Gender: Female Age: Secret Location: N/A
|Introduction: Again, due to my stories being taken down because of a misunderstanding, I have to apologize for it! Here's the next part of the 'Officer Matthews' series, though! Enjoy! For those who haven't read the first chapters, a short summary is included! Enjoy!|
Summary of parts 1-7: When 17 year old Elizabeth Turner gets almost "raped" by her so called boyfriend, Spencer, she finds herself in a tight position after Robert Matthews—otherwise known as Gary Smith by his colleagues—saves her from things going too far. Robert comforts Lizzie throughout the night until she falls asleep. A few hours later, she wakes up to take a bath. However, Robert wakes up and insists he needs to use the restroom. She lets him in reluctantly and, though it's wrong, she soon finds herself lost in his arms. However, just as soon as they were about to take things to a whole new level, Elizabeth's mom, Stella, walks in on them and makes Robert leave the house. After this whole incident, Elizabeth seeks comfort in the arms of her best friend, Jared Holloway. They end up as a couple. They start off great on the first few months but when they're about to step into the intimate level, Elizabeth accidentally says Robert's name. Making Jared stop. She leaves, ashamed of herself for thinking of Robert. That same night, when she's taking a shortcut in her car to get home, she goes over the speed limit and a police cruiser appears behind her, blaring it's light. The surprise she got when she realized it was officer Matthews was enough to fill her up with happiness. She soon finds herself in his arms and having vigorous sex with him on the back of his cruiser.
Though everything seemed perfect then, Elizabeth gets into a car accident soon afterwards and wakes up a few weeks later from a comma to find Robert and Stella holding hands, married. That's when Elizabeth decides to make him pay. After she has recovered completely, Robert takes her to his brother's house. There she meets Allan and soon starts to see him as the perfect weapon. So when Robert gives her a day at the spa where Allan works, she takes advantage of it by flirting shamelessly with Allan. Though that only ended up in a few passionate kisses, Robert got pretty pissed off about it. When they got home, they both got into a fight. Though it was pretty intense, they both ended up having sex and telling each other how much they loved each other.
Just when they thought everything was going to be fine, something entirely different happened. Elizabeth finds herself facing Officer Lance, otherwise known as her dad, whom she thought had been dead for the past ten years. Robert goes to jail for being involved with a minor and Elizabeth gets into a heated fight with her father over it. Soon Robert is released and all charges are dropped. But when Elizabeth's father drops him off, she finds out a horrible truth that destroys her and makes her resent Robert. She finds out he wasn't who he said he was at all. His real name was Gary and he was working for her dad during the time being. Robert tries to explain how things happened but Elizabeth hears none of it.
Elizabeth moves in with her father after finding out her mother had been involved in the little plot, too. Though she doesn't forgive her father right away, she finds herself caring for him deeply as she should. A year has passed and it's Christmas. Charlie—her dad's name—wants to visit his family in Ireland. Elizabeth refuses to because of the way she had been treated unfairly by them. She gets into a verbal fight with her father which eventually leads to sex like every single fight she soon finds herself getting into with him. Though the relationship they're hiding is wrong, it makes Elizabeth feel happy again so she doesn't care for the consequences.
As another year goes by, Elizabeth is visited by a tall, dark-haired, brown eyed man whom she knows too well. Robert is back in her life. Suddenly involved in her life but surprisingly enough, married to Serena, the governor's daughter; gorgeous, smart Serena.
The last chapter ended up on Charlie and Elizabeth having sex just after Elizabeth had gotten back from a coffee shop where Robert had appeared and had kissed her outside, his way of saying good-bye to their relationship.
The next three weeks flew by fast. Faster than I had expected it to. Dad and I didn't go to the dinner we were invited to. Serena was a bit upset at this but she didn't complain. She visited us—well, my dad, really—almost everyday. Sometimes Gary came along. And sometimes he didn't.
I, on one hand, was glad he didn't come. Every time he did come, the room was somehow filled with an awkward, intense tension in between all of us. Serena was excluded from it. She never knew what I meant to Gary, I suppose. Or what happened between us, for that matter. He'd have to consult me first if he ever wanted to do that.
The worst part of him being here sometimes were the times when we were left alone for a few minutes. Gary—A.K.A. Robert—always looked at me with this intense, hot glare. It wasn't bad. But it seemed as though he was watching my every move as he shamelessly undressed me with his eyes. Of course, he had already seen me naked.
Perhaps the time that has passed made him forget or something. I could only make out certain images of his body. His ass, for example. God, every time he used to turn around when he was naked, I had always had the desire to touch it for some reason. It always looked so firm, strong and, er, 'round.' Well-formed, I'll say.
Anyway, when he looked at me that way, I felt my stomach clenching involuntarily. I felt nauseated. My legs kept closing and I was very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because I just wasn't used to this. I've never been in that position before so being in it made me feel queasy and somehow—horny. His glare was just so intense, it compelled me and made me squirm. I felt like I could just go up to him, tell him what I still felt for him, and then kiss him as hard as I could.
An impossible thought. But one should never say never, huh? The impossible is possible.. Given the circumstances, of course. I smile at that thought. Amazed at my silliness.
"Dad!" I call out. It was close to night. The sun was falling on the horizon. I had been staring at it for what seemed like half an hour. I was quite enthralled by the beauty of it. The different shades of red, orange, and yellow it radiated.
Dad's voice is barely audible, "In the restroom! What do you want?" he was taking a shower. I sigh and keep looking out his window. Something about it brought forth a memory. A very distant memory. I blocked it out.
The last thing I wanted was to get mad at dad right now. With a shaky sigh, I hear the door to the restroom open. Moments later dad wraps his arms around me from behind. I lean back against him. As I look up, I notice the distant look on his face. He hugs me tighter, making me feel his fresh, wet skin.
"Promise me," he starts, his voice a tender but serious whisper, "that you'll never lie to me. About anything. And promise me that no matter what happens—if anything does indeed happen in the next few days—that you won't lose your faith in me. That you will stay strong. Be strong for the both of us," okay. That definitely got my full attention.
"Dad," I start, alarmed at the way he was speaking. "What's going on?" I could feel an odd, creepy feeling gripping my heart. Be strong? Why is he asking these things of me?
"In case anything else happens," he keeps going, oblivious to my words for now, "I want you to go to Gary and stay with him."
"Dad, what's going on? Are you in some sort of trouble? What's happening, Father? You know you can trust me." His green, cat-like eyes bore on my face.
"Promise me," is all he asks of me. It's all I'll get in reply.
"I promise," I say bleakly. Dad's naughty smile returns.
"You know," he breathes into my ear, turning me around so I could face him. "I'd really like something else from you right now."
"Like what?" I ask, noticing the tone of voice he was using. He whispers it into my ear. I start to blush immensely as his words become more vulgar and hot. In my head, vivid pictures are being painted one after one. I can't help the rush of heat that goes through my body at that moment. My hands grip his hard arms as I imagine them wrapping around me tightly as he makes passionate love to me. I feel my nipples stiffen and my pussy starting to lubricate itself as a result of my arousal. My eyes close and I start to melt into his arms. His voice is soft, enticing, enthralling, exhilarating.
Oh, god... He was using such language...
I moan. His breath was hitting my skin, making it hot. "Dad," I say once he's done. "I've never heard you talk like that before…," the amazement in my voice was noticeable. He smiles before placing his lips on my cheek.
Just then I notice Dad's shirt unbuttoned and his tie hanging loose around his neck. I watch as he unties his pants before getting into bed with me. His lips trace my neck in a soft way. Making it tickle. But I don't respond. I jus lay still.
"You get mad at everything, dad. I'm starting to think that coming to live with you wasn't the best idea," I dare to say.
His lips stop then. I gulp as his face comes to view just on top of mine. His features are set. I am able to make out every curve, every contour, every feature on his face. The view is quite breathtaking for me. His fingers, once still by either side of me, begin to softly trace my legs. My breath catches in my throat. I trace my fingers around his chiseled cheekbones, his jaw, his mouth... Just before entangling in a bone-crushing kiss. My fingers quickly hang on to his hair, messing up the well-combed look it always has.
The flame burning inside of me starts to burn brighter. My nipples become painstakingly erect as they keep brushing against his exposed chest. I reach down in between us to grab a hold of his cock. He had nothing to fear. I wasn't going to run away again. Not at all.
Of course, I never knew just how wrong I was. Or how the next few days were going to play out. Dad instantly spreads my legs out and reaches down between us to take out his erect cock. I look down at what he does and notice the soft skin pulling back further away from the head of his mushroom-shaped head. He mumbles something into my ear that makes my skin prickle with excitement.
"Dad," I moan in a whisper. He gets on his elbow. His other hand is around his cock, keeping a hold on it while he rubs the head of it against my clit. I whimper as my hips rock up off the bed. But he won't leave my clit alone.
"You're so wet," he grunts. The head of his cock feels soft—spongy against my clitoris. My eyes close. My hands keep a strong hold on his shoulders as my hip keeps raising off the bed in ecstasy-filled rocky motions. Dad keeps rubbing his cock against me. Keeping me shuddering relentlessly. It felt so good.
"Dad!" I say, a sudden wave of heat taking over and heightening my senses. I was aware of him more. His soft, lean chest hovering above me as he keeps going. I know he's trying not to cum like this. His hips keep giving small jerks as though he's going to stop. But he doesn't. My eyes start to roll back as my clit keeps being stimulated. A sudden rush of heat and somehow tickles taking over that sweet, special spot.
Before I know it, dad is thrusting his hard rod into my pussy. It appreciatively welcomes him inside as I feel my walls contract around his head as he keeps proceeding in deeper and deeper. I give a small cry of pleasure, hanging on to his loose tie. Pulling him closer by doing so. My hips rock up, a way to push more of him in, and then suddenly down until I feel he's halfway there.
His head leans down then to my still tender breast. I feel his teeth drag across my sensible, erect nipple. He plunges back down and begins to suck on it as gently as he can, his tongue pushing up against it as well. His other hand grips my other breast before he thrusts his hips back and forward again. Working a slow, steady rhythm that both pleases me yet makes me impatient for more. The way his cock keeps pressing firmly against the back wall of my cervix is making me shudder slightly with a fresh wave of pleasure.
"Dad, go faster. Please," I grasp his tie harder to pull him down onto me but he dodges it by kissing my neck instead. He does, however, increase his pace. Raising his head off to get on his knees with both hands at either side of my hips, he starts to pump his cock in and out of me with much more force. His hands grab a hold of my hips which makes me grind back against him. I keep seeing the way his cock keeps disappearing almost all the way inside of me. Stretching me and leaving me with a sense of great pleasure.
It's not long before I begin to feel myself tremble in pure ecstasy. My back arches off the bed. Gripping the bed sheets tighter with my hands, my eyes begin to roll back and close down halfway as my mouth opens in a small O in pleasure. "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" I gasp, reaching down to rub my engorged clit. At first touch, it feels as though it can't take any more. But god does it send helpless waves of heat and bliss throughout me. Making my whole body sticky with sweat and my nipples even more tender and erect.
"Dad!" I hiss as he grunts so brutally, you'd think he was an animal. "Dad! Harder! Harder," I can barely get the words out before his hold on me tightens and his strokes of passion and lust increase in speed and force. These rough movements make me shake. I try to push him away once the pleasure becomes somewhat too much for me. "You don't need to keep going…you don't need to keep going!" I gasp repeatedly while my eyes close and I try to push him away again to cover my throbbing, hot cunt. But instead of stopping, dad just grabs a firm hold of both of my wrists with one of his hands and keeps my hands still. He keeps pumping his cock into me. Making my whole body flush with heat and bliss.
Dad keeps muttering how close he is. To hold on a bit longer—but the damn feeling is there again. That overwhelming feeling that heightens all of my senses, spreading throughout all of my body and making the pleasure unbearable. I whimper as it makes my hips raise off the bed and I begin to cum. Dad, feeling the grip on his swollen cock tighten, grunts something and shoots his seed up my womb.
My eyes close as the orgasm keeps going and dad's cock keeps emptying inside of me. The warm, thick liquid fills me up. Making me feel full. Just as he pulls out dad lays on top of me, nibbling on my neck as he grinds himself against me. Mumbling something about me being a good girl for doing this.
My hands fall limply besides either side of me, breathless and weak.
The next day, Gary came over to talk about certain things with my Dad. Disappointed that I wasn't included in their little private group, I went into the kitchen to cook some food. Today was Flor's day off. So I had to do all the cooking. Not that I was complaining or anything. I enjoyed the task.
After making some pasta with chicken bits and jalapeño seeds, I serve myself and leave some for dad. Gary wouldn't want some. And now that I think about it, they had been stuck up there for hours. That odd, creepy feeling comes back to shake me. What dad had said yesterday shook me to the core. Not only did it leave me mauling over his words and worried sick, but it also left me sad and somehow... empty. There was something wrong here. Something he wasn't telling me.
So as soon as Dad and Gary came down, laughing over something that I did not know of, I was shocked. They were getting along. Ah, nice...
Dad calls out to me after a while, "Eli, are you in the kitchen?"
Both Robert and Dad step through the kitchen archway. They look as though they're friends like that. Hmmm…
"Sorry, do you guys want something to eat? I made some of your favorite pasta," my eyes fall on Gary's instead of my dad's. They both liked this dish of mine, I remembered. Gary, although looking willing to accept it, said no, that Serena was waiting. At this he elbowed my dad. Dad smirked. They seemed to be acting like two teenage boys who knew something but weren't sharing it. Which was something they were not—teenagers, I mean.
I narrow my eyes on them as Dad comes and serves himself, turning his back on us. Gary eyes me. Eyes twinkling with something I can't—once again—put my finger on. I blink rapidly and look down at my full plate. Untouched. Too much thinking over nothing. He came up to me, took the fork from my hand, and started to dig in. He smiled, daring me to say something.
I sighed. "Yeah, Serena's waiting, alright," I say sarcastically.
"She'll be alright."
Just then the doorbell rings. Dad does me the favor of getting it himself. Gary touches my hand. I recoil it from him instantly, startled that he would touch me. "Yes?" I ask, noticing his face. He had that naughty look on his face again.
"You're breathtaking, did you know that?" he says, grabbing a hold of my chin and making me look at him.
"No, I didn't," I sigh. Accidentally then, my hand pushes the fork out of his plate. "I'm so sorry!" I apologize. Instantly, I go around the counter to retrieve it.
"It's OK, I got it," starts Gary, crouching down at the same time I did. We both end up grabbing either end of the fork. Our fingers brush lightly. An electric jolt surges through me and I gaze at him. His whole face is suddenly relieved of emotions for the slightest bit. In the next few seconds that followed, we had come extremely close together. Ignoring the fact that Dad was just in the next room, talking to someone.
"I really have missed you," whispers Gary. "I've been thinking of you too much. Every single time I kiss HER, I think of you and the softness of your lips. The way they felt against mine." He takes a deep breath before caressing my cheek and smiling faintly.
Very slowly, we stand up and face each other. "It's over for us, Gary.. I hope you know that," I whisper softly. The ghost of a smile appears on his lips.
With difficulty, Gary says, "I know," before he pulls away. Somehow I feel guilty for all of this. He still likes me and even said that he thought of my lips whenever he was kissing Serena. Beautiful, incredibly smart Serena. I couldn't say the same. Because every time I kissed dad, every thought of him just evaporated and left my head.
I punch Gary's arm. Hard. With a pained expression, he looks at me, rubbing his arm. "What was that for!?" he exclaims.
"For never looking for me after that night!" I punch him again. And then again. "You're an idiot!" and I found myself somehow releasing all those pent up emotions I had kept for so long on him. All the anger, the lies, the shed tears. "You're an asshole! You should have fought for me had you really loved me!" I keep shouting at him.
How is it that he just comes up to me until now and tells me this? How? I punch his arm again. Not caring if he does get a million bruises after this. What infuriates me the most is that he's just standing there, looking at me with a blank expression, being tough. As though he's not noticing my punches at all.
With no warning at all, he stands extremely close to me. He holds my face and starts to kiss me with a force I never thought he had. It's gentle and at the same time possessive and demanding. The soft curve of his lips make mine part and I begin to kiss him back, releasing my anger this way. My hands fly up to his shirt. I grip it tightly and don't let go. I feel like every single particle inside of me is exploding with a wave of excitement and happiness I never thought I'd be able to experience again. It feels as though I'm kissing him in such a hot way that it actually feels as though his lips are lava against mine.
"You're an idiot," I whisper, still clutching his shirt as tight as I can once I pull away.
"But you still love this idiot," he whispers back, chasing after my lips. I let him. My arms tangle around his neck and I start to kiss him again. This time with more passion. My Father was completely forgotten at the moment. It was like only Gary and I existed.
A soft gasp makes us separate. We turn to the source in a flustered condition. There, on the doorway with my enraged father, stood Serena. Her big, hazel eyes looked shocked and glassy. As though she were breaking, I realize. Her soft features show a vulnerability I hadn't noticed before.
Before I know it, Gary is chasing after her in a jumble of words. I watch as he goes. A few seconds later, I hear the door shut hard behind them.
Slowly, I raise my eyes up to my dad's and show him a goofy smile. Dad is definitely mad. I gulp and try to quickly walk out of the kitchen. He stops me as I walk past him. His hand is an iron grip on my arm. I gulp again. He was looking at me as though I was his biggest disappointment.
"Do you always have to ruin everything, Elizabeth?" I felt the disgrace seeping into his voice. "That was the governor's daughter!" he booms. For the first time in a while, I see those green eyes of his flare up in anger. I have to blink twice before I realize what's going on. Again.
"Dad, I'm sorry—" I choke. But he won't hear it. He's inclined on making me feel like crap. And I deserve it. I deserve the humiliation as he abruptly let's go of my arm and begins to tell me just how much I reck everything. How much of a disaster I am.
I keep my head down as I run out of his presence, up the stairs, and into my room. He was right, after all. I reck everything I touch. No matter how much I try not to do harm or mess it. I'm just chaos waiting to happen.
So, with that thought in my head, I do what I do best and shut it all out. A new idea growing in my head. With a slow, gentle movement, I lock the door, look for my laptop, boot it up, and find what I'm looking for.
As the days passed, I felt quite empty and alone. Dad, once again, wouldn't talk to or even look at me. I waited patiently for the college reply. Not speaking a word of it even when we were eating silently and awkwardly. I would glance at him and he would stop eating just to scowl at me.
Truly, I did not know why he was mad at me over THAT. What Gary and Serena did was their business, not his. Then again, though, Gary and I had kissed. Right in front of either of them. In my defense, I was completely oblivious to my surroundings. I guess that's what dad is more mad about. I've never completely kissed him that way before. I've never given in to him completely.
I would say that he actually was jealous. But that would be flattering myself. I don't think dad cares that much about me, anyway. He wasn't there for me when I needed him. When that thing with Spencer happened (though that doesn't really affect me anymore).
"Elizabeth," my dad says, his tone soft. I don't look at him. Or at least I try hard not to. His voice is alluring. Still though, I don't look. Not even let him know he's got my attention. "I know that you're mad because of what I said—" I can't talk about this. Not now. Instead, I cut him off by standing up abruptly and letting my fork fall, clattering against the plate as I push the chair back. Water spills out of the wine cup and damps the delicate textile beneath it.
With a slight look at him, I speak loud and clear, "Screw you, Dad. You're mad over something that you shouldn't even be worrying about. What's wrong with you?" I spat. It somehow pains me to be disrespectful to him. It's not right.
I don't wait for an answer from him. Instead, I calmly leave to go and check the mail. I find my heart racing as I approach the gate. I ask one of the guards for it. My heart skips a beat as I glance down at the big yellow packet. It feels heavy and it's addressed to me.
With a delighted cheer, I quickly walk up into the house and shut the door. Leaving the other mail by the tall, flower base table near the door. My fingers brush against soft paper. And I smile to myself as I begin to read what's imprinted on it. I start to make my way up the stairs and walk towards my room without looking up when, all of a sudden, I run into a hard yet soft wall and stumble. The papers fall out of my hand and I almost fell were it not for dad holding me very still around my waist.
A worried look is spread all over his face. I sigh and lean down to get it with no words directed towards him. I try to reach for the letter when it slips out of my grasp. "Penn State? Why such a literate school? It's too far away, Elizabeth. Too expensive."
"I don't care," I snatch the paper from his grasp. "Besides," I say, "I still have my scholarship."
"You don't have my permission, Elizabeth!"
"I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions, dear 'Father.'" I say with sarcasm. I curse under my breath before retrieving to my bedroom. I turn to close the door but find dad right behind me. With a gasp, I take a step back as he comes closer. And then another and another as he keeps coming temptingly close. I keep backing up slowly.
"Dad," I breathe. "What are you doin—" but before I can get the word out, before I can react to what he was about to do, his arms wrap tightly around my torso and lifts me off the floor, making me latch my legs around him in pure shock.
"I'm sorry, princess," he whispers, his lips on my cheek. I feel his hands sustaining my weight from under my butt and then he's kissing me, my lips, my neck, my shoulders. All of which makes me melt. With dad, there were no restrictions I could put up that he wouldn't tear down. I was rubbing myself madly against him. Almost breathless at the way his cock felt against my enflamed pussy. Even if it is through clothe. Dad loved monkey sex. And I wasn't about to deny that I didn't love it, too. Because then I'd be lying. And lying it's not something I enjoy doing.
He mumbled something about ripping my clothe open so we wouldn't have to wait.
"Okay," was all I had to say as I kept kissing his lips whenever I got the chance to. I bit his earlobe when he was through with my shirt, skirt, and panties. He growled. Now, while Dad CAN be gentle sometimes during intercourse, the majority of times there was nothing civilized or tender about his love-making. Quite the opposite. We always somehow ended up with some brushes in private places or, in my case, a stinging, red butt (haha).
After a few minutes of wrestling around with our clothe and our lips chasing each other's, we found ourselves propped against the bed with me on top of him. He kept thrusting into me with such force that I couldn't help but gasp. It went on and on until I could feel the increased tension, the almost-there feeling of impending release. The way his cock felt as he kept thrusting it deeper inside of my love tunnel. I gripped his head to my chest, letting wave after wave of pure earthshaking shudders rippled through me.
My hands gripped his hair tighter as the aftershocks came. We both kept moving against each other with wild, passionate motions. "Go harder, Dad!" I moaned. "Harder. Harder. Harder..." I kept repeating as I rock my hips against him fast. And he did indeed go harder. His voice showed just how lost he was in his ecstasy. "Is...this...hard...enough...for...you?" he grunted. And I could see just how much effort it was taking him to get those few words out. He was too deep into his own bliss. I shrieked and gripped him tighter to me.
With a final, hard-thrust, he buried himself inside of me. He produced a sound from deep inside of him (near his loins, might I add) that sounded like a primitive growl. We both shuddered as he came inside of me. Spurt after spurt of the warm liquid filling me up real good.
I gave one last thrust down before I started to kiss him again. This time more tenderly. "I love you, dad," I whisper before drifting off to sleep in his arms.
But not before hearing the "I love you, too, darling," from him. It felt soothing to know he'll be there when I woke up. His arms wrapped tightly, safely around me. Holding me tight to his warm, soft yet hard body.
While that day was wonderfully amazing and pretty awesome, the next day wasn't. I was startled when there came a loud knock from the door. It sounded somehow odd in the silence. I sigh. I quickly walk up to the door and open it. It was a weekend so Flor wasn't here and I was left alone.
It seemed to me that my life had finally taken a new turn and that I was going to leave the old one behind. That I'd be able to leave Jennifer, Spencer... and even Jared behind. The few people for who I really cared about. I was wrong.
Just as soon as I opened the door, a familiar tall, lanky figure turned around to see me. His curly black hair seemed longer somehow. His startling, bright blue eyes (contacts because his are black) twinkle as he gazes at me. I feel my heart skip a beat as I gaze upon my best friend.
"Oh, CRAP," I say.
"Not what I was going for, but hey!" Jared beams at me.
I awkwardly invite him in. He tries to make small talk. But there was an uncomfortable, creepy feeling gripping my heart. I talked, but Jared could tell there was something wrong with me. Not ten minutes had gone by when there was another knock on the door. I had a bad feeling about this. Jared had been a surprise and everything. Maybe he had forgiven me and everything for saying Robert's name when we were just about to have intercourse. But that didn't mean I had forgiven him for standing me up for Jennifer.
I sigh as I open the door. To my dismay, I find Robert standing there. He came in without asking if he could. I started to say something but then he turned around slowly. Something about his expression and the way he stood told me that I should be quiet and listen. My heart started to skip beats. It was slowly sinking as I noticed the red-blood stains on his shirt and his worried eyes.
"What happened?" I ask him, frowning and ignoring the fact that Jared was just behind Robert, listening intently to our conversation.
Gary took a deep breath and said what he had to say. "I'm so sorry," he whispers. "My most sincerest condolences." I wait for the worst to hit. My hands turning into fists. My mom. My mom... It had probably been her. I stare wide-eyed, anywhere but at him. I was close to crying. So close.. I could feel it. From the very moment I had woken up, I knew this wasn't going to be a good day.
"There was nothing I could do to prevent it," says Robert. Robert. I'll call him that for now.
"What happened?" I choke.
Robert once against takes a deep breath and comes to stand in front of me. His eyes show all the love he feels for me. His hands stroking my cheeks in a soothing manner. "Your dad, Lizzie," he pauses. My heart sinks almost immediately. And I feel my eyes stinging as I fight to hold back tears. My nose flares. "Your dad is dead," my heart sinks even deeper.
"No," I choke out. Suddenly my knees feel very weak. As though they can't hold me up. I stumble and Robert catches me. "No! I don't believe you," I choke out. It isn't true. It's not true. "It's not true! Please tell me it's not true, Robert! Please," I start to let my tears fall then.
"I'd be lying if I said he was alive, Elizabeth," he looked genuinely sad himself. I frown and sniff. I bury my face against his chest. Not caring whether it's bloody or not.
"No," I sob. And suddenly, just when I thought I had everything I needed, it is taken away from me. I start to struggle for breath and begin to hyperventilate. Robert holds me tight and close. Which only makes it all the more harder to breathe for me.
"It's not true," I manage to say. Dark spots had started to form in my vision. I keep crying and choking for breath. Dad's dead. Dad's dead. Dad's dead.
Thar's my last thought before everything suddenly goes pitch black.
I woke up a few moments later to find a set of amazingly blue, bright eyes staring down at me. Somehow everything feels so wrong. Extremely wrong. I gulp in air and then slowly sit up with Jared's help. He gives me some water to drink. I do so.
Gary stands behind him, staring at me with wide, brown glassy eyes. I feel so sad. That's my first thought as I gaze at them both. I need one of them to hug me. To hold me and tell me that no, everything's fine. That it was just a vile lie. Jared is the one who first lifts me up and carries me bridal style to the living room sofa.
I feel sadly empty. Gary comes to sit besides me. I prop my head against Jared's shoulder and place my legs on Robert's. I let tears flow out of my eyes shamelessly. While Dad might not have been the kind to show that much affection, he was still my father. My overprotective, easily enraged, loving father. I just couldn't believe it was all over.
"Shhh," Robert soothes. His hands trace my legs lightly as Jared's fingers smooth out my hair. I can just stare at the window helplessly. My life was broken again. Just when I felt sure that I had found happiness. A safe place to be.
I guess that it's life's way of punishing me for allowing myself to be that happy. For even allowing myself to smile and be overwhelmingly happy. I choke back a sob as I grip Jared's arm. He let's me. It really doesn't feel at all like he had been gone that long at that very moment.
"You'll be OK," he whispers, caressing my hair and kissing my head. And for a slight, millisecond, I think it true.
The funeral was held up on Old Towne's cemetery. Jared, Karla, Gary (I prefer to call him Robert), mom, even Brenda and some other close friends of dad's were there. I couldn't bring myself to meet anyone's eyes so I wore black aviator sunglasses. I also didn't want anyone to see the dark spots around my eyes. A clear sign that I had been up all night mourning my Father. Gary and Jared had been there with me. Jared holding me all the while around the shoulders.
'I want you to go Gary.... In case anything happens, promise me that you'll stay strong...' those words had struck me hard. But I couldn't be strong right now. Not even mom was being strong. Not even Brenda or the people around me were being strong. We all watch in silence as he was lifted down deep into the dirt.
A sudden pang of sadness hit me like a bucket of cold water. I turned to the closest person, which was Jared, and wept. Dad, who had been so just, good... A bit moody at times but amazing. I took a deep breath and gained composure of myself. After we had said our last words to dad, I had found myself in a trance-like state. Unable to bear my lost.
All I knew was that it had been a murder. Someone had assassinated him in cold blood. And I had promised myself that I was going to find that man even if it was the last thing I did.
I let out a shaky breath as Robert holds my free hand and Jared the other. Both of their grips are comforting. As for my mom—she never even approached me before to say sorry. So why should I be with her?
"Elizabeth," says a soft, cool voice I vaguely recognized as Jared's. I was so far away, I could barely hear him. "It's time to go," he says, tugging at my elbow. Gently nudging me so I move.
I look at him. I really, REALLY look at him. And then I turn and walk off without a glance back. Holding my head high and, for once since this whole horrible thing had happened, I stay strong. Not a tear is shed at that moment. Jared and Robert stand by my side as I walk toward the car. Only to find my mom standing by it with a guy who's around my height with startling green eyes. He seemed oddly familiar to me. As though I'd seen him before. Although I haven't. But there was something about that jet black hair and that squared, stony face, though, that gave me an air of familiarity. His high cheekbones...
It couldn't be. I push the thought away and take my sunglasses off. I felt icy so I acted like it. "Wow, mother. I see you've been sleeping with younger men," my tone is hurtful. It's meant to be. She flinches as I say so. I didn't mean it. It's just the way I felt that made me act like this.
"That's my—" the other boy starts in an insecure voice. Mom cuts him off.
"Sweetie, it's been so long. I've been wanting to talk to you," she was sad. I was sad. But what could I do? I just couldn't pretend everything was fine between us. Not in this state.
"Mom, please," there was a pleading to my voice that made her stay still. "I can't deal with you right now. I'm sorry.. I just..." I glance at the guy again and then back at my mom quickly. "Tell me what you want me to know." I was barely aware of the figures of Robert and Jared besides me as they stepped a few feet away, knowing mom would want some privacy. The guy besides her didn't go anywhere.
"There's something your father had been wanting to tell you," says my mother with a soft, genuine sad tone. I wait for whatever it is patiently, wondering how she knew what my father wanted to tell me. She soon explains it, "his lawyer left gave me a CD just a day after his death." I gulp back tears and hold myself straight.
"What is it?" I ask, a creepy feeling going up my spine. All the while I couldn't shake off the guy's stare. It was as though he was trying to see something in me. I don't know. I was too tired and sad to care.
"This is Sebastian," she says, motioning towards the boy with a slight twist of her head. "He's your brother."
A few weeks later I'm sitting down on the patio's small round table. Staring at Sebastian. Taking his eyes in. My eyes narrow on his. His narrow on mine.
"You're 24," I state. As though it's a newfound fact. An interesting one.
"And you're almost 20," his expression doesn't waver. My eyes keep narrowing in on his face. His sharp angles. On anyone, his high cheekbones might have looked soft and vulnerable but not on him, though. It makes him look quite mysterious and arrogant. Which he was to some extent.
All of a sudden, we break into a freaky, big grin. "You're such a sob!" I shriek, a bit happy. Ever since that day at the funeral, Sebastian and I had been trying to get to know each other. While my—I mean OUR—dad's death might still be a fresh, open wound in my heart and I still felt it dearly, Sebastian was a great means of distraction. So were Jared and Robert. Though they weren't around as much. Perhaps that's because they didn't live under the same roof.
A day after dad was buried, we both had a visit from his lawyer. He was only there to give us a CD that Dad himself had recorded. We were both supposed to watch it in private once we really got to know each other. Right now, it was up in my room. Though I didn't want to see it. It brought back memories that I wasn't quite able to handle yet.
I started to get choked up again. I tried to swallow back the sob that was building up. By now we were both laying down on the grass, looking up at the clouds. Something we both seemed to enjoy.
I blink and a tear falls. So I start to cry softly. Trying to keep him from hearing. That's the other reason why we haven't seen the video: the whole fresh wound thing.
I hear a sigh coming from Sebastian's side. In another minute, he's sitting in front of me, wiping my tears away with his thumbs. "I don't expect you to get over this easily," he says genuinely. "I know I can't. But at least try. Just think of how great he was, yes?" he lifts my chin up so I can look at him.
I sniff loudly and nod. He smiles back slightly before hugging me close to him. That's when I decide to just come right out and tell him. No secrets between this sister-brother relationship. It just wouldn't be healthy for it.
"Listen, there's something I want to tell you. I don't know if you want to listen—"
"I do," he interrupts before I can finish.
With a shaky laugh, I keep on going, "I'm a twin." I say. There was no startled look on his face. Just the slight tug at the corner of his lips. He found it amusing.
"I thought you were gonna say something like you were sleeping with our Dad!" he punches my arm jokingly. I nervously laugh, hoping he doesn't notice. Hah. He had struck a cord there. "But anyway, where is my other sister?"
"Dead," I say, puffing out some air. There would have been two of me had there not been some difficulties when my mother was in labor.
"I am, too," he says distractedly. He starts to pick on the grass. "But my brother died in a car accident after he was born," he plucked the grass more roughly than he needed to.
"I'm sorry," I say, unable to keep the words in my head.
"Yeah. My mother died in it, too. Dad was all I had," I try not to gulp. It was a touchy subject. To talk about our father and how he'd had Sebastian just a few years before I was born. I suddenly felt—strangely enough—a sudden wave of happiness and sadness mixed together. I turned around just to see Jared coming out the door from the kitchen.
He waves. Sebastian & I do the same. Sebastian quickly eyes me before standing up and helping me to my feet. "Tonight," he said in a silky, pleasant voice. "Tonight we'll do it," he smirked and left into the house. I didn't know what it said or whatever was in that CD, but I somehow knew Sebastian and I weren't gonna be in this house for long.
"Jared," I greet, unable to meet his gaze. There was little bad blood left between us.
"Lizzie," his voice snapped my head up. I look at him without his contacts on. And smiled. Pitch black. "Let's talk." I knew where this was headed even before he said it.
"No, no, no!" I say in a rush, "I'm good. All is forgiven." I didn't mention the fact that it bothered me still, what he did. But Jared was a good guy. If he did what he did it was simply because I had somehow hurt him by saying Robert's name instead of his.
"You're a good friend," I whisper before stepping into his embrace. Truth be told, I had missed him. He was the closest thing I had to my normal life back in Gilmore. He returns the hug softly before stepping back and saying something that makes me laugh.
"Hah. So you and Sebastian are moving really fast. What with that thing you're doing tonight," he elbows me. I smile slightly and then look at him. There was something that kept nagging at me. Begging to be asked.
"Why now, Jared? Why?"
It takes him a second to answer. And I can't help but wonder just that—it just took a second for my world to come crumbling down when I received...the news. I sigh in desperation at my thoughts. Be strong. Keep yourself strong. Try as I might, it all keeps falling down on me. Robert hadn't really told me how my dad was murdered. Perhaps it was because of how sensible I was at the moment.
"Because I've missed you," he whispers. "Not," he starts, "as my girlfriend." That's a relief. "But as my best friend. Elizabeth, when you left without saying a word to me, I felt oddly different. Like some part of me was missing."
It's something I can't help. He always knew what to say to me. I cling to him as though he's all I can depend on. Just for a few seconds I let myself feel his comforting embrace. I let myself relinquish all those pent up emotions in just that hug.
"I'm sorry, too, Jared," I whisper. My arms tightly clasp around him. It was warm, odd, comforting, and different all together. His hands hold my head close to his shoulder. Being tall and all wasn't exactly helping (we were both the same height.) But oh well!
"Okay, enough," I wipe some tears that had slipped away and look at him. His black eyes, his light complexion. All so familiar to me. "Lets go inside. Sebastian's probably lonely." I wrap my arms under my bust and head in ahead of Jared. Being in a house alone with two boys didn't exactly make me feel comfortable. Perhaps it was because of my dad. Since he was the only one who I spent most of my time with. But than again, one of the guys is my half-brother and the other one is my best friend. There's nothing to fear there.
Also ex, a small part of me reminds me about Jared. I sigh at that and go into the all-too familiar living room. Sebastian was sitting there, staring past the TV at the window. Even if he hadn't known Dad that long, I knew he was sad about it, too. Sebastian had only ever found out about dad two years ago. His mother had told him it before she had so tragically died.
I notice the sharp, hard contours that told me he was trying not to cry. His attention was elsewhere, I conclude. I look behind me at Jared. Just before he reaches us, I make an attempt to cheer Sebastian up by throwing myself on the sofa.
"Hey, you know what I want to do?"
Startled by our sudden appearance and my sudden—supposed—"good mood", he asks me what it is. I can just smile at him and nod towards the second floor. His eyes go wide. I know that he had wanted to see.
In a slow, arrogant voice, he asks me if I'm really up to it. Jared, having no idea what we were talking about at all, stares at us in a weird way.
We both start to laugh. A small, shy laugh from my part, but it's still a laugh. "Jared," I say, "It's just a video that dad left for us. I'll tell you all about it later."
"Oh?" it took a moment for it to sink in. With a dawning realization, he finally got it. "Oh!"
Sebastian gets up quite quickly and heads upstairs.
After seeing Jared to the door, I head back inside. A bit happy and somehow gloomy at the same time. I find Sebastian propped on his elbow on the sofa. Reading his book, looking rather comfortable. I've had a long 'goodbye' with Jared. So I guess that explains it..
Still, though. Something about his posture told me how tense and sad he was. I sigh.
Curious and looking for a way to make the playing of the video longer, I smile at him and sit next to him. "What are you reading?" I ask. Although the cover already says so.
"To Kill a Mockingbird," he says as he closes the small purple book and dismisses it. He already had the control to the DVD in his hands.
"I like that book. Although it's rather dull," I pucker my lips to the side as though I'm not quite sure of the answer myself.
His eyes go wide, "I hate it. I'm only doing it because my girlfriend asked me to. So far, I read the first three chapters and it's awful."
"It's not!" I exclaim, "it gets better!" I poke him. "Besides, I know that not many men like it. Especially YOU. You probably like books about adventure and bloodshed or anything of the sort. Heck, I bet you don't even like books. I bet you like things like Call of Duty, football, or—even worse for me—the whole video game world. Which, might I add, it's awfully stupid and too young for your age." I smile innocently at him.
"Oh God," he says with mock horror, "it's like she knows me already."
"Well, everyone has something they can't live without. For me it's books, make up and..." I stop myself abruptly. I couldn't say the last word. So, instead, I quickly add in a very corny thought, "—and love! But don't worry, there's something a lot of people can't live without. I'll get it out of you soon enough." I had meant to speak with a certain, nice, foolish voice. But by the look on his face, I wasn't so sure.
All of a sudden, there it was again. That steady look he had been giving me for the past two weeks. His eyes glazed over my face as though taking every soft yet sharp angle and then moving on to my throat and waist before going back up to my face and lingering on my mouth. I felt as though I just finished running a marathon by the way my heart kept thudding against my chest so loudly and hard.
"We should probably watch this now," he said abruptly. This broke me out of my reverie. I nodded, glad to have this over with. It probably was just my imagination. Besides, he was my half-brother and he obviously had a girlfriend. Those chided, serious yet attractive looks didn't go to waste. There was a sort of mysterious mist surrounding him. An alluring one to those who didn't know him. I didn't know him—that well. I didn't know him THAT WELL.
"I know that dad never talked about me, but what was he like?" I hated to admit it myself, but there was something different about his tone that hadn't been there before, as if I had been the cause of the sudden change. I wondered if I had somehow made him angry, but shrugged. I hadn't said anything personal or bad, really. So—whatever.
I tousle his already tousled hair playfully. "Come on big bro, let's play it," I smile slightly. His hair was so like my dad's when he didn't put all that much gel in it. I resisted the urge to gasp. There was a big resemblance between the two that I could clearly see. I wondered what he'd look like with his hair combed back away from his face. I shake the thought away and turn my attention to the TV.
It jumped right to the point. No slideshow or introduction or anything. Well—that was dad. He went directly to business. That was one of the main reasons for the lack of oral from his part when we were, Er, ‘shaggin. '’
"Elizabeth," he looked directly into the camera as though he were really seeing me in front of him. He was wearing a gray linen shirt that accentuated his muscles somehow. His hair was loose and looked tousled. It kept tugging at me that I've seen him like that before. When was it?
Oh, yeah! The time he had talked… I let the thought trail off. I really wanted no memoir of this. "I can not begin to express just how proud I am of you and what you've accomplished. Trust me, being the SGA President of Norway High isn't something so easy to get into. But you made it there. And you've made it seem so easy," as he kept going on about my accomplishments and how proud he was, I start to wonder what this was all about. Sure, Norway High was a private high school that not many dared to go to. But it still didn't make much sense—
Just then, it became clear to me. His voice was filled with pride and happiness. "That's why I leave half of my company to you and all of its earnings."
Excuse moi? I didn't know shizz about business. What was this? "I also leave you half of the house. Although, I'd rather you live in the apartment I left you back in Gilmore, near your mother." So far, he hadn't said anything about Sebastian. I could feel his tension, that moment of anticipation radiating off of him. He didn't care about the money, I know. But it was as though with every going second, he grew more and more disappointed for his name not being mentioned. I look back at the screen.
"So, finally, half of my life's worth of money and anything important goes to you." He pauses, and then smiles. His eyes seemed glassy and wide. There was something that I knew was off. He never cried. And he seemed just now like he was about to. "Baby, I love you," he says it in a way that a dad would say it to his daughter. A loving, kind father. My heart skips a beat. "And I was afraid of telling you what I knew when I was alive because—because I was afraid it'll set you off." There's a long pause. "Afraid that it would have set you both off," he corrects himself. I look at Sebastian and notice most of the tension is gone from his shoulders. Dad continues, "I know that I rarely ever told you the truth, kitten. But it was for the best. And the truth is, the truth is that I'm afraid someone's been following me around. Gary has sensed it, too. God, Elizabeth," he breathed. "Even though Gary and you did something that shouldn't have happened, he's still my right hand man and you my little princess."
I can't hear it anymore. I feel like I'm falling into a dark abyss and there's no way back. But I have to force myself to look at him. Dad wipes his eyes and then clears his throat. He never cried. "Lastly—for now—I want to tell you that I love you. You're a good girl. I enjoyed every minute of being around you. Of loving you," he smiles. That was something that I kept secret. No one would ever decipher the meaning behind it. Dad regained his composure and looked directly into the camera again. "As for you Sebastian," I hear Sebastian sigh and turn. I take a closer look at him. His eyes were glassy.
God. Men. He was just like my dad—he doesn't like to show his feelings. That's why women exist, I guess.
"You get half of the company's capital, the other part of the house, that place in England that your mother and you used to live in. Remember?" As dad said that, I couldn't help but wonder what that was about. I knew Sebastian was from somewhere in England (a great far away place) because of his slight English accent. Like me, he had moved away from his homeland when he was seven.
After that, we plowed through the rest of the video. Hearing his sorry for not saying anything about us to us. But it was all so unbelievably amazing and sad that I couldn't help but just feel melancholy and broken once again. Dad was a good man. Why he had to go, I didn't know.
Sebastian clicks off the DVD and looks at me. Slowly, as though he's not sure, he wraps his arm around my shoulder tenderly. Smoothing out the hair from my face. I clutch his shirt tightly on my hands before burying my face in between his shoulder and neck. He smells so good…
"Please say you won't ever leave me," I sob. Even if I did just get to know him, I felt as though I've known him all my life. His hands drift down to my waist to hold me closer and tighter still. I gulp and lean back, gasping as his eyes meet mine in that steady gaze again.
He was so much like Dad. His perfect squared, thin white teeth bare from his thin, pale pink lips as he opens his mouth to say something. The light stubble beard around his mouth and along his jawline reminds me of dad. I gulp as I hug him to me. Not wanting to feel that way towards him. I can't feel that way towards him. I grip his hair and then tousle it, trying to laugh. It dies in my throat.
"All you need to know is that he was a good man, Sebastian." I blink back more tears before taking a seat far away from him, trying to make room so I can lay back against the sofa. "We shouldn't worry about this much. Lets just call Dad's lawyer and get this over with. He's probably wondering what happened to us."
There's a long pause where he starts to massage my shin. I know he wants to ask something. He always does this whenever he's too much of a man to ask anything. Or at least I see it that way. However much I liked it by now, it had startled me the first time he'd done it. I thought he wanted to do something else. Thank god it wasn't like that. Turns out Sebastian just wanted to talk to me about dad. Wanted to talk about his feelings towards him...
It did turn out nice, though. I won't deny that. "I can't believe he left me half of his—" I interrupted him before he could finish.
"I know. I never thought he'd leave me half of it, either." Dad had a very well-known company. It specialized in transporting cars and any sort of means of transportation along with certain other goods. I really didn't like to talk about it much anymore because of the memories. I knew that was his second biggest achievement and I was proud of it. The first one—I didn't like to talk about since that was the main reason that got him killed.
I stifle a sob. The thought of him dead....
"Were you and dad having sex?" asks Sebastian abruptly. This slices through the sad silence that had fallen over us. I sit up, choking on my own saliva (gross, I know). I look at him as I pat my own chest and he my back. What the fuck was that? I try to search his face for any sort of expression. But the only thing I find there is a blank expression. I swallow back the vile that had risen in my throat.
"What makes you say that?" I asked him. Not denying it but not admitting it, either. He eyes me. Fixing me with those jade green eyes of his. The same green eyes dad had. The same I have.
I find myself not being able to lie. So I just lay back. "Why? You want to fuck your sister?" I trace the space just near his loins with my foot. I watch his face intently and notice the slight flash of satisfaction before he instantly recoils and I laugh. A meek, mocking laugh. But still a laugh.
I start to turn away but he's suddenly on top of me. Taking my breath away with a quick movement. His hands grab my neck. Putting just enough pressure to make me gasp. "I don't play like that, Elizabeth." He growls, mad and disgusted, it seems.
"Then you shouldn't tempt me," I snap. "I'm in a really sad state and trying to answer your questions isn't exactly what I want to be doing at the moment." M hand was on his chest, trying hard to push him away. Slowly, reluctantly it seems, he let's me go. Getting off of me just as quick.
"When are you leaving to college?" he asks me unexpectedly. That was a sharp turn on the conversation.
"Ummm... In four months, actually. Why? Are you disappointed that you won't get the house to yourself until then?" I smile, showing my teeth. For the first time ever, amused. Sebastian smiles with mischief written all over his face.
The light tug on the corner of his lips tells me so. "Hah. No. I just want to finally bring my girlfriend over—"
"Would you be so kind as to bring me some orange juice?" I ask, not wanting to bring her into the topic. I look out the window as he gets up to do so. It's already late. The sun is already gone. I would have loved to have seen the sunset once again with dad. But that's impossible.
With a mental shake, I leave the thought alone and start to get up and turn when all of a sudden, I feel a cold liquid spill all over my front.
"You're such a klutz!" I exclaim in shock. Ugh. I start to take my shirt off before it sticks to my skin some more. "Here, give me YOUR shirt."
With an awkward motion, he starts to unbutton his shirt. Looking at me all the while. I didn't mind being in my bra and panties in front of him. It was like being in my a bikini in front of anyone else. Still, though, it produced a tingly feeling on my back.
He finishes unbuttoning his long sleeved, button down shirt and hands it to me. I try not to notice the way his muscles and abs flex as his hand outstretches towards me. They looked so well-toned and built, they almost looked fake. His skin was so pale... I take it and button it up over myself. He goes back into the kitchen without a word. But I could have sworn he was smiling genuinely when he turned. That wasn't very usual of him.
The door bell rings then, snapping me out of it. I quickly go and open it. Once I do so, I gasp and feel embarrass instantly.
"Ummm," she starts. It was a natural blonde. "Hi?"
Her blue eyes give me a quick glance over before coming back up to my face. I smile kindly. A small smile. "Yes? How may I help you?"
Her eyes go over my shoulder. She's staring at someone, I know. I turn and notice Sebastian behind me. Oh... OHHH. I suddenly realize just who she is. Why she was here, I did not know. I felt a little mischievous for what Sebastian had done with my clothes. So, instead of letting her in and acting all nice, I glance back at Sebastian and then at her. Acting, of course.
"Oh, you're here for Henry, my boyfriend?" I ask in a skeptical tone. Changing Sebastian's name. She seemed to have frozen. Once again, her eyes rake my whole body. Noticing Sebastian's shirt, she gasps slightly. An inaudible one.
"Jacinda," he starts. But the blonde just stares at me and him with an icy look, starts to turn away. Sebastian eyes me in disbelief before he goes after her.
Ah, love. It makes us do crazy things.
I cringe at the thought. Stupid love...
I open the door to my room, still feeling guilty over what I did. I just wasn't acting like myself at the moment. Nor did I have the energy to. I quickly undo the buttons on Sebastian's shirt and step out of it.
I start to wonder why I really had done that. But stop short when a sudden wave of fatigue hits me. I undo my bra and panties before stepping into bed. Not caring if I was a bit sticky on my mid section.
I was just about to close my eyes when my phone starts ringing. I ignore the first two calls at first. Then the third time, annoyed, I pick it up. "Hello?" I say in a harsh tone.
"Lizzie," comes that sweet, velvet voice.
I sigh. It still amazed me how much Gary calms me down just by saying my name. "Yes?" I ask, more calm.
"Can we talk?"
I give it a long thought. "Fine. But make it quick. Are you outside?" I ask him as I slip out of bed and begin to look for my robe.
"Yes. Just outside your door, in fact." I didn't need to be looking at him to know that he was smiling.
With a smile myself, I go down the stairs to open the door. Just as soon as it's open, I greet him with an unexpected hug. "You 're such an idiot for coming over at this time of night!"
"But it's 8!" he says, startled.
"I was going to sleep," I reply, yawning. "Do you want something to drink?" I ask him, feeling more polite than I'd like. He nods slightly. I direct him towards the kitchen.
"So how are you coping?" he asks me. The softness of his voice makes me soften a little.
"I'm coping, you know," I shrug as though it's not affecting me that much.
"Thanks," he accepts my apple juice—his favorite—and quickly gulps it down.
"It still amazes me how fast men drink things," I take the glass from his grasp. Our fingers touch. I look up at him. His brown eyes meet mine.
"So what did you want to talk about?"
He soon regains his composure, "Well, you know how I told you that your father was murdered?"
I can only nod.
"Well, it turns out that the person who did it was found dead just a few miles away from where your father had been murdered. There was nothing on him. He was completely naked of any belongings save for the gun." Gary starts to take something out of his coat pocket. Pictures, it seems. "I think he was deeply connected to a group of—"
"Stop," I whisper. I just can't hear it. "Stop, stop, stop!"
Gary frowns, "I thought—?"
"Just hug me you big idiot. That's all I want right now. Please," my eyes go wide and all puppy like. Gary crosses the distance between us in two long strides. The smell of Dolce & Gabbana instantly hits my nose. Such a pleasant smell. I take it in as our arms wrap around each other. I smile. At least he had been there for me.
"Thank you," I mumble. "Thank you so much." I love you, I wanted to say. But not in the way that you think...
"Shhh," he tilts my head up so I can look into his eyes. I gulp and stare into those big brown eyes. And I can't help but feel a pull that brings us even closer together. Not physically but mentally.
Gently, very softly and gently, his fingers trace the curve of my cheekbones. The contour of my lips. And the outline of my neck and shoulders. "I love you, Elizabeth," he whispers softly. Almost afraid to break whatever was making us act like this.
I smile slightly. "I've always lo—" but his lips are already kissing mine. The moist feel of his lips reminds me so much of those days. My eyes slowly close as I grab a firm hold of his hair and swiftly wrap my legs around his torso.
Right now—right now I wanted to forget about everything for just a moment. Even if it wasn't that long. I start to get that as his lips insist on mine. My hands lazily drift down to his trousers. To rub the lump that was forming there.
"Someone's getting hot," I whisper while getting on my feet. I take a step back and turn slightly. But the passion inside of him doesn't let me. He turns me back around and almost instantly makes me wrap my legs around his torso.
"No, Robert, we shouldn't..." he bites my upper lip and keeps grinding himself against me. Oblivious to my talking it seems. "No, Robert, we..." his lips meet mine. I feel a bit dazed as his lips keep seeking mine in a passionate kiss.
"I can't stop, Lizzie...," he whispers before drifting back to kissing me. And I let myself feel all of him. Enjoy all of him. I bite his neck softly, knowing it will set him off. With a growl coming from deep within him, Robert manages to get out his stiffening cock. I feel my back touch the kitchen wall so abruptly, that it begins to hurt. It subsides as time progresses.
"I've missed this so much, Lizzie. You're so much better than Serena," he whispers into my ear. His cock presses against me before slipping inside of me. I wrap my arms around his shoulder and start to seek his lips as often as I can. His hands desperately grasp my breast as his cock keeps sliding deeper into me. My back arches in pure pleasure.
As he strokes become faster and harder, I give small gasps of pleasure. The girth of his cock has always surprised me. And pleased me in every way. He certainly knew how to use his weapons. And I loved that. God did I love it!
I bite his earlobe softly and press myself down against him before whispering what's in my head. "Just fuck me, Rob, please! Fuck me! ...oh... Yeah! ... Harder... Harder! Oh! Fuck!" His hips start to convulse out of their own will as his grunts become more and more bliss-filled. The strokes of his penis are so swift and soothing... Oh, fuck...
I sigh and gasp. My hands tangling in his hair. Trying to get something to hang on to. So good. So good...
"You like it like that? Mmm!?" he gropes my breast harder this time, increasing his hard strokes. His thrusts become painstakingly unbearable. But god does it feel good. My pussy keeps milking his thick, long cock in sudden spasm of heat of ecstasy. Wanting to feel more pleasure. More bliss.
"More! Please more..." I keep firmly grinding my pussy against his cock in a rhythmic motion. Giving him as much pleasure as I can.
"I love it! Harder! Harder! Yes! Yes!" just then I feel that glorious wave of tingle and heat spread all over my body urgently. Wanting a way of release. My mouth opens in unbearable pleasure as my fingers bend at the middle and I am driven by pleasure to drag my nails down on his neck.
His balls keep slapping against my ass. Making me gasp and move down against him more eagerly. "Yeah... Just like that...," I moan. Then I feel the way his cock goes stiff and the way he growls like an animal in heat. His body gives little jerks and I remember all too well those tell-tale signs telling me that he's close.
"Elizabeth!" he hisses, his knees weakening. Our bodies keep colliding against one another. Keeping me on the verge of cumming all the while. Not that I haven't had my few releases yet. Because I pleasurably have. "Elizabeth... I'm gonna—"
"Just cum inside of me!" I interrupt him. It wasn't that easy talking to him with all that was going on. My eyes close.
"Here.... It... Goes!" and then there's a big, sudden thrust from his part. He stays still and slowly drifts down to the floor with me still latched to him. I feel his sperm shoot inside of me. Spurt after spurt of sperm hitting the back of my cervix. It's quite revitalizing. It's weakening him. Weakening me as well. His body close to mine is what I wanted tonight. And that's what I got.
As the feeling of intense pleasure subsides from me, I stay with Robert's semi-hard cock still rooted inside of me to the hilt. Our ragged breathing mingle together. I look at him. He looks at me. And then we're both laughing slightly. I hug him close to me and look over my shoulder over the dark kitchen. Just then I see a shadow pass over the light the window's letting through from the living room. I gulp.
As quick as a lightning bolt, I am off of Robert and making my way across the kitchen and into the living room. "Sebastian?" I call out, nervous.
No answer. It was probably just my imagination. I feel a warm, thick liquid trail down my inner thighs. Looking down, I realize just what it is. Robert comes from behind me. His arms wrap softly around me from behind before he pulls me in close to him. His hand goes down to cup my cunt and then lower to scoop off his sperm before bringing it up to my mouth. I lick it off his middle finger. Closing my eyes in the process. I missed the taste of his sweet sperm. HIS exactly.
"Thank you for tonight," he whispers into my ear. And then he's gone. I hear the door shut off after he leaves.
Well, I think, I guess that he didn't really want to forget me after all.
"Had fun?" asks that familiar, arrogant, yet somehow pleasant, voice of Sebastian's. I whirl around just to see him standing by the stairs. Leaning against the wall with his shoulder. I slowly make my way up to him. I stand just a step below him.
"Sebastian, I'm sorry about earlier. I just... I don't know."
"Don't worry about it. I was just talking about…" he trails off. He obviously already knows that I know what he's talking about. "Well, you know," he shrugs and comes to stand right in front of me.
"I'm sorry, Sebastian. You shouldn't have seen that."
"Seen that Gary and you are cheating on Serena?" his eyebrow raises. Oh, god. This is awkward.
I can only nod and look away from him. Guilty pleasure. I sigh at this. "I don't get it, Elizabeth."
I look at him as I frown. He continues, "why did you call him Robert? I thought his name was Gary?" I gulp. I hate to admit it but I couldn't really lie to him.
"I called him Robert because that's what I used to call him when he was…" I trail off. Just then, I ask myself what am I doing. I look at him with wondering eyes. Trying to come up with a well-put answer. I give myself a mental shake. "I'm used to calling him that, that's all."
He keeps eyeing me as though he doesn't believe me at all. A sudden wave of fatigue hits me again. "I'm going to sleep. Night," I turn and leave to go into my room. As I pass my dad's room, I feel a shiver go down my spine. I hadn't gone in there since... Since IT happened. I felt somehow scared of it.
Sebastian might be my brother but I still wasn't ready to share my story with him. It just wasn't that simple. I had thought that door had been closed for good but tonight Robert—Er, GARY—showed me that it wasn't. He showed me it with the passion that he still felt for me. That we both felt for each other.
And then there's another door that opened again. And that's Jared's. While he may not have woken up old feelings the way Robert did—he woke up special things.
After thinking about all these things, I don't feel like going to sleep anymore. Quite the opposite, really. I feel like I need someone to hold me tight. To pull me in close and tell me that everything will be OK.
After a few minutes of crying silently, I decide to go into my dad's bedroom. Maybe that will serve as a comfort. I know I sound a bit pathetic and stupid. But when you lose someone really important in your life, you really have no enthusiasm to do anything. Well... To do certain things...
Stepping into his room had been a bit hard. It still felt as though he was still there. Like he never really left. Everything is made up except for the bed. It's crumpled and the sheets are all messed up. I decide that sleeping in his bed will serve as a comfort. Though why they'd be unmade, I've no idea.
I try to get my mind off of Sebastian though I can't seem to do that. As I slip out of my robe and I'm left naked and freezing, I start to picture his face. The steady, calculating gaze he's always given me. And then there's his body... The way his muscles flex every single time he moves or stretches. It's wrong to be thinking about him this way but I do have to admit, he's handsome. His parents made a g—I stop myself abruptly.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm so stupid...
Giving myself once again a mental shake, I quickly slip into bed. It feels oddly warm and comfortable. I move closer to the middle and grip the sheets tight as my eyes close. Slowly, I roll over.
And my eyes shoot open as I encounter a warm body there. I start to scream in terror. God. The tousled bed hair reminded me so much of dad's. "What the fuck, Sebastian!?" I exclaim. Startled, he quickly slips out of bed, his hands covering his crotch. Ah, he likes sleeping naked too. We both inherited something from dad's other than the obvious. "What the fuck are you doing here!?" and how did I not notice him there? It wasn't that dark...
"I'm sleeping!" he retorts. "What else would I be doing here?"
"There are around ten other rooms in the house and you choose THIS ONE!?" I get out of bed and come close to him. "This is dad's bedroom! You have no right of being here!"
My cheeks feel hot as I keep yelling at him. "And you're naked! Have you no shame at all!?"
"Me!? What about you!?" he mutters loud.
"I've been naked many times here before!" I retort without thinking of the words that had scrambled out of my lips.
Fuck. "I mean in the house. I've been naked many times in the house..." now I know I'm blushing because I'm embarrassed. "Fuck you, Sebastian! Get out!" I sit on the bed and wrap my arms around my knees as I bring them in. I let my head rest on my knees so I don't have to look at him.
"No. You get out," he quickly replies, apparently ignoring my last answer.
"You're 24. You should do whatever I tell you because I'm younger than you... And I'm a girl." I whine. I hated how petulant my voice sounded.
"If you were innocent enough, I would. But since you've slept in this room so much with our father—which is a bit gross, might I add—you should leave. And let me sleep. I need to wake up early tomorro—"
"Shut up!" my head snaps up. "What is wrong with you? Have you no respect for my da—" I gasp as his hand comes around my throat again and he so abruptly makes my back lay against the pillows. "What are yo—" I don't finish. His gaze on mine is sharp and stops me from saying anything. And so does the pressure around my neck. I gasp a little. He's making it hard for me to breathe. And so is his body right on top of mine.
"Sebastian, you're hu—"
"I know," he replies. His tone is menacing somehow. Though I don't know why. I keep trying to push him off of me. My legs accidentally spread out and he falls right on top of me. I notice then the way his expression changes. The way his features soften. Just the way dad's did whenever he looked at me. When we were making love...
I feel then just how much he's ‘growing’. I feel his cock grow and press up against me. "Sebastian, no... Don't—"
"I saw you fucking him..." the wild yet helpless expression on his face reminds me of that first time with dad. How it all happened... "And then I felt something turn on inside of me." He licks his lips.
"Don't make me kick you, Sebastian, ple—" he interrupts me again.
"I realized I was jealous. Do you know how stupid that is? For a brother to feel that way towards his sister? Is horrible. It's wrong," he starts to absentmindedly rub his cock against my cunt. "You're wet," he comments. A shiver goes down my spine just then. My nipples start to get erect and push up against his skin. I know he feels it because he starts to kiss my cheek. His lips softly press against my skin. In spite of the situation, I can feel myself getting aroused just by the very touch of his skin against mine. I feel his muscles clench as he keeps grinding against me. Slowly at first. But then he moves faster and faster. Stimulating my clit. Sending chills and smalls shivers all over my body. I can feel myself getting more wet by the second.
"No, Sebastian, please..." I whisper. My back arches slightly as the pleasure increases.
"Why would I? Do you want me to tell Serena what happened?" he grunts into my ear. The hand on my throat tightens. Making it even harder for me to breathe as the pleasure increases.
"No! Please, don't!"
"Then you should do everything I tell you to, little sis," he smirks at this. His grinding increases by heaps and suddenly he starts to grope my breast with his free hand. "I love your tits," he growls into my ear. His hot breath makes the hair all over my body stand up to attention—goosebumps. I feel cold all over. How many times had Dad and Robert said that? Not to mention two past boyfriends...
"You're disgusting!" I gasp and try to crawl away from him. But he won't let me. His firm hold on my neck keeps me still and so is the way his grinding starts to slow down. In some way this heats me up.
"Wrap your legs around me, babe." I can just stare at him in disbelief as he says that. How can he ask me that?
"DO IT," his grip on my neck tightens when he sees that I won't move. I gasp and instantly do so. My eyes going a bit wide as I struggle for air. After a few seconds, I feel his grip loosen up completely. His lips replace his hands, making me tilt my head back at the sudden softness and moisture against my skin there. His lips move over on my throat. Involuntarily, my hips move in little circles over his cock. Moisturizing him this way.
"You disgust me," I mumble, repeating myself. "How can you do this?" A light tear trails down my cheek. "I trusted you," i choke. he seems to go stiff all over then. He suddenly gets off of me as though he'd been just shaken off a bad dream.
"Elizabeth," he frowns as he looks at me. I sit up, gently rubbing the spot where his hand had been on my throat. "I'm so sorry," he says it genuinely. I can just shake my head and glance down at his cock. Is no longer hard.
I gulp and close my eyes. It's so much like Dad's. Jeeeeesus.
That's the only reason I decide to let this go. With a frown of resentment on my face, I look up at him and say "just get out, Sebastian. Please.. Just get out." I gulp back a sob. I won't cry over this. Even if he did betray the trust that had been built between us.... A bit.
"Please don't say anything. Just..." I look at him with the frown still pasted on my face. Instead of telling him to leave again, I shake my head and slip out of bed and then into my robe as quick as I can.
"I can't be here for now. Talk to you later...," I rush out of the room and then a few seconds later into my bedroom. I lock the door behind me.
The next day when I slipped out of bed, I had decided to leave the whole Sebastian thing behind. To try and forget about it. So when I went downstairs and took a seat to eat breakfast, I was startled to find his seat empty.
Just then Flor comes in carrying a small plate of fruits. "Flor, do you know where Sebastian is?"
Her black eyes narrow, thinking. After a few seconds she shrugs gently, "No, Miss Turner. I've not since him since yesterday. Why? Do you need him?"
"Flor, I told you to call me Elizabeth. Please," I touch her arm reassuringly. I sure was going to miss her once I moved away and sold the house.
She sighs softly. "Okay, Miss Turner."
I sigh in exasperation and put my face in my hands. "Flor!" I groan and start to giggle.
Just then, Sebastian comes down. He wears only his boxers. "Good morning, Flor. Elizabeth," he awkwardly nods toward me.
"Flor, can you give us a minute alone, please? Did you give the guards some breakfast already?"
"No, Miss Turner. I'll bring them some right now," she smiles at me and then says her good morning to Sebastian.
"Flor," I say with a warning. She was supposed to be calling me Elizabeth.
"Yes, Miss Elizabeth."
Old habits die hard. She excuses herself before leaving for the kitchen. I wait a few minutes before I hear the door close. It's a long way to the gate so I take advantage of the time being.
"Sebastian," my face is hiding whatever expression I'm feeling at the moment.
"Look, Elizabeth, I was extremely pissed off at you last night. I wanted to make you pay somehow. Jacinda broke up with me. And it was be—"
"I just wanted to say it was OK. That it was partly my fault for antagonizing you." I'm not sure that's the exact word I would have chosen. But oh well. "I should have kept my mouth shut. And I'm very sorry for ever saying anything bad about you."
"You never did," he retorts. "So," he starts, getting up from his seat and seating on the one closest to me. He smiles slightly. That arrogant, care-free look coming back to his face. "Does that mean I'm forgiven?" he asks me, his tone a barely audible whisper.
"You're forgiven," I smile slightly and push the plate filled with fruit towards him. "Just never do it again. As for the whole Robert incident... Well.. It won't happen again." I say. I take a sip of my coffee.
Lies. It will happen until I can't get enough of him. Which will probably be never. I still missed him. "You're lying," he notes. I put my coffee away once I'm done with it.
I shrug. "It's not my fault he's still in love with me."
I look besides me at him. Noticing the way his features were suddenly set. I tousle his hair. It always soothes me somehow. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You don't even know why that happened between us in the first place."
I slap myself mentally. It always amazes me how calm I feel around him. How much I'm willing to share. As though I've known him my whole life. As though he knows my whole story and I don't need to tell him anything because he already knows.
"How did you and Gary meet? What happened between the both of you?"
I gulp at that. "I'm not sure I can tell you."
"Try," when he sees that I'm not trying, he sighs. "You can trust me. I know that you probably don't because of last night. But, trust me when I say that you can trust me." The genuine smile playing on his lips tells me that I can indeed.
"Fine," I frown. "It's just... Not easy. Robert and I go way back." I pause to look at him and tuck my knees under my dad's flannel shirt as I bring them in. I loved this shirt. I take a deep breath before I keep going. "It all started when I met him through my mother. They were supposed to get marry soon. But then things eventually begun to take a sharp turn when I was..."
"When you were what?"
I get the words out, telling myself that it's no longer hurting me. "When I was raped." I say, swallowing. "By my boyfriend then." I scoff. "I thought he was amazing. The best person ever but even those sorts of people turn out to be awful." My tone turns icy. "I hate him."
Sebastian sighs. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"You didn't do that."
"Though I was about to."
I look at him with a beat expression. "Sebastian—"
"I'm sorry. It's just that—you wake something up in people."
"You think you don't?"
He looks at me. His jaw is set for some reason. I keep going, "you're my brother and I don't want to ruin that. You're all the family I have left and truly, I don't want us to fight over something stupid."
He frowns slightly, his eyes boring onto my face. He smiles slightly and nods, taking my hand and squeezing it reassuringly. A sign for me to keep going. "So that night when I was raped, he took me home. My mother was waiting up—I don't want to talk about her, though." I start to look at him then. It's best to tell it straight to his face. "That same night I kissed him. I know that we were doing something bad. Horrid before everyone else's eyes, probably. But I—I really liked him." I start to stare at the fruits in front of him. "I remember every detail of that night. Of having su—" I stop myself then. My cheeks go pink. "Anyway, before we could get to do anything else, mother found us. I didn't see him for a few weeks after that." I keep on telling him what happened. I tell him just how far we went. Of that night at the empty road (just told him that we had sex) and then of the accident. How I had woken up just to find mother and Robert holding hands and looking at each other with dreamy eyes. "I remember how badly I treated him after that. Well... As my real dad, actually." I smile ruefully at that. "He was an amazing liar. Made me believe that he actually cared about my mother. In a way he did, but..." I shrug. "He was only with her because it was part of his fake persona." I keep telling him what happened after that. Of how we still somehow managed to always go back to each other. I also tell him about Gary's brother, Allan. The one with the soft, hazelnut colored hair. I sigh. "I only did it—partly—to piss Robert off. Well.. That ended up in sex anyway. That was our last time. He told me how much he loved me.. I did the same."
I gulp. The expression on his face wasn't exactly reassuring. He shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "So let me get this straight, Robert is Gary? He was only pretending to be someone else while dad was away?" A small smile starts to play on his lips. I slap his shoulder. "Sounds like a good action yet sappy movie." he laughs. Not at me, exactly.
I punch his chest. Hard. "You're an idiot!" I start to stand but he stops me.
"I'm just kidding!" his laughter dies. But there's the ghost of a smile on his lips. "It's just hard picturing you with someone who's not in the same age range as you," he brushes back a lock of hair that had fallen over my eyes. "You're so beautiful. You'd think that by now you would at least have a boyfriend or someone who loved you." He caresses my cheek.
"I used to...," I whisper. More to myself than to him.
"Who was it?" He is curious.
I can just look at him and slowly blink. His hand travels down from my cheek, neck, and down to my shoulder before it falls on his lap.
"Dad. He took care of me. Made me feel safe," I rest my chin in between my knees. My hands are tightly wrapped around them. I glance at him. "I'm just sad that I never really got to say goodbye." There's a long silence. I take it to contemplate on my thoughts. I take a deep breath and look ahead. Out the window.
"Let's go out tonight," says Sebastian all of a sudden. "Just you and me."
"I don't think I can," I say. "It's not easy to. I just don't feel like going out anymore." I add the last sentence. I didn't want to upset him or anything.
"Come on, let's go out. I know a great place downtown."
"No. Let's stay in instead and invite a few people over."
"Who do YOU know?" he smirks.
"Oh, you think I have no friends now?"
"I don't think that at all," he bares his teeth in that arrogant smile of his. "You never go out, though. So that really gets me thinking."
I narrow my eyes on him. "Gets you thinking on what?"
"On how amazingly self-preserved you are," his eyes fix on my fingers for some reason.
I laugh. His eyes set back on my face. "You should have met the Elizabeth of two years ago. I was incredibly wild."
"You were incredibly wild, huh?"
"No, I was joking." I smile sweetly at him. "I am self-preserved... In a way. I don't talk to people who I don't know. It might make me seem stuck up and everything but you know," I shrug. "What about you, though?"
"What about me?"
"How would you describe yourself in one word?"
"One word," I echo, smile still plastered on my face.
"Well, if you must know—"
"I must," I interrupt.
He keeps going, "I'd describe myself as exceedingly handsome."
My eyelids droop halfway in annoyance. "I'd like to describe you as conceited."
"Conceited!?" he asks in mock hurt. "I'm not conceited. I'm a very nice, attractive young man." He shrugs and leans back against his seat. "What? You don't think I am?" I knew he was just trying to make me laugh, which was working, but I knew there was also some truth behind those little jokes. He did believe he was handsome. Heck, why shouldn't she? She has those sharp, mysterious features. And those hazelnut shaped, jade green eyes that he inherited from my father. OUR father. He could stop traffic just by flashing that arrogant smile of his.
"I would describe you as..." I tap my index finger to my lips. Trying to seem as though I'm really thinking about it.
"Seriously? You're gonna do this now?"
"Fine... You're very handsome and bright. Plus your voice is amazing!" I chirp. He chuckles softly.
"You always know what to say, don't you?"
"No... Father always said I ruined everything. He was right," I flinch at the truth behind it. Did I just—?
He stays quiet.
"Point exactly...," I sigh and then start to get up. "I need to go take a shower so I can relax. I'm going to the pool later. Jared's coming over soon. Would you open the door if I don't?"
"I think Flor can do that."
"Sebastian," I say, a warning note in my tone.
"Give her the rest of the day off. She already does enough."
He sighs, looking at me with hooded eyes. I can only smile slightly, unsure of what to do.
"Fine, fine! I'll do it!"
"And just like everyone I know, you can't say no to me." I smile with mischief before going upstairs to take a warm shower.
Gary… god.. Gary. Last night was amazing. I loved it. And I'd be willing to do it again just to have him close to me.
As time goes by, Sebastian and I seem to grow closer and closer together. We consult each other on whatever decisions there needs to be made over the house or the company. Although I'm not very skilled at it. That's why I made Sebastian take care of it. He knew better since that was his specialty. I needed to learn it. So I was to specialize in that on an university near Gilmore so I could be close to the company AND the apartment dad had left the both of us.
For the time being—while I got my response from the schools I've applied to—I spent more time with Jared and Karla (my two best friends.) I sometimes feel like they like each other and/or are going out and won't tell me anything about it. They're always going off together or whispering to each other. Their talk always dies down whenever I return to them.
"Fuck guys!" I say on one of 'those' days. "You keep hiding your little relationship from me! Like what the fuck? You're supposed to be my best friends!"
They both looked startled. Jared is the first one to speak. "What?" he looks at Karla curiously. As though analyzing her. "You think we're—?"
"Yes!" says Karla, giving Jared a look. I feel relieved. "We're totally going out. We didn't want you to find out... Because we weren't sure it was going to work out. Did we, honey buns?"
I stare at her and start to laugh. Oh, poor Jared.
"I don't get why you didn't tell me before," I shrug and keep on eating my ice cream cone. Jared, Karla, Sebastian and I were on the park. Right now Sebastian and Karla were getting their ice creams. Enjoying the sunny day for now. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. She's very pretty and nice." I shrug again as though it's no big deal. "I mean, if you were conspiring against me, that'll be another thing. But, ya' know, it's not. You actually make a cute couple. Think that if you get married, your child—"
"I love you!" he bursts out all of a sudden. I start to choke on my ice cream from shock.
"You have to be fucking with me," I exclaim. "You're with Karla, you old piece of—"
"I'm not," he says calmly, rubbing my back and patting it as I regain my composure. I shake his hand away and look at him in wonder. "She just said that so you wouldn't find out."
"Find out about what?"
That sets me on edge and makes me want to slap him. "I thought you were my best friend. And best friends tell each other everything—right?" I raise an eyebrow at him.
"Right… but not this. I'm sorry," he sighs. "You'll find out eventually."
"Jared, what is it? You know I hate it when people keep secrets from me, Jared."
"Don't call me that."
"I won't talk to you unless you tell me what it is? You either tell me or not."
"What happens if I don't?"
My eyes narrow up on him. "You know very well what will happen."
"Elizabeth, please. It's not my secret to tell. It's—"
"Fine, then I'll ask her," I turn just in time to see Karla and Sebastian walking up to us. Chatting and laughing. I go up to Karla, somehow my stomach tightening at the way I see them flirting. "Karla, do you have a second?"
Her soft black curls bounce as she turns to look at me. Then, seeing my expression, she glances at Jared with an accusing stare. "You told her?!" she exclaims, her light brown cheeks going pink in anger. Sebastian just looks confused.
"What? No—!" he's cut right off.
"What it's going on between you two?" Karla glances involuntarily at Sebastian. He keeps his expression cool. As though nothing's going on. But there's a spark of something in it. It quickly disappears. Just as quick as it happened, Karla's eyes come back to me.
"Well, this was fun, we sh—" I stop Sebastian by raising my palm up. He closes his mouth immediately, noticing my expression.
"Karla, WHAT'S GOING ON?" I ask, excited to hear the answer.
"Elizabeth," Sebastian starts again, "Nothing's going on." His green eyes bore on my face. Trying to calm me down.
"No. I know all of you are hiding something from me. Specially you Sebastian since you seem so inclined on not telling me anything." I snap at him.
"Elizabeth," he says. I can tell he's getting mad, anxious for this to be over. "Let it go. This is none of your business."
"Yes, it is! She's supposed to be my friend, Sebastian! Aren't you, Karla?" I turn to look at her. Her small, slender body jumps as I direct my attention to her.
"Yes, Elizabeth, but—"
"But what? Don't you trust me?"
"I do, but.... Lizzie, I can't tell you."
"WHY NOT!?" curiosity was eating me away. And disappointment in my friends. Why they weren't telling me anything, I've no idea.
"Elizabeth," says Sebastian. I can tell he's mad this time. "Let it fucking go!"
"No!" my cheeks start to get hot.
"I'm sorry, Jared, Karla," he gives her an apologetic look. "I'll tell her, don't worry."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, now if you excuse us," Sebastian grasps my arm in a brusque manner.
"Sebastian, you're hurting me—"
"Shut up," his tone is so harsh, that I do so. The ride back home is quiet. Not a single word was said.
Once Sebastian's car is parked, I quickly scramble out and meet him at the front. He grabs my arm again. Still mad, I see. He opens the door and then pushes me in. The door slams shut behind him as we make our way out of the foyer. "Just what the fuck is wrong with you?" he snaps. His cheeks are reddening just the way Dad's did whenever he got mad. But the cool, leveled look on his face never left him. Even when he yelled at me.
"Nothing, I just wanted to—"
"To what, Elizabeth!?"
"I was just worried and curious. I thou—"
"You only think of yourself!" he snaps again. "You STUPID, STUPID GIRL!" He got all over my face and I had to recoil.
"I'm sorry," I croak but it was too late. He had completely lost it.
"When are you going to learn that not everything revolves around you!? Not everyone is inclined to do your bidding!"
"Sebastian, I—" here it goes again. My heart begins to beat faster as everything begins to slow down. It feels as though it's going to jump right out of my mouth with every loud, strong beat it gives.
"You're such a self-centered, conceited BITCH," he sounded like he meant it. Yet his controlled expression never left his face. It hurt me the way he said it. But I fought back the strong emotions. I wasn't gonna cry in front of him. Although I was shocked.
"You wanna know so bad what we're hiding, FINE, I'll tell you." But I no longer wanted to know. I just wanted to get out so he wouldn't be angry with me.
"I don't want to know. I—"
"We were planning a birthday dinner for you," he breathes out. As though the words tired him. "Or have you forgotten about your birthday?"
"I..." I start but I don't finish. A birthday dinner?
"I no longer know why we did it in the first place. Do you ever give anyone a break or some space, even?"
I look down at his shoes. This surely couldn't be it. I felt stupid and like such an idiot. "Sebastian, I am so sorry... I..." but I don't finish. He was right. I am self-centered. I only ever care about myself.
I hadn't realized that until now. And yet I had such amazing people surrounding me. "I..." I walk past. The look on my face, I was sure, showed exactly how I felt inside.
He tries to grab my hand but I only just yank it free, "Elizabeth, wait. I didn't—"
"No, you're totally right. Even Dad was right when he said I ruined everything. I'm nothing but disaster," I don't look at him when I say it. It just hurts too much to do it. Instead, I take a deep breath and keep holding back the strong emotions that kept tempting to get out. "I… I shouldn't even be here right now."
"No, Elizabeth, wait—"
"I think I'm better off left alone. You're all better off without me," I quickly turn around and make my way up the stairs.
"Elizabeth, no! Please!" but I wasn't listening to him. I placed a hand over my mouth and then made a straight beeline into my room. I lock it behind me and then get started on everything. Only valuables, I keep reminding myself. Only valuables...
"Let me go, Sebastian," I whisper. "Please just let me go..."
When I had packed up my bag and decided to leave the house, I had hoped to leave early in the morning. Sadly, though, Sebastian was up at 6 am. So it hadn't been the best of ideas. I should have known better.
"Why are you leaving?" there was a brief moment where his expression fell. In that brief moment I saw that he cared about me. I didn't feel at all like saying anything. My mind was buzzing with unknown sources of sad, melancholy emotions. So I didn't really know what to tell him.
So, the only thing I said was, "I have to." I looked at him. His eyes. The way his long eyelashes casts shadows on his sharp, chiseled cheekbones. "I know we have known each other for only two months—I can't recall. And during that time I've enjoyed your presence. But I can't…" I trail off. Letting him fill in the blank.
"You can't be here?" he finishes for me.
I nod. "You're right about what you said about me." He flinched slightly at that. "I am a bitch. A conceited one, too." I smile. It doesn't reach my eyes. "I'm every bad thing. And I do focus on myself too much. On what I want. Not so much on what everyone else wants. I'm a bad person." I shrug. I wasn't seeking comfort from him. I just wanted out. "I want to go, Sebastian. I love you. I love all of you. But I have to go."
"And do what?" he asks.
"Do what I can with my life. Just leave everything behind. Leave THIS life behind. I just can't keep on going like this and you know it. It's for the best," I don't meet his gaze, afraid it'll just make me feel guilty about everything.
"What about what I want?" he breathes out. "What about what YOU want. You can't just leave me—I mean us behind, Elizabeth. Don't go," he had taken my hand. And it had suddenly felt like he was holding me.
"I only hurt and you know that."
"No I don't... When I said what I said yesterday, I never thought of you that way, Elizabeth. I was just mad. Mad at you for trying to get into other people's life. But I hadn't realized that was the way you care and look out for them. I'm so sorry," he apologizes. He had taken my cheeks into his hand so I wouldn't look away from his heavy, green gaze. His hands against my skin felt like petals against my skin. "Please don't go...," he asks of me.
"I can't—" he interrupts me again.
"Don't go," his eyes were a bit wide, alarmed. I notice the way his tongue passes over the crescent shape of his upper lip and the slight dent on his bottom lip. I sniff. Why was I noticing this? It feels... wrong.
"Let me go, Sebastian," I try pushing him away. But he wouldn't budge. He shakes his head. And I'm afraid all of a sudden. Afraid of where this might lead to. We were too close. Brother and sister weren't supposed to be this close. Yet I felt strangely attracted to it. Like a piece of metal to a magnet. It came naturally.
"Sebastian," I whisper, grasping his shirt this time instead of pushing him away. "I can't…" I wasn't sure to what I was referring to. If it was to me staying, to me being able to kiss him the way I knew he wanted me to, or to being this close in the first place.
He comes closer and closer until my hands are pressed up between the both of us. I gasp slightly, as though caught off guard, at the way his skin suddenly starts to feel hot. I was—for reasons I couldn't speak of—shivering which made it almost hard for me to speak.
"You're shivering," he notices. I nod and stay still. He laces one of his hands through mine before pressing it against his cheek. It was startling warm. Perhaps it was because of the way his cheeks were flushed with a pleasant scarlet. His eyes close as though he's letting himself wonder on about the way my skin feels. I frown. When had this turned into a scene of longing?
"Elizabeth," he says, his voice thick and soft with desire. I leaned toward him, swaying slightly and feeling suddenly dizzy. My whole body ached; I ached with longing. Wanting to touch him the way he wanted me to. I wanted to feel just what it was like to have him next to me. Not caring about the fact that he was indeed my half brother.
"Elizabeth," he says again in that same tone he used earlier. I was more aware of him now than ever before; of the way his eyelids drooped ever so slightly over his jade green eyes, of the shadow of light stubble across his jaw, of every single sharp feature that was set on his attractive face.
"What do you want from me, Sebastian?" I whispered, afraid to ruin the perfect silence that had fallen all around us. I gripped his thin, white shirt harder, noticing for the first time that it was wet. I could see the contour of his muscles beneath and I wanted to feel them. To feel his arms, corded with muscle, just to see if they were as hard as they looked.
"I want you out of my head. I want to not look at you the way I would a lover. But you're there, Elizabeth... You're always there."
At that very moment I felt a shudder go down my spine. He squeezed my hand gently; he brought his lips hotly against mine. His free hand tangled in my hair, pulling my head closer to his just when my arms wrapped lightly around his neck. He pulled me in close hard against him. I let my hands trouble over his shoulders, feeling the hard and smooth muscles there.
The hot kiss only lasted a few seconds before I practically ripped my fingers out of his hair and abruptly pushed him away. He looked startled; his chest was hitching up and down as if he had ran a marathon. He tried to come in again but I wouldn't let him. I couldn't let him. It wasn't supposed to happen. I couldn't commit the same mistake twice.
"No, Sebastian," I press my palms against his chest once again. Feeling the way his heart beats fast and hard against it. He's excited. "You're my brother," I say, frowning as if his closeness is too much for me to take.
"You want to as much as I do," he seeks my lips again but I just pull back.
"No," I say more firmly. Though my expression betrays me. His hands grasp my waist and pull me close to him. His eyes are wide and filled with longing again. Longing and desire.
"You want to," he whispers persuasively. "You know you want to," once again his lips try to press against mine. I stop him by tilting my head back.
"You're my brother," I moan. His hands had gone down to my legs. Touching them. His touch is enticing, nice, comforting, sexy... "Sebastian," I moan again. Just then one of my legs wraps around his torso. He chuckles slightly before pressing his mouth against mine and holding on to the leg wrapped around him and the small of my back as though his life depends on it.
His teeth snatch my upper lip and bite it. His tongue constantly licking my lower one as we keep kissing. He quickly makes me walk back toward the stairs, undoing the buttons on my tight button down. "Mmmm," I moan. Tracing his muscles. Every bit of skin that's visible.
"You've been outside," I say all of a sudden. Stopping on his hair.
"Yes?" he seemed to have tensed.
"You're wet…" just then I notice the dark circles around his eyes. And then smell of sweat mixed with... the smell of rain and something else...
I pretend to be about to kiss his neck, which I do so I can inspect it better, when I run into a hickey.
I quickly push him away.
"What did I do now?" he asks exasperated.
"It's funny how you smell of Reb'l Fleur. A fragrance that I know belongs to Karla."
For a moment he looks startled. I stand up and go up to my suitcase. "Elizabeth, I can expla—"
"Explain what? You know what? You're no better than any other guy out there. I bet you the whole party for me bullshit was just an excuse." I had said the last part out of pure resentment, not really knowing whether it was true or not. But the guilty look on his face tells me I'm right.
"I'm sorry?" he asks in a nervous/guilty tone.
My jaw drops. So he lied? What the? And Jared KNEW and didn't tell me?
"Unfucking believable! You lied?" I shriek. "You're going out with one of my best friends. How dare you?" I narrow my eyes on him. I wanted to slap him so bad but I was afraid that I might somehow mess up everything with Sebastian. So instead of going all berserk, I calmed down and took deep, even breaths.
Unfortunately for me, someone was knocking on the door. Urgently. "Ugh. Who could it be this early in the morning?" I ask, my cheeks puffing up. I sigh and go up to the door.
Just as soon as I open it, I gasp. Robert walks in casually. As though he owns the place. He eyes the purple suitcase before turning to me, gives me a sweet smile, and then back to Sebastian. I watch as he carefully strolls over to his side.
"What is it that you need to talk about?" asks Robert, his tone curious.
I stand confused as Sebastian replies, "I've always wondered what it would be like to be with someone else in bed…" he starts to mumble. I decide to ignore the rest. What he says at the end, however, surprises me to the cord. "And since I know about Elizabeth and you," starts Sebastian once again after a long pause in which our Robert's expression and mine had changed. "Well... What I'm trying to say is—how do you feel about a threesome?"
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