Pals in a bar.
Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman standing in a bar.
Englishman says: "My wife is so thick. She's just bought a car and she doesn't drive."
Scotsman says: "Think that's bad? My wife has just paid for a swimming pool to be built in the back garden and she doesn't swim."
Irishman thinks for a while: "I can beat that, my wife has just gone to Greece on holiday. She's taken 50 condoms with her and she doesn't even have a c.o.c.k..."
A bonus joke to accompany the above.
A man naked looks in the mirror and says to his wife,
why do i always get a hard on when i look at myself,
wife says,because even your cock thinks your a cunt.
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