Gender: Male Age: 63 Location: Canada's Wet Coast
|Introduction: The background of Collin and Janice Taylor|
Ranchland - Chapter 9
Amy woke to an empty bed, and a hidden fear snaked through her dawning consciousness. She’d gotten used to waking every morning to the warmth of her uncle Ben’s body caressing and pleasuring her, sensuously introducing her to the new day. This morning though, he wasn’t behind her, holding her close to him as he filled her with his massive masculinity, or luxuriously lapping at her own femininity. She felt alone and deserted, and a wave of panic swept over her.
“Ben?” she called out. “Where are you, Meat-Ball?” There was an eerie silence that permeated the ranch house, its existence crushing the joy of the new day that had become such an integral part of her life on the ranch as her uncle’s lover, and as the mother of their daughter Angela. Leaping out of their bed, she started to search through the building for the two people that meant more to her than life itself.
“Ben? Angela?” she called as she poked her head into every room in the place. With each explored area that brought no signs of her uncle or daughter, her panic increased. A complete tour of the residence proved unfruitful. In an act of final desperation, she flung open the back door, completely oblivious to her state of total undress, and screamed out their names.
“Ben! Angie! Where are you two?” She was almost outside on the back deck before she spotted both of them, sitting under the newly-constructed pergola’s awning cover, in conversation with Collin Taylor as the three of them sat around the outdoor table.
“Please don’t yell, Little One,” Ben greeted her, a warm smile on his face at the sight of his niece, “and you might want to put something on. It’s a little chilly out here.” His voice spoke more of his concerns for her health than any level of modesty that might be involved.
“Shit, I couldn’t find you two! I’ve been calling and calling. Don’t you ever do that to me again, Ben Calhoun! You hear me?” Amy let her field of vision expand as she became aware of Collin’s presence, his eyes rivetted to her nakedness. Maybe she should have been embarrassed, and in any other circumstances off the ranch, she probably would have. But this was Ranchland, and the people here were her family. She probably knew as much about each one of them as she knew about herself.
“Morning, Collin” she casually greeted the ranch-hand. “Let me go grab my robe, and I’ll be out to join you. You guys save me any coffee?” She felt Collin’s eyes running up and down the length of her nude body, noting the approval on his face for the woman standing in front of him. For some perverse reason, his stares gave her a warm feeling inside.
Returning to the deck after having put on her fleece robe and getting herself a cup of “wake-me-up juice”, as Ben called it sometimes, she joined the two men, retrieving her daughter from Angie’s father and sitting the child on her own lap. Angie cuddled her Mom, pressing her head tightly to Amy’s breast in an attempt to get closer to the sounds of her mother’s beating heart.
“Sorry to flash you like that, Collin,” she began to apologize, “but this asshole isn’t where he’s supposed to be!” Her derision was delivered with a biting tone, but also accompanied with an aura of the love they shared.
“That’s okay, Ma’am” Collin responded. “With a body like yours, you have nothing to apologize for, and I mean that as the sincerest form of flattery. Your body reminds me so much of my . . . older sister.” Collin’s focus drifted from the subject his gazing, as the memory of an earlier time swept across his inner vision. “I haven’t seen Cynthia since . . . well, not since Shelly turned six, I guess. I miss her, too. Hell, I miss both of them. Don’t get me wrong; Janice is the best wife a man could ever have, and the kids mean more to me than almost anything. But there’s just something about losing track of a sibling . . . ”. Collin’s focus returned to the three others sitting on the deck with him, a perceived look of embarrassment beginning to show on his face.
“Collin,” Ben said quietly, “she knows. We both do. We weren’t going to say anything until you told us yourself, that’s all. I made a promise – we both did – that we’d keep it hushed up until the day you were ready. This morning’s that day, isn’t it?”
Collin searched both their faces for a sign that his story wouldn’t upset or repulse either one. Angie’s conception may or may not have been through an actual incestuous union, and that discrepancy played on his mind. There was only one direction to follow, however, and that was to share everything about him and his sister, their relationship then and now, and the reality of his first-born daughter.
“Jim Allison?” Collin quizzed.
“Yeah, it was Jim. He made us promise not to let it go any further than our kitchen, though, and I can understand why. There’s no condemnation in anyone’s hearts for what went before, for what happened between you and your sister. We’re just sad that we can’t help you fix it.”
“Well,” Collin began slowly, his thoughts forming even as he spoke, “if you’re okay with Shelly moving in with Janice and I, mabe we can repair some of that. God, I sure hope so, for her sake. Cynthia’s gotten so bitter over the last ten years, and it’s beginning to affect . . . my daughter. No one should have to go through what she has. We just want her to find some real happiness. Between you and Amy, Jim and Beth, and Cynthia and I, this whole arena of incest should be the subject of a university psychology study, I swear!”
“I think I missed something, somewhere” Amy put in. “What is it that you feel Ranchland has to offer your daughter that she won’ find anywhere else? Don’t get me wrong, Collin. As far as I’m concerned, she’s more than welcome. But you seem to have a lot of your hopes tied up with her moving here. Why?”
“Shelly’s been on the negative side of the fence,” Collin started to explain. “Her mother resents the fact that our daughter was the product of a brother-sister relationship, and that resentment has been a part of Shelly’s life for as long as the poor girl can remember. But here, the Allisons have a close relationship with their three kids, and now you and Ben have Angie, another example of a child born into a house full of love. Tanya and Jason are probably the only two here that haven’t been subject to something incestuous. Hell, even Tim and Josh are involved that way, and there’s a lot of love between those two brothers. I’m really hoping that some of that influence will rub off on Shelly. She deserves to know that she’s loved, and that her roots aren’t necessarily a bad thing. Can you think of a better place to find that out than here?”
“So what happened, Collin, if you don’t mind me asking” Ben asked. “Why would your sister be so bitter? The way Jim told it, there had been a lot of love between you two, at one time.”
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Collin Taylor walked into the house after school, tired from another hard day of trying to understand mathematics. His sister Cynthia was the genius of the family when it came to academics. He was more of a hands-on kind of guy, which explained his love of shop, and sports activities. One more year of high school, and he’d never have to open another text book in his life!
He’d also be able to put his feelings for Becky Thomas behind him. She’d been his steady girlfriend for the last two years, until she suddenly told him that she wanted nothing to do with him any more. The news had come at him with no warning, and no explanation. He’d felt used, discarded, and very much disillusioned about love. Becky had taken up with a group of troublemakers soon afterwards. In a way, he was glad to be rid of her, but in many others, he missed the closeness they had once shared.
Walking into the kitchen, he was surprised to find his sister sitting at the table, her head in her hands, and tears rolling down her cheeks, splashing onto the table top as she cried her heart out. The sight ripped his guts out, and all he could think of was to console his sister. Walking over to where she sat, he put his arm around her shoulder, then kissed the top of he head, his feelings for her coming out in the process.
“Hey, Sis, why the tears?” he inquired. “You know I hate to see you sad and crying. What’s up? What’s going on?”
Cynthia looked up into his eyes, hers red and full of pleading, then she grabbed her little brother around his waist, and held on to him as though he were her last chance for survival. She clung to him like that for several moments before loosening her grip, then turned her eyes back towards her little brother as he stood over her, trying to offer her some semblance of safety and security.
“It’s . . . it’s that asshole Paul Kinghorn” she stuttered, the unmistakable venom coming through in her tone.”That son-of-a-bitch’s been cheating on me with Patsy Wilcox for months, apparently! God damn it, but I’d love to cut his balls off, right now!” She reaffirmed her grip on Collin’s waist as she allowed another river of tears to escape her eyes.
“Paul?” Collin squeaked. “Isn’t he the guy that you . . .?”
“Yeah,” Cynthia sobbed, “he’s the bastard that broke my cherry! God, I loved him so damned much, and now I find he’s been fucking that bitch Wilcox! Damn it, Collin, what am I supposed to do?” She returned her eyes to his, the desperation of her pleas pulling on his heartstrings until he almost cried out in pain. He’d have given anything to make everything right again, to take away her pain, to replace her forlorn look with her usual bright spark of hope and happiness. But he was only her little brother, and as much as he loved her dearly, what he really had in mind was supposed to be wrong.
His memories of Cynthia washed over him, as though they were a flashback from a movie. When he was in grade school, she had always kept the class bullies from tormenting him. When he had been dumped by his grade nine sweetheart, she was there to hold him and help him get through the hurt. When he had gotten his driver’s license, she was the one that had suggested they both celebrate. She’d always been a warm and loving part of his life. Now it was her that was hurting badly, and all he wanted to do was hold her, kiss her, let her know that he’d do anything she wanted, if it would help her get through this painful ordeal. But he was only her little brother. In that moment he felt like an impotent knight in shining armour, but without a horse to take him to the castle that imprisoned his captive Princess.
“Why, Collin, why?” Cynthia’s plea broke into his daydream. “Why are guys such rotten bastards? I just don’t understand them!”
“I don’t know , Sis” was all he could say. Anything more would have been futile, he knew. “I went through the same shit when Becky dumped me, and it fucking hurts like hell! All I remember is how much I hated her for what she did, and how much I never wanted to have anything more to do with girls. I do remember that it was you that tried to make me feel better. Sometimes I think that you’re the only girl on the planet that gives a shit about me. Whenever I needed someone to save my sorry ass, it was always you that was there. You’re the only girl I think I can trust, sometimes. But now that it’s you that hurts, I have no idea what I can do to make it go away, and I want to do that for you, so bad right now. What I can do, Sis?”
Collin’s sister looked up at him, and he saw that little sparkle of hope trying to escape from the clouds in her eyes. That one look made him feel like he’d finally found a way to make the journey to the magic castle, and he crouched down, put his arms around his big sister, and hugged her to his chest in a show of support, caring, and even love. Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead, holding his lips to her soft and delicate skin for as long as he dared. She returned his embrace with one of her own.
“Collin, why can’t I find a guy that’s as wonderful and caring as my little brother?” she whispered, even as he still held his lips to her.
“Probably for about the same reason I can’t find a girl as special as my big sister” he answered her. “Maybe neither one of us is destined to find out what love is really all about? Like I said, after Becky, I promised myself that I’d never get mixed up with girls again . . . and no, I’m not into boys, either, so don’t go there. But you’re a girl . . . God, are you ever! . . . and yet, you don’t scare the shit out of me like all the other girls do, so maybe there’s some hope after all?”
Cynthia looked into Collin’s eyes, and he could have sworn that the sparkle in hers got brighter, even as he stared back at her.
“Collin, come here” she crooned softly, pulling his lips to hers, then pressing against them with a kiss that was definitely more than just sisterly. She held him to her for the longest time, but not long enough to satisfy his desire to be connected to her as closely as he wanted. She finally withdrew her lips, but just enough to whisper her message to his waiting ears.
“I’ve . . . I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time, but never had the guts before today” she confessed. “I’m sorry if I scared you, but I’ve wanted to kiss you for almost three years now. Being here like this, with you holding me, trying to protect me from my own stupidity, showing me how much you care? I just had to taste your lips, and let you know that . . . oh hell! That I’m in love you! I always have been, and I guess I always will. Just don’t think of me as a total pervert, okay? You might be my little brother, but you’re one hell of a great guy. That Becky Thomas doesn’t know what she’s lost, and doesn’t deserve you anyway!”
A part of Collin told him that he shouldn’t be here with Cynthia, shouldn’t be this close, shouldn’t want another kiss so badly. The rest of him defied the first part, holding him right where he was, trying to find a way to let her know just how much he loved her, too. Not just as his big sister, but as a woman, as a female, as someone he needed, and dare he say it? Someone he wanted and desired, not just for her body, but for who she was, too.
“Umm, Sis, I’m not interested in being someone’s rebound. You’re hurting because of what Paul did. Yes, I want to help make it better, because I love you, too. I think I love you more than just as my big sister, and definitely more than a little brother has any business loving his sister. But like I said, I don’t want to be someone’s rebound; not even for you.”
She ran her fingers through the hair behind his ear, then pulled him back to her waiting lips, kissing him more insistently than Collin ever imagined a woman could. He felt her tongue beginning to trace a path over his lips, and an involuntary moan escaped his throat. God, she tasted like a fine wine; soft, warm, inviting, and totally captivating. He was powerless to refuse her, and he gave her the access she sought, willingly, fully, and completely. The sensation of her tongue as it duelled with his left him hungry and lusting for more. He pulled her body tight to his own, dreading the thought of her lips leaving his.
“You big goof” she whispered as she broke her lip lock on her little brother. “You’re not the rebound. Paul was.” With that, she re-established her claim on his young body and kissed him deeply and passionately again, this time receiving as much as she gave.
“I’ve got homework to do,” Collin whispered as they broke from each other, “and if I don’t get started on it pretty soon . . . “
“Want some help?” Cynthia offered, the warmth of her tone implying that right now, she’d do almost anything just to be in her little brother’s company, and the warmth he radiated, in her mind.
“Thanks, Sis, but I should tackle this on my own. Maybe I might even start to understand some of it that way. But if I need help, I’ll call you, okay?” He leaned over and kissed her lips softly, wanting to dive into her soul and stay there until the stars all burned out. She silently let him go, her eyes now ablaze with love, tenderness, and longing.
Collin sat at his desk, his mind on everything but academics. His big sister had kissed him, and more passionately than Becky ever had. His mind screamed at him that his growing feelings of love and lust were wrong. But love was love, no matter where you found it, and it was precious enough that crossing boundaries was more than just acceptable. In their case, it felt mandatory, to him anyway. He’d have to talk to Cynthia and find out how she felt. Having resolved his inner conflict for the moment, he set about tackling the subject of his despair, namely trigonometry.
Cynthia made her way up to her room, feeling more at peace with herself than she had for weeks. Her little brother, the guy that she adored from afar for so long, had not only let her kiss him, but had kissed her back, with a depth that was more than she’d ever dreamed. As much as she wanted to invade his space right now, she also understood that he had other commitments to meet. Her desires would just have to wait until he was finished, but that was about all the time she’d grant him. After that, she needed to be with him, to feel his love and warmth, and dare she say it, to be held tightly against his body again. The realization that she wanted him crystalized in her brain, taking concrete form and dimension, and she felt a tingling between her thighs at the thought, followed almost immediately by a moistening in her pussy.
Collin concentrated on his homework, barely allowing himself any awareness of the house around him. Cynthia had taken a shower, partially to wash away the frustrations she’d gathered through the day, and partially to relax her tensed muscles that were the result of those frustrations. After she turned the water off, he was vaguely aware of the sounds of his sister padding lightly down the hall, the floorboards of the old house squeaking with her passage. He gave it little thought. She knocked on his door and entered, the sight of her wrapped only in a towel elicited a twitching in his groin, and he realized that she really did have an appealing and desirable body.
“Hey, how’s it coming?” Cynthia inquired. “Ready for some help yet?” Collin had a hard time shifting his line of sight from her shapely form. Still looking at his sister, he uttered a low whistle.
“Geez, Sis, just as I get into concentration mode, you come in here looking like that? Not a nice thing to do to a guy, ya know.” He looked into her eyes, noting that warm sparkle still residing in them, and smiled at her. She returned his greeting with a chuckle of her own.
“What’s your problem? Never seen a girl before? Good grief, my little brother sure leads a sheltered life, doesn’t he?” Cynthia chuckled.
“Yeah, maybe. I’m just not used to . . . pretty sisters traipsing in and out of my room almost naked. Either get dressed, or lose the towel. Just quit teasing me with enticing glimpses, okay?” Cynthia’s smile slowly began to fade as the seriousness of the moment dawned on her.
“Really, Collin? Do you really mean that, about losing the towel? Am I really that attractive to you?” There was an urgency to her question that Collin couldn’t ignore, nor could he tell her anything except the truth. He had a decision to make, and not very long to make it. Ignoring the voice in his head in favour of the one in his heart, he made that decision, and it felt so right to him.
“Yeah, Sis,” he found himself telling her, “I am serious about the towel. And just for the record, I find you very attractive, and pretty, and gorgeous, and beautiful, and . . . ”
“Okay, okay! I get it!” she snapped, a gleeful tone to her voice. “I’ve just never thought about it before. I mean, to me, it’s just a body, something that holds all the bits and pieces together. But if it makes you happy, if you really want to see it . . . “
Collin stood and walked over to where she stood, then held her in his arms. Looking into her eyes, he poured out the feelings in the deepest recesses of his heart.
“Cynthia, I’ve always thought you looked amazing, and beautiful, and all those things,” Collin started out. “It’s the girl inside that turns me on, though. I love you, Sis. Maybe more than a brother is supposed to love his sister, but I do. So, there it is. At least I got the chance to tell you how I feel. I’ve been pushed aside before and survived, and I will again, if I have to, if that's what happens here. What I’d really like, though, is to know how you feel about all this.”
Cynthia allowed herself to melt in her little brother’s arms, her hands slowly snaking their way around his waist as she pulled the two of them closer together. Then lifting her head, she kissed Collin, lightly at first, then with more demand and want, as her own lust for her little brother slowly came to the surface.
“Know what I really feel?” she asked as they eased their lips apart. “I feel like you’ve got too many clothes on.” She kissed him again, trying to show him that she needed him as much as she wanted him. “If you’re feeling self-conscious about it, though, I do have a towel you can borrow . . . ”
Cynthia moved her hands back to Collin’s chest, then began unbuttoning his shirt. He released her from his arms only long enough for her to pull it off, then returned to embrace her again, as she ran her fingers sensuously over his naked chest, sending shivers up and down his spine. As she passed over his nipples, she ran her fingertips over them, watching the little man-teats harden as they raised from his skin. Leaning forward, Cynthia lightly bit each one with her lips, then gave them a gentle suck.
The attention to his chest sent tingles all around Collin’s nut sac, and he felt his cock begin to stiffen. The fact that it was Cynthia pleasuring him felt so wickedly delicious, and he wanted more. To that end, he reached for an edge of her towel and tugged, thus pulling it free and exposing her soft and taut body to his gaze, his vision rivetted on her gently heaving breasts.
“You can touch them” his sister’s voice softly invited, and he accepted her offer, squeezing their mass in fascination, then copying her earlier actions over the nipples. Like his own, they became hard and erect, leaving him feeling compelled to flick, tease, and gently pull on them, then to carefully suck each one between his lips. Cynthia moaned with his growing confidence as he pleasured her. Like him, she felt a compelling tingle between her legs, which induced her to unfasten Collin’s pants and remove his remaining clothing. Standing before each other, naked and vulnerable, the two siblings found themselves in a world of their own, void of anyone or anything else, including the hurt and betrayals that had drawn them together.
As her little brother continued to explore and excite her breasts, Cynthia reached down and took his hard cock in her hand, marvelling at both its rigidity and the soft skin that sheathed his shaft. Leaning in to his lips, she began to kiss him again, while directing and dragging his spongy purple helmet through the moisture of her slit and lightly over her now-knotted hard clit. The combination of his pre-cum and her own juices left a silky smoothness between her outer lips, and a burning desire to bury his throbbing manhood deep inside her. Without loosening her grip on Collin’s lips, Cynthia began to manoeuver them both so that his bed was now behind her, then sank back onto it, pulling him with her.
“I want you, little brother,” Cynthia cooed in his ear, “deep inside me. Let me feel you filling me. Come inside my cunt with your gorgeous cock!” She directed him to her entrance, then rocked her hips to take his spongy head into her slippery channel. Collin felt her heat as he slid further and further into the delicious softness of her velvet-like sheath. He heard her groan of welcome. She listened as he sighed loudly with the glory of being taken by the one girl he felt safe being with. The rest of the world was shut out of their minds as they became joined as one.
Collin pumped himself inside Cynthia’s heated love canal slowly, both to tease her senses, and to prolong the wickedly wonderful thrill of fucking his sister. He’d found a certain level of satisfaction when he’d been with Becky, but this was so much more than he’d ever dreamed. The decadence of being inside his own sister, pleasuring and being pleasured by her became only one facet of their coital connection. But Cynthia was different from Becky in other ways; soft, sensual, caring, and now, a very willing partner. He couldn’t get enough of her, and it appeared that the feeling was mutual.
“Deeper, Collin,” she pleaded, “come all the way into me. Fill my cunt to my very depths!” He gently pushed himself until he felt their pubic bones mash against each other, then began to rotate his hips as he pressed and stimulated her hard, erect clitoris, sending jolts of electric-like energy into her entire pussy and lower abdomen. Cynthia gasped at the overwhelming sensation of being not only filled, but also induced towards the beginnings of her very first climax with the boy she had been in love with for so long, her little brother. As Collin began to augment his rotations with strokes of his manhood in and out of his sister’s vagina, she groaned her delight at his movements. Her clit began to tingle more and more, then the reaction spread through her crotch, up her abdomen and across her chest, becoming a series of all-encompassing thrills that captured her entire body. She trembled and shook from the magnitude of the orgasm she was experiencing, waiting expectantly as she surrendered to its domination.
Collin had heard his sister’s breathing change as it became faster, ragged, and more shallow. Her walls fluttered, then began to squeeze and release his shaft. By holding himself as deep inside Cynthia as he possibly could, the vibrations of her twitching body flexed her silky sheath over the most sensitive spot just under the rim of his helmet. Those vibrations pulled on him, lifting his balls as if by vacuum pressure, and drew his thick stringy goo to the base of his shaft. His cock began to twitch, convulsing in spasms as his body prepared to force his cum up the length of his manhood and deep inside his sister’s heated interior.
“Cynthia!” he hollered, “Oh God, Sis, I’m going to cum! God, you feel so good on my cock! Ah, God, so good!” He wondered whether to pull out of her or not, and she silently answered his question by flinging her legs over his waist and holding him captive as she took his spurting seed into her womb.
Collin heard the growing sounds of his sister’s orgasm as she screamed her loving acceptance of his gift for all the world to hear. It started as a mewl, slowly building in volume and frequency, until it burst forth from her lips in a wondrous crescendo of lustful release, announcing to the world that they’d both been to a special place reserved for lovers.
“a-a-a-h-h-A-h-A-H-A-HH-AAHHH!” ah”, “aH”, “AH”, “AAHH!” Cynthia bellowed out, and they grasped each other tightly as they shared the ecstatic bliss of their mutual climaxes.
They remained locked in each other’s arms as their post-coital bliss swept over and through them, creating a bond between them that grew stronger with each passing second. Collin could feel himself softening and shrinking as his cock slowly returned to its previous non-erect state, and he almost resented the necessary acknowledgement that he wasn’t able to remain inside Cynthia’s warm and wet body. Eventually, he slipped out of her, a soft pop signalling his release. Rolling over onto his back, he held her tightly to his chest, the soft, gentle sounds of her relaxed breathing telling him that she was either asleep or soon would be.
“Come on, Sis,” he whispered tenderly in her ear, “we’ve got to get up. Mom and Dad will be home soon, and I doubt they’ll be too happy if we’re still lying here, naked, and covered in each other’s cum.” Cynthia groaned at her disappointment with the prospect of having to let go of Collin’s hold on her body, and her heart.
“Sis,” Collin asked quietly, “tell me that wasn’t because you’re on the rebound?” She stared into his blue eyes, focussing first on one eye, then the other. He watched her gaze shift between each focal point, waiting for her answer.
“No, my darling little brother, that was definitely not a rebound, as you put it. That,” and she paused to kiss him lightly as she accentuated her coming statement, “was the most wonderful and beautiful experience of my life. For a minute there, I was a little scared that Becky Thomas might had ruined my little brother. Now I know I didn’t have to worry, because she hasn’t.”
The two sibling lovers pried themselves from Collin’s bed and shared a quick but sensual shower, then made sure his room was back in order. Just as they finished, their parents arrived home. Mrs. Taylor studied her children intensely as she saw something different in their faces, and experienced the effects of a closeness in their attitude. Something was not the same as usual between them, but she couldn’t identify the difference.
Every day after school, the two lovers shared their time together, growing closer with each passing day. Cynthia took to wearing more provocative clothing whenever it was just her and Collin in the house, but dressed more conservatively whenever someone else, including their parents, was in the vicinity of their presence. With her help, Collin’s grades slowly improved, and he began to understand more of the academic concepts, with Cynthia’s help and explanations. By the end of the school year, they had become inseparable, each feeling happier than they’d ever been before in their lives. The following semester, Cynthia enrolled in the local college, still living at home, and still helping her little brother with academic tutoring. It was at the beginning of the next year that their world began to fall apart.
“Collin,” Cynthia sobbed one late January afternoon, as her brother held her in his arms, “I’m . . . I’m . . . oh God, I’m pregnant!” Her face reflected the shame and sorrow she felt for herself, even as Collin beamed his joy and happiness at the news. “Dammit, Collin! I don’t want to be pregnant! I don’t even want this baby!” She saw the hurt in his eyes, and a part of her died, right there. “Shit, I’m sorry, little brother, but it’s true. Even if it is your baby, I’m not ready for motherhood! Mom and Dad are gong to kill us both when they find out! What are we going to do? Christ, I’m so fucking scared!”
Collin had no answers, but deep inside him, he prayed his sister would change her mind, would carry the baby to term, and would learn to love both their child, and him. When their parents finally did learn of her pregnancy, they were furious, but when they found out that Collin was the father, they became completely unglued. The siblings were given twenty-four hours to vacate the premises, and told never to return. Ever.
Collin scrambled to find a means to support his sister and the child growing inside her. It was a harsh existence, but they survived. Their love, however, didn’t. Cynthia moved as far away as she could as soon as their daughter was born, wanting nothing more to do with the family that had deserted her in her time of need, or the boy that had inflicted this shame upon her. As a result, Collin began to live his life one day at a time, struggling to survive, and not caring what tomorrow might bring.
It was Janice Vickers that saved him from himself, and she tried so very hard to replace that part of his heart that had died with Cynthia’s departure. She even went so far as to suggest that they adopt Collin’s daughter Shelly, and at first, he greeted the idea with some joy. Janice and Shelly had gotten on wonderfully, but every time Collin was near his daughter, the memories of his sister came back, ripping another piece of his soul from inside him. Eventually, his sister had forbidden him any contact with his daughter, and he missed Shelly almost as much as he missed her mother.
Finally, Janice had been forced to realize and accept that if she were to be with the man she loved more than life itself, she’d have to distance him from his past. She did, however, encourage Shelly to maintain some kind of contact with her father, even if it was only a letter every once in a while. Collin’s eyes would light up when there was something from Shelly, and he’d be in seventh heaven for a day or two, until the sorrow of missing both his sister and his daughter re-established its hold on him. It wasn’t until the conception of their daughter Tanya that he was finally able to return to a point of happiness that Janice spent almost a full decade to show him. Still, he did miss his sister, but accepted that she didn’t seem to miss him. His life became Janice, and as an extension, Tanya, and eventually included Jason, their son, when he was born.
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“Oh Collin,” Amy tried to ease his pain, “I’m so, so sorry! God, I feel so helpless, because there isn’t a damned thing we can do to help, or to change the way things were. Do you really think Shelly moving here would help? Is it going to drag up more bad memories, either for you, or for her? Or both?”
“Yeah, it’ll help both of us. It’s thanks to Janice that Shelly and I have any connection at all, and she says that she’ll do whatever it takes to keep and strengthen that connection.” Collin slowly explained. “Knowing my wife as well as I’m beginning to, I think she’s right, too.”
“Collin, how the hell have you managed to survive all these years, with all that hurt and pain inside?” Ben wanted to know. “I mean, in a way, I can understand some of what you’ve told us, but if it was me in your shoes? I’m beginning to wonder if I’d have survived it at all. Isn’t there someone you can talk to about it?”
“I’ve been talking to Jim over the years, and he’s been more help than I think even he knows. It was him that suggested I come work for you, and he encouraged both Janice and I to move to Ranchland when you first came up with the idea. It’s made a real difference, for both my wife, and for myself. A part of it has been Jim’s ongoing encouragement, along with Janice’s support. Some days, that woman can be a real nag, pushing me to do what I have to do, especially when I don’t want to do it, but she does support me, and I love her for it. We’ve been married for almost ten years now, and I can’t remember a single day when she hasn’t been there, supporting me, encouraging me, and being my best friend. I even remember the day she told me that she was pregnant with Tanya. God, was she scared! She shook and shivered the whole time, worried that I wouldn’t want the baby, or her. But she’s been everything that a mother should be, and more. She’s also everything that my sister couldn’t be. A man would have to be a fool to let a girl like Janice slip out of his fingers.” There was a pause as Collin took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before he continued.
“The other people that have made a difference are you two. When you showed Tim and Josh that they were accepted as members of this little community, it had a real impact on my self-esteem. Now, watching the way you treat Angie, with so much love and caring, I’m beginning to think that if you two can do it, so can Janice and I with Shelly. You’re the same with your daughter as Jim and Beth are with their three kids, and their grandchildren, too, but your commitment to your daughter seems even stronger. For me, you’re both a real inspiration, and I thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart.”
“So have you and Shelly talked further about her moving down here?” Amy wanted to know. “I mean, if there’s anything we can do to help, Collin, all you have to do is ask.”
“I’ve had several letters from her about the idea, and she’s even made a couple of phone calls, too. I think she’s really serious. If she is, we have a lot of getting to know each other to go through. I just hope you guys are up to the challenge; I know, in my heart, that my wife is. That lady’s one in a million.”
Collin lifted his coffee cup and drained the last sip before standing up.
“Well, if you folks will excuse me, I have work to do today, before the Boss fires me for goofing off. But thanks for the chance to explain myself, Ben. You too, Amy. I guess I feel a lot better now that everything’s out in the open.” With that, Collin returned his empty cup to the kitchen, then headed for the horse barn in preparation for an afternoon patrolling the western ranges with Jim.
“God, I can’t relate to what it would be like to lose connection with a brother or sister” Amy softly said to her uncle. “Hell, I have no idea what it’s like to even have a brother or sister. I was the only child my parents had. That must be scary, what Collin’s going through. How does he do it?”
“I can understand his pain perfectly,” Ben stated in a soft and pensive tone, “because I lost a sister, too, although not the way Collin did.”
“You did?” Amy looked at him with wide-open eyes. “Who?” There was a silent pause as Ben worked up the courage to answer his niece’s question, then he spoke even softer, the hurt and pain in his voice almost overwhelming to both of them.
“Your mother . . . “ was all he said.
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