I am a firm believer, that we have no more choice, as to what we are drawn to sexually, than we have over what our taste buds like, when we sit down at the table.
I was 11 years old, when I had to go up and live, with my aunt and uncle. They also had a 15 year old son, named Tommy. Somebody that I've tried to forget about all of these years but couldn't.
No, I didn't like him, like a boy likes a girl, if that's what your thinking. But he did awaken something inside of me, that I've never been able to get rid of, even after all of these years.
We used to sleep in the same bedroom, so it was easy for him to get to me.
He used to wait until he knew that everybody else in the house was asleep and then he'd pull his covers down and lay there stroking his long skinny boner and make it " Squirt."
It was during one of these times, that he was playing with it, that he caught me peeking at it and the next thing I knew, he was getting up and coming over to the side of my bed and " Offering it," to me.
I was to naive to understand, what was going on and what he was trying to get me to do. I hadn't jacked off yet, so I really didn't understand what was going on, even though I had watched him doing it, more than afew times.
When he couldn't get me to do anything with it, he went back over to his bed and started playing with it again, like nothing had happened.
Maybe nothing had happened to him but something strange had happened to me, something that I didn't understand yet.
Afew nights later, he came back and stood beside my bed, once again offering it to me but not saying a word.
I still didn't understand, what he wanted me to do with it. So, I just laid there and didn't do anything.
He stood there for the longest time, before finally going back over to his bed and played with it again, until it squirted.
I guess I finally figured out, what he wanted me to do with it. Because the next time he came over to my bed, I reached out and took ahold of it, while he stood there and worked it back and forth, until he whispered, " Stop " and went back over to his bed, just before it squirted.
After he had gotten me to play with " It " he stopped doing it himself and would just come over to my bed and get me to do it. Always pulling away and going back to his bed, before he'd let out a strange little moan and I knew, that he had " Squirted " again.
I didn't mind doing it, I don't know why. I guess because he wasn't hurting me or making me do it or whatever.
Being a boy and having another boy getting you to play with his dick does something strange, inside of you. I don't really know how to explain it. It's like your never really a complete boy again.
Whatever that means.
I don't know how many times he had come over to my bed and gotten me to " Play " with it, before it happened.
He was standing there, getting me to play with it, when all at once he reached down, took ahold of it and whispered, " Kiss it," and I couldn't believe what he had just told me to do and he said it again, " Kiss it." When I was finally able to say, " No," he went back over to his bed and I knew that he was mad at me. And for some weird reason, I felt bad. I don't know why.
The next few times that he had it out playing with it, when everybody else was asleep, he stayed over on his bed, it was like he had completely eleminated me, from his game or whatever. Again, I felt bad. I don't know why. It was like I was being " Cheated " or whatever.
Needless to say, the very next time, that he came back over to the side of my bed and held it out to me, telling me to " Kiss it." Without even hesitating, I kissed the end of it. I guess because I didn't want him to go away again or whatever.
Again, he wasn't hurting me, so I did it.
He would lay over on his bed playing with his boner and all of a sudden, just get up and come over to the side of my bed. Standing where my head was and hold it there, waiting for me to " Do it " and for whatever the reason, I would. Sometimes he'd make me kiss it 2 or 3 times before he'd go back over to his bed and " Finish " it off.
No, I had no desire to suck on another boy's dick but he got me to do it anyway, by getting to me, when I was asleep, the first few times.
Even though I was 11 years old, I still sucked my thumb, while I was sleeping. I don't know why.
Anyway that's how he got to me, if that's what you want to call it.
I don't know how many times he had stood next to my bed and held it to my mouth and got me to suck on it, before I woke up one time and caught him doing it.
I don't know what woke me up. All I know is that I had the taste of pee in my mouth and must have thought, that I had wet the bed and opened my eyes and he was standing there whispering, " Oh yeah, oh yeah," over and over again, before I finally understood that he had the end of his dick in my mouth and I jerked away from it.
I don't know if I was scared or what, all I know it that I heard myself whispering, " What are you doing " as he stood there, with his boner still sticking straight out and then without saying a word, he just turned and went into the bathroom. And once again, I knew that he was mad at me.
This time he really got to me by totally ignoring me, like I wasn't even there, for over a week. I don't know to this very day, why that bothered me so much but it did, really did. And somehow he knew it. And then it happened again.
He may have been coming over to my bed every night, for the whole week, I don't know.
All I know is that one night I was asleep and could once again smell and taste pee. As I opened my eyes, I saw him standing there again but this time instead of jerking away from it and making him mad at me again. I just closed my eyes, hoping that he hadn't seen them open and started sucking on it, pretending that it was my thumb.
It was the 6th or 7th time, that he had snuck over to my bed, in the middle of the night and was getting me to suck on it, like it was my thumb,when it happened.
He was whispering and saying, " Oh yeah, oh yeah, over and over again, when all at once he got real quiet and then groaned, as his skinny boner jerked 2 or 3 times in my mouth, before he pulled it out and said, " I'm sorry," and ran into the bathroom.
Leaving me laying there, with his 3 or 4 drops of " Boy cum " in my mouth.
I can't even describe the feelings that I was going through, as I laid there feeling weird because my boy cousin, had just " Fucked me in my mouth," with his long skinny boner.
When he finally came out of the bathroom, I ran in and closed the door, not wanting him to see me, as I stood over the white toilet and tried to get it to run off of my tongue but it wouldn't come out and I had to spit it out.
The next few times that he came over and got me to suck on it again, he would say, " You better stop " and I would. Watching as he went back over to his bed and " Finished " it off. Then it happened again.
Only this time, it was my fault and not his. Because when he said, " You better stop," I didn't and the next thing I knew, he was once again" Finishing it off," in my mouth and I let him. I don't know what had changed in me but something sure had.
The weird part about it, was that after he'd squirt and leave his 3 or 4 drops of " Boy cum " in my mouth, he'd run into the bathroom and wash his dick off, like my mouth was dirty or something. I never did understand that.
I used to hate him, for making me lay there, with " it " in my mouth, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom, so I could go in and spit " it " out.
No, I had never seen a movie or anything like that, that told me to spit it out. It was just something that I felt that I " Needed " to do, so I did it.
But eventually that changed too, as eventually he was getting me to " Swallow it."
And then I felt even more " Guilty " because another boy was getting me to " Eat " him and I wasn't a girl, I was a boy.