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It was hard for me, at first, to understand why I felt this way. I loved the way I craved bareback cock in my faggot asshole, I loved how much I wanted every cock that fucked my gay pussy to empty load upon load of hot, gooey, molten cum deep inside my throbbing and aching man pussy. But wait, that wasn’t what I was having trouble understanding.

What happened was, as I began my cock-riding career back at the tender age of 14, it was the early 70’s, still some of that free love, drugs, sex and all that still wafted around in the air from time to time.

The last thing any of us did was worry about protection. I had a pretty exclusive list of guys I let fuck me at that age. The guy who first fucked me, Wayne, then Art and Danny, and a guy named Robert, which was a little weird because that is my father’s name. That was about it until I got into high school. So we all barebacked together and never used condoms.

Then when AIDS and HIV came along, that kind of put the damper on the free love and sex stuff, for a lot of people, but not all. See, even when in the mid/late 80’s when it was so heavily aimed at us gays, I was still barebacking! I hadn’t used a condom and didn’t want to start either. If I wanted latex in me I’d use my dildo!

It helped that I was a very cute, boy next-door look to me and that turned on guys to no end! Even at 18 and 19, I looked 14 or 15, guys like the young looking but legal to fuck twinks like me. I like being flat chested, no real muscles on my pecs but I feel like I have tits when I’m on all fours getting fucked, my little fag boobies swinging in the air. Guys just wanted to fuck me and some guys wanted me to fuck some of their friends, that was where I really felt at home…a bunch of guys, hard cocks, anonymous sex, all bareback, all loads deep in my asshole! That’s what I do, I’ll ride any cock that wants to fuck me, and I mean, ANY, cock.

I’ve fucked straight, bi, gay dudes, (when I say fuck, I mean me getting fucked), by every race, I love black cock! (and they’re one of the highest risk factors for having AIDS), I love cum in me and how it feels shooting out of a twitching cock and balls that are emptying their payload deep inside my cunt hole.

I’ve cruised for cock and cum everywhere! Some of the more successful hook up places I’ve found over the years are the usual rest areas, truck stops are good places to find cock, the adult book stores, with arcades/peep shows. I like serving glory holes, for true anonymous bareback sex. I just love feeling those cum-filled cocks throbbing and twitching as they empty their cum, and who knows what else, deep inside my asshole.

I love the quick, behind the truck, just unbutton my pants, slide them down just enough to expose my rosebud for entry and take a cock until they unload kind of scenarios. I like it raw, I like it dry, work that cock into my hole dry, maybe a little spit if the cock is super big, but I like the unplanned, I’m going in dry like it or not. Plus it stretches the skin around my asshole more. With lube, it all slides in and out nice and easy; but dry, that sphincter skin gets stretched out really quick and it will usually tear a little bit and maybe bleed some. This is good because when his cock empties inside my hole, his DNA will infect me directly into the blood stream, quicker seroconversion.

Sure, I’ve thought about AIDS, I mean, I know how you get it, I’m not ignorant, I mean, geez, I’ve got a 166 IQ and I love the risk of bareback sex and the possibility of getting AIDS!

It was a gradual process for me. The natural bareback sex was great, most guys honestly don’t want to use condoms, and realistically, the majority of risk is assumed by the bottom, the one receiving the cum. It is much more difficult for a poz bottom to infect a neg top than the other way around.

So I was taking all the risk, the one taking all the hot, yummy cum in my asshole. I was probably 30 years old when I started seriously looking to get diseases, and the big POZ! It was always a risk, you had a 50/50 chance, they either had it or not, but it was such a huge risk that it became a turn on, not knowing. And the fact that I was into anonymous sex made the mention of having an STD nearly meaningless. Everyone says they’re clean, but who knows? You take a poz cock in your asshole and say you test in a month or two, you could come back neg still, there are so many variables, so many ways you could’ve been infected and you say because you got a neg test back that you’re clean. You could test poz in a couple more months or whenever and already be spreading HIV/AIDS! So all the haters out there going on about how sick people like me are, at least I’m up front about it and don’t skirt the issue!

Now I’ll tell ya. Without being too bold, I do have a nice ass and everyone wants to fuck it, and I realize now that way back when, I would be actively bug chasing and looking for AIDS and guys would come up to me at parties or sex clubs when I asked them if they were poz, they knew I was chasing and of course said yes so they could fuck me. If all the loads I took that were supposedly poz were really poz, I’d have died years ago! So many guys lie about having AIDS just so they can fuck you. I mean, I have to fuck them, just in case they do have AIDS they will infect me. But I’ve never tested poz after all the cock and DNA-filled cum that’s been shot into my fag hole, it’s weird, if I hadn’t been chasing I’d probably have gotten AIDS right off; now that I’ve been chasing all these years and had only neg results, seems like no one is seeding or gifting.

The why??? Well, who wouldn’t ask that. And for the most part, it’s simple. I’m never going to use condoms, I don’t care what disease is out there!!! Plain and simple, I’m a barebacker for life, however long that may be. Every cock that pierces my asshole cums in me, if possible, and I work my faggot ass hard to milk every drop of cum from my lover’s cock. The odds are that one of those beautiful cocks is going to have AIDS, and per my bareback rule, will infect me with AIDS sooner or later. So why not enjoy it? Seek it out, steer towards it and see what happens?

I have so many fantasies about how I get AIDS. From the simple one cock stealth, they fuck me raw and cum in me and as they dress and leave, me laying in a puddle of cum, they tell me they have AIDS as they walk out the door, that is a good, basic turn on for me.

Then I have the rape fantasy. I want to be walking down a dark alley, late at night, dirty, wet, smelly, homeless guys, and a gang of black thugs that rape my asshole and (sorry, this isn’t meant to be racist in any way, just my sick fantasy) but I want all of the black guys to have really toxic AIDS and all of them to take turns raping me over and over, dumping every drop of their AIDS infected cum deep inside my greedy fag hole.

I also have one where I’m riding the biggest cock ever, like a foot long, thick and fat, full of cum. I’m getting fucked six ways to Sunday, all over, doggy style, missionary, me on top, on our sides, picking me up and fucking me while holding me, just every fucking thing you can do, and hard, rough and nasty. I love being degraded and called names!

So he’s fucked me up and down and 20 seconds before he shoots his load, he’s behind me doggy, holding my hips and pulling me hard onto his cock, he says he’s getting ready to shoot and I tell him to empty his load deep in me. He pumps me a few more times and says, “Oh, I forgot to tell you…..I have AIDS!” and I’m all in the groove, taking his massive cock balls deep, precum oozing all around my hole, and he tells me he’s got AIDS in the middle of such a good fuck.

What do you do? Jump off? I mean, his cum had to get inside a little, so what the fuck? Give up a huge cock and still get AIDS? Go for it! I plunge back on his cock harder than before as I feel his cock twitch and he moans, “Aah! Yeah, gonna cum! Gonna fill you up with AIDS faggot!” and I just slam back harder and harder onto his cock and when his toxic load of AIDS finally erupts deep inside me, I can feel it spray my insides, and it makes me quiver and I push back hard to take him all the way in as he empties his cum deep inside me.

I have another one where I go to the baths, the mega-plex in Providence, Rhode Island, a gay sex club. It’s my first time and I go inside, get a room, it’s early, I throw my keys and shit in a locker and get ready to get fucked!

The baths are a notorious breeding and seeding ground for AIDS transmission, or conversion, or seroconversion, however you want to put it. I subscribe to poz websites for guys who want to spread AIDS and guys who want to get it, and they have ads where guys say they have AIDS and are going to the baths at such and such a time. So I read on there where four guys were going to poz all the neg holes who wanted AIDS. I decided this was my night. I was in my room, kept it dark, anonymous. I wanted to be ready for the four poz cocks if they all showed up.

For an appetizer, a few guys come in my room, ask what I want and when I say anything, they mount up, pump my hole, cum deep inside me and leave my room! How perfect is that?!

The first of the four poz cocks comes in my room, we’re alone, he jabs a couple of fingers up my asshole, it’s loose, it’s wet with cum and ready for more. He moans, strokes his cock, “You want a charged load?” he asks. This is a thinly veiled question of asking if you want AIDS. I say yes, he pushes the head of his huge cock against my hole, no lube, no spit, just the cum from earlier, and slams into my aching fag pussy. Part of me wants to know how I’d be during a fuck session knowing up front the cock has AIDS, not just right before he blows, you know? I think it could be a huge rush, especially if I was high, which I almost always am, knowing each thrust is coming from a poz cock that is going to infect me with AIDS, wow! Fucking what a turn on! Shit, I’m hard sitting here typing this!

I just can’t conceive of the idea of not having contracted AIDS by the time I was 45! I thought for sure I’d have caught the bug by now…as many cocks and loads that have been pumped into my hole, geez, I’ve only had a handful of things, herpes, the clap, syphilis and some other shit, but never been legitimately pozzed. We’ll see what happens…
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