasn't even able to differentiate one blow from another.
"Ahh... Owwwww.... Aaaaaargh..." I squealed progressively, as he kept spanking me, spreading my legs to the maximum the rope allowed to have a clear shot at my already swollen pussy, his favorite target.
Just the sound and the impact were different but the pain was continuously the same.

I just stopped screaming and closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and began to cry and breath at the same pace he was beating me without mercy. Then something made him stop. Maybe he saw in my face, quitting and completely wet of tears, that it was already too much for me. At this moment I knew I was really hurt. I couldn't feel my pussy, pain took it from me.

He began to massage my ass then my pussy, both completely bruised, with those hands that felt like sandpaper. Rubbing rough, like he was trying to scrape me. I writhed in pain, pressing my face against my knees and feeling he spreading the hot liquid that oozed from me on my burning skin.

When he saw me clenching my fingers, trying to endure it, he intensified his movement, focusing on my clit. I was having spasms and breathing terribly fast, feeling pleasure and agonizing pain. Hyperventilating and starting to loose consciousness again. Stuck somewhere between hell and heaven. And before I passed out, he stopped.

"Time to get some use for this pretty face of yours" he said, untying the rope that kept my legs stuck to my neck. I just kept still in the floor, completely exhausted. But he lifted me, putting me on my knees, my hands still tied behind my back. I groaned loudly when my heels touched my cunt.
"I already noticed your tongue piercing. Let's see if you’re prepared for what's next" And he stripped off pants right in front of me.

His cock wasn't that big, but was really, really thick.
"Open your mouth and if you even try to bite me I'll kill you, understood?" he said, and I was so tired of being spanked, so tired of crying, that I just opened my mouth for him to enter, and he did. I was no new at blowjobs. My first blowjob was at age 14, I was 19. Even being a lot thicker than anything I've ever put in my mouth, when he started moving, I started doing my thing and I was doing it good, as he started groaning loud. But without any warning he just shoved it all the way in my throat. I immediately choked, it was too thick for me, but he kept forcing his entry, regardless if I could breathe or not. When he decided to take it off I was already squirming like crazy, and it came out with lots of spit and cough.

"First deepthroat, huh?" he said and pulled his dick towards my face again, while I was still coughing and gasping for air. I tried to fight for some more time, but he fiercely pulled my hair and invaded my mouth again. This time alternating between forcing his cock against the inside of my cheek, like he was trying to rip my mouth open, and using my throat as a fuck hole. I could feel the muscles of my throat trying to fight back, expel that huge thing that was raping me, with no success. The more I squeeze the more he seemed to grow inside me. I could hear my own noises, while he fucked my throat as a pile driver. I squirmed, feeling my stomach revolting, my throat aching and feeling suffocated but it seemed far from ending...

But it suddenly begins to pulsate, he shoved all the way in until my lips touch his pubis and a gush of his warm load exploded deep inside my throat. I felt that gooey acid thing squirting, being shot rightly into my stomach. When he finished he just got out of my mouth and let my hair go, what made me fell away slowly with my face on the mat.

I had lost completely the sense of time when he started cleaning me with a wet towel. I kept quiet, groaning occasionally as he passed through the injured areas, feeling weird about the caring he was having, but it didn't last. Soon as he finished with my butt cheeks, he suddenly pressed a fingertip in my ass, and when I gasped and contracted he stopped.

"You have four days to our next class. I want you to learn to use an enema, and want you completely clean for the next class. Got it?"

To be continued...

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