Gender: Male Age: 50 Location: Mid-West
|Introduction: the need continued then grew into more than it should have|
he's My Best Friends Girl pt 2.
What a difference a couple months can make when it comes to marriage, pregnancy and infidelity. When you take a woman who is neglected and only viewed through the prism of a body type by her husband and on top of that the husband is even suspected of infidelity prior to the wife's then one thing drives the other. Neither is justified but people have the need to be loved, touched and desired while at the same time people want to love someone, they like to touch and they want to desire someone, it completes something inside of you and if the circle is complete then great however, if the circle is not complete then the desire to complete it takes over, fidelity and morality be damned.
I satisfied what Brad has neglected and I continue to do that to this day. Cindy and I have carried on our affair, an affair driven by need, lust, neglect and opportunity however, it grew into more.
I admit that I was growing somewhat attached to Cindy yet knowing that it was pointless. She is pregnant and married to my best friend and I know it could never be, no matter what happened.
Sure I ran through all the scenarios in my head like Brad cheating and getting caught or even falling in love with someone else and leaving Cindy or the other way around however, Cindy and I being together just wouldn't work given the situation and relations, etc.
It's not like she didn't have regrets like marrying someone who loved her for her body and not what is inside but now she feels doubly trapped, by marriage and pregnancy.
Cindy is a wonderful woman, full of passion and desire plus she is generally a great person with a hell of a personality and on top of her being HOT what's not to love, or be in love with.............her and I can't go there.
As the next couple of months went on and her belly grew Brad became more distant.
She knew he would be all over her once it was over and she trimmed back down to her usual figure but it would be an empty existence and she expressed it.
We made time between Brad's travel schedule and our times together consisted of sex and talk, sometimes just talk via phone calls or in person.
She was a very pleasant to talk with and she was able to open up. Having sex with someone is one thing but opening up and letting someone know you deep into the dark recesses of ones soul is, by definition, the most intimate act that people can have with one another, physical intimacy notwithstanding.
I would never betray her confidence and vice versa, we shared with each other and it was refreshing to be able to have that kind of connection.
Was all this just based on sex, this started as a mutual friendship then by circumstance it became a sexual relationship driven by loneliness and need.
We know sex was the primary motivator and need but it certainly allowed things to expand and know each other in a different way than likely would have happened in the normal course.
We talked about this as our feelings grew and it is a real struggle to deal with but so hard to stop. You know you have to stop it let alone the fact that it should have never started but it did and now how can you stop it and not be crushed, quite the dilemma.
I think I wanted to continue and justify a wrong using words like feelings, trust, neglect, fate and love, or lack thereof.
This thing gathered more momentum than what was intended from the start and it would have to slow to a stop, and abrupt halt would be to much to bare and to slow a stop may lead to trouble.
Like a loaded train up to speed you just can't stop it fast, it takes a time to slow and come to a complete stop. I could use a hundred analogies but you get the picture.
Cindy was getting to the end of her pregnancy and as it neared Brad would be staying close to home beginning next month just in case the baby was early. We knew this may be our last time together while Brad was out of town and this potential made our time much more precious and passionate.
I always wondered how her mood or thought may change after the baby was born when she looked back on what her and I have done, I still feared there would be regret.
I would be crushed if she suddenly hated me for some reason or with the need met I would be tossed off, my services no longer required. It wasn't supposed to be this way and I understand about continued transparency and all that, maybe I just wanted it to go on forever just like this but of course that is impossible and not realistic and I was just scared because I feel we both kind of "fell in".
As our thing progressed she became more passionate, having sex with her was exciting, naughty, nice and all that.
We got together and had great hot sex and we talked but as weird as it sounds, when we began to kiss and kiss deeply, it just felt like this was the most wrong thing we have done.
We had sex a few times without so much as a kiss, it was just sex, but as the passions rose and I held her face in my hands and looked into her crisp blues eyes and saw the way she looked at me and we kissed it felt like we committed a mortal sin, well we did.
Sounds backwards to me to but maybe it is my heart talking and not just my little head doing the thinking for me.
Here we were in their house, her and I on the guest bed. She laid on her back and I was beside her on my knee's leaning down as we kissed so passionately, like lovers would kiss, like we intended to be together forever.
She was all baby and it became easier for us to have sex standing up with her leaning over the bed supported by her hands while I got her from behind or with us laying on our side.
The bigger she got the more sensuous and passionate I found her to be.
She really didn't want me to eat her pussy because she was sopping wet all the time, like I would be turned off or something, she just felt bad that she would drowned my face and this occasion was no different.
When we broke for our kiss and embrace I told her I wanted to eat her. I finally coaxed her to the edge of the bed and I got on my knee's. She had no problem holding up her legs and opening wide for me but her belly hung low and it made her pussy hard to get at like I wanted to but I worked at it and with my initial lick she groaned,
"OH DAVID, EAT ME LOVER", she moaned in a breathy tone.
She liked her pussy shaved but couldn't get to it the last couple months so I actually did it for her, I was glad to, more than glad to.
I licked at her shaved pussy like a dog lapping up water, she stayed wet it seemed and after I was done with her she would absolutely gushing, dripping, sopping wet.
We needed it, as her belly got larger her hole tightened up but she had gotten used to my girth but it still became a tight fit and that made it really good, for both of us.
I worked on her sweet snatch for several minutes and she was close. She wiggled and bucked a little then began to pant,
"UH,UH,UH,UH,UH,UHHHHHHH......DON'T STOP BABY", she moaned.
I licked up her slit and attacked her clit. She let go of her legs and grabbed a handful of bedsheets,
"AAAAHHHHHHH FUCK, I CAN'T TAKE IT", she yelled. Her clit had become extra sensitive the last two months, even a breath across it sent her over the edge.
I slid a finger down her crack and into her butthole as I licked her clit hard,
"OHH, OHH, OHHHHHHHH BABY YOU'RE........GONNA.....MAKE ME.......CUUUUUM".
She bucked wildly as the feeling of her jizz worked it's way down, she was going to cum hard and if this was going to be it for us then I wanted it to be good for her.
"UH, UH, UH, UH, UH OWW !" she screamed as creamy jizz gushed onto my face, there was no way I could keep up with it.
As the juice ran out of her pussy and down the crack of her ass I licked her slit and pushed my finger deeper into her tight little butthole.
We were going to do everything tonight, I wanted every hole she had and she wanted me to take what I needed and give her what she wanted so I was preparing her.
She continued to breath erratically and shook as she came down from her orgasm, I eased my attack on her clit then let her settle but I kept my finger in her asshole and worked it just a little then as her breathing evened out I pulled my finger out.
She was breathing evenly but still had little jitters like aftershocks running through her body. I rubbed her swollen belly a little and she dropped her legs down.
I stood up and she stretched an arm out for me to grab and help her up. She stood and pulled the bed sheet with her and used it to wipe my face,
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drowned you like that", she said. I just smiled at her.
"Well if you didn't mean to and I made you then I have accomplished my mission", I said.
"I've never been eaten so good or cum like I have with you, EVER !", she said.
I was rock hard from hearing her screams while I ate her wonderful cunt, knowing I satisfied her satisfied me. As she stood there she finished wiping my face then dropped the sheet and grabbed my cock,
"Time to return the favor", she said with a grin on her face.
She lowered to her knee's and looked up at me and our eyes stayed locked as she held my hardened tool and brought her face closer. With her lips only slightly open she pressed them against my cock head and let her luscious red lips follow the contour of my helmet as she took me into her mouth.
Never breaking eye contact I breathed in deeply, the sensation was incredible and the sight of looking down at Cindy with my cock in her mouth and her swollen belly was awesome. I wished that was our baby she was carrying and not her husbands, my best damn friend.
I just could not understand why in the world he didn't pay attention to his gorgeous wife, the one knelt before me, the one who was absolutely making love to my cock with her mouth.
She was hot, passionate and eager to please and be pleased. Was Brad so shallow, even more than I ever realized, that he could neglect this beautiful woman because her belly was swollen with their child.
We looked deep into each others eyes as she sucked my head and worked her tongue underneath to give me as much pleasure as I could stand.
The feeling was becoming intense for me then she took me deeper into her mouth, I started to sway just slightly and tried to keep my eyes open but the feeling was such that I wanted to just concentrate on what she was giving me.
I put a hand on the top of her head to steady myself and with my head still dropped down I closed my eyes and breathed in as she took me even deeper.
My whole body was rocking back and forth and if not for my hand on her head I think I would have fell.
When she took in all she was able she would pull off then started again by letting her lips follow from the tip of my cock head then traveled down towards the base of my shaft, at that point my head went back,
"OHHHHH CINDY BABYYYYYY", I moaned out.
She increased her efforts and began to slurp as she bobbed and sucked,
"UHHHHHHHHHH", was all I could manage to groan out at that point. I had reached down with my other hand now and placed them on each side of her head to keep myself steady and pull her to me as I heaved.
I wanted my cock in her throat and she wished she could do it, we talked about it before but she said she couldn't control the gag reflex. I wanted so bad to grip her head and then just thrust in and let her throat close around my shaft.
That was my lust talking but I couldn't do that to this precious woman but what I was doing caused her to let out muffled gulping sounds.
I was almost forcing her but she wasn't resisting or trying to pull away rather she was working with me and trying to take as much as I wanted to force in.
I swear I felt the tip of my cock in her throat with each descent, I was close now and losing control as I fucked into her mouth. I lowered my head and opened my eyes, my state of bliss was transformed into pure desire to have my cock down her throat when I unloaded.
I struggled to maintain control and not hurt or scare her but when you get to this point you lose sensibilities and are only driven to use what you have to get relief,
"OH CINDY BABY, I HAVE TO.........", my voice drifted off.
As the cum filled my shaft and pressure built my entire body tingled and I closed my eyes again. It felt like when you have to piss really bad and you almost can't wait and then,
"OHHHHHHHHH", I moaned loudly as I let let my cum flow into her mouth, splashing the back of her throat. It was sweet relief and it felt so good to relieve that pressure, it sent a slight shiver through my body as I kept my cock muscles loose and poured into her.
She pulled back and sucked hard on my head like she was trying to drink from a straw.
With my eyes still closed I let my head go back again as the pressure in my cock abated, she brushed her tongue across my head and I caught a breath.
I stood there still steadying myself until she was done and just like she started she pulled off of my cock while letting her lips follow all the way back to the tip of my head.
I took a couple of breaths then looked down and saw she was looking up at me, I must have looked like I had a buzz, and I felt like it and she was smiling up at me. She pleased me like no woman has and she was so pleased that she could do it and bring someone off like that.
With my cock relieved I felt a tinge of guilt the way I tried to force my cock into her mouth,
"I'm really sorry honey, I got a little crazy there", I said.
"I love it when you take advantage of me like that", she said with a devilish grin.
"Beautiful, sexy and a deep caring soul, you are a wonderful woman", I said.
She held her arms up so I could help her stand and when she did she threw her arms around my neck and leaned in, her belly pushing into mine. I put my arms around her back then brought them around and onto her belly and rubbed just as she eased her hug.
She looked at me then my eyes dropped to her tits and I leaned down and took one into my mouth and my hands instantly went to each one and I squeezed while I sucked, not wanting to neglect anything I switched and took her other nipple into my mouth and made sure each got equal treatment,
"uhhh, they never get proper attention", she said in a distant voice.
I picked my head up and looked at her, well more into her than at her, then she leaned in and we kissed then she ran her tongue into my mouth and we embraced.
I wanted to get closer but her stomach made it impossible so we leaned in as best we could and continued to kiss and hold each other then we pulled apart, she had tears welled up in her eyes.
I looked at her with concern,
"What's the matter", I asked.
She just shook her head and tightened her face to keep from busting out. She took my hand then turned to get onto the bed and I followed her as she crawled to the middle then laid down.
I laid down and pulled myself to her and pressed my body to hers then put my arm over her trying to pull us together as tight as possible while she quietly wept. I feared her weeping may be a manifestation of her infidelity surfacing but also kept in mind that she may be sad that time was drawing near and she was just reflecting on a shallow existence.
I asked if she was ok and she whispered she was sorry then asked why her and I didn't get together back in the day. She started to lament even marrying Brad and chastised herself for not seeing his shallow nature before committing herself by marriage, then by pregnancy, to a man that only wanted a model, a facade and not caring or even interested in what was under the surface.
She talked as she sniffled and I just listened, chimed in when needed, all the while I soothed her by stroking her hair then running my hand down her body following every curve and bulge but this was two pronged. It soothed her plus I derived great enjoyment from letting my hand explore her body.
"Oh my god, you are sooo affectionate", she said.
"It's not hard I mean your are so luscious and sensual plus it's in my nature", I said.
You also listen, and you talk to me, you opened up to me", she said.
"I feel I can trust you", I said.
She reached her hand back behind her and patted me then grabbed my arm and pulled it over her, guiding my hand to her tit's. I began to massage and squeeze them while I kissed her back and shoulder.
It was late evening now, we had ALL NIGHT LONG and right now we were simply enjoying the togetherness and tenderness we were sharing.
We laid there in complete relaxation and satisfaction and even began to nod off then suddenly Cindy spoke up,
"DAVID, lets take a shower together", she said in an excited voice as she moved to the edge of the bed and sat up.
I propped my head on my hand and looked at her as she turned and smiled at me,
"Come On, Come On", she urged, and stood there until I started to move then she walked out of the room, I got up and followed her to the master bathroom.
She started the shower and while the water warmed up she bunched up her long blond hair and fastened it on top of her head. Her neck being fully exposed like that looked even longer and more kissable so I walked up behind her and with a hand on each of her shoulders I munched the back of her neck then she leaned her head to one side and I went to work,
"OHHHHH, you are driving me crazy", she said.
I stopped and she headed into the shower, I followed. She squeezed some body wash onto my hands and turned her back and I began to work it into a lather as I rubbed up and down her back and across her shoulders. I took the bottle and squeezed more out and worked on her butt and each leg as I lathered her up, I also ran my hand in her butt crack and between her legs and washed her inner thighs all the while she stood there and moaned,
"mmmmmmmmmmmm", as I worked her up and down from neck to ankles. She turned around and with more soap I started at her neck then worked over, under and around her titties then over her huge belly. As my hand ran over then under her stomach I went right to her pussy, which caused her to raise her eyebrows and flash a smile at me.
I worked down each leg then let her rinse off.
I'm not sure which one of us enjoyed it more to that point but now it was my turn, she soaped me up and worked my front down to my waist then had me turn around and she repeated the same procedure except she knelt down and washed my legs from back to front then I turned around, my cock was at her eye level. She smiled and plunged down onto my cock taking me in DEEP, what was once semi-hard cock to action and was quickly swollen to the bursting point.
She didn't intend to bring me off rather she just wanted to give me something back that I gave her and after a couple of minutes she pulled off and I helped her stand up and she turned off the shower then we dried each other off.
She put on a bathrobe then asked me to go lay down, while I headed back to the bedroom she headed off towards the kitchen so I stood there and listened to her as she was busy doing whatever it was she was doing.
I went to the bedroom and straightened out the covers and got in about the time she came back, she had us something to drink.
She slipped off her robe and got under the covers with me, it was amazing how immodest she became in a short time. It was natural at the beginning to be shy about being naked in front of someone new and she didn't feel pretty because she was pregnant but what a transformation from then through now.
She wasn't shy at all around me, she opened up and as she had told me before she reiterated again that she felt a little more "free", that is free to be HER rather than feeling she had to conform to a specific look and say or not say certain things or express herself as needed.
She was partially liberated, with me she could be the nasty girl in bed when she desired, she could talk and ask me things, she could cry without made to feel bad about it and she knew I appreciated her for what she had inside still knowing full well I also thought her outsides were absolutely scrumptious.
The more we talked the closer we became and the harder is was to even think about it ending, you are not supposed to have sex with your best friends wife let alone fall in love with her.
As many years as I have known Brad I was becoming pissed at him but then again nobody put a gun to Cindy's head and made her marry him. I now she had to see all the signs during their relationship but likely ignored them due to being young and stupid and woman also have the inherent idea that we will change or even that all they need to do is work on us to affect change.
It made me think of the old saying: A woman marries a man hoping he will change and a man marries a woman hoping she won't.
Really makes you think ahead or reflect back on times when those arguments come up and one say's to the other "I want the person I fell in love with".
Then when you look back, really look back objectively, you find that this is the person you married or even got into a committed relationship with then you chide yourself for not paying attention to all the warning signs.
We were finally laying there in silence,
"David, I want us to make love, I mean really make passionate love to each other", Cindy said.
My heart throbbed with excitement and fear. I knew I was falling in love and I suspected she was to and we both knew we couldn't be together.
After all this time, all these years of dating and carrying on with some relationships being very intense, I find myself falling in love with my best friends wife, his pregnant wife. I was mixed with emotions while I knew what she meant about "making love".
There are all kinds of way's to do it. There is having sex, there is fucking, there is screwing and of course there is 69 or just eating pussy or just getting your dick sucked and then there is "Making Love".
If you don't know the difference then you need to think about it as a duality instead a singularity, it's incredible what two people can do when they are in sync.
I wasn't sure what to say but being able to take this angel and make sweet love to her, the way she meant, was only a thought to me because of her pregnancy but she answered that,
"We've had sex, we fucked, sucked, eaten and have been as passionate as the two of us could given my condition but I want us to make love, you know exactly what I mean, don't you ?", she asked as she looked over to me.
"YES, yes I do", I said while looking back at her.
"I knew YOU would, that's the difference", she said.
A new spark was lit inside of me upon hearing her say that and I knew where she was going with it and was so happy to hear it, know it and feel it.
It was as exciting as it was frightening because the longer this went on the greater the chance of slipping up, getting caught, being transparent and also making it harder to stop. We were gathering momentum and were loaded heavy with feelings, this train would take a long time to stop.
We leaned in to kiss and I reached for her pussy as she reached for my cock. She parted her legs and let me rub her slit, it was moist but it needed more so I broke our kiss and sat up,
"Get on your knee's" I said.
She rolled over and pulled her knee's under her and lifted her butt in the air. I got in behind her, it wasn't the best angle but I got my face down there and started to lick her pussy from behind.
She pulled the two pillows to her and shoved them under her chest to help prop herself up while I worked. I never touched her clit rather I licked her cunt lips and valley then rimmed her brownie hole,
"ahhhhhhhh", she breathed out ever so lightly.
I went back at her slit and lapped at it then I would turn my head slightly and work my tongue into her cunt hole then back out to lick her entire snatch with the flat of my tongue.
Once her cunt was sufficiently wet I worked on her brownie hole some more. She really liked a good ass fucking, more than she initially realized, and I was going to take her ass tonight.
She did tell me before that she liked it when she could get it but worried about my size however, she said the way I did things to her and the way she felt it was much more comfortable and pleasurable then she would have imagined.
With her thoroughly stimulated, and myself as well, I backed away and she laid down on her side and I scooted back up behind her as she raised her leg.
We found it became easier for her if she laid like that and I got her from behind. I slid down a little and moved into position, placing my solid member at her entrance and pushed in,
"OH MY GOD BABY", I moaned as my cock slid in to the halfway point. Her cunt was on fire, it was truly like putting my cock in an oven. I stopped to feel the pleasure of the heat and softness of her inner folds as it caressed my aching dick.
I eased out then pushed back in,
"UHHHH DAVID", she said as I slid my full length inside her.
OH CINDY, IT'S SO HOT INSIDE YOU", I said.
"IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU BABY", she said.
She felt amazing inside, I started fucking in and out of her and I was taking my sweet time as I worked slowly and methodically.
I took long slow strokes and rubbed up and down her back with one hand while I took my other hand and reached under her raised leg and fingered her clit,
"OH DAVID, I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS, NEVER HAD IT LIKE THIS", she said.
We were making love the best way we could, the only way we could, right now.
"THAT'S HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE", I said.
We weren't just having sex we were expressing something more than just satisfying a basic need. She was squeezing my dick with each stroke and I was feeling her body, there was no lust or overheated desire except for the desire to feel more than simple sexual satisfaction. Right now we were being one with each other and in a way I have almost never felt with any other woman, with the exception of her friend and my former girlfriend Amy.
"YOU JUST DO IT SOO GOOD AND MEANINGFUL", she said.
I was falling in, deeper and deeper and no it wasn't just the sex rather our actions at this moment was simply another way to express feelings for each other.
"IT'S JUST THE WAY I.........FEEL", I said as I searched for words, different words than what I was going to say. I/we were physically expressing it but the words haven't been spoken. This was becoming dangerous.
We were becoming more attached as we talked to one another and the more we talked the more the feelings grew and as those feelings grew the sex was transformed into more, much more than it was initially intended.
We were transmitting feelings to each other and we were being gratified on a higher and much different level.
As I moved in and out of her I savored every second, every squeeze and every inner fold of her vagina. I was deep inside her with the bottom of each stroke, I was deep in her already pregnant belly, wishing I was the one who knocked her up.
The thought of being inside her married pregnant pussy felt so good, not only did we need each other and want each other, we had other feelings now and of course it was so wrong and nasty that we were having this affair.
I barely knew or heard her building to a climax and with an almost inaudible,
"ahhhhhh", from Cindy, things suddenly became a bit more slippery. The fluid she secreted didn't gush out like before rather it seemed to envelope my cock in a warm bath of her feelings for me.
As I continued my slow strokes she rocked her hips forward and moving her butt down, like she was trying to get me to pull out of her, this was a signal. Without needing to say a word I knew what she wanted, and I was more than happy to oblige.
After she had cum her entire crack was slippery wet because of our position and the amount she expelled and it was perfect for what we both wanted to do now.
I pulled out of her warm sopping wet love tunnel and moved my pole to her her backdoor. She really liked it there and we rarely had a session that she didn't want me to have my dick in her ass.
I let her control that though, when she wanted to do that she let me know. Having anal sex was going to be at her comfort level for all I was concerned and fortunately she liked it quite a bit.
With my cock in place I pushed and pierced her hole with the tip if my cock, it opened right up and I easily slid in just past the head. She reached back placing a hand against my hip, she knew I wasn't going to ram into her but her move was instinctive, as was the tightening of her anus. Of course my instinct upon the resistance is to push harder, which I did then I stopped and she eased up, our moves were in sync.
I was gentle with her when she needed it and rough when she wanted it, we were in tune with each other and we shouldn't be and at the same time it was nice to be that way with someone.
She went from pushing her hand against my hip to grabbing it and pulling me. It was ok too continue so I pushed in to the fattest part of my dick then stopped,
"OHHHHH DAVID, I LOVE YOU INSIDE OF ME", she moaned out.
Her juice was incredibly slippery and it made things much less effortless, that plus our previous sessions have opened her up so I slid in a little more,
"UHHHHH, I LOVE BEING IN YOU BABY", I groaned as my dick went on past the halfway point.
"I WANT ALL OF YOU IN MEEEEEE", she said loudly. With that I pushed in, the feel of her hole wrapped around my shaft as I moved in was exquisite,
"OH CINDY BABYYYYYY", I yelled as I bottomed out.
We were booth breathing hard from stimulation right now, you would of thought we just had an excessive workout and we have only gotten started. I moved in and out of her, our feelings for one another were still being transmitted but another fire was lit and now another need was already boiling while I increased my motion. It didn't take long to go from making love to now just plain fucking her in the ass.
"I JUST CAN'T HOLD OUT BABY", I yelled as I pumped her harder and faster.
My lust had taken over now and as I dug my fingers into the flesh of her slender hip I was pulling her while I raised my leg up to not only keep her leg raised but to raise it higher as I attempted to bury as much dick inside her as I could.
"I KNOW, JUST CUM IN ME, I WANT YOUR CUM IN MEEEE", she screamed.
I was thrusting, I was gasping for breath, I was at the bursting point. I blocked out anything and everything now and only concentrated on my need, I felt selfish but I didn't care as I built to an explosion,
OH, OH, OH, OH, OH CINDYYYYY, UH, UH, UH, UH", I CAN'T HOLD IT, I...I..I'M SHOOOOTTTTINNNGGGGG, I screamed out as the feelings I had for her blasted from my dick hole and shot deep into her guts.
I knew I had shot all I had in one huge stream but as my cock muscles involuntarily convulsed, like having dry heaves, the feelings and tingling in my dick caused me to groan,
"OH, OH, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH CINDY BABYYYYYYY", I yelled as my cock spasmed. It felt like I continued to shoot but I couldn't stop it, the feeling was to good and great then I began to come down from it,
OH, OH, OH, oh, oh, ohhhhhhhh, that felt good, so goooood honey", I began loudly then drifted into a whisper as the convulsions in my dick eased then,
"WHEW", I expressed as I pulled my dick from her ass then slumped on my side as my now limp arm still rested on her hip, everything I had in me from energy to lust to "love" just exited through my peehole and into Cindy.
After a couple minutes of rest I moved up to cuddle with this sweet angel, I snugged up to her back and wrapped an am around her again and pulled her close, she wrapped her arms around my arm. I moved her long blond hair from the nape of her neck and planted a few kisses there then nuzzled my head behind hers,
"That was amazing baby", I said and with that she purred,
"mmmmmmm", she breathed out.
I had thoughts and feelings running through my head and even opened my mouth to speak then stopped myself. I/we have said it in actions but stopped at expressing it in words other then subtle or round about ways.
I am the one that is single and currently uncommitted so it would be easy for me to say "I LOVE YOU" or "I WANT TO BE WITH YOU" but that wouldn't be fair. Did I want that, YEAH but but who was I kidding. Along with being unfair I was afraid of rejection, rightful but reluctant rejection but rejection none the less.
She had a lot to loose and even though I knew she felt what I felt it wouldn't be right if I expressed it and led her down a slippery slope, she would have to be the lead on things because of our differing situations.
I was unconsciously squeezing her tighter as I laid there snuggled up while having all these thoughts. I needed to let go but didn't want to and then I snapped back to when she spoke,
"David, I don't want this to end like this, not now, not.......", her voice drifting off
"YET, you mean", I asked.
There was a long pause then she quietly said, "yes".
We both intended to delay the inevitable but neither wanted to actually say it. It was going to stop at some point but more importantly we both felt the same way.
We laid there again, talking about our situations and the attention I provide her that she didn't get even when she wasn't pregnant. She expressed that she has never received or had such passion before.
"David, I want to make love to you when I am not pregnant. I have to know what it's like", she said.
"Are you sure about that when we were only "helping each other out", I said.
"Is that the way you feel !", she asked. I felt her hurt pang radiate through her and into me.
"NO, I care about you and don't want to mess anything up for you", I said.
"You want to stop" ?, she asked.
"No, I don't....I can't,....I..I..just can't", I said. I wanted to say "I love you" not I just can't. I wanted to say it so bad but didn't, we didn't.
We decided to keep on and even though we knew Brad would not be leaving town again until after the baby was born we discussed plans to get together again, we needed it.
She didn't work anymore and I had time off I could use at work and this train rolled on..............................
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