As with any relationship, there are times that are difficult. So it is here.
Lani opened the door and shouted, “I’m home.” I stood and laughed as she walked toward me. We embraced and kissed. “How’s my favorite student?” I asked, still holding her in my arms. “Your favorite student is excited that you’re here. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here when you arrived. I was in a planning meeting about the concert tonight.” One of the events was a concert at the sports arena. What was considered to be a top performer among the college crowd was performing. Lani was involved with the planning. “And we have great seats, by the way.” She busied herself with putting away books. I followed her into the bedroom. “Have you had a good afternoon?” she asked. Hoping I would be able to avoid any details I replied, “Yes. Monica came in but left again. Said she had a date.” Lani laughed. “Hmm. Did she seduce you?” I am sure Lani noticed the odd look and the flush on my face. “Well, let’s say it was an interesting conversation,” I said. Again, Lani laughed. “So, what about dinner? Every restaurant around campus will be crowded.” We sat on the sofa. I hoped the scent of Monica’s sexual juices were not lingering. “Whatever you want to do is fine with me,” I said as I held Lani’s hand. She thought for a minute. There is a small but nice Italian place I know. I’ve been there a couple of times.” We agreed on this and left the apartment. I drove as Lani chatted about the arrangements for the weekend. The concert would be later. The following morning were various events on campus–everything from poetry readings to frisbee football. The football game with a neighboring state rival would begin at two o’clock. All through our meal Lani talked about her classes and her professors. Her eyes sparkled as she went on about life on the university campus. “Geoff, I’ve been asked out?” She said this with some hesitation. “Oh,” I replied. “And?” She reached across the table to take my hand. “I just wanted to know if it’s okay for me to date?” I smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. “Lani, I’m not your parent. Besides, you are your own person. You don’t have to ask permission to date.” She seemed relieved at my response. We finished our meal and made our way to the concert.
I remember attending concerts when I was at the university. They were never like this one. The speakers were blasting. The students were yelling, clapping, waving arms in the air. It was obvious that alcohol and marijuana were present. It was a wild time and I felt very much out of place. Lani had us seats near the front. We tried to talk to each other occasionally but the booming from the speakers made it impossible to hear. For two hours we mostly stood. When it was over, we made our way through the crowds. We had parked at her apartment and walked to the arena. The walk back was refreshing. The cool night air and the quietness of the evening was a relief from the stuffiness of the crowds at the concert. Lani hooked her arm into mine. “How about some coffee?” I agreed and we made our way to a campus building where a coffee house atmosphere reminded me of the “old days.” I expected to hear Peter, Paul, and Mary or Bob Dillon music playing. We did not talk as much. It was nice to be with Lani again. She would look at me and smile. These weeks at the university made her seem older. Maybe it was knowing that she was more than a Freshman. She had taken AP classes her senior year of high school. Credit wise she was actually into her second semester. As I looked at her I could still see that little twelve year old girl with mud all over her school outfit crying in my arms. That image also brought a back the feelings I had when she wanted me to help her shower. She had the body of a twelve year old then. Now, she had the body of a young woman. It was a body she had freely shared with me through the years. Now, she was almost eighteen. “She’ll be legal,” was the thought that passed quickly through my mind. “You seem deep in thought,” I heard her say, bringing me back to the moment. I smiled. “I guess I was lost in the past,” I replied. We finished our coffee and made our way to the apartment. Monica was not there. Lani put on a cd of a bit more relaxing music than that which had bombarded our ears earlier. I sat on the sofa and she curled up beside me. She laid her head on my shoulder as I placed my arm around her. She breathed out, “It’s nice to have you here. I like school but I miss being at home, too.” I decided to mention what I had been thinking about for some weeks. “Lani, what are your thoughts about selling our houses.” She looked up at me. “Where would we live?” Although she stayed with me when she was home for a weekend, her house was next door. I often saw her looking out the window at it. This was the home she and her mom had lived in. There were good memories associated with it. “Do you think we should?” she asked after a pause. “I don’t know that we should sell, but I was thinking about it.” We both turned so we could actually look face-to-face. “I guess what I’m asking is this.” I hesitated but felt this was the right time. “Do you think you will want to have a place of your own, now or in the future, like when you finish your studies and are ready to have a real life?” She had a puzzled look on her face. “Do you mean, will there come a time when I will not live with you?” I nodded. “Yes. I am assuming that you’ll meet some young man and you’ll fall in love and have a life.” Her countenance fell. “But, Geoff, you are my family. I guess I never really thought of you any other way. I can’t imagine living with anyone else.” There was a silence. “Well, let me share my thoughts,” I finally said. “I agree we are family-more than family. But, you are here at school, and I was thinking that if you wanted to sell your house we could put it on the market. And, if I sold my house, then we could find a place, just one house. Then, in the future, if you wanted a place of your own, in some other city, you would be free to find a house.” I paused to see if there was any reaction. “And, I was thinking about somewhere either closer to here or a place you could come on the weekends where you could relax.” We discussed the various issues related to selling our homes. In the end, we agreed to test the market. I would contact a realtor and list her house. Depending on the response, I would put mine up for sale as well.
After we came to an agreement about a course of action, Lani stretched and said, “I think I’ll take a shower.” She stood and turned toward me. “You’ve seen my shower. There’s no room for two in there. But you can keep me company if you want.” I smiled and stood. “Yeah, I showered earlier.” I didn’t need to explain the reason was to get Monica’s scent off my face and body. Lani closed the door to her room and began to undress. She looked at me. “You know, you can have the shower after me.” She pointed to my clothes. “I assume you’ll be taking those off.” Again, I laughed as I unbuttoned my shirt. She stood before me, her body in all its beauty, naked and tanned. I undressed and followed her into the bathroom. She adjusted the water and stepped into the small shower stall. We chatted as she lathered her body. My cock stirred as I watched through the opaque glass. I was not expecting anything sexual since Monica was sharing the apartment. Lani finished her shower, stepped out, and took the towel I handed to her. As I stepped into the shower she gave me a pat on the ass. “Looking good, there,” she said. I completed my shower, dried off, and walked into an empty bedroom. I heard voices so I slipped on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before going into the living area. Lani and Monica were talking while Lani was laying out a pillow, a sheet, and a light blanket. I greeted Monica, who winked at me. “Not much of a guest bed is it?” she said with a smile as she walked to her room and closed the door. Lani took my hand and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m sorry it’s not more.” I turned to her and drew her into my arms. “Hey, I’m here with you. That is most important to me.” I hugged her. “Besides, after the evening I’ve had, I’m worn out. I think I could sleep on the floor.” We kissed and she went to her room, closing the door. I sighed to myself as she walked away. “I’m gonna’ miss feeling her next to me,” I thought to myself. I crawled between the sides of the folded sheet, threw the blanket over my legs, and fluffed my pillow before turning out the light on the side table. I think I was asleep in a matter of minutes.
What I thought was a part of my dream was actually someone touching my shoulder. “Geoff, Geoff,” I heard a whispered voice say. I managed to open my eyes. By the light from outside looked up to see Lani leaning over me. “Am I snoring too loud?” I asked. “Shhh. No” She whispered. “I want you to come to my bed.” I looked at her. “Are you sure? What about Monica?” Lani pulled me by the hand. “She’s asleep. With what she had tonight she might sleep all day tomorrow,” she answered softly. Lani led me into her room, closed the door, and slipped off the robe she was wearing. She was naked. I took off the sweat shorts and t-shirt I had on and crawled into bed with her. She immediately cuddled up to me as I put my arm under her head. We both moaned, causing us to laugh quietly. Lani reached up and kissed me on the lips. “Where have you been, Mr. Randall? I’ve missed you.” We kissed and she cuddled even closer, putting her left leg over my thighs. We were quiet for a while before she said, “Geoff, are you sure it’s okay if I go out with other men?” I knew what I was feeling but I knew I had no right to feel it. “Do you think we’re going steady?” I tried to say it in a way that would bring a little levity. She punched my side. “I’m laying here naked in the bed with the only man I have made love to. I’d say we are pretty steady.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead. I turned and propped myself up on my left elbow so I could face her. Through the dimness I looked into her eyes. “Lani, what do you want to do? You have your life here. It is a life that I am not really a part of. You have a future.” I paused. “I love you, you know that. But I do not have a right to make a claim on you in that way. I want you to be happy. I want you to find the kind of love you need to have with a man who can love you as you deserve.” She reached up and put her hand to my face as I continued. “Let’s be honest. My age and your age pretty much dictate that we will never be married. If I were thirty years younger, I would have asked you already.” She looked at me, a tear rolled down her cheek. “Oh, my sweet man. If I were thirty years older, I would have asked you.” I rolled to her and we embraced for a long time. No words were spoken. Our relationship could not be described with words. We understood that there were limits to what the future would allow. But we also knew the boundaries that had been crossed for the past six years. We needed each other and there was a commitment to each other that went beyond any friendship and might well be as strong as marriage. My life with Lani had been good. What the future would bring could not be known. She pulled away enough to look at me. “Let’s just seize the moment and make the most of it,” she whispered.
Through our years we have shared many kisses. Some were quick pecks on the lips. Others were soft, lingering kisses. Others were passionate kisses with tongues dancing and our bodies intertwined is sexual ecstasy. But on this night, our kiss was different. There was passion but it was different somehow. I felt her lips press against mine gently. She touched my face and I caressed her back. At that moment, we both had a need. We both wanted to express to the other what we felt. This was not having sex, even though it has been weeks since we were together. Tonight was about love–a love that transcended the traditions of romance or marriage. I had lost Emma. Lani had lost her mother. Even though I had children and grandchildren, Lani had become the one person in my life who knew me better than any other person. What we expressed that night was the deep, heartfelt care we had for each other. We kissed. I caressed her soft, smooth skin. My right hand slowly moved down her torso. As I reached her waist, Lani pulled back from me and spread her legs to allow my fingers to glide down her side, down her thigh, and move between her legs. As I cupped her lips, I could feel the moisture. I moved my hand back and forth very softly, feeling the swelling of her labia. I inserted my middle finger between them as I continued to move my hand. I pushed the tip my finger into her and was welcomed by her warmth and wetness. She slowly moved her hand down to my already hard cock and stroked ever so gently. There was no rush, just the slow movements of wanting to express physically what words could not. Lani laid over on her back as I rolled onto her. She spread her legs, bent her knees, and raised her hips as she guided me into her. There was no thrust. I slowly inched my cock into her warmth. She moaned softly. I pushed in all the way, slowly drew out, and pushed in again. Her legs were around my hips, her arms around my neck. I lifted my head up so we could look into each others eyes. Then, we laid completely still. I was not moving in or out. We were coupled together, feeling total acceptance of one another. We were one person, one heart, one life at that moment. We smiled. We touched lips. We breathed together. At that moment, there were no other people in the world. Just Lani and me. “I love you, Geoff,” she said softly. “I love you, Lani,” I whispered to her. I don’t know how long we remained in this position. I stayed very hard, which surprised me with no movement. She was so warm. She would contract her vaginal muscles and I could feel them tighten around me. After a bit, I began to move again. She would bring her hips up to meet me as I moved downward. But we moved very slowly. The sensation on my cock was unbelievable. “I can feel every centimeter of my cock,” I told her. She smiled, “I know. I can feel every nerve inside me.” We continued to move this way, almost like dancing slowly. But even with this slow movement, the nerves were stimulated. She moaned and I pushed all the way in, my pelvic bone sliding over her clit. Her speed of her breathing increased even though the speed of our movements did not. The glands of my cock felt as though light electric charges were shooting through it. Although I did not increase my speed as I moved in and out, I pushed harder and deeper. She responded by pushing up against me harder. What was building had to find release. Lani looked into my eyes and nodded her head. I smiled at her and pushed against her clit, moving back and forth. Her body began to shack, her eyes closed. She opened her mouth and breathed rapid, short breaths. Her pussy muscles tightened as waves of spasms swept through her lower abdomen. The sensation of feeling her cum put be me over the edge. I felt the wetness engulf my cock and I moved out and in slowly. The surge began and rose from down in my scrotum. The first spasm pushed the warm semen up and out. Because of the slowness of my movement, I could feel the spurt leave the head of my cock. Then another and another. I wanted to moan louder than I knew I could. I think having to restrict my oral response intensified the sensation of the orgasm. Lani continued to push up, breathing quickly. As my orgasm receded in strength, I continued to move slowly. Lani did not have a chance to recover. As I pushed into her clit again and again, rocking back and forth, she began to shake a second time. I held her tightly, barely moving just enough to press and rub against her clit. As the spasms slowed, she pulled my body to hers. We stayed in each others arms for what seemed like hours. Even though my cock was limp, I was able to remain inside her. I could feel the warmth of her pussy. I had no doubts that her juices and my cum were leaking out around my flaccid member. Lani and I did not speak. We kissed softly. When I rolled off of her, she turned with me, laying her left leg over my thigh. I limp cock resting on her inner right leg. “Do you want a cloth?” I whispered. She slowly shook her head. “No, I just want you here with me.” We closed our eyes, laying with each other, no longer connected physically. Emotionally we were together. We had expressed what we felt in a way that no words of any language could define. This dear young woman filled my life with a love that I never felt with my wonderful wife. What I had with Lani was not necessarily better, nor stronger. It was just different. She added to my life what I needed at that moment. She was the one person that I could express my care for. What made it so special is that she seemed to desire the same for me. How I loved my life with Lani.
I realized I was awake. I didn’t want to open my eyes as I tried to remember where I was. I could feel her body next to me. I was laying on my left side. As I opened my eyes I looked into beautiful blue eyes that were looking at me. “Good morning,” Lani said softly. “Good morning,” I responded, sounding more like a groan than a greeting. “You slept hard,” she said. I reached down and felt of my cock. “I doubt that,” I said with a sleepy smile. “You’re better than any sleeping pill.” Lani kissed me. “Well, it’s nice to be good for something.” I put my arm around her and pulled her to me. We kissed quickly. “I need to shower,” she said. “Yeah, me too.” We crawled out of bed. Lani went into the bathroom, closing the door. After the toilet flushed she opened the door and went to the shower. “Hey, don’t I get a turn?” She closed the door to the shower. “Go ahead, I can’t see anything.” So I stood over the toilet and peed. She called out from the shower, “Don’t forget to put the seat down.” She laughed as the water washed over her. I finished my shower and dressed in jeans and a pull-over sweater. Lani also had on jeans and a sweatshirt with a university symbol. She went to the bedroom and came back carrying another sweatshirt. She tossed it to me. “Wear this. We have to support the team today.” I quickly changed and we prepared and ate breakfast. I had no idea if Monica was in her room or not. We cleaned up our dishes and left the apartment. We spent the rest of the morning walking around campus, looking at various events and activities. We ate lunch at the student union building with the crowds of students and some parents. We were approached by one student. Lani introduced me to Stephanie. “Steph, this is...” Suddenly she was lost for words. “This is Geoff.” After her friend left I laughed at Lani. “Forgot my name already.” She punched me. I just realized that I don’t know what to call you. And I don’t mean your name. I wanted to tell Steph how we are related.” I thought for a minute. “You got me there. It would be a bit strange to say I’m your guardian. I’m not your parent. I don’t think lover really fits the bill.” She thought. “I guess I could say you are my best friend.” She frowned. “That doesn’t do it either.” She paused. “I was thinking of saying you my Dad, but that doesn’t seem right either.” I hugged her. “Maybe just Geoff, your neighbor, would be more appropriate for here.” She shrugged and said “Okay, but if I can think of something better I will.”
The football game was fun. I forgot how much I enjoyed college ball. The crowds kept up the constant roar. The home team won so that put every one in a good mood. Lani introduced me to several friends as her neighbor who she invited to the game. I think it bothered her that she could not tell them the truth, but I’m not sure what the truth was. Although we made love, we were not lovers in the sense that the term is used. Neither of us had the slightest notion that our relationship would lead to marriage. What we shared was more than friendship. We managed to make it through the afternoon. We decided to order pizza for supper. We watched a movie on dvd and ate. Monica came in for a few minutes then left again. She looked at us a bit odd as we sat on the sofa as close as we were. She informed us that she would be out late if not all night. As soon as she was out the door, Lani cuddled up to me. I put my arm around her. She dozed off for a bit as I watched the movie. We were comfortable with each other. When she woke up she looked at the clock and stated she was going to shower and go to bed. “I’ll make up the sofa while you shower,” I told her. She took my hand. “No need. You have a place to sleep.” The surprise on my face showed. “Don’t worry about her. She’ll be so stoned or drunk when she comes in she won’t know the if you are here or not.” She kissed me. “Besides, I really don’t care what she knows or thinks she knows. What I know is that I want to be with you tonight.” We headed for the bedroom and took turns showering. We got into bed and laid together. We held each other as we went to sleep. The next morning, we were up and dressed. There was no sign of Monica. I packed and left for home right after lunch. Lani said she had some work to do for a course and would be in the library the rest of the day. We kissed and shared our good the weekend was. I assured Lani I would check out the housing market. I promised to call when I later that night. I noticed her eyes were moist as I got into my car and drove away. As a matter of fact, I noticed that mine were a bit moist as well.
The following week I contacted Audrey’s law firm and talked to the lawyer that had drawn up her will and guardian documents. He assured me that selling the house would be okay. Two days later, before I had time to contact a realtor, he called. There was a new associate in the office. He was newly married and he and his wife were looking for a house. He asked if they could come out and look at Lani’s. We arranged a time. As I showed them through it I explained that Lani did not spend much time at the house since she was in school. I told them we would make sure the house was cleaned and the furnishing removed. I allowed them to look around and discuss the house, telling them I would be next door. The doorbell rang after about 30 minutes. They had a legal pad with what looked like figures and drawings on it. I offered them a cup of coffee and we sat around my kitchen table. They had decided to make an offer. They asked for a carpet allowance for the bedrooms and hallway. I agreed that it would need replacing. Other than that stipulation, they were willing to purchase the house. But, then they added this. As a separate deal, they wanted to know if we would consider selling them the furniture. They wanted all the pieces except in the master bedroom. Since they were newly married they had very little and certainly would not be able to furnish a house that large. Audrey had excellent taste and had furnished the house well. They were delighted at the price I quoted. I told them I would see that anything they did not want would be removed and any clothing or other personal items Lani could take care of. That night I called Lani. She was excited and sad at the same time. I understood her emotions. She said she would arrange to come for a weekend and we could go through the house and clear out any items she wanted to keep. What the couple did not want could be given to Goodwill.
In six weeks we completed the closing. I had already spoken to a realtor. My house was on the market and there had been several potential buyers come by with their agents. Within two months my house sold. Now, Lani and I had to find a place to live. We decided that somewhere just out of the city where the university was located would be ideal. There was a large backwater lake within a thirty minute drive of the campus. Although the properties were pricey, Lani insisted that we combine the sale price of our two houses, add what needed to be added, and find a lake house. We had opportunity to look at several. We finally decided on one and made an offer. There was a counter offer but the price was agreeable with a few allowances for fixing up and new flooring. The best part of this was that before the closing, Lani would turn eighteen. She would be able to sign for herself.
Lani’s birthday was on a Thursday so we agreed that Friday night would be the best time to celebrate. Behind her back, I managed to get in touch with one of her friends who worked with me to put together a surprise party for Lani. I booked a private room and a nice restaurant. I picked Lani up and told her we were going for a nice quiet dinner. She was in shock when we were ushered into the room. She punched me in the gut and said, “I’ll get you for this.” But the evening was great and we enjoyed ourselves. I felt a bit out of place with all the college age there. I met the young man who had asked her out several times. He seemed nice enough and showed no signs of suspicion about my relationship with Lani. She told him I had been her guardian after her mother’s death. I had rented an apartment in the city while we were waiting for the closing of our lake house. I had planned that we would return there that night after the party. Lani approached me as guests were leaving. “Geoff, some of these guys want me to go out for a while with them.” She was asking for my permission and also wanting to see my reaction. I had to mask my feelings as I said, “Sure, just be careful. And please do not ride with anyone who is drinking.” She smiled and kissed me on the cheek. I drove to the apartment alone, watched tv, showered, and went to bed. I do not know when Lani came in. I woke up during the night and she was in bed with me. The next morning I let her sleep as I got up and brewed coffee. I was sipping on my mug when she came into the room in her robe. She sat down beside me and laid her head on my shoulder. She was very quiet. I think she was waiting for me to say something. “Have a good time?” She nodded, “I guess.” I looked down at her. “You don’t sound so sure.” She looked at me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone. You went to all that trouble to arrange a surprise party and I abandoned you.” I kissed her forehead. “You needed to be with your friends last night. You only turn eighteen once. I was okay.” She laid her head back down as I sipped my coffee. Within a few minutes she was crying. I sat down my mug and turned to her, holding her by the shoulders. “Lani, what’s wrong?” She was sobbing and refused to look at me. I pulled her into my chest as she continued to cry–which she did for about five minutes. When her sobbing slowed and she was able to catch her breath, I put my hand to her face and kissed the top of her head. “I know you are not all right. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” She shook her head. I held her for a while. Finally, she got up and went into the bathroom. I heard her blow her nose and then water running. She returned with a towel, wiping her face and dabbing her eyes.
She sat down so she could turn and look at me. “Geoff, I’m sorry. I drank too much last night after I left the party. We went to one of the frat houses.” I watched as she wiped her eyes. She lowered her head and spoke just above a whisper. “I had sex last night.” She began crying again, her shoulders shaking with the sobs. I wanted to reach out for her but she seemed to want her distance at that moment. She cried for several minutes before she would talk. I was glad she did not look at me for I think the expression on my face would have hurt her. My heart was pounding. I know I was flushed. I don’t know if I was angry or hurt or both. “I was taken upstairs by the guy I dated several times. We never did anything before. But I allowed him to screw me.” Her sobs continued and I sat in silence. Finally, she was able to say, “I”m sorry. I will not ask you to forgive me.” She stood, walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. I sat on the sofa trying to sort out my feelings. I know I had no right to claim her for my own. I could go to prison for years for having sexual contact with her since she was twelve years old. She was her own person. She had her own life. I had my own life. And yet, so much of my life for the past years had revolved around Lani. I was hurt. I was angry. I felt betrayed. At the same time I would will myself to forgive her and release her from any bond she had with me. I was not sure what to say to her, what words to use. I rose from the sofa and walked out the door. I spent the next hour walking up and down the streets near the apartment. I still cared for her. I wanted to be with her. But I also needed to give my emotions some time to settle down. I knew she did not have to tell me. Then I felt guilt because she had. For I had made love with her mother several times. I even had sex with her roommate. I was in no position to judge here. All these thoughts filled my head as I walked. I looked up and found that I was standing in front of our building. I went up to our floor and into the apartment. Lani was sitting on the sofa. She was dressed in jeans and a shirt. She looked at me when I walked in. Her eyes were swollen and red. A pile of tissues lay on the floor. I walked over and sat down on the other end of the sofa. I looked at her. “Lani, I will not tell you that I’m okay, but I will tell you that I will be. You said that you could not ask for my forgiveness, but I give it to you. I have no right to withhold my forgiveness. I love you. This does not change that.” I’ve had time to walk and think. I guess I have to be honest and say I am disappointed. But I think what hurts me the most is how it happened for you.” She looked at me as I spoke. “I guess I have always known that you would meet some young man and fall in love. I not only expect it; I was hoping that you would have someone to care for you and love you as much as you deserve. What I am most disappointed is that you put yourself in a situation where you could have been hurt. You were in a situation where you had sex but not love.” She nodded. “I felt nothing,” she whispered. “When he was done, he stood, pulled his pants up, and walked out.” She began to cry again. “I got to a bathroom and cleaned myself. I asked a friend to bring me here. You were asleep so I showered and tried to get clean.” She began sobbing. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she said between her sobs. I slid over to her and opened my arms. She fell into them as I embraced her. She cried hard for a while. I continued to hold her when she had no tears left. We sat on the sofa for over an hour. We did not speak. I held her. For that moment she was that twelve year old girl again. My life with Lani began with her tears. On that day, I held her again as tears of pain fell. “I love you, Lani. Don’t ever forget that.”
The closing on the lake house was three weeks later. We brought some of my furniture and she put her mother’s bedroom suite in one of the larger bedrooms. We shopped for a new suite for what was referred to as “our room.” We decided to furnish the large living area and kitchen but we would wait and buy items for the rest of the house as we saw what we liked. There were four bedrooms, three full baths and on half-bath. The house had a large room with an open kitchen and eating area. The screened porch ran along the lake side of the house. The upstairs bedrooms, which included the master bedroom opened onto a deck that looked out over the water. Physically, we moved in and tried to settle down to a routine. Emotionally we were somewhat unsettled. Lani continued to sleep with me and we continued to sleep nude. She would cuddle against me and I would hold her. We shared a goodnight kiss but we were not sexual in any way. After we moved to the lake house, she even slept in her room on several nights. I heard her crying one night as I passed by the door. She continued with her course work and activities on campus. When things got hectic, she stayed at the campus with a friend. We talked, shared meals, laughed at tv programs. She would sit with me on the sofa but I could tell she still felt shame for what had happened. The weeks turned to months. The college year came to an end. She decided to take a summer course. I encouraged her to go out with friends which she did from time to time. I loved her and I know she loved me. Somehow we needed to get past the barrier of shame and guilt.
By the summer we had the house fully furnished. Our routine was established. As summer approached I spoke to Lani about inviting my family for the July fourth week. She thought that would be a good idea. We had all gotten together for Christmas and I thought this would be a good opportunity for us to gather again at our new house. I had purchased a pontoon boat since I had taken up fishing again. My son and daughter were excited about coming. The grandkids were excited about being able to swim and fish. Before they arrived we also bought a ski boat. I was looking forward to the family coming. The Spring semester ended for Lani and she had two weeks before her four-week summer session started. One morning I asked Lani about going out on the pontoon boat, having a picnic, and enjoying being outdoors. She agreed it would be a nice break. We packed a lunch, put on our swim suits, piled whatever gear we needed into the boat, and made our way across the water. It was a weekday so few boats were on the water. I assume Lani had on a bikini under her long t-shirt. She sat in one of the padded chairs as I steered the boat around the shore and toward a small island. She leaned up and pulled her shirt off, revealing a rather small bikini. She looked at me as I admired her body. She smiled, “I think you need to watch where you are going.” We both laughed. We arrived at the island and I pulled into what might be called a small cove. I tossed out the anchor and we both moved to chairs that were in the sun and not shaded by the canopy. I gave her a diet Pepsi and took one for myself. We sipped our sodas and enjoyed the peaceful setting. As we sat, Lani reached over and took my hand. “Geoff, you are a good man. I love you.” I looked at her. “I love you, too, sweetheart.” We held hands for awhile, all the time my thoughts were of how beautiful she was. I wanted to touch her, to hold her, to love her. I glanced at her. Her head was leaned back and her eyes were closed. As I stood, she looked at me. I stood, facing her. I leaned over, cupping her face in my hands. I kissed her softly on the lips. Without breaking our kiss, she stood. I wrapped my arms around her as she placed her arms around me. We kissed softly and gently at first. But the passion grew. She parted her lips further and I pushed my tongue into her mouth. She met it with hers. Our embrace was tightened. We broke the kiss and looked into each other’s eyes. “I want you,” she said. “I want you,” I replied. I looked around. There was no one in sight. I pulled a cushion from a bench down to the floor of the boat. We kneeled together and laid on the cushion. We kissed again as our passion grew. When our lips separated, Lani reached up and pulled her bikini strap over her head. She then reached behind her and loosened the back one. She tossed the bra aside and looked into my eyes. She smiled as she placed her hand behind my head and guided me to her breasts. I opened my mouth wide enough to cover her areola and then some. My tongue began to caress her nipple as I sucked as much of her breast as I could into my mouth. I was hungry for her. She began massaging her breast into my mouth, feeding me. I sucked harder and she moaned. “Oh, Geoff,” she sighed. “That feels so good.” I moved to the other breast. She massaged and I sucked. It seemed the harder I sucked the more she pushed my head into her breast. Her hips began to move. The feeling of her soft but firm breast was causing my cock to strain against my swimsuit. For several minutes I went from one breast to the other, sucking, teasing, caressing. She massaged, I sucked and licked. She eased the pressure on my head and I moved down her stomach. She reached down and untied the bow on the side strap of her bikini panty. She pulled it from under her and tossed it aside. I caressed her torso with my tongue as I made my way down. She spread her legs wide as I rolled between them. She bent her knees, allowing my shoulders to fit under the thighs. I attacked her pussy with my tongue. She was already wet, but as I began to lick, my saliva and her juices flooded over her lips. She tasted a little salty but still sweet. I lifted her hips and pushed my tongue inside her as deeply as I could. She was moving up and down as I pushed in to lap up her wetness. My mouth was buried between her swollen labia. I moved up to her clit, covering it with my mouth. She reached down and pushed my face into her. As I sucked her clit out from the cover of its hood, my tongue teased and licked over it. She lifted herself to me as she cried out. After a couple of minutes of sucking her clit and licking up and down her pussy, she moaned loudly, approaching orgasm. Placing her hands on either side of my head and pulled me up to her. My mouth was covered with her juices. She kissed my lips, then licked over them. “I want you in me,” she whispered. I managed to pull down my suit and kick it off my feet. I rose between her legs. We were looking at each other, eye-to-eye. I could see the passion in her face. There was almost a look of desperation. She lifted herself to receive my very erect cock. I guided myself into the opening of her love canal. As I pushed forward she rose up. I slid in slowly. She smiled and licked her lips. I pushed deeper and deeper, feeling every inch of my cock. My pubic bone pressed against her clit and she let out her breath. “Love me, my darling. Love me.” I began to move in and out. She met my thrusts as she pushed up, seeming anxious to have me impel her. She increased her speed as did I. We moaned together as our pace increased. “Oh, oh, oh,” she cried out. I could hear my thrusts sloshing in her juices. She let out a long, low moan as her vaginal muscles contracted. My cock was ramming into her as fast as I could move. She locked her legs around my waist and I pushed all the way in, feeling the tip of my cock pressing against the depth of her pussy. She shuddered as she pushed her head back, crying out to the sky. “Ahhhhhh.” She was almost yelling. Her tightened muscles were gripping me. Even as wet as she was, her tightness began to milk my balls. The pressure grew and the swell began to surge. I felt the warm liquid make its way up through my cock. There was what felt like an explosion from the tip as my semen began to spurt. I pushed deeper and harder as I shot stream after stream into her womb. Lani’s hips were rising falling, pulling herself into me as I filled her. Her spasms weakened and my semen was spent. I could feel the pulse of her muscles and my cock twitched when the sensitive head pushed against her cervix. I collapsed on top of her. Her legs slid away to beside mine. We were both breathing heavily. I rolled off of her onto the deck surface. She rolled toward me, laying her head on my chest. She reached down and began to stroke my cock which was covered with a mixture of our cum. I was becoming limp but she caressed me softly. As our breathing returned to normal and our hearts stopped racing, she lifted herself up and kissed me gently on the lips. “Thank you. I needed that.” I smiled and said. “Obviously we both did.” We laid arm in arm for a while. The boat gently rocked. After a while she peered above the walls of the pontoon. “Wonder if we have neighbors?” she said. Not seeing any sign of people, she stood. She reached down and pulled me up to join her. She looked down. Fluids were running down her leg. “Let’s wash,” she said as she opened the gate and made her way down the ladder into the water. “Oh, it’s cool,” she voiced as she lowered herself up to her neck. I followed her and we swam around for a bit. We hugged and kissed. She reached down and grabbed my cock. She went through a washing motion. I did the same to her pussy, pushing my finger up and moving it around. She giggled. We climbed back into the pontoon, dried ourselves. “I’m hungry,” I said as I made my way to the picnic basket. “Me too.” She laughed. “I really can’t think of a better way to work up an appetite.” We set up the table that came with the boat. We ate our lunch as we chatted about the lake and the beautiful houses. We heard the sound of a boat so we slipped our suits on. In a few minutes a ranger approached. “Hello on the pontoon,” he called out. Lani waved. The ranger slowed and reversed his motor, bringing him to a stop about ten feet from our boat. “Just checking to make sure you have life preservers.” I reached over to the bench and lifted two jackets. “Good,” he called out. “Enjoy your day on the lake.” He pushed the throttle on his boat and moved off toward a fishing boat that was on the far side of the lake. We lazed around the rest of the afternoon, swimming, snacking, and making out like a couple of teens. We made our way back toward the house. Lani steered the boat as I stood behind her. I massaged her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, as she leaned into my chest. “Geoff,” she said over the sound of the motor. I leaned forward. She turned and kissed me on the cheek. “I need you.” I placed my arms around her from behind and kissed her. “I need you, too, my sweet Lani.” We docked the boat, stowed gear, gathered our picnic supplies and the wet towels, and walked up the steps to the house. All the while I was saying to myself, “Life with Lani is what life ought to be.”