A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on. One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love, and saw that he was using a dildo on her.
She says, "Honey, how could you do this? All this time you've never told me! Explain yourself immediately!!"
The husband says, "Okay, I'll explain. But first you explain the kids."