Memories in the life of a boy.
A note for the reader. All the characters in this fictional story were carefully screened. All identification was thoroughly checked and authenticated. Not one is under the age of twenty one. If you are looking for a story involving underage fictional characters, you will not find them here.

The author is of the age that he sees all persons between the ages of four and thirty as boys and girls. The ones under age four are of course babies. The author does not distinguish the ages of the boys and girls other than the fact that all are above the legal age of twenty one and that some are older than others. Thus many of the characters are referred to as boys and or girls.

To get the maximum enjoyment from the story, it is suggested that the reader read Part One first.

Total Confusion Part Two

A few days later, David told me he was sorry for what he'd done and that he wanted to make it up to me. He said that he felt bad because he had promised I could compare my thing with his and see how it worked so I would get an idea of what mine would do when it got bigger.

My Mom told me that although I am not thirty yet, I am no longer what she referred to as in the growing stage. Even so, I never developed any hair down there and there isn’t much else there either if you know what I mean.

David said he got carried away by my beauty and could not resist me because he loved me so. I was not happy with what he'd done, but I was surprised that he told me he loved me and liked to be around me. That made me feel good. I wasn’t so sure I liked the idea of being beautiful. We were in Granny's living room at the time. David said we could practice kissing some if I wanted to. I couldn't say no. Kissing was fun, even if it was with a guy. We kissed for quite a while, when David suddenly told me to go back to the hayloft and I could check out his thing. I could take my time and he would not do it again.

I believed him and I really kind of enjoyed holding it. Besides, I thought he might let me kiss him some more. I knew he would let me kiss him right here where we were, but we had to keep a constant watch to make sure that no one caught us. If I kissed him in the barn, we wouldn't be disturbed. Then I could close my eyes and pretend I was kissing a girl. I was hooked on kissing.

It made me feel important when I had his attention like that. Being with my older cousin was a really neat thing. All the other older guys always told me to get lost. When we returned to the barn, David undressed right away. The way he smiled at me, I knew that I was wanted.

I gently touched the tip of it. When I did, it would bounce up as if it had a spring in it. I dropped to my knees for a better view. He was so big and hairy. A sight like I'd never seen. I looked under his balls and touched him there too. It was awesome. I was getting to check out his thing. He let me look at and touch him anywhere I pleased. I was going to take good advantage of this, because I may never get to see one this close again. I can’t believe that I actually thought I might never see another hard prick.

The more I played, the more he smiled, The more he smiled the more I liked being with him. He urged me to get naked so he could enjoy my beauty. I stood up, but I was hesitant. I had decided I didn’t mind touching it and I didn’t mind playing with it. I had even decided to do it for him until he finished getting wet, but I was afraid he'd do my mouth again.

I still remember the moldy smell of the hay as I lay on the floor and the feeling of helplessness with him on top of me. I remember the smell of sex and vomit. I didn’t know that that was sex at the time, but I remember that smell. I remember the sticky dirty feeling I had all over when he got through and I remember that awful taste, that taste that just wouldn’t go away.

David told me not to worry. He was my friend. What happened last time would not happen again. He proceeded to take off my clothes. I didn’t want him to, but what could I do? When he had my clothes off, we seemed to get a little closer. I continued to play. David gently pushed me to my knees. He guided one of my hands to the back of his ass. The smooth skin on his cheek felt warm and soft as my hand pulled him close to me. I continued to stroke it for him as he smiled down at me.

All of a sudden he came on my face and my chest. I was startled and just stood there dumbly not knowing what to do. I hadn’t learned that this is what is called shooting off. All I knew was that when I did it long enough he got wet and I hadn’t planned on getting wet with him.

He told me he was sorry. There just hadn't been enough time to move. I had made him feel so good that it came real quick. Now I knew it was my fault because I made him feel so good. He reached down pulling me to a standing position. David leaned over and kissed me full on the mouth, rubbing his juice across my nipples. It was wonderful. He was kissing me again and I was eating it up. It felt even better with him rubbing his wetness all over me.

I remember thinking that this is weird and I wanted to run out of the barn, but I couldn't move as he was holding me tight in his arms. It felt so good, being this close. I didn't mind being kissed at all. I had his full attention all to myself. I could stand being kissed for that, but I felt it was bad being naked with another guy doing these things. It was my fault, because I made him so excited.

David started licking my face and kissing my neck. I felt strange, like this was sick and I should not let him do it. My mind said no, but my body said yes. I tingled all over and my thing got hard too. He was lapping his own juice as he worked his way down to my nipples. I had never felt this good before and yet I felt like I was doing something really bad. I felt like I wasn’t worth a shit, because I was feeling good in front of a guy. There has to be something wrong with me..

Eventually, when he'd run out of his juice on my chest, his lips slipped down to my middle. I was so confused. I was reacting the way that a queer would. I had been sexually aroused, by a man. I was nothing, a nobody. I was so ashamed and yet I was still delighted at what he did. I was really enjoying having my dick sucked.

He wrapped his hands around my buttocks and he sucked me hard. I liked being close and closer you don't get. I was disappointed. Not in what he was doing, but that my thing did not work quite like his. He'd sucked me for half an hour and I didn't start jumping around. There was no juice squirting. I thought mine was broken. I have the piss poorest luck to get stuck with a thing that did not work. He told me not to worry, he'd try it again from time to time. “We'll get it working, I promise you we will.”

By now David was staring at me the way that he does. He asked me to kiss it. I refused. He begged me. “Just brush your lips on it like you did before.” I kissed the head of it. I guessed it would be okay as long as I didn't let him put it in my mouth. As I was kissing, he stuck his hand on my face. He shoved his thumb into my cheek forcing the inside of my cheek between my teeth.

It hurt enough to make me open my mouth. How dumb can I be. It's happening again. He held my cheeks so firmly between his hands. He said, “If you'd just go ahead and suck it, it would be over quicker.” I was trapped and there was no way out. All I could do was suck. When he shot off, I threw up again all down my front. He said that he couldn't help it. I was just so sweet.

I didn't like sucking, but I liked being sweet. He said to remember that no one could know what I did. I felt really stupid. It had happened again. I didn’t know it then, but it was going to happen again, again and again. I lost count of the number of times he went in. In telling my story, I will skip ahead some at times and surely return. This is a record of how I felt when these things were done.

A couple of weeks went by, with David just gawking at me. He didn't try anything, so I figured it was over. I didn't mind him staring at me, too much. It did make me feel a little uneasy and the memories of what he made me do in the barn made me feel like I was queer. I was already having nightmares about sucking his dick. I could feel it squirting into my mouth. It even felt and smelled real.

I hated that taste. I wanted to die every time I thought about how he had filled my mouth up with that shit. You couldn't spit it out and it wasn't going away. The bad part of it all was knowing it had come out of his dick and I had a mouth full of it. I still didn't know how he had expected me not to throw up. The way he looked at me, I knew he wanted me. I felt like all I had to do was avoid being alone with him in a place where he could make me do it and everything would be all right.

So much time had passed that I thought he wasn't going to try anything any more. We were in Granny's back yard. We had been playing monsters and I was running from him to keep him from eating me up. It was a game we played a lot. David would growl and chomp his teeth at me. I was supposed to pretend he was a big, mean monster with sharp teeth.

I was running from him and having a lot of fun squealing and trying not to get caught when I ran past the back of the shed. David caught me there. At this point, we couldn't be seen from the house. David cupped my face in his hands and pulled my mouth up to his giving me a kiss. I already told you that I found kissing fascinating and was willing to kiss David as long as he wanted me to.

The only problem I had with kissing him was I was scared to death that someone else might catch me kissing him. That wouldn't be cool. It wasn't long before I felt his hand slide into my pants. I could feel his fingers gently wrap around my thing. He whispered to me to wait a few minutes and meet him in the barn. He said he needed my lips on his thing really bad. He said he wanted me to do it for him again.

I told him to forget it. “I'm not sucking it. I don't care what you do. I'm not putting it in my mouth.” David said he'd give me to the count of three to change my mind or he would change it for me. When he said three, I doubled over in agony as he clamped his fingers on one of my balls. I felt like I was going to throw up. David said, "If you don't agree to meet me in the barn, I'm going to bite it next time." It already hurt enough and I damn sure didn't want him to bite me, not if it was going to feel like that. I told him I would meet him in the barn in about ten minutes.

I waited about ten minutes and reluctantly headed for the barn. Surprisingly, I arrived first. The way David had been drooling over the prospect of having me do it for him, I had expected him to already be naked waiting on me when I got there. It turned out that he didn't show up for quite a while.

I had time to agonize over what was about to take place. I ran it through my mind several times as I waited. Each time, I could taste it in my mouth. I almost threw up and he wasn't even there yet. My stomach was in knots. I was ill. How in hell was I going to suck his thing? When the barn door opened and I heard David climbing that ladder, my heart sank. I knew I was doomed.

David told me to undress as he removed his own clothes. When we were completely nude, David held me in his arms, kissing me gently and sucking my tongue. I kissed him back and grabbed his dick in my hand. I started rubbing it as I kissed. I was trying to finish him with my hand in hopes it would satisfy him and I wouldn't have to put it in my mouth.

We had been kissing for a long time when he shot off in my hand. I felt a great sense of relief. I had succeeded. I was going to get to leave without sucking his dick. When David let me go, I started to put my clothes back on. He stopped me saying that I hadn't done as I promised. It was time for me to suck on his thing.

He stood there looking at me and I stood there looking at it for what seemed like forever, when David dropped to his knees and leaned over taking my balls into his mouth. He sucked on them gently until my thing got hard and then he bit down on them hard enough to get my attention. David stood back up and told me that if I didn't have it in my mouth at the count of three, he would go back down there and bite them all the way off.

I was scared he would hurt me some more. I was also afraid that he might actually bite my nut sack off, so I dropped down to my knees and leaned forward taking his thing into my mouth. I sucked him for a long time before it got hard again. It seemed like eons before he finally started shooting off and it seemed like an eternity before he finished shooting off. I was so proud of myself, I had sucked him all the way off and hadn't thrown up. He pulled his dick from my mouth and told me to swallow it. When I did, I threw up immediately.

That was the last time for almost a year that I was able to do it without throwing up before he finished. David let me regain my composure, namely to quit throwing up. I had learned at least enough to avoid throwing up all over myself. Most of the time anyway. After I had calmed down, David motioned for me to go back down on it. I was sick. I didn't want to suck it anymore. It was repulsive.

I begged him to please not make me do it anymore. He told me that I only had to do him two more times, then I could leave. That bastard. I was beginning to hate David. I put it back in my mouth again and proceeded to suck. Oh well, I only had two more times to go, I guess I could survive that. He would tell me to suck harder, to suck lighter, do it like I was eating a lollipop, then like I was sucking a straw.

He would tell me how good I was making him feel. How sweet my lips were. How fucking pretty I was and a lot of embarrassing stuff like that. It made me feel like a perverted little bastard. The more I sucked it, the less I liked having it in my mouth. The longer it was there, the nastier it seemed to get.

When he shot off this time, even the puke didn't hide the taste of his cum. I felt like it was stuck in the back of my throat. I sucked him off three more times and threw up three more times before David let me get dressed. The lying bastard. I was in that barn for close to three hours. I could taste the sex on my breath for a long time after David let me leave. I hated myself for sucking a guy's dick. I am so fucked up. Only a no good shit could suck somebody's dick like I did. Was I really a little girl and they gave me the wrong parts?

I eventually learned that it was less painful and went more quickly as well, when I just wrapped my lips around it and sucked him. By now I was so used to it that I no longer threw up. It still felt gross holding his prick between my lips, knowing that soon he would squirt that nasty stuff into my mouth. I guess the worst part was when I swallowed it.

No matter how much I swallowed, I felt like it was still there. I could taste it for hours after he got through. When we were sitting in Granny’s living room, it took on a different meaning. When we weren't alone, he would sit across from me with that look. I wondered if the others could tell. The way he looked at me, I surely could tell. He wanted my mouth and the sooner the better.

Sometimes he'd play Monopoly with me in the living room and when everyone went outside, he'd take it out and motion for me to suck him real quick. He’d sit in a chair, while I on my knees, would twirl my tongue around the head of his shaft. Then I would suck. Sometimes like on a lollipop and then on a straw. We would do it at Granny’s whenever he couldn’t find an excuse to get me in the car. He had to wait till I quit throwing up before we could do it in the house.

I had to be ready, (if anyone started to come inside,) to pull back in a flash and look like we’d been playing Monopoly the whole dog gone time. David would just throw his shirt tail over it so no one would see it sticking up. As quick as they left, I’d be back at my post.

Usually he had me wrap my hands around his waist, resting my armpits on his legs as my head bobbed up and down. He would put his hands behind my head while he came, pulling me close to make sure that I got it all. He taught me to keep sucking long after he came. He said he loved the way I made him feel when I sucked it after he went soft.

When he went soft more of his juice oozed into my mouth. I felt so sick. It still tasted nasty and I still wanted to throw up. If someone came in while he was shooting off in my mouth, I would sit there dying inside with a mouthful of his juice and rolling the dice, while David finished shooting off under his shirt. It was awful.

I just knew that whoever had come in could tell I had been sucking David's dick. I couldn't swallow it while they were there because I was afraid I might throw up. Then they would see his juice in the puke. There was no way I could get up as David had been playing with my nipples and my dick was still hard. Sometimes I would hold his juice in my mouth for over a half hour before they would leave.

David was always saying things to embarrass the hell out of me. It was so demeaning to have a guy telling me how good my lips felt on his thing. How nice and smooth my ass is. Things would be so much easier if he’d stop telling me what he liked best. It was do this and do that. Oh wow that feels wonderful. You’ve sure got pretty legs. That kind of thing. I was feeling more hatred for the bastard all the time. Why won’t he leave me alone?

I can’t stand sucking him, but I don’t know what I can do to get it to stop. Sometimes it got hard again and I ended up swallowing twice. Sometimes someone would come back in the house before he got through and he wouldn’t get a chance to fill up my mouth. I liked it when this happened, because it wasn’t as hard to get the taste out of my mouth, when he didn’t shoot off in it.

He was a little grumpy when this happened, but I didn’t care as long as I got out of doing it. I got where I would be somewhere else when I was doing it. I was not sucking a prick. I could not do the things he was making that other guy do to him. I blocked it out almost every time. I went into my own dream world to survive. It was so weird, I was there responding to his commands and feeling everything that was done, but mentally I no longer existed. There was only, that queer bait chicken shit bastard doing those faggot type things.


2013-03-05 18:46:57
Counciling WILL NOT HELP. Ken, if this keeps going on even now? Then you should punch him! Drop kick him! DO SOMETHING!!! If I had a fag doing that to me? I'd be in jail. He'd be in the hospital. Simple as that.


2012-09-20 15:17:37
Awesome story, I enjoyed it a lot, will read the entire series...


2011-09-28 11:06:18
I couldn't agree more. On both counts. The counciling was very helpful. It allowed me to understand that what was done to me was wrong. I thought it was something everyone experienced but kept secret. Yes, it was awful. When you read this series, put yourself in Kenny's position. Then you'll understand what the story is all about. One more point. This story is over. It can't be changed, nor can it be undone. It had to be told a little different due to the nw rules. The characters are older here than they were when the story took place, but we have to follow the rules. It is a bad thing, but sticking ones head in the sand and pretending it didn't happen by saying don't write this shit won't make this kind of thing not happen. Total Confusion is a true story. I put it in fantasy because I mixed the facts between the characters. It all happened, but not necessarily in the order it is written. Keep in mind that all of my other series belong in the fantasy genre as they are all made up.

anonymous readerReport

2011-09-27 08:02:35
I feel that counselling would be beneficial for you, dont be negative. Sex is interesting but not when forced.

anonymous readerReport

2011-09-20 17:01:18
Makes me want a blow job. I love this shit.

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