This is one memory that really bothered me, for a long time. Not because of what happened but what my mind thought about it, while it was happening. If there was someway for me to go back and change it, I would.

Before I even start it, I would like to apologize to the Old Man Bartender [ who's probably dead now ] but I do owe him an apology, not for telling it but for my opinion of him, while it was happening.

Sometimes when everything else is gone, your memories are all your left with, so good or bad hold onto them. And here it is........

I was drinking and more or less drunk, in a bar down on 6th street, down in downtown LA. Not the nicest place to be drinking and to be honest I don't even know why I was in there. Unless it was my taking a break, from looking for what I came down to LA. for in the middle of the night.

Cock, black cock, yes I was one of those white boys, that got hung-up on it. And how their boner felt moving back and forth in me, until it squirted. No, I'm not gay, I'm not even bi. I'm just a boy that was introduced to it, when I was little and couldn't turn the page of time, back on it. I honestly don't know if I would have, I I could. I don't think so.

It's funny how I love to eat pussy but have never liked to fuck. That's probably because I squirt right away [ always have ] an my boner is less than 4 inches [ fully hard ] and not to many girls want it, I don't have to wonder why.

I was also introduced to anal sex by our boy dog, when I was in the 7th grade but I wrote about that before, so I won't bore you with it again.

Anyway, when the 2 old [ 55-65 ] blackmen, held me down on the dirty bathroom floor, when I was 17 going on 12 years old sexually and pushed their black dicks up into me, they started an " ITCH " an itch that only a dick can scratch, a black dick, way up inside of my warm rectum.

I could say that they raped me and really they did but before the 2nd one was through with me, my white ass was responding to his black dick, like a common street whore. 24 hours later, my search began. I had liked how it felt up inside of me so much, that I was looking for more of it, the very next night. Believe it or not. It was on one of these nights that I was craving it again, that I ended up in the 6th street bar.

I can't remember who or how many people were there, all I remember is that the old white bartender kept giving me free beer and I kept drinking it, until the bar closed. And that's when it happened.

The old bartender told me that he needed a ride home because something was the matter with his car and since he had given me free beers, I said sure. I still can't believe how naive I was as to what was about to happen.

He didn't live far and when we got there he asked if I'd like another drink and since is was after 2 am, I said, sure and went inside with him. Still not understanding what was going on.

He gave me something to drink and also showed me a deck of dirty cards. I have no problem looking at things like that, so I sat there looking at them and he asked which ones I liked best and I showed him all of the ones doing it dogstyle, I wonder why? Ha... Anyway I don't know what was said next but he told me that I could have 3 of them for whatever [ I honestly can't remember ] actually I don't really think that I understood him because of what happened next. I do remember telling him that I wanted them all and he said, no. But the next thing that happened and I do mean, the very next thing.... I didn't even see him undoing his pants or getting down on the floor. All I know is that one second I'm talking to him and the next thing I know, he's got his pants pulled down and he's on his elbows and knees in front of the coffee table, begging me to fuck him.

His big white ass was staring at me, begging me to fuck it, with his big hairy balls sac, hanging down below it and I couldn't do it.

Even though I couldn't do it, I couldn't stop looking at it and the more I looked at it, the madder I got at him for wanting me to do that. And somewhere along the way I snapped and the next thing I knew, I was down behind him and ramming my little boner, up into his little asshole as had and fast as I could. In other words I was raping him and making him pay for what I was afraid that I was going to become. An old man, down on my elbows and knees, begging some young boy to fuck me. HOW DEGRADING THAT MUST HAVE BEEN FOR HIM and for that, I'M SORRY. I REALLY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND YET, JUST HOW LONELY LIFE CAN GET SOMETIMES.

I'M SORRY..................
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