The untold story of Jack Schitt and his love of pussy
JackassTales…Tale # 44… Readers: I can’t take full credit for this story. There is a humorous, non-sexual joke going around the internet about getting to know Jack Schitt. I’ve taken the 260 word joke and expanded it into this 5800 word sex story. Most of the character names and circumstances belong to the joke’s author. I have taken the liberty of filling in the blanks. I don’t know if this will work or not. Here, I’m going to paraphrase the author of the joke, ‘WHO IS JACK SCHITT?’ [For some time many of us have questioned just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, “You don't know Jack Schitt”! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Read the following JackassTale and you will find an answer. After reading this, when someone says, “You don't know Jack Schitt”, you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt]
The Unauthorized Sex Story of Jack Schitt
by JackassTales & Crock O. Schitt
Jack Schitt was not satisfied with the university his father and mother sent him to. Academics bored the shit out of him. “Ha, I made a joke,” the young man said to himself. “Wouldn’t old grandpa be proud!” he added.
Instead of pursuing an educationally advanced career, Jack decided to enter the family business. Now, at the age of twenty, this up-and-coming man was one of the most successful and highly paid representatives the company had.
Pulling his Cadillac coupe in through a gate, Jack sped up a winding road and squealed to a stop in front of a two-story farmhouse. Unbeknownst to this young salesman, his race-driving shenanigans had kicked up a stinging spray of pea-sized gravel into a young lady’s face.
This very same lady sprang up from the flowerbed she was weeding and began cursing. “Asshole!” the infuriated, redhead, pigtailed country girl berated. “Ain’t you got better sense than to speed around on a dairy farm? Shit, the cows might stop giving milk for a week!”
Jack stared at the barefooted, bare legged girl whose summer dress was hiked up over her kneeling knees. Why, if he was a guesser of gal’s ages, he would guess this female to be not a day over eighteen years in age! But, whatever her true fact age, she sure was a shapely looker which caused the peckerwood stick inside his pants to stiffen up to attention!
Out of curiosity’s sake, Jack asked the country doll, “Girl, how did you know my last name?”
“I don’t know your name!” the girl stammered. “Unless your name is ‘Asshole’ I have no clue as to what is! Why, I ain’t laid eyes on you till today!”
Puzzled, by the intoxicatingly pretty girl’s behavior, Jack stuttered. “But, but, you called me by my last name when you said the cows might stop giving milk!” he retorted.”
“I did not!” the furious girl said. “I only used the cuss word ‘shit’. And mister, if you damn dare tell on me, I’ll kick your ass all over hell and back!”
She had a foul mouth on her, she did, Jack was thinking. Oh, he wouldn’t tell on her but maybe he could blackmail the temperamental redhead into giving him a kiss with those luscious, pouty lips of hers.
“Okay, okay, girl, don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Jack said. “As a general rule, I don’t tattle-tell, but girl you have been so mean to me, I might just tell anyways! And girlie, I’m not afraid of your ass kicking! I expect you to kiss and make up with me or I’ll tell it all!”
Scrunching her face up into an angry scowl, the girl snarled, “I was right the first time, your name is ‘Asshole’!”
Despite her furry, the young lady stepped closer to Jack then threw her arms around his neck. After licking her lips she planted a slippery kiss smack dab on his awaiting mouth.
If this young lady had a notion that Jack had only one kiss in mind, then she was badly mistaken. He put his arms around her waist and pulled the buxom girl’s body tightly against his chest. So firm was he holding her, he could feel the rapid beat of her heart. Hell, if he wasn’t mistaken, he could even feel the imprints of two stiffening nipples pressing against the fabric of his starched white shirt!
In response to blackmail this girl had begrudgingly given this man one kiss, but for heaven’s sake, why did she give him a second and then a third! And, god almighty, why, pray tell, was she allowing him to run his hands up under the hem of her flowery green sundress? And, one more thing, just what the hell was he doing with his hands inside her panties and why were his fingers flittering with the flesh of her super-slicky clit!
Just then, a screendoor opened and out strolled several people. “What the hell is all the ruckus out here about?” a man said. “Oh daughter, I see you have a visitor! Don’t you know it is impolite not to introduce one’s suitor to her parents and grandparents?”
Suitor…? “Oh heavens Dad, he’s not my suitor!” the red-faced girl pulled away and adamantly protested. “Goodness gracious, I don’t even know him!”
Even though Jack’s right hand smelled of fresh pussy, he stepped forward, shook the man’s hand, and introduced himself. “Hello Sir, my name is Jack Schitt,” he said. “I am a commodities buyer for the Kneedeep N. Schitt Fertilizer Company. I have come to your farm to talk business with you. I would like to make a deal with you to buy up all your excess cowshit. I will pay you top dollar because quality dairy-cow cowshit makes premium fertilizer!”
“Hey, young man,” an elderly man standing behind the girl’s father said. “Is old Kneedeep still living? We went through the wars together. I heard he became a successful businessman, but we just never kept in touch. Tell him Short Bob says, ‘Hi’. My name is really Bob Short, but for obvious reasons you can see why I picked up the nickname.” The short-statured man then laughed at himself.
“Where are my manners Short Bob’s son,” exclaimed. “Jack, I’m Joe, this is my wife Nell, my mother Mary, and you know our daughter, Noe!”
Jack had already shook Joe Short’s hand, so he now did the gentlemanly thing, and shook the hands of Bob, Mary, and Nell Short. For some reason she didn’t explain, the mother of the red-faced country girl smelled of Jack’s hand. Before the woman could voice her concern over the fresh pussy smell, she was interrupted.
“Jack, do you have an uncle about my age?” Joe asked. “It seems like I remember going to school with a tall fella named Big Schitt. Could that be him?”
Jack nodded in the affirmative. “Yes Sir, he’s the one and the same,” he answered. “Big was sort of the prodigal son so he left home to tour the world. In Italy he met a woman with one leg shorter than the other named ‘Pisa’. Uncle Big tells a story about how Aunt Pisa got lost in the woods one time and couldn’t find her way out because she kept leaning over and walking in circles. With his new Italian bride, Big Schitt and Pisa Schitt started a very lucrative medicinal marijuana business called ‘Good Schitt’.”
Not to be outdone by her husband, Nell threw in her own recollections. “Jack, I knew your mother and father in school,” she said. “The two high school sweethearts were so crazy about each other they got pregnant then married before the school year was out. Over the summer, Awe Schitt and O. Schitt had a son they named Jack. Why, that’s you, I reckon!”
“Yes ma’am, it was me for certain,” Jack responded. “Mr. Short, if you don’t mind, can we take a look at some of your cowshit? The sun is coming up and it’s getting hotter and hotter out here.”
Glancing towards his daughter, Joe ordered, “Noe, take Jack over to one of the milking barns and show him some shit. Girl, you know just about as much about cowshit as I do! And, don’t give me any of your sass either! Jack, just call me Joe. Come up to the house when you’re through and we’ll talk business.”
Noe was a temperamental redhead, as Jack well knew from his recent encounter with her. When her father had ordered her to show him around, he could just see her sassy temper flaring in protest. But, with her father’s threatening warning, she relented.
“Come on, Asshole,” the sassy-tempered girl whispered. “I’ll show you around, but Mister, you had better damn well keep your hands to yourself!”
As Noe and Jack entered the coolness of a milking barn, the man asked, “Where in the world did you get that pretty name of yours, honey?”
“It’s a combination of Nell and Joe,” she answered. “And, damn you, I ain’t your ‘honey’!”
Before Jack could laugh at his mischief, one of the dairy cows lifted her tail and let loose with a load of cowshit. Taking a glass vial and a Q-tip from his pocket, he scooped up a tipful of the fresh shit and held it under his nose. “Wow, this is some nice shit!” he exclaimed as he put the Q-tip into the vial and put a stopper on it. “I’ll check it out at the lab at home later.”
Noe escorted Jack around some of the other barns then through some of the rich-grass fields and pastures. This seductively attractive young woman had wasted her breath by warning the man to keep his hands off her. She protested, but every once in a while he got himself a few more sweet, wet kisses and some touchy-feely groping gooses.
On more than one occasion, Jack managed to get a hand or two inside Noe’s panties. In short time, he discovered that her buxom bosom was not encumbered by a bra. This man took a special pleasure in bouncing and juggling the braless breasts.
Stopping at a thirty inch high stock-watering tank, Jack scooped up several mouthfuls of the refreshingly cool water. As an old windmill squeaked, Noe drank from the crystal-clear water herself.
“Damn, it’s hot out here!” Jack announced. “Hey, let’s go skinny dipping!”
At first, Noe had no intentions of doing any such thing. This young woman’s determined resolve evaporated when Jack shed every stitch of his clothing. She stared in fascinated wonder as the view of a muscular chest and arms gave way to the mesmerizing perfection of the elongated length and meaty girth of this man’s swollen cock.
Slicker than shit can slide out of a full-a-crap goose, Noe stripped her sundress over her head and pulled her panties down over her bare feet. Standing bare-assed naked, this girl awaited whatever the fates threw her way. This country girl hadn’t yet been fully informed about the mating habits of a human male, but she had seen what a stud-bull’s cock does when breeding an in-heat cow.
Just as naturally as the hot sun shines on a cloudless summer day, Jack reached out and juggled Noe’s breasts. Melon-shaped in size, the buxom twins overflowed this man’s huge hands. Lowering his head, Jack used his palms to lift the bodacious boobs up to his mouth. As his massive paws massaged all the mammary flesh they could touch, his mouth suckled upon the girl’s succulent, grape-sized nipples.
While she was exceedingly overjoyed by the very first titsucking she had ever had, Noe discovered something else which was exceptionally exciting to experience. This young woman’s wandering fingers wrapped themselves around the elongated cockshaft between Jack’s legs. By squeezing, pumping, and playing she felt the stiffened rod swell and become even more rigidly inflexible.
Reaching lower, Noe’s hand juggled Jack’s testicle sack and rolled his egglike testicular marbles between her fingers. Even though she was a full-grown woman in age, she was as yet unsure of what she was supposed to do with this man-cock in her hands. Now, if she were an in-heat cow and this man was a breeding bull there could only be one logical conclusion to this situation.
Giving in to her basic instincts, Noe dropped her man’s cock and balls and pulled her nipples out of his vacuuming mouth. Spinning around, she bent over and grabbed the edge of the watering tank. Laying her head atop her hands, she lifted her ass into the air.
“Breed me, Jack,” Noe beseeched brazenly. “Just ram your seed-cock up into my pussy and shove it in deep!”
Jack was taken aback by the girl’s shameless demand. More than anything in this world, getting his cock into Noe’s pussy was exactly the very thing he wanted to do!
As his eyes gazed at the country girl’s flawless ass, Jack took an unplanned detour from his pussyfucking task. Dropping to his knees, he began kissing and massaging all of the silky smooth assflesh his mouth could reach.
Jack’s tongue slipped into the top of Noe’s long ass slit and allowed itself to trace its path. Before long, he was tickling the puckered, tightly-closed mouth of a feminine asshole. Not stopping to investigate, he licked lower and found himself licking the fleshy protrusion of this girl’s dangling clit.
Vacuuming Noe’s clit into his mouth, Jack suckled, he licked, he slurped, and he ate merrily. Mmm, it was a delightful feminine treat, so he sucked and chewed to his heart’s contentment. The vaginal moisture dripping on his tongue tasted so sweet he stopped chewing on this girl’s dangly flesh and began exploring the hole from whence the tasty fluids came.
Jack’s flittering tongue spread the delicate butterfly wings of this girl’s inner pussylips then began playing around inside. Cupping his tongue to stiffen it, this man’s probing and prodding oral examination became unintentionally rough. Oops, his stiffened tongue-cock pressed too hard against an elasticized barrier which refused to break.
“Ouch Jack!” Noe protested. “You’re hurting my hymen! Oh, what you are doing feels incredibly good, but I don’t think you can break my virgin hymen with your tongue!”
After a second of hesitation, the shameless young woman added, “Mister, get up off of your knees and put that big bull-cock of yours inside my pussy! If you ram it in fast, hard, and deep, you can bust me easily!”
Jack sprang up with the energetic zest of bullmoose answering the siren mating call of the wild. Guiding his swollen erection he placed his cockhead into the very same hole where his tongue had been. After teasing the girl’s tender pussy flesh, he allowed dripping vaginal moisture to coat his rigid rod with its lubricating magic.
Abruptly, Jack stopped playing around. With a fast thrust, he rammed his meaty cock into Noe’s super-slippery hole. His hard shove pierced the virginal hymen and tore it asunder. Even as the pussy-busted girl’s scream reverberated, Jack’s elongated cockshaft penetrated deep into the depths of her uncharted vaginal territory.
Fast, hard, and deep was what this cockhungry young woman had demanded, so this is exactly what she was getting. Jack slammed his cock in and out in a fury of deep, pussy-penetrating stabs. Jackrabbit quick and jackhammer hard his cockshaft thrusts did go.
Frictional fires built into a raging inferno of orgasmic lust. Pussy cum sprayed, cock cum squirted, and a euphoria of carnal bliss ensued. Out in the middle of a cowshit-mined, green-grass pasture a healthy, virile, rutting young bull copulated with an in-heat young, first-time heifer. Jack’s man-bull sperm raced in a pressurized stream and shot up into Noe’s vaginal tunnel in search of a fertile ovarian egg to impregnate.
Jack and Noe finally jumped their skinny-dipping bodies into the stock watering tank. Lips kissed, hands fondled, and lusty loins joined together again. As orgasms again joined hearts and souls, spouting sperm once more sought for an ovarian soulmate.
When lusts were sated, the two lovers raced back for the house. While Jack finished his cow-shit-buying business with Noe’s father and grandfather, the girl with a cum-filled pussy hastily packed upstairs.
This man and his newfound lover eloped and became man and wife before the sun went down. Nine months later, Jack Schitt and Noe Schitt became the proud parents to the beautiful twin girls, Holie Schitt and Giva Schitt. Over the next few years, the fertile, copulating couple produced several more children: Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, Deep Schitt, and Dip Schitt.
As the children grew, Jack doted on the twin girls almost to the point of incestuous obsession. The aging girls were growing into mirror images of their mother which he had lusted over so much. On more than one occasion, this father’s hands strayed inside feminine clothing and fondled forbidden female flesh. Surprisingly, neither Holie nor Giva made objections when their dad touched them inappropriately. Never once did they tell on him.
Jack became the CEO of the Kneedeep N. Schitt fertilizer company. Under his leadership, the business flourished and grew with the speed of a weed growing in a cowshit patty.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt lost the loving feeling they had thought would last forever. Although it was heartbreaking, the couple divorced. Noe shortly fell in love with a man named Ted Sherlock. They married after a brief courtship and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep the name of their father. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
After losing Noe, Jack became a womanizing pussy addict. This cunt-hungry divorcee would screw any split-mounded female who would drop her panties for him. As a wealthy, healthy, virile, eligible bachelor, Jack had no shortage of hot-to-trot women eager and willing to spread their legs for him.
Although Noe loved her second husband, she couldn’t keep herself from adoring her first love. At least once a week, she and Jack would meet at some forbidden retreat and have an adulterous rendezvous. Lips would kiss, hands would grope, and slippery loins would collide. With years of experience together, a cock and a cunt rejoiced in harmonious orgasmic glee.
Of all the kids, Holie and Giva visited their father the most over the next few years. Whether they felt sorry for their lonely, unwed dad or whether they just loved him more than the other kids did, they never said.
Whatever the reason the twin beauties had for their visits, Jack didn’t mind. Although he had his own master bathroom suite, the growing girls didn’t seem to mind when he slipped into their bathroom for a catch-up talk on their overnight sleepovers. If they happened to be bathing in their oversized tub, they didn’t object to their father’s watching eyes. On many of these occasions they welcomed his magic fingers as he washed their back or dried their hair. The dollbaby girls made no fuss if their daddy’s hand happen to cup and juggle a boob or two or three or four. The teenaged young ladies voiced no objections even if this dad of theirs soaped his hands and washed their maturing pussies.
On the eve of their Sweet Sixteenth birthday, Holie and Giva just happened to be staying overnight with Jack. The 15-year-old twins were bathing and each one had one of their father’s soapy hands washing their pussies.
All of a sudden, Holie spoke. “Dad?” she asked. “Giva and I have been wondering about something. Do you know how to shave pussies?”
“Yeah Dad, do you?” Giva’s voice echoed. “We will be 16 tomorrow, so don’t you think we’re old enough to shave our pussies? Daddy, will you help us do it for our first time?”
What was a father to do, Jack wondered. Suddenly, an answer came to him. “Yes girls, I do know how to shave pussies!” he replied emphatically. “Pussy shaving is a delicate art and, if done incorrectly, skin can be sliced and a painful, bloody cut can get infected! So, yeah, for safety’s sake, I’ll teach you!”
The girls had come prepared. They jumped from the tub then pulled a can of feminine shaving cream and a couple of triple-bladed razors out of a kit bag. They even had a pair of barber’s trim scissors.
Taking turns, Holie and Giva sat on the commode. Jack trimmed the soft, curly snatches of their pubic bushes with the scissors. The wispy hairs fell into the watery bowl below. Using the sweet-smelling shaving cream, he covered their short-snatched hairs then began the perilous task of shaving ticklish teen pussies.
Either daughter would have been the envy of any circus contortionist. By twisting and turning this way and that, they allowed their father’s steady hand to shave off every pussy hair they had. Their dad was so good at his job, there we no nicks, no cuts, no mess.
As each girl’s hairless mound was exposed in all its feminine glory, Jack cleaned it with a warm, wet cloth. Just to be sure of successful hair removal, this conscientious father tested each daughter’s pussy mound with his groping fingers. As an extra check, he used his mouth to follow up. These girls’ dad kissed their vaginal lips and his tongue licked their swollen pussy flesh. Down into silky soft valleys and crevices, his lips and tongue did explore.
Even though it was completely unnecessary for his hair-testing check, Jack spread pussy lips and continued with his kissing and licking investigations. Finding protruding clitoral flesh, he flicked it and licked it then sucked it into his mouth.
As each girl moaned and sighed in her turn, their father’s tongue spread their inner pussy lips and licked the hot-pink flesh inside. This man’s poking and probing tongue found two unbroken hymens. Although drowning in vaginal moisture, this stiffened oral intruder pushed against the elasticized barriers. Still, they refused to break. The only thing that was going to bust these obstacles would be a big, hard, cock!
“Dad, it’s your turn now!” Holie abruptly announced. “Giva and I want to shave you…down there!”
Jack stopped sucking pussy. “But girls!” he protested through pussy-wet lips. “Men don’t shave their cocks!”
Ignoring their father’s protestations, the girls defiantly challenged. “Our dad is going to get his cock shaved!” they declared in unison.
Working as a tag team of rapacious, determined ladies, Holie and Giva stripped all the clothing from their father’s body. Pushing, they guided his naked ass onto the toilet seat they had just recently occupied. The girls snipped and snapped with the scissors. Thick pubic hairs went a flying. After lathering their dad’s entire pubic area, they began shaving with their triple-headed razors. Although inexperienced, the girls made a thorough job of the task they had assigned themselves. A hairless cock and balls soon appeared.
The girls sat back on their bare asses and admired their handiwork. Feminine hands reached out to fondle and grope the nude masculine flesh. “Isn’t that a nice one, Giva?” Holie pronounced. “Doesn’t our father have the most beautiful, big cock you’ve ever seen in your life?”
“He sure does!” Giva answered. “Damn Sis, it’s not only the biggest and most beautiful one either one of us has ever seen, it’s also the first! I’ll betcha this Sis; there isn’t another one better in all of this world!”
While the nude girls giggled, Jack took a moment to catch his breath. This man was trying his best to get his mind to acknowledge the mind-blowing fact that his twin daughters were playing with his freshly-shaved cock.
The pretty young ladies had a secretive, whispered conversation. After that, they played a game of ‘rock-paper-scissors’. “Yeah, I won!” Giva triumphantly declared. “I get to go first!”
Jack wondered what Giva had won and he wondered what she got to do first. While he was doing all of this wondering, his horny young daughters were lubricating his cockhead and cockshaft with some of the slippery fluids leaking from their drippy wet pussies.
All of a sudden, Giva sprang up off the floor and straddled her dad’s legs. With Holie holding her sitting father’s stiffened cock upwards, her standing sister sat down on it.
Giva’s piercing scream resounded throughout the bathroom as her pussy impaled itself upon her father’s rigid penile rod. Her virginal hymen was ripped apart. This girl was an intelligent young lady so she knew there would be pain before the pleasure came.
Fighting through the discomfort, Giva fucked her father with energetic enthusiasm. Bouncing up and down on his meaty erection, she drove his elongated cockshaft deep into her vaginal cavity. As she jumped, her ass slapped against her dad’s lap again and again.
Jack was able to finally catch hold of his daughter’s bouncy boobs. He steadied them as best he could and brought the nubile nipples into his mouth. With his hands massaging the teen breasts, this father of a female had a secret fantasy about drinking milk from these teenaged jugs.
Giva’s hurried fucking soon caused frictional fires to burn out of control. As her dad’s cock slammed into her slippery pussy, her vaginal cum began spraying the manly loins buried within her. At the same time, her father’s seminal cum began filling her female cavity.
Explosive orgasms reverberated throughout feminine and masculine loins. Moans and sighs of orgasmic ecstasy blocked out the world. This father and daughter lost themselves in a netherworld of joyous bliss.
Too soon, it was over. Reluctantly, Giva climbed off Jack’s shrinking, sex-sated cock. “My turn!” Holie firmly insisted. “Dad, don’t you worry about getting hard again. I’ll get your big boy standing up tall or else I’m a girl who doesn’t deserve to get fucked!”
Using a steaming hot washcloth, Holie cleaned all the cummy, bloody mess off her dad’s half-limp cock. When this job was completed, the girl began kissing and licking her father’s sex organ. As the startled man looked on in surprise, his daughter plopped his cockhead into her mouth and began to vigorously suck.
Although an inexperienced cocksucker, Holie was nonetheless eager and willing to learn the oral mechanics of making cocks feel good. As she fervently licked and kissed and sucked, she felt the shaft in her mouth swell. When the cock was hard enough, this girl deep-throated the entire tasty, cunt-pleasuring instrument.
“Let me have some of that!” Giva demanded. Smacking her sister’s ass, she pushed her aside and began sucking her dad’s cock with the same eager zeal to learn the skills of cocksucking.
Holie carefully watched her father’s face. Yes, he was about ready. “Quit it, Giva!” the girl ordered. “Dad is hard enough now and he is about ready to cum again. I want his cock inside my pussy when he does!”
Following the pattern set by her sister, Holie straddled her dad’s legs and sat on his now stiffened cockshaft. So energized and excited was this horny girl that she barely felt the pain when the rigid rod pierced her virginal hymen.
Holie was right about her father. He was ready to cum. With a tight, wet, young pussy wrapped around his cock and the memories of sweet lips sucking him, Jack began cumming. His fingernails dug into the tender flesh of his daughter’s ass and he held on while she fucked him like crazy.
Miss Holie Schitt had waited nearly 16 years to get a cock inside her hot pussy. Now that she had one in there she was going to ride it until the bells of heaven rang. Those bells started chiming before she was ready. The semen-shooting penile pole buried deep inside her, spurred her fuck-hungry pussy to release its own cummy fluids.
Once again, cock and cunt cum mixed in a euphoric blend of orgasmic cheer. Holie squealed in delight. Jack bellowed and grunted like a bull of the woods at mating time. This father and another daughter thrilled to the joys of carnal bliss.
Jack and his twin daughters slept nude in the bed he once shared with their mother. When the morning sun came up, this father fucked the two Sweet Sixteen year old ladies on their birthday.
Holie and Giva’s birthday party was held at their mother’s birthplace dairy farm home. Sometime during the evening’s festivities, Noe Schitt Sherlock took her ex-husband’s hand and sneaked off with him to her girlhood bedroom. This cheating woman screwed her secret lover’s brains out.
After their impassioned lovemaking, Noe imparted some information. “Jack, your 14-year-old son Bull has been spending a lot of time out here on the farm lately,” she said. “He couldn’t explain why and neither could Mom or Dad. I found out ‘why’ yesterday. I drove out without calling. Dad was in the barn so I came in the house to see Mom. I heard a screaming upstairs, so I rain up to check on Mom.”
Noe took a breath, then continued. “Oh Jack,” she said. “Mom was lying flat on her back in her bed naked as a jaybird! Bull was in his birthday suit, too! Your son was atop Mom and he was fucking her! Mom was screaming, ‘Come on Big Boy and give your granny’s pussy all of that Big Bull cock of yours!’ Jack, Mom was making my son fuck her! What should we do about it?”
“My son, your son, Noe, the boy is ‘our’ son,” Jack answered. “And from the way you have told it, I don’t believe Bull was being forced to do anything he didn’t want to do. With your father’s prostrate operation leaving him impotent, I don’t believe you can blame your mother for getting laid any way she can. In case you haven’t noticed, our young son is hung like a horse. Young men who have been introduced to sex by older women can become some of the best lovers any woman could want!”
Noe was still bothered by the subject, but the logic made some sense. “Oh, shut up,” she said in mock anger. “Jack, speaking of being hung, fuck me again before we rejoin the party!”
A few days after their party, Holie and Giva moved in to help ‘take care’ of their dad. Jack gave up on some of his womanizing ways. With two hot-pussied teen girls at home and a hot-to-trot ex-wife this man had just about all the pussy he needed.
As the years passed, Jack did insist that Holie and Giva get boyfriends in order to avoid suspicion about their incestuous relationships. The girls found a set of twin brothers with the name of Jim and John Happens.
Surprisingly, the girls eventually grew really fond of their twin boyfriends. When they decided to marry, both young women promised their dad that he could still fuck them anytime he wanted to. In fact, they insisted he do it a least once or twice a week.
Holie and Giva Schitt subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Happens men were tree-hugging, animal-loving guys so they insisted their kids be named after animals. Because of a question of uncertain paternity, Holie and Giva demanded their offspring carry the middle name of their own father. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, Cat, and Horse.
While Holie and Giva were nursing their babies, Jack finally got himself a taste of their creamy breast milk. The father of these mothers drank so much of their wholesome titmilk fluids it was a wonder any remained to feed the babies.
Jack and Noe’s youngest children were secretly courting a couple of their cousins on the Schitt side of the family. Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout who was about as smart as a pet rock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Noe had never fallen out of love with her first husband, Jack. This married woman was spending more time in his bed than she was in the bed of her husband. The Ted and Noe-Schitt-Sherlock marital union failed.
When Noe announced her intentions to divorce Ted and remarry Jack, the shit hit the fan for sure. Confronted by an irate husband, Jack responded vehemently, “Tough shit Sherlock, you stole her from me, now I’m stealing her back!”
After a fuck-filled second honeymoon, Jack and Noe Schitt resumed a life of marital bliss. In addition to loving each other, they found happiness with their kids and grandchildren.
Little Byrd Schitt-Happens became the apple of Grandpa Jack’s eye. The girl’s precocious youth and happy-go-lucky demeanor endeared her to her granddad. Every chance she could get, the sweet child would climb into her grandfather’s lap and cuddle.
In spite of his better senses, Jack couldn’t help but study this precious child’s prepubescent body when she sat in his lap wearing only a tee-top and panties. Alabaster skin and curly blonde hair framed an angelic sweet face. Skinny, short, barefooted legs stretched out seductively.
Little Byrd never objected when her granddad ran his hands over her silky soft legs. She never squirmed or attempted to wiggle away when his hands strayed up under her top and massaged her itty-bitty titties. The girl made no protests if a hand slipped into the waistband of her panties and gently played with her velvety little pussy.
“Pappy,” Byrd would often secretly whisper. “You make my wee-wee feel really good! Is it time for me to make your pee-pee feel good, too? I know you like it when I make you shoot that gooey white stuff out. Don’t you?”
Yes he did, but he wasn’t about to say so aloud. Over and over again, Jack would tell himself about how much he wanted his stiffened cock inside sweet little Byrd’s pussy. Maybe he had better give her another year or two to put some more meat on her slender bones. Hell, maybe he wouldn’t wait at all; she was meaty enough already!
Just to prove his point, Jack pulled his cuddling granddaughter’s skimpy tee-top over her head and slid her panties over her sweet little ass and feet. When Byrd lay back in her granddad’s lap, he played with her chest and he merrily massaged her pussy. Yep, she had meat aplenty to play with!
As Byrd’s groping hands released the swollen cock imprisoned inside Grandpa Jack’s pants, another skimpily-clad young granddaughter appeared in the room. “Can I play, too?” Cat Schitt-Happens begged. Stripping her clothing off, she added, “Byrd, let’s take Pappy to the bedroom we share. Come on Pappy, let’s play! I’m ready to purr! Hey Pap, did you know I’m beginning to grow hair…down there…now?”
“Nope, I didn’t know it babydoll, but I can see it now,” Jack answered while fondling the girl’s pretty preteen pussy. “I suppose I will have to call you PussyCat now! Come on girls, let’s go play!”
Overall, Jack Schitt was a decent, upstanding pillar of the community whom anyone would be proud to call ‘friend’. But, when it came to pussy, Jack could become a whoremongering, cunt-loving son-of-a-bitch who would screw any female with a crack and a hole between her legs!
And folks, that ain’t SHIT!!! If you think it is; then you don’t know Jack Schitt!!!