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Introduction:

Waiting for the postman.
The first Saturday each month is a very special day for Randolph and Henrietta. Even 40 years of marriage has not dulled their excitement for this day as they wait in anticipation of the postman’s delivery. They cuddle and smile at each other childlike as footsteps can be heard approaching the front door. Suddenly there is a clunk and an envelope lands on the welcome mat. “You open it” says Randolph invitingly. Henrietta carefully removes the contents and after a short study yells out “You fucking beauty, just what we wanted, Randy (as she calls him affectionately) it’s the one with multiple anal orgasms in”. Gripping her waist he stares at the C.D. cover with her; as she reads out the film titles. “Sluts Love Orgies, Anal Orgasmic and Double Penetration”, Randy grips Hornyetta (as he calls her in private) firmly on the ass as they think a while about the good hot sex they will have while watching these films.

“I can’t wait any longer, close the curtains and lets get down to it” says Randy. His wife smilingly agrees and heads for the C.D. player while Randy locks the door. As the recognisable porn music begins they undress each other lustily groping each others private parts. A large jar of sweet smelling lube is produced; a previous delivery via the postman. They both take a large handful; Randy pushes his between Hornyetta’s legs which she gladly opens for him as he works it into her pussy and fingers an ample amount up her ass. Likewise Randy feels his cock and balls being manipulated by lube covered hands; this is all the foreplay they need as the blue movie action starts. Randy and Hornyetta have always loved sex albeit with each other. In a lot of long time relationships one or the other often loses the urge, but these grandparents could be mistaken for horny rabbits. It had got a little dull a few years back, but then they discovered mail order porn. No embarrassment of shops; their own private sex toy wonderland for a fucking good time. They had built up a good collection and liked nothing better than copying what the actors did. They often boasted that they would have been great porn stars, if only they had discovered it 40 year earlier. The couple looked upon the postman’s monthly delivery as educational, for they were never taught anything like this at school.


“They always start with a blow job” says Hornietta referring to the movie while kneeling to meet his rock hard cock. Randy savours the moment thinking how lucky he is to have a wife like he has. He reaches down and fondles her ample breasts, she begins to lick his balls remarking “Thank goodness I learned how to deep throat” “Yes it was a good film; “Tonsil Scrapers” moans Randy. Copying the film Randy is soon between Hornyettas legs as she spreads out on the rug. Before pushing his hard cock into her pussy he gently inserts her favourite dildo toy into her ass. He only inserted it a couple of inches as she was only a novice at anal, though hoping in time to have his full hard cock rammed in. It is wonderful stuff as they are fucking like they had just met. Then darn it the firkin phone starts ringing. “Leave it” yells Hornyetta, “It won’t be important, well not as important as this” she says pushing her well lubed pussy up to meet his balls. The film scene changes which leads to them receiving a 69; if their mouths were free both would be smiling most contentedly. This goes on for some heavenly time before Randy finds himself fucking mans best friend “The Pussy” doing it doggy style, faster and faster gently moving her anal toy for double penetration. Then cruel luck they hear a car arrive on the pebbled front of the house. The car has unfortunately arrived at the same time as Randy, as he jumps to his feet his cock is shooting large amounts of hot sperm all over the carpet. A voice can be heard from outside; “Hello Mr’s Patterson” it is their daughter shouting across to the next door neighbour.

Panic stricken Henrietta whispers” Quick she has a key, turn the C.D. off and get upstairs you are naked” “So are you” says Randy his cock still sticking out like a beam. Luckily they can hear their daughter having a conversation telling their neighbour how she had phoned, but as there was no answer she was just checking to be sure all was well. Randy races out the door banging his erect cock on the way, “Ouch you fucker” he mumbles scrambling up the stairs. Meanwhile his wife quickly puts on her thick woollen jumper and covers her naked bottom half with a matching woollen blanket, both presents from her daughter to protect her from winter chills then sits on her rocking chair. The lock turns and in comes her daughter with her own daughter. “Mum, Grandma” they shout in unison, “Are you alright”? “Of course” she replies “You are early; you usually come late afternoon time on Saturdays” Her daughter explains there is a kids party this afternoon so they would not be coming as per normal. Her daughter then asks a tirade of questions, where’s Dad, why are there clothes all over the place and why is she sat there with no TV. on? Then suddenly her granddaughter makes a nasty uugghhh sound. “Grandma there is something sticky on your carpet, I can feel it through my shoes” The daughter concurs, “Same here what is it on the carpet?” “Oh don’t worry just something your Grandpa done” she says sheepishly. This reply brings a very puzzled look to her daughters face. Thinking quickly she explains, “He was pouring my medicine last night and stumbled spilling a little from the container, it’s only cough mixture but very sticky”. “Pity you can’t take your liquid straight from the container” says her daughter. With a smile her mother nods “Believe me I would love to do just that” “Does that medicine make you feel better Grandma?” “It certainly does” Henrietta replies winking at her granddaughter.

Seeing such a happy face makes her granddaughter suddenly leap on to her lap and hug her round the neck. This causes Henrietta to jump and fall to the back of the chair; she lets out a loud OOoohhh sound causing the startled child to jump back off her knee. In her hurry the dildo has been left in her ass, after months of patiently taking a bit at a time she has unintentionally become a fully paid member of the anal club. The full length becomes firmly entrenched in her ass, her jaw drops and mouth widens as her face reddens. Not being in a position to retrieve it Henrietta can not stop herself from letting out a few more OOoohhs and one or two AAgghhs. Rushing back downstairs from visiting her father, her daughter yells “Mom what the hell is up?” Slowly gathering her composure she assures the shocked visitors, “Don’t worry it is only trapped wind, just never had it with such force before” “Oh poor mom that must be a right pain in the ass, lucky we called when we did”. “Grandpa sure is sweating he has got a temperature” continues her daughter. “No, No” says Henrietta positively, “He got up and did a bit of early morning exercise like he often does then felt a little stiff so decided to have a short nap”. The daughter proceeds to tidy away the clothes, wash the sticky medicine from the carpet and finds a nice program on T.V. about home craft, thinking her mom will enjoy this. “We got to go now mum, but I will return after dropping off at the party”. “Run along me and your dad will be just fine now” she assures them.



As they are getting in the car their granddaughter can be heard saying to her mum, “I do feel sorry for them; poor Grandma alone downstairs needing big woollen clothes to keep warm and Grandpa with a hot chill upstairs”. The car is heard leaving then all is silent for a few moments. Until “Get that fucking film back on” Randy is back downstairs naked, his cock beginning to stand to attention once again. Hornyetta quickly bends down to put the new Anal Orgasmic C.D. on. Randy can not resist taking charge of the script, seeing her hot pussy he rams his cock deep into it. In gasping breaths Hornyetta says, “I want you to shot your cumm up my pussy, over my tits, down my throat, cover my face in it even in my hair, but don’t firkin shoot it on the carpet.

So next time you visit elderly people, just think why is she wearing that blanket over her bottom half? Why is her husband in bed this time of day? How come there is no T.V. on? Finally don’t stay too long, there may be an aching pussy and cock needing to be sorted out.
19 comments

anonymous readerReport

2012-08-09 12:04:57
I came across the rouetr's install disc while looking for the restore disc that came with the laptop. I decided to try reinstalling the rouetr first. It informed me that the installation failed, yet despite this my laptop reconnected with the rouetr, and therefore the internet. I've set new restore points and restarted my computer a couple of times. So far the connection has held.I hope I don't have to do this again any time soon! *fingers crossed*

anonymous readerReport

2011-08-27 16:17:59
A Negative vote for your bullshit joke..... js-hellman posts much better and much more funny jokes. people go checkout his jokes you will laugh like hell.

...douchebag

anonymous readerReport

2011-08-27 16:17:45
that was funny but ii really didnt have much to do with sex
===================================================
It had B.D.S.M. and rape, lol. thanks for comment.

anonymous readerReport

2011-08-27 16:17:40
that was funny but ii really didnt have much to do with sex
===================================================
It had B.D.S.M. and rape, lol. thanks for comment.

anonymous readerReport

2011-08-27 16:17:35
that was funny but ii really didnt have much to do with sex
===================================================
It had B.D.S.M. and rape, lol. thanks for comment.

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