Gender: Male Age: 18 Location: N/A
|Introduction: Becareful who you fall in love with. That person might grow to either love you or hate you|
Author's Warning: This story is about 2 cousins, who throught pains are brought together and learn to strive throught it. Intially they begin as enmies, but eventually come to find true love, whether one of them is ready or not. This is a very long stry and most of it follows a plot. So if you're looking for hardcore sex, you got the wrong story dude. But if you want a story that leaves you satisfied...read onwards reader.......................Comments Are Appreciated!
P.S. My girlfriend helped me edit somethings..so kudos to her!!
As the middle child of the house, it naturally came down that I was to be everyone’s servant. They all made me run around all day, doing their chores, getting their laundry done, helping them in their work and even as to do their homework for them
The start of that day was during the early June time. In the dreary corner of the house, was the room that no one really wanted. In there, among the sheets, my naked body rubbing them, the moisture of my skin soft, I, Zoe, sleep. The room that I called mine was not my first, second or even third choice. It was forcibly given to me. My parents, formally known as Mr. And Mrs. Barker, had smiled at me, in a sort of painful way and had told me to take the room, despite my arguing that my sisters were getting the better one. ‘Do it for your family Zoe’ they had said, knowing very well that I’d put them ahead of anything. And so I ended up in the smallest room in the house.
Waking up, I looked around the room. Everything was as I had left it, which was a good sign, meaning that nobody had woken up yet. On any normal weekend, my younger sisters would sneak into her room and destroy everything before I wake up. Looking at the clock on the wall, it read 8am. Normally I would be happy and satisfied with most of the things in my life, but that day felt off to me. It felt like everything was going to change.
Getting out of her bed I looked outside my window. The only plus thing about my room was that my window was the only one to be pointed towards the backyard. Normally this would have been useless, being as there was nothing to look at, for our house backed into a park; I enjoyed it because I often liked to stare out into the setting sun. It was one of those things that just seemed to be a fulfilling experience.
Not wanting to roam the house alone, I sat down on her bed and picked up the book that I had been reading last night. Despite being only 14, I had the intellectual level to match my older sisters. I was not exactly a nerd, but I always did manage to score top marks in my class and had been the recipients of many scholarly awards. After a while of reading, I heard some noise and realized that it had already been about 2 hours since I had woken up and everyone was up by then. I decided to go down cauz mom would be making breakfast and I didn’t want to miss out, knowing very well that Leslie would eat my pancakes.
I jumped out of bed again and was about to open the door when I stopped to look at myself in the mirror. It was a habit of mine. I had always thought that I had looked perfectly well until my older sisters had reached puberty. They had both grown into tall, astonishing ladies. They both had 36D by the time they turned 14 and when I had hit that number, she still was a 32B. At that point I became much more aware of my body and it got even worse, because my friends and family constantly compared me to my sisters, them often being dubbed the ‘better’ ones and boys often teased me cause of that.
Looking in the mirror, I hoped that body would start to grow soon. I stood at about 5’3", with dark brown hair; and had kept it long, almost up till my waist. I was the only one in my family with dark brown hair, my mother and sisters all being stunning blondes.
Walking downstairs, I entered the kitchen and was immediately met with the aroma of pancakes. My mom, Susanne, knew how to make them perfectly and had always made them every weekend. A little info on my family: My dad, Bill, was a business man, who owned a company in the near town of Denver and had done quite well for himself, investing the originally small company from his father. His company had grown over the years and he now owned two plants of his company. He had met my mother Susanne in high school and they had been sweethearts. She was a very practical person, never wanting to stay at home and be a house wife, she had demanded that her husband allow her to work in his company and she held a job there as an executive. They had gotten married when they had graduated college at 22. And a year a couple of years later, their first daughter was born. They had named her Melanie. Another year later their second daughter Leslie had been born. And then next year came me, Zo?They had though about keeping the limit at that but then one drunken night had led to another pregnancy, which led to the birth of last pair of twin girls Rene and Chloe. That had been their bundle of kids and they loved us so. We had been living in a small apartment, when I had been born, but by the time the tins came around, they had decided that we needed a big house and since dad had been doing well at work, we could afford one. And so we moved across the town to a big house, which was cut off from the rest of the town, and had led to me being secluded into the smallest bedroom.
As soon as I crossed the kitchen door, I was pushed aside by Melanie. Melanie, the oldest, at 16 was an exact copy of my mother, right down to seductive voice. It was known in the entire family, a silent knowledge, that she was the most dominating one, as she had everything always the way she wanted. That didn’t mean that she was a cold mean bitch, even though she could be that at times to me, but I still loved her.
I ignored her sister and sat down at the table. On the each end of the table sat my parents and besides me sat Rene and Chloe. On the other side sat Melanie and Leslie and in the middle of them, right across from me, sat Sean. Sean was not a guest, not was he my sibling. He was her cousin/adopted brother. He had been living with us for almost a year now. The reason for his staying at our house was not often talked about by my parents, but from what I knew, both of Sean’s parents were dead and he had no other family. His mom had already died due to child birth, so he had always been with his dad. I had only had met once before, when I was 8, and hadn’t thought much of him. Eventually his dad died in a car accident and had he had no where left to go. My dad Bill and his father were brothers and since they could afford it, they adopted Sean, who since had been living at out residence. In the beginning he had been very quiet and didn’t talk much
We girls had often tried to get him to talk. Even though he was year younger than me, Melanie and Leslie treated him like friend and the rest tried hard too. Eventually he opened up more and soon he was an everyday part of our family. So as I looked at Sean, he smiled back at my. I, slightly turning red, twisted my head and ignored him.
I didn’t originally hate him or anything; it was just that, Sean had never really helped me out, though he had never ordered me around either. I felt that since he wasn’t truly a part of the family, he should be more grateful and help around more. Eventually this resentment of mine grew and after 11 months of living with him, I had come to despise him, though I myself did not understand why.
At 13, Sean stood at 5’6" and was very thin. He had jet black hair that he kept mildly short and beautiful dark brown eyes. That was the first thing I had noticed about him, his eyes, that looked liked they did not belong on this scrawny kid, but rather on a dashing movie star. He reminded me of a princess rather than a knight. Even at this stage of his life, whenever we were walking in the park, him always following me along, I had often noticed that girls used to look at him and whisper to themselves and a lot of girls his age had been quick to ask him on a ‘play-date’. Even when Melanie and Leslie’s friends came over, they often used to ask about him and I had even notice a couple of them try to hit on him. But Sean always use to make a sad or scared face and quickly approach me with some sort of distracting task to keep him away. Maybe that was another reason I had come to dislike my new ‘brother’.
‘Hey mom’ Melanie suddenly said, ‘some of my friends and I are going to the mall today. I saw this cute top that’d go great with my D&G glasses.’
Susanne frowned. ‘Honey, you know very well that your father has to go to San Jose’ today fro some urgent business and while he’s gone, I have to be at work to handle things at this end.’
‘I know mom, but pleaseeee. There’s a sale on that top, and it’s only gonna last today.’
Susanne sighed. ‘I guess. But this is the last time sweetie.’
I frowned. ‘Hey, no fair mom, you know my friends are coming over today and Melanie promised me that she’s stay home.’
At the Barker household, the number one rule was that if someone was to entertain guests, there had to be at least two people present in the house to make sure things stayed in control.
‘It’s not fair to me. Leslie is going to go stay over at her friend’s house and the twerps have their friends’ birthday party to attend.’ I sulked
‘Hey stop calling us twerps, Ms. Boobless.’ The twins taunted back.
Mom immediately slammed her fist down. Everyone got silent. ‘Okay everyone that’s enough. Rene, Chloe, first of all, don’t you ever call that sister again. Second of all, Zoe honey, I know this is wrong, but I remember that Melanie actually did inform me about this, 2 days ago, so it’s kinda my fault I guess. I know this is unfair but you have to cancel this. There’s no one to help you out.’
I felt like she was about to break down. ‘Why does this always happen to me?’ the thought pounded in my head, as I felt the first streaks of tears from on my eyes.
‘Umm. I’ll help sis out’
Every one looked across at Sean, who kind of reclined with all the eyes on him. ‘I-I said that if it’s not too much of a hassle, I help her out, by staying.’ He smiled nervously
‘But Sean, don’t you have a soccer game today?’ Susanne asked
‘Yea Aunt Susanne, but Zoe s being treated unfairly, so I think I’ll sit this one you for her.’ He smiled, rubbing the back of his head.’
‘Well isn’t this superb.’ Susanne smiled’ well there you go honey, problem solved.’
I felt confused. Sean had never helped me out and due to his shy nature I wondered how he could be a good host. But realizing that I had no choice, I sighed ‘Fine. I guess he can stay.’
Everyone resumed their breakfast, with mom & dad talking across the table, Mel and Leslie gossiping about the latest fashion, and the twins discussing a joke they had heard. I had been observing everyone, and I turned to look to Sean and I noticed that he was doing something weird. He was staring into his cereal, mixing it with his spoon, but his mind seemed some where else and from I thought I saw, he was slightly smiling, something I hadn’t seen him do much. Maybe he just really wanted to help me?
My friends came over around 3 pm. By then everyone had left already and Sean was in the den reading a book. As my friends started gathering, they all went down to the den. They all stopped in their tracks when they saw Sean. He was sitting on the sofa and he had headphones on so he couldn’t hear us, but I realized why they were looking at him. He looked gorgeous and I do mean that. The angle of the sunlight, made him look like he was glowing.
‘Hey who’s that cutie?’ my friend Andrea asked me.
Then it hit me. My friends had never met Sean. At school, though we went to the same one, I always ignored him. Everyday at school he tried to approach me, but I had always pretended I didn’t know who he was. And whenever they had come over before, he had always been out or had stayed up in his room. He was always the type to avoid company if possible and as far I knew he didn’t have any close friends and besides his soccer team, he had no social contact. He always seemed like a loner to me and that made me feel frustrated, because I always felt that people, especially girls, were attracted to him and he always turned the opportunity down. I had amused my self by wondering not when, but if, he was ever going to loose his virginity. That thought always amused me for some reason.
‘Umm, he’s my step-brother/cousin’ I answered quickly
‘Well whatever he is, he’s looks like he’s just waiting to be corrupted.’ All my friends giggled at that. ‘Zoe perhaps you might try to seduce him? God knows you never had a boy like you.’ Andrea snickered
‘Shut up’ I said back. The thought of seducing Sean angered me. ‘He’s younger than me and for your information, I don’t even like him that much and I have plenty of boys to choose from.’
The truth was that I have never even been looked at properly by a boy. It’s not that I look ugly, but just that I don’t present myself well enough. I don’t dress up too exposed or even in a way that might show off my features. The biggest problem was that I always thought my eyes were enchanting. They were green and with my brown hair, made them stand out. But God likes to play unfair, and my eyesight hadn’t been the best, leading me to wear these glasses, which made me look like a bookworm. Never had a boy ever asked me out, or even show any interest in me. My sisters were considered the beauty of the school and me the black sheep.
I had never even kissed a boy. And from what I knew, at least two of my friends had already lost their virginity and the rest of them had let their boyfriends touch their breast and play with their pussies. I had always wondered what it felt like to be touched by a boy and had often longed for those romantic feelings.
‘Well whatever.’ Andrea said.
We started hanging out by watching TV and we soon decided to go up to my room and talk about stuff; mostly boys. I just listened because I didn’t know any hot stuff going on in school. This whole activity went on and I soon started having fun. When night rolled around and no one had been back, I was starting to get worried. During this whole time, Sean had remained on that sofa, listening to the music and ignoring everything around him.
At 8 pm, when the house was still empty, Andrea stood up. She got everyone’s attention and announced. ‘Okay listen up everyone. I have little game we can play, Truth or Dare. But there being one condition. If one of you decides to not to accomplish the dare, we will hold you down, take some lewd photos of you and hand them out to the guys in class.’ She grinned.
I was appalled. ‘No way, Andrea that’s too much. There’s no way I’m gonna allow that to happen.’ I thought everyone would support me in this, but then everyone looked up at me and shouted to play. I couldn’t believe it. They were all willing to play. I was about to say that I wasn’t gonna play, when Andrea again announced ‘And if anyone, refuses to play, I’m gonna tell the kids at school about who you’ve had sex with. And in Zo?8217;s case who she wants to do it with.’ I was taken back. I knew that Andrea was capable of that and I realized that I had no choice but to play.
And so we played. Thankfully my turn didn’t come and as I watched the rest of the girls do their tasks, I wondered to myself if it may have been better to not have friends over at all. Just then I was snapped out of my thought by Andrea, who asked me to accompany her into the next room. As we went in there, she asked me in a low voice. ‘Listen Zoe, can you get your cousin to play with us.’
I looked at her like she was joking. ‘No way, first of all, he’s very shy so he won’t do it and second of all do you think I’m not gonna protect him from this sort of craziness?’
She looked at me slyly. ‘I you can get him to play, I’ll get Ryan to sit with us at lunch tomorrow.’
I was taken back. Ryan McCall was the guy who I had a crush on. He was in my math and science class and we sat across from each other. I had liked him since the 6th grade and up till now in Grade 8, he had never noticed me. I was seriously empted by this offer. ‘Are you sure? You Promise?’ I asked
‘Of course, I am your best friend right?’ she said
‘But why do you want him to play?’
‘Cauz, look at him, he’s sexy as hell and considering how horny these other girls are I am betting that someone will dare him to go make out with someone. And I‘m gonna take my chance then.’
I was amazed. She was being stupid of course, but no way in hell was I gonna let a chance pass by to sit with Ryan. ‘Okay’ I said to her. She winked at me.
I made my way to the sofa Sean was sitting on and stood in front of him. He stood still, ignoring me, which pissed me off. What? Was he too good to listen to me? But just as I was about to shake him violently, I realized that he had fallen asleep. I stepped back. He looked so calm, so pure. His face was unmoving and his lips were formed in an expressionless way. I came closer to him and saw that he looked...sad? I didn’t understand. he didn’t show any emotion but somehow I felt like he was being tortured. I felt the urgency to feel his lips and let him know that I was there. Suddenly I realized, my face was less than an inch away from him. I jumped back. What the hell is wrong with me? Why the hell was I gonna kiss this jerk? I immediately shook him, wanting to distract myself. He woke up, panicking.
‘Oh Zoe, what’s wrong?’ he asked, in a low voice.
‘Umm...listen can ya come play with us please?’ I asked sheepishly
He was taken back, ‘I, ah, I don’t know.’ He looked around.
I wasn’t gonna give up. Hanging out with Ryan was on the line. ‘Well, it’d be big help to me and I would really be glad. I am getting kinda bored and you said you’d help me.’ I looked at him with pleading eyes.
He tried to avoid my gaze. He looked nervously at the girls across the hall and seemed hesitant. Then he sighed. ‘Sure I’ll play for you.’
I jumped up. ‘Cool. Thanks’
I dragged him down to room and as soon as I entered, the room burst into whispers. Sean looked nervous and I even more so.
As the game resumed, all the girls kept choosing dare. It seemed that they all had the same plan as Andrea in their minds. Finally it came down Andrea. She picked dare and waited for the girl across her, Cassie, to tell her to kiss Sean. But Cassie instead said that Andrea be slapped by the girl beside her. Andrea was shocked and before she could say anything, she had already been hit. Her face turned red. Was it from the impact or from anger, I couldn’t guess.
Then the game resumed, with Andrea sulking. I was absent mindedly watching all the girls, noticing their sparkling eys and either lust & desire so strongly exposed in them, when I happen to look at Sean and he had been already looking at me. I suddenly blsued and looked away. What the hell was going on with me? It’s just Sean, why the hell was I so suddenly tensed?
Then all of the sudden, I heard a yelp and looked down at the bottle: It came my turn. Now I was worried because if I opted not to do it, I would have my nude pictures taken forcibly. So I chose dare and Andrea, who sat across from me snickered. ‘All right, I dare Zoe to go into a dark closet with Sean and stay in there for 15 minutes.’
I jumped up. ‘No way, that’s gross. He’s my bother Andrea. Tell them Sean.’ I looked at him
But Sean was obviously turning red and kept his mouth shut
‘Oh but Zoe, aren’t you the dirty minded one. I never exactly said what you guys had to do while being in there.’ She laughed. I felt my face burn red and realized the situation I had gotten myself into.
So the next thing I knew, Sean and I were being dragged and were thrown into the closet. When I heard the lock snap, I immediately started banging my hands on the door. ‘C’mon guys, this is not funny. Let us out!’ On the other side I heard Andrea’s voice ‘not until you make out’
‘But why, didn’t you want him to yourself?’ I asked confused
‘Of course, but since I didn’t, I made sure that he was locked in with only girl he wouldn’t do anything with. This way if I don’t get him, No one else will.’
Oh perfect. So she’s taking out her anger on me, I thought to myself. I decided that Andrea was right and that the best solution would be to just remain calm and spend 15 minutes with Sean in here. I moved back and looked around the closet. It was a 6 X 9 closet, so there wasn’t much space to sit, there was a small climbing stood, which I immediately occupied. But the wall was the sidewall so there was a small window on the top, bringing in light form the backyard, lighting the closet, slightly.
As we were both sitting, each on opposite sides, I was contemplating on how to spend the time, when Sean spoke. ‘Sorry Zoe, its cause of me that we’re in this situation.’
I looked at him angrily. ‘You’re damn right we are. If only you had refused, this wouldn’t be a big issue’
He timidly looked away. But then I calmed down and realized that he was probably regretting the situation as much as me. ‘But its okay I guess. What’s done is done. Let’s just pass the time.’
He looked up at me and smiled. Even in the dark, his brown eyes shone and I wondered to myself why he didn’t ever play them up.
‘Actually I’m glad to be here. At least this way we get to spend some time together. Cause it seems like, you always hate me or just don’t like me,’ he said. When I heard this from him, I felt that it was like I was so wrong in doing that.
‘Sean. Why are you so God damn na?? You’re so soft all the time. Be a man for once and just stand up for whatever you want.’ I felt myself get angry for some reason
He looked at me. In the mild darkness, a normally someone wouldn’t be able to see anyone’s face, but I could see his perception clearly. For the first time, I saw him look not scared, but serious. I was taken back. ‘Why do you ask? Is there any point really to convince people? I always try to be nice in hopes that once day they will realize their mistakes and then we can actually get along. Why do you think I follow you so much? Have you ever noticed?’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked
‘Do you realize that I’m always looking out for you? Today, for example, I had my game. My team depended on me, but for your sake I didn’t go and then get pushed into a closet. I am nice all the time, so that I don’t have to put up with the problems of dealing with them.’ He seemed to have gotten sad.
From that I truly understood, that he wasn’t really a scared person, but he was instead a sad person, who didn’t see any happiness. Perhaps it was the events of his life?
‘Sorry’ I said, ‘I guess I didn’t see that people beside me also have problems. I am sorry for never asking you about your day and your health, you know. I guess I was always pissed that you always got more attention than me, even while you were new to this house. I guess being the middle child does indeed suck.
He stood up and came by and sat beside me. ‘Look Zoe. I’m your friend here; I didn’t come here to be a burden on you. In fact quite the opposite, I thought that since I was living with you guys, I’d at least help you out as much as possible.’
I looked at him and smiled. I realized that I had been wrong about him. He wasn’t evil or selfish. He just didn’t know how to approach me. How to make friends with me I guess. ‘Well at least now we can start to become good friends.’
‘Yeah I’m glad. After all you’re the sweetest person in the house.’
‘What do you mean?’ No body had ever said that to me
‘Well its cause I guess that you work hard for everybody. You never complain. You always stand behind the scenes and let your sisters have fun, ready to sacrifice your happiness. They never say thank you and never really appreciate your kindness. You’re friends never realize that you’re not happy talking with them about boys all the time and they don’t try to get you involved with them as well, but you stay silent for their sake. You’re truly a beautiful girl, inside and out both.’
I was really surprised. No body had ever said that about me. More importantly he had noticed all these little things about me. He had always been watching, thankful, like no one else. He never made me feel lonely. That’s why he had always accompanied me when I went to parks, as now he was staying at home. I realized, that since he had been living with us, I had never been alone, whether at home or outside. He had always tried his best to accompany me at school so as to make sure that I didn’t feel left out among my friends. This guy, who could have hanged out with anyone, chose me over everyone.
I felt very emotional, and all of a sudden, not knowing why I reached forward and pulled him closer, hugging him. I didn’t know why, I just felt like pressing his body to mine and just feeling his arms around me. I feared that he would freak out and jump back, but he didn’t. Instead he relaxed and I felt him slowly breathe on my neck. That gave me shivers and my heart started thumping really fast. This was the first time I felt this way. I was confused, I don’t know why. All I knew was that, if Sean moved away from me, I would be heart broken.
Slowly I let him go. Once things seem to focus back, he said, ‘Thanks Zoe. I was wondering when you’d get past your thickheaded-ness and realize that I don’t want to hurt you. You know I’m actually glad that we got into this. I have something to tell you.’ He sighed.
‘Uncle Derek has offered me to come live with them.’
‘What? You mean Uncle Derek, who lives in England.’
‘Because as you know he and his wife don’t have any child of their own and he wants to adopt me. He promised my dad that if anything happened he would take care of me. Apparently he can now afford to.’
‘What did dad say about this?’
‘Well Uncle Bill said that it’s completely up to me. He said he can obviously afford to have me live here, but so can Uncle Derek and he might need me a lot too because he doesn’t’ have any children. I have to tell them my decision tonight. He’s been asking me about it for almost a week’
I couldn’t believe it, now that I was finally starting to understand him. He was going to leave. This was way too much to handle. ‘No you can’t. I mean what am I gonna do. You’re the only person who understands me. Please how can I let you go? I like you too much!’
I suddenly stopped in my tracks. He was looking at me, taken back. What had I said? I liked him??? Did I truly? Now that I think about it. It made sense. I had always been jealous when other people noticed him. I never looked him in the eye. Whenever he approached me, I had run not because of hate, but because of fear and shyness. I had never talked to him, because I feared he would snub me like the others. I did like him.
‘What did you say? Sorry I couldn’t hear, because of all this noise outside.’ He said.
I noticed that all of a sudden there was shouting and screaming outside. I started banging on the door. ‘Hey what’s going on?’
We heard a voice ‘Nothing much; Just a party really. We got some guys to come here and we’re all having fun. Whoo!’
‘Hey c’mon let us out this is serious. You guys will mess everything up. My parents are gonna kill me! Urggh!’
‘We have to escape’ Sean said. I agreed. We tried breaking the door open, but it didn’t budge. He looked about. ‘There’ he pointed up at the window. He climbed the stool and tried to open the window. It didn’t open. ‘It’s not opening’ he shouted. ‘Is there something I can use to break the glass with?’ I looked around, there was nothing ‘Nothing Sean’.
‘He stayed quiet for a moment. ‘Okay, close your eyes, until I say so.’ And he pulled back his fist.
‘What the hell are you doing’ I shouted, knowing very well what he was about to do.
For the first time I heard him shout angrily ‘I told you to keep your eyes closed!’
For some reason I immediately felt fear and closed them. Then I heard a breaking noise and he said’ Okay’
I opened my eyes and say that the window had been broken. I realized he had found something to break the window with.
‘Okay’ he said, ‘I’m gonna give you a boost and you go out the window. You then pull me out. Don’t you dare go confront them without me? It’s dangerous.’
His reaction was really empowering. I had never seen him take charge so calmly. ‘Okay’ I said.
I climbed the stool and then he pushed me, one leg, out the window, I was broken cleanly. He had made sure, I wouldn’t get cut.
As soon as I got out, I said to him to give me his hand. He did
But when I saw his hand, I was horrified. It was cut up and blood was still seeping out from it. ‘What the hell! Did you use your bare hand to break the glass?’
He snickered. ‘There was no other choice really’
All I could do was ask: ‘Why?’
‘Why?’ he answered, ‘For someone who sacrifices her happiness for others, sacrificing my hand was nothing.’
If only human language could describe how I felt from those words. At that exact moment he was pulled and I fell back, him falling on top of me. I was surprised how light he was. But as I realized his body was on top of mine, my heart bumped again. I felt his fragrance rise. He smelled sweet, like honey, and I felt his heart beat synchronize to my own. He pulled his head up and looked at me. No emotion, no expression.
‘Oww,’ I said slowly ‘Do you wanna get of now’ I laughed slightly.
But he lay there silently, looking at me, still expressionless
I too lay there, just listening to each others heartbeat. We both didn’t say anything. I wanted time to stop right there, so I could embrace him for as long as possible. I didn’t want to let him go. The realization that I liked him and that he might leave me, was making my head twirl.
Finally I heard a mumble from him. ‘....ike you...’
‘What?’ I asked him slowly
‘I said I like you’ he said sighing.
When I say that I was paralyzed, I mean that literally. I couldn’t believe it. My head was spinning 360 degrees every second. This was beyond belief. He liked me. When I had finally realized my feeling, he had too said it. But I was hesitant. I was scared of what might happen ‘Yea I like you too. You’re my cousin.’
‘No’ he said firmly ‘when I say I like you, I mean I like you like a guy loves a girl. I am in love with you. I have always been.’ He then bent his down and pressed his lips to mine. I went into Over-shock. My mind went numb. This handsome guy was kissing me. The guy I liked was kissing me. My first kiss was with him. I could taste his sweetness in that kiss. There was no tongue, all it was the pressing of our lips, but enough for him to express his emotions in that small movement. He then raised his head and looked at me. I couldn’t look into his eyes.
Panicking, I pushed him off me. I didn’t know what to say. It was too much at a single time. ‘Umm, we should go now. The kids need to get settled.’ I turned and ran
What was I running away from? What was wrong with me? My feelings were reciprocated and yet I was hiding? Why? All I remember is that I felt like avoiding Sean. Thankfully we got everyone out and everything cleaned before everyone got back. He had managed to stop the bleeding, though I don’t know how. He kept his damaged hand hidden in his pocket.
When my parents entered the house, everything was clean; even better than before. ‘Wow, the way the house is cleaned, looks like you guys were up to something’ my mom said
‘No, no, nothing. We were good kids, right Sean?’ I was expecting him to have a very dreary reaction, but he smiled cheerfully at my mom and said ‘Yup, we were perfect lil’ kids Aunt Susanne.’
I didn’t know what was going on in his mind, but I felt week all of a sudden. I excused my self and left for my room. Before I climbed the stairs I took one last look at Sean. He was expressionless, like before, only this time, I could have sworn I saw a dark look on his face.
All night I tossed and turned on my bed, naked that I was. It was my habit to sleep in the nude since I was 10. Mom always angry because of that, but I still did it. It made me feel comfortable. But tonight, there was no comfort, as all I felt was pain. I didn’t know what was going on with me. Why hadn’t I replied to him? Why hadn’t I told him I liked him too? All night I stayed awake, listening to the sounds in house. I heard the floor creak. I heard voices. I swear I heard someone crying, I heard the door open and close often. I heard the car drive away. Every sound in the night, felt like a gong to my puzzled heart.
In the morning I woke with a grave heart. Getting out of bed, the first thing that came to mind was to answer Sean today. I had decided last night, that I was gonna give him an answer. He deserved it. I wanted to run to him, in his room and jump onto his bed and kiss him, to taste his lips again, to press his body to mine and feel his arms all over my back. But when I went down, everyone was there, except Sean. I was wondering what was wrong with him. Maybe he was still not over my rejection yesterday. Then dad suddenly cleared his throat ‘Umm. You guys I have something to tell you.’
We all stopped eating and looked at him. Dad wasn’t usually this serious ‘Yesterday. Sean decided to leave for England, to go stay with his Uncle Derek.’
‘What?’ Melanie shouted
‘You can’t be serious. Why?’ Leslie said dropping her spoon.
‘Big Bro’s gonna leave us?’ Rene said
‘Why? Doesn’t brother like us anymore?’ Chloe started crying.
I was just shocked. Why? Why? Why? Is it because of me? Had I broken his heart?
I immediately jumped up and ran to his room. I started knocking on his door. ‘Sean, it’s me. Let me in. Listen I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, don’t go.’
I sighed, and then took a deep breath.
‘Sean, me too, I love you too. Please don’t leave me alone. I love you.’ I heard no response, so I opened the door.
It was empty. The room was clean and there was nothing of Sean’s anywhere. I didn’t get what was going on. Mom entered the room and closed the door.
‘Mom what’s wrong here? Where’s all of Sean’s stuff? Why isn’t he here?’ I sobbed and grabbed my mom.
‘Sshh honey, It’s gonna be okay. Listen, Sean decided yesterday night. His uncle has been asking him for over a month to come stay with him.’
‘What?’ he had told me that it had only been a week.
"Well his uncle Derek has been asking him about it since April. He just kept shrugging it off, saying that he still had to do something before he decided.’
I was floored by this. Had e had been waiting for me? Was my decision going to make his mind? Had it been me who had forced him to leave?
‘But why didn’t he say goodbye?’ I wailed.
‘Well honey. He decided that it would be too painful to face you and that you wouldn’t let him go.’
I sniffed. ‘That idiot; he’s always thinking of others.’
All I could do was sob in my own emptiness. I felt weak, emotionally drained. Nothing had prepared me for this and now the truth was just too bitter to swallow. I just stood there, reeling in empty silence; feeling like my heart was being torn slowly.
Mom looked at me. ‘You know that he was in love with you, didn’t’ you.’
When mom said this I was shocked. ‘Ho-How do you know that?’
She smiled sadly. ‘A week after he came here to live with us Sean came to me when I was alone and told me that he was going to make you his bride some day.’
‘When I asked him why, his answer, being only 13, impressed me. He said because you were a golden person, your face, your heart and your soul. At first I only took him half serious, but I later realized that he was very serious about it. When he is serious, his expression is that of an adult. And over time I realized that he was truly in love with you, because a mom can tell when a boy likes her baby.’
Mom’s words only made me realize what I had done to him. ‘Mom I am so sorry. What can I do? I don’t want him to leave suddenly.’
She patted my head ‘There, there. It’s okay. He’s gonna come back one day and that’s when you decide how to answer him. Till then forget about it and enjoy our life. Just be happy’
I dried my tears. ‘Thanks mom.’ I said slightly smiling
When mom left I followed her. At the door I stopped and turned around facing the empty room. I spoke out loud ‘Sean, I don’t know when you’re gonna be back. But I promise you, I will never forget about you. Please come back to me soon.’ And with that I closed the door
‘Mom’ I shouted ‘I’m going to school’
‘But honey, I have to tell you something’ my mom shouted back as I stepped out of the house.
‘Sorry mom can’t wait. Late for school!’
I took a deep breath and then sat and waited in the car. Soon Melanie came out and sat in the driver’s seat and we drove off. As soon as we were out of the neighborhood, she took out a pack of cigarette and lit one.
I looked at her disapprovingly. ‘You know that thing kills right?’
She snickered ‘Yea I know that princess, but I’m not gonna meet my maker until I’m an old bitch with sagging titties.’ She laughed. In the 3 years that had passed, Melanie had grown into a more and more mom look-a-like. Even to the point that she had picked up her smoking habits.
‘I’m 19, what do you expect. I’m in my last year as a teen. I gotta disobey my parents somehow.’
I laughed at this. Every morning Melanie used to drop me off at school before driving off to her college. My high school was in the way so she had no problems. As we pulled up to the school, Mel asked me ‘so what are you gonna do about that Mike kid. He seems pretty intent on going out with you.’
‘Naw, I won’t go out with him. He’s too obnoxious. Plus he’s got terrible B.O.’
‘Hmm...is that really the reason, I wonder’ she said looking at her cigarette.
‘What do you mean? What else could it be?’
‘Nothing, nothing; just thinking out aloud.’
Over the last 3 years Melanie and I had gotten really close. But even so besides mom, no one knew of my true feelings.
As I entered school I met Andrea at the gate.
‘Hey Zo what’s up?’ That had been her nickname for me since we entered high school.
‘Nothing much, just trying to remember what homework Mr. K gave us for Economics.’
As I approached my locker and opened it to take out my stuff, I heard a guy’s voice. ‘You’re looking beautiful today.’ I turned around. There stood Adrian. ‘Adrian’ I shouted and gave him a hug. Adrian had been a friend of mine since last year. I had gone out with him a couple of time, but nothing had come out of it, so I decided not to pursue it, though he made it clear that he was still interested. He had been the first and only guy I had gone out with.
Because of mom’s words of wisdom, I had decided to have fun with life and to enjoy it
I had finally decided to abandon my glasses and opted for contacts. They made my eyes stand out truly. I had also gone through a metamorphosis. In the three years, my bust size had increased, though still not as much as my sisters, but still pretty good. I had grown to 5’6" and since last year I had joined the tennis team. That really helped me keep in shape and my body features were flawless. I had a surfboard stomach, a firm ass and long legs. Boys were now enchanted by me. Earlier at the year, I had already been voted the number once beauty of the school, and people were calling me a shoe-in for Prom Queen. And on top of that I had managed to keep my academic achievement as good as before, leading me to be one of the school’s best students. My life had changed and I had everything going for the better. The only thing that hadn’t changed was that I still didn’t have any boyfriend. But for reason I had never gone out with guys. I always, while considering their qualifications, considered them less than ideal. Only Adrian had been chosen, because he was soft spoken and was normally shy. He had wanted to date me out of all the girls, and considering his guts, I had said yes. School was now actually fun place to be for me now and I was enjoying my life
When school ended, Melanie picked me up once again, and drove me home. As I entered the house, I found mom cooking in the kitchen. She was preparing a steak dinner. From my experience, mom only made her special dishes when there were guests coming over. I was surprised, ‘Hey mom, someone coming over?’
She looked at me and smiled. ‘Oh hi honey. Yeah someone is.’
‘Oh it’s a surprise. He’ll be here by dinner time, so I want you kids to dress sharply.’
At 41, mom was still at her prime. She was strong willed woman. Her blonde hair was thin and always perfect, not even close to showing signs of turning white. Her eyes, blue, were always shining, priding over having raised four beautiful girls.
I immediately went upstairs and entered Leslie’s room. Leslie who was now a college Junior, was still sleeping
I jumped on top her, knocking the wind out of her.
‘Oi. What the fuck? Zoe, what the hell are you doing?
‘It’s your fault, you were still sleeping.
‘I swear’ she said sitting up, ‘the more you grow, the more you’re acting like the twerps.’
I snickered. ‘Oh really, At least I wasn’t up all night at my boy friend’s place.’
Leslie blushed. ‘How did you know?’
I laughed, being amused by her sudden change of attitude ‘It’s cause I was up yesterday night, doing homework. I heard the door downstairs open and then I heard your door open and close. I wasn’t sure, but you just confirmed it for me right now.’
‘God’ she said and flung a pillow at me
I giggled and hit her back and we ended up having a pillow fight. Leslie had developed into a strong willed lady. She didn’t have Mel’s God-given beauty, but her natural physical features could out-match her. Her hips and breasts were even more complementing then Melanie’s and she had a strong style of fashion, which brought her a lot of guy’s attention and drove mom and dad crazy.
The door opened with a bang and Rene and Chloe immediately jumped on the bed with us. ‘Hey did we hear something about boyfriends.’ The shouted in unison
Those girls had grown o be two slap shtick comedians. They had natural beauty of course thanks to their mother’s attributes, but they themselves had been popular all the time and now as they had entered high school, their popularity had emulated. They were already the most popular of the Barker kids. At 5’7" they were the tallest of the kids and inheriting their mom’s blonde locks and their father’s blue eyes, they were radiant beauties, accompanied by the fact that they never went without one another.
‘No, nothing’ I shouted at them ‘just talking about school’
‘Boring!’ they shouted and left.
I soon went to my own room and started undressing. My room had become much brighter over the time as I gotten mom and dad to let me put more and more features in that room. I had gotten another window installed and I even had an air-condition. My lifestyle had really improved.
As I took off my shirt, I stopped in front of the mirror to check my self out. My breasts were full out now. At 36D they were something that got the eyes of all the guys. My body was still thin though and my height had led to my aspects to stand out even more. I had cut my hair and it was mid-back in length. I had also slightly dyed my hair. It was now brown with blonde streaks. My waist was slightly wide and looked perfectly accurate to my hips. As I took off my panties, I looked at my pussy. It was clean and shaved. I had always done that, though I didn’t know why. I just hoped that the boy would see it, would like it to be clean.
As I stepped into the shower, I let the water run over my body. As the sweat was being washed off my body, I reached for the soap and started lathering my body with it
I rubbed it slowly over my arms and shoulders. It was smooth and smelled like lavender. The aroma was always intoxicating. And I gently smoothed over my stomach. As I reached to massage it over my breast, I felt a shudder. My I rubbed them well, As I ran my palms over my nipples, I felt exited. My nipples were getting harder and I was getting exited. I started rubbing my nipples and pinched them. It felt amazing. I felt aroused so much. The pressure of everything was strong against my body. I squeezed them even more and felt my self gasping. A I brought my hands down, to wards my love hole, I felt excitement. I didn’t regularly masturbate, so when I did that, it always felt amazing. As I rubbed my two fingers over the slit, it made all the hair at the back of my neck stand up. Slowly lathering up one finger, I pushed it inside my pussy. It send shiver through my body. I felt spasm in my bodies and felt liquid being released. I felt relived and incredible.
I brought it in deeper and deeper. Every little nook and cranny being overcome, it felt like body was on fire. I started moving it in and out, slightly and slowly. That started my moment. I felt as if I was about to explode. As if I felt another hand on mine, moving it with a mind of its own, I increased my speed. A volcanic eruption was brewing as all the liquid was reaching the exit. I knew that I couldn’t go deeper, because I felt a thin barrier at my finger tip. I was still a virgin and had no plan to break my cherry myself. But I was seriously tempted. I wanted more. The moment was too astounding to explain. And all I could do was slightly; bring about a second finger, close to the slit. As soon as I let it feel the tip of my hole, the volcano erupted. All the liquid was gushing down my legs. I ha come before, but not so much. My heart was beating faster than ever and I felt my nerves highlighting. Nothing had made me feel more sensitive.
As it started to calm down, I slowly caught my breath again. It was not easy to do, considering I never knew a body could have its own splashworks. I wondered how much better it might have been, had a guy’s dick had been in me.
The marvelous feeling was always enthralling. I finished my shower and stepped out. It was close to 7. I chose my classiest clothing items, in anticipation of the guest.
Around 9 pm, we were all called by mom down stairs and made to sit in the den. All the girls were present. They all were wearing a dress or something sexy. Mel was wearing a black-laced top with blue jeans. Leslie was wearing a brown dress, with her hair being curled and the twins were wearing black and brown tent dress and I was wearing a white sheath dress with green patterns. It went well with my eye color and I had my contacts on. Mom herself was wearing a formal evening gown, gold in color and it seemed that she was being too fancy. I realized the guest must be of a very great importance.
‘Mom where’s dad?’ Melanie asked. I too had noticed his absence.
‘Oh your father’s gone to pick him up from the Airport.’ She answered
‘Oh really? I had no idea that we were hosting a foreign guest tonight’ I said.
‘Well I tried to tell you during the morning, but you were too busy remember.’
I thought back to it and realized that she was right.
As we were waiting for dad and the guest, the doorbell rang.
‘Oh that must be them’ mom shrieked and left to get the door.
‘Finally’ I sighed.
After a few moments, during which I heard my mom laugh and dad too, they both walked into the den. Dad was carrying a suitcase with him.
The in walked a guy, who was wearing a hoodie, his head covered and wearing sun glasses. I didn’t recognize him. He seemed to be around my age. His chin I could tell was pointed and had prideful glance, His mouth was turned into a slight smile, but it showed a presence of longing and hands were in his pocket.
‘No need to be shy’ my dad laughed, ‘don’t you guys recognize him?’
I looked around. All my sisters looked as clueless as me.
‘Well I think they’d have an easier time without the disguise young man’ my mom said.
‘Sure’ he said, the voice sounding very familiar in my mind.’
With that he took out his hands and removed his glasses and took of his hood.
And that’s when everything stood still for me.
‘Hey girls, long time no see’ he said smiling
All I heard was a small whisper come out of my mouth
It was Sean. He had come back .After three years of being absent from our lives. He had finally returned. And he had changed in many ways. His height was now close to 6 feet and he looked broad. He hadn’t gained any weight, nor did he look buffed, but from his posture I could tell that he was strong and had a good built. He had grown his hair, which now, jet black, was neck long and it also went in a fringe, his handsome face being covered by it in a messy, yet orderly way. He looked very different from how he had been when he left. Except for one thing; His smile. It was the same smile that he always had. A sad one that made you want to ask him what was wrong.
I looked at my sister and they were as dumbfounded as me. Sean looked even more mind-blowing than before and slightly more masculine. I swear I was Melanie checking him out and her eyes looked like she had found her mating partner.
‘What are you girls doing? Come say hi to your cousin properly.’ My dad said.
As Rene and Chloe got closer to him, I felt they were nervous. Back when he had come for the first time, they had immediately rushed to him and had made friends with him quickly. But now they were red faced, looking like fan girls, meeting their TV idol. They nervously shook his hand and immediately left to sit on the sofa, not a word spoken between the.
As Leslie approached him, she too looked nervous, but she presented her self better than the twins. She firmly shook his hand and said ‘Welcome back Sean. It’s been so long no. God, it’s amazing to see you again.’ Sean looked at her and gave her this smile, and I swear I saw Leslie’s arm suddenly shake, like the wind had been knocked right out of her. As she turned around and walked toward me, I saw her mouth ‘Oh God, he’s hot!’
And then Melanie approached. For the first time, I saw Melanie being shy and acting with caution, instead of being her brash overbearing self. And neither did I see any mischief in her eyes. She was simply cute.
And what Sean did make my jaw drop. He lightly took her right hand. And then he gently but firmly, pressed his lips on it. He looked up at her while doing this and I, as her sister, felt that Melanie might succumb to fainting spell
Never had she acted that way. I was taken back.
And I was now getting nervous. It was my turn. We hadn’t seen each other since his abrupt confession and my even abrupt rejection. What was I to do? How would I react? And the next thing I knew, all my emotions were released in the form of tears. I felt them running down my face. Everyone started looking at me, even Sean, who showed no specific sentiment
‘Oh what’s wrong with me? Why am I crying suddenly?’ I asked myself aloud
I had no answer. Why did I feel so happy, yet so sad?
‘I’m sorry everyone,’ and with that I ran, straight up the stairs and into my bedroom. I dared not look back at them, especially Sean. I didn’t know what his reaction was going to be, or what expression he might be showing at that moment, but for some reason I felt like I’d rather not know.
This whole thing was upsetting and I didn’t know how to hold back my fear or my happiness.
As I lay there on my bed I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Silence everywhere. No noise from downstairs and no sign of any life in my radar. I just knew that I was alone and felt terrible in my misery.
For what felt like hrs, I lay there in silence, until I heard my bedroom door open and some once came in. I realized it was mom as she sat beside me.
‘I don’t know what to do mom. It’s so sudden. I don’t know what to say to him. He shows up all of a sudden, when I’m not even ready for him and I know eventually I’ll have to say something. What do I do mom? I’m so confused?’ I started sobbing
‘Well, saying hi would be a good start,’ said a soft voice. Realizing it’s not mom I looked up and of all the people in the world, it was Sean. He was looking at me, like I was some kind of small child and he needed to help me.
‘Se-Sean, what are you doing here?’
‘Well after you ran off crying, I was confused and asked your mom what was wrong. She said that I should go up and talk to you. Apparently I am lousy at making people laugh, so guess it’s natural I make them cry’ He smiled
I laughed slightly too, gulping in a tear. ‘No Sean, you make people happy. I was just panicking and I didn’t know how to respond. Everything was soooo quick and out of the blue, it became a rush for me and I couldn’t keep up.’
‘Well now that that’s settled, how are you?’ he asked, keeping his smile
‘I’m fine. You tell me. In 3 years, no letter, no mail, no word. Why? And how come you’re here so suddenly?
He looked at me firmly. The smile wasn’t there, but there wasn’t any anger showing. ‘Well I’m here cauz I finished high school this year and I have decided to go to college here. So I asked Uncle Derek if I could move back here. It took a few moths of persuasion to let me come here. But in the end he finally agreed.’
I was surprised. ‘Woah woah, hold up. College, aren’t you a grade younger than me. I’m gonna start college this Fall, how come you’re with me?
He smiled ‘Oh, it’s cauz I was promoted two grades over there. My score apparently was good enough.’
I was happy at hearing this. We were going to go to college together. In the empty space I was laughing, when in the back of my mind, the question still lingered.
‘Sean, listen’ I said getting serious, softly grabbing his hands. ‘I’m sorry about what happened. I am soo so sorry. I shouldn’t have run away like that. I should have answered you.’
He stayed silent
‘Sean I know I was a coward then and I know I have hurt you badly, but please believe me. I never wanted it to happen intentionally. It was just too much to think about all of a sudden. So please forgive me.’
I took a deep breath, ready to say the most important words of my life.
‘Sean the truth.....Sean the truth is umm.....Sean the truth is that I actually---‘
‘Oh don’t worry about that’ he said cutting me off. I looked at him, with pleading eys. He abruptly stood up, letting go of my hands.
I actually got over that really. I realized that it truly had been a stupid kid emotion. I saw you being brave, and probably all the hormone started acting up, but in reality, I guess I was fooling my self.’
My heart felt like it had gone cold. My body was filled with pain, as shivers ran down my entire body. What was he saying? Was he serious? What was going on? I was so confused’
He started laughing lightly.
‘So don’t worry about it. It was my fault really; I shouldn’t have said that I like you in the first place. I hope you never took it seriously, now we can be friends again.’
I felt like my body couldn’t move. Nothing had made me even believe for a moment that this would ever happen to me. The only boy, who ever truly confessed to me, was now saying it was just nerves. What was wrong here?
He started leaving ‘So ummm... I hope we get along well and things are good for the both of us.’
Sean stayed true to his word. He never did look at me ever in a way that made me believe that he yearned for me. He always seemed patient. If anything, he always seemed happy to talk to me, as if rebuilding our friendship was the most important thing for him.
He had truly changed in these three years. He was no longer shy. He always held his head up and talked to him. He always voiced his opinion now. And he now always helped around the house. Mom and Dad often commented that a boy had left and a man had returned. If that was true, then did that mean that it was the boy who loved me and the man, wanted to be just friends.
Every little thing he did made me more confused. I couldn’t make head and tail of anything he did. All of his actions were now so unpredictable. He also had grown wisdom wise. Not in the sense that he was genius all of a sudden. We had always known when had been living with us last, that he was the smartest person in the house, even so more than me. He just now seemed too ‘grown up’
The more I tried to find common grounds between us, the more I realized he had grown up. He was this mature guy who could act like a big bother to Rene and Chloe, rather than their friend and act like he was Leslie’s age, joking with her.
He always treated Melanie with the most respect though. He always seemed caution when talking with her. She too always seemed to be free when he was at home and they seemed to spend a lot of time with it.
At the end of July, it had about a 3 weeks since Sean had come back to live with us. I had pretty much gotten used to his new style, but that didn’t’ mean I was happy with it. If anything, as time passed on I started falling into a slight depression because the more he seemed to ignore me, the more my heart coveted him and wished that I had done something all those years back.
Melanie had been out that day. She had asked Sean to drop her off somewhere. The place she said was about an hour and a half away, so they were gonna be gone for a long time. I wondered why he was willing to go so easily. And why was Melanie asking him all the time, rather mom like usual?
I was watching TV, when mom called me
‘Honey, could you please go get me a Tylenol from Melanie’s room please?’
‘Sure mom’ I replied. I had done that many times before. Mel always had a large surplus of them.’
I went into her room and opened the drawer, where she normally kept them. And there, I saw them
I was horrified.
I gasped and put my hand on my mouth. What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?
The thing that petrified me was not the condoms themselves. I had actually known about them since almost half a year. Mel had said that she kept them incase the right guy came along. But the thing terrifying me right now was that from the pack 4 were missing. She had the whole strip the day before Sean came, as I had taken out some painkiller that day. And now they were gone and as far as I knew Melanie didn’t have boyfriend. And she had been driven by Sean on a long drive 4 times already.
My mind was blacking out. I didn’t’ want to put to put 2 and 2 together. I could never accept the conclusion. No! It had to be a lie
How could Sean do that to me?
Maybe he didn’t love me, but this was like kicking me while I was down.
I ran to my room and stayed in there all night. I kept praying that my perception was wrong but no matter how I looked at it, there was no other solution that I could come up with. That night when I heard Mel and Sean come in, I snuck out of the room and silently observed them. Melanie’s hair was in a mess and it looked like they both were roughed up. And then I heard the last words I wanted to hear. Melanie spoke
‘I love you Sean so much. Thank you for all this.’ I don’t remember what happened afterwards, but all I remember is being back in my room, feeling drained and slowly falling into the abyss.
I kept my distance form Sean, from that day forward. I avoided him at all possible manners. Whenever he came into a room, if I was in there, I always made some sort of excuse and got out of there. Whenever he started up a conversation with me, I dropped it immediately by changing the topic and then got my self busy in discussing something with Leslie or mom. I avoided his gaze, and if possible, made sure that he never saw my face. I did this all not for the fact that I might hate him now. No quite the contrary, I was afraid that if I ever saw his eyes, I might brake and tell everyone what I had learner, in order to separate him and Melanie. I still loved him and if being with Melanie made him happy, I, in all my grief, would try to accept that
The one night in late Mid-August, during the monsoon season, I was reading a book when Sean entered the den and made his way to the lazy boy across the room. I at first tried to avoid him and ignore him, but for just a millisecond I happen to look up from the book at him and saw him gazing at me. I immediately put my face down, praying he hadn’t seen my observation.
He then spoke, ‘Zoe, listen, I need to talk---.’
I immediately got up and was just about to exit the den, when mom came in,
‘Oh honey excellent. Listen, your aunt Nancy has this antique statue form our house when we were kids and I need you to go pick it up. Can you do that please?’ she asked
‘Mom, Aunt Nancy lives in a different town, its about a 3 hour drive form here. Are you serious?’ I asked, quite surprised.
‘I know dear, but it’s just an important thing. It was a statue our mom bought when we moved there; I always kept it in my room. It has so many precious memories, I just want it badly. I would have gotten it myself, but your father is out of town and I need to go to the plant and get a few meeting done.’
‘Alright mom, I’ll go. But how am I supposed to go there. If I take a bus, it’ll take half a day to get there. It’s already 7.’
My mom looked behind me ‘Sean, dear, would you mind driving up there with Zoe. You probably don’t remember the way, so she’ll be your guide.’
I couldn’t believe my ears. This was anything but what I needed right now. I crossed my fingers and hoped that Sean would share my feelings and deny. He replied. ‘Sure Aunt Susanne. No problems. There’s like what, 2, 3 towns along the way right?’
‘Yes dear, 3 to be exact.’ Mom beamed ‘There you go. Thank you so much both of you. Now drive safe. There’s’ a report of a monsoon alert, so get there quick.’ And she left.
I closed my eyes and kept praying that this was a dream, but ten the devil’s voice came. ‘I’ll be in the car. Hurry up okay....’
Oh God, I was so tensed that I didn’t know if I could even get in the car.
But I had to so I made my way I there and we both sat. As Sean pulled out the drive way, he gave one look to the house, as if saying good bye and thank you. I wondered what that was about.
We drove all the way in silence. The journey was terrifying. Partly because of the storm brewing outside and partly because I was afraid that Sean would ask me something. What was I to say? Hey I know you and Melanie are having sex, good luck? After a terrible 3 hour drive, where neither of us spoke anything thankfully,. We pulled into town
Surprisingly Sean knew the way to the house, which made me wonder why he didn’ leave me at home any way.
We picked up the statue which was in the form a elephant, looking sort of like a Disney cartoon, mixed with a satirist’s view of what was cute. I didn’t particularly like the statue, but that was to say I didn’t find it curious. The more I looked at it, the more I could have sworn that I had seen it before, which was weird because I would have remembered seeing something so peculiar.
‘Is this the statue?’ Sean asked my aunt
‘Yes it is’ Sean said, ‘a smile was playing on his, ‘It looks the same’
What Sea knew about this statue?
‘Oh you guys can take it. Just get home safe. The weather forecast said that the monsoon might be coming. If you want you can stay here overnight?’
I thought about it. It might be good experience. I was about to say yes, when Sean said, ‘No thank you ma’am, we really should be going. Got some work in the morning.’
‘Oh dear, well then be careful young man. You have lady with you’ she winked.
Sean laughed, ‘Oh she’s safe with me. I’d never let anything harm her ever.’ My stomach did a double flip.
And so we got in the car and started to make our way back to home. The way back was the same as our first trip. We dint say a single word,, both having different reasons. My being fear and his being confusion.
It was quiet and I prayed that it would stay that way, but I knew in my heart that things between me and Sean could be normal, like that fate event on the day three years back.
We had just entered the second town, when all of a sudden rain started to pour. At first it was only light, but then it became heavier. I could see that even Sean, who was very good driver, was having problems driving. I knew that Sean was trying his best, but he was struggling and normally he should have stopped, but he was till going.
So I dared to talk
‘Umm...Sean...how come you’re still driving, maybe we should stop?’
He first stayed quiet, maybe contemplating an answer to his sanity, or maybe he was surprised that I actually talked to him.
‘Well, ahh, it’s because I know you want to get home and I know you feel awkward and unhappy being here with me.’
His answer was deeply revealing. Had he stayed quiet all this time, in order to avoid making me uncomfortable? I said, laughing
‘Hey idiot, being a car with you, and not saying a word, is already too awkward.’
He laughed, not heartily, but enough to ease the tension. ‘Okay then.’
And he turned right and parked the car in front of a building
‘What are you doing?’ I asked
‘Well you’re right, it is hard. I am being a stubborn idiot. We can camp out here for the night and leave tomorrow morning.’
I looked up. There was sign on the building. ‘Gates Hotel’
A Hotel? Was he serious?
‘Umm...Sean is this okay? I mean I don’t have any money and mom might say something.’
‘Well...’ he reached into his pocket and pulled out a wallet, ‘That’s one problem solved and the second...’
He called someone on his cell ‘Hello Aunt Susanne. Hey listen, me and Zoe, we got stranded here in the town. No we’re okay. Yes she’s fine...Yes I know, we got it don’t worry...Ha-Ha...anyways listen the monsoon just took us by surprise, there basically no way I can drive safely tonight and since were halfway there, we can’t go back to Aunt Nancy’s place, so we’re gonna stay here...Don’t worry...Yes I’ll keep her safe...Alright...Goodbye.’
I was left with my mouth hanging. Wow he had really changed. Far from being shy, he could now negotiate and convince my parents. I was impressed, to say the least.
‘Hey lets get in before it becomes crazy again.’ He said. We ran into the hotel and Sean went up the check out desk. He came back with the key
We made out way to the room and entered it. It was pretty furnished room and seemed pretty comfortable. There was TV, a fridge, a real Fireplace and...One bed?
‘Oh, shit I asked them for a two bed room.’ Sean said running his finger through his mane, ‘Umm, I’ll go get another room okay, wait here, ‘kay?’
But before he could leave, I grabbed his hand. I didn’t want to be let alone and especially not by him. ‘Sean, please don’t leave me alone. I’m scared.’ Thunder had always scared me for the worse. I had never told anyone about my fear
‘Oh...but are you okay with this? You know, sharing a bed?’ he seemed worried
‘It’s okay. If it’s with you, it’s okay.’
He looked at me and gave me a smile. It melted my heart to look at that amazing smile. I wondered why I was ever feeling awkward with him in the first place.
‘Kay. I’m gonna go take a bath. Just go to bed, I’ll join you in a few minutes.’ He said
‘Sure’ and I got into bed
Lying there under the covers, I asked my self that what the hell was going on. Today all day I was avoiding him and now at night, was going to sleep in the same bed. Where was nature gonna take us. I knew that secretly in my heart that nothing was gonna happen because Sean already had Mel and he would never cheat on her. It was not his nature.
I stayed in bed, in the darkness, for some time, listening to the thunder and the shower running. After a while, I heard the shower stop and the door opened. And form the light, Sean came out. He was not wearing a shirt.
I heard myself gasp
‘Oh you’re still up?’ he asked surprised himself. ‘I thought you’d’ be asleep.’
He put on his shirt and stood beside the bed. ‘Umm...Zoe are you still sure about this?’
‘Yes.’ Was all I could say, scared of he might leave me.
He got into bed and faced the other side. There was dead silence in the room. It was awkward, but warm. I had never known the heat from a man’s body could be so comforting. I could smell him, his scent, almost taste him through this and it brought back memories of my first kiss, all that time back. The flashes of lightening were making me shiver and I felt like the distance between us would increase. All of a sudden I felt his back press to mine. I took a deep breath.
‘Hey...I won’t do anything wrong, but if you feel warm, keep close to me. I was serious when I said I’d never let anything harm you.’
My stomach felt like there a million butterflies in there, all making me feel so light.
‘Hey,’ he said ‘do you know the statue we got?’ Every word he said in the darkness sounded affectionate
‘Yea of course’
‘Well do you know why I said I remember it? Does it give you any memory?’ he asked, slowly.
‘Not really, but when I looked at it, it kinda looked similar.’ I answered equally slowly
‘Well its cauz it was the find binding memory of you and me.’
‘What?’ I couldn’t remember anything
‘Yea...Remember when we were small and we met once. I think you were 8 and me 7’ he asked.
‘Yea.’ I answered, having no clue of what to expect.
‘Well when we were small and we met, we took a liking to each other. So much so that you declared that you wanted to get married an we did. That statue was our ‘priest’.’ He laughed slight
‘Oh my God’ I couldn’t believe it. My ace was burning red of embarrassment. I couldn’t believe I had done such a thing, and much less with Sean, the boy I have come to love.
‘Yeah’ he laughed, ‘We were idiots with fantasy, but we were really close. Maybe that’s’ why, when I saw you all those years later, I wanted to get close to you.’
I was silent. This happy and embarrassing news soon led me to remember r something that almost made me cry. ‘Well at least now you have Melanie.’
‘What? What do you mean?’ he sounded surprised.
I was pondering whether I should continue or not. I decided hiding things would just alienate us further. ‘Sean I know the truth. I know you actually love Melanie. I figured it out.’
Still not turning, he asked, ‘What are you talking about? I don’t have a thing for Mel. If anything, she’s like an older sister to me.’
I felled angry. Why was he denying it? ‘Sean, I know okay, please don’t lie to me. I know you two have been going to a hotel or somewhere every time you drive her off’ I said laughing bitterly, holding back tears.
He didn’t laugh. ‘How can you belie that?’
‘Cauz I know that Melanie keeps...Umm...Condoms with her and since you’ve been here they’ve started gone missing.’
Now he laughed, slight, but a true laugh. ‘Yeah that’s’ cauz she indeed been having sex, but not with me. She’s got a boyfriend.’
What? Things were going too crazily. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Yeah. It’s a secret, but <el, met a guy in college and fell in love with him. Every time I take her out, I drive her over to his place, where they consummate their love. You fairly know you’ll parents will kick her out if they find out what she’s doing. So this is her secret.’
‘But-But, last time you guys came back, I heard her say to you that she loved you.’
He looked puzzled, ‘When?.....Oh! That...hey she was just thanking me, remember, she said Sean I love you, thank you for all the help you’ve given me. I would never be able to meet Darius without you.’
I couldn’t believe it. All a misunderstanding, because I didn’t bother listening to them properly or being honest to my sister and Sean. I hated myself. I really did hate myself. I felt tears start to form around my eyes.
He started laughing. ‘Really? You thought me and Mel, that’s funny.’
I got angry. ‘What the hell are you laughing at? It was your fault. M love and hatred for you at the same time had caused me to be like this. And now idiot, you’re laughing at my pain.....But I really am an idiot. No wonder you hate me.’
‘How can I hate you Zoe? How can I hate the one I love?’
Now by the grace of God or His mercy, whatever you called, after hearing this I turned o face him and at that exact moment, he turned to face me. And we ended up facing each other on one bed, in the middle of darkness, once our outlines being visible due to the lightning.
I just asked simply, ‘What?’
He sighed, and slowly he reached out and touched his finger tips to my cheek. His fingers were so warm, emitting a desire form my body I never knew. I felt compelled to hold him.
‘Zoe, why would I ever hate you? Like I told you three years back.......I am in love with you.....’
In this silent moment, my entire world turned upside down. ‘What?’
He looked at me. In the darkness I could envision and feel his strong gaze. ‘What are you deaf? I said I, Sean Hammett, am in love with you Zoe Barker. I did, have and will forever continue to love you, beyond death.’
I couldn’t believe it, He loved me. He still loved me. I was wrong. He was still in love with me. The guy I had hated, and then come to love, was still in love with me. The moment I understood the truth of this statement, my heart felt like it sopped. Did I deserve this? Was this a dream? Was nature playing a cruel trick on me? I didn’t want it to. If this a dream, please let me stay in this coma. I was beyond bliss. I was beyond ecstatic. I was...happy.
‘But,-but-but’ I couldn’t hold back the tears, as they started dripping loosely, ‘I thought you hated me. You told me that that confession was a mistake. It was hormones.’
He looked at me lovingly. ‘It was all true. You weren’t ready and it was mistake to confess to you before such a big decision. It was hormones because I was worried that if I go with Uncle Derek, I might lose you as you might fall in love with someone while I was gone.’
‘But-but I thought you left cause of me.’ I shuddered
‘No selfish reasons really. I had decided originally to stay back. But that night uncle Derek called me. He talked to me for the first time since proposing the idea. He said he would love to have me and more importantly I should do it for his wife. Since they couldn’t have children ad she was unwilling to adopt a baby, she needed someone to nurture and love. They needed me. I couldn’t ignore that plea. As much as it hurt me to leave you, I did it cauz I was selfish’
I stated laughing, gulping tears. Always the same with him. He was truly an angel. ‘No you idiot. You always sacrifice your happiness for others don’t you?’
He looked at me and smiled. ‘Maybe’
His smile evoked even more emotion from my heart.
‘But tonight I’m about to make my first selfish request.’ He said
I looked at him, lovingly, devotedly
‘Zoe I love you. Will you be mine?
The world outside cried, the lightning ripping the nature of clouds. The birds hid for shelter, the plants feasted on the rain. The moon hid herself from mortals. The stars lost their twinkle. My tears of joy finally flowed............And he kissed me!
It was not a regular kiss. Nor was it a kiss of lust. It was an emotional kiss either. It was kiss of freedom: A freedom where I could tell him my emotions; a kiss where he could tell me his pains; a kiss where we could finally say the magic words.
He pulled his hand and ran it lightly across my face, his fingers lightly touching my skin. His feel was just enough to send shivers down my spine. It made me feel arm like never before. A fire erupted from within my body.
And then I felt it. His tongue. It brushed across my lips and on instinct I met his with mine and they intertwined an embrace that would put cobras to shame. I tasted him. Truly tasted him. He was sweet
Honey is a natural sweet. He was beyond belief.
I wanted him. No, needed him.
He was a does of drug for me. I was hungering for him. My tongue and his rolled and we explored the mysterious caverns of each others mouths. I didn’t know that kissing could be this sweet. My love had given me two kisses. Both of them sweeter than sugar and addictive than drugs, as it made me feel amazing.
We finally looked at each other, breathing heavily. Desires were rampant, as we embraced each other again.
‘Oh my God Sean, I love you too. Love you soo much. I have always wished for this. One day I wished that you would finally be mine.’
‘I love you too babe. I promise, to protect you here and forever.’
That was all I needed to hear, as I started rubbing his back with my hands, feeling his strong wide back. He had truly grown, as I felt the muscles tighten and loosen, his body working overtime to keep us with is desires.
He wasn’t sure about what to do, if I would even allow him. To show him I was damn serious, I took his hand placed it on my breast.
Through my cotton shirt, he could feel my nipple. He was surprised. ‘No bra?’
I giggled. ‘Well I didn’t have time to change did I now?
He laughed ‘I’m glad you didn’t’ and with that he gave a slight squeeze and all my urges exploded. I had never felt that good
‘Oh Sean, you’re making me feel soo good. A little harder baby....’
‘Hey lift you arms up’ he said. I obeyed and was immediately met with cold air as he discarded my shirt and looked at me.
He looked at me deeply ‘Oh God, you’re beautiful.’ What he said made my heart melt,
‘All this for you Sean, all for you!’
He shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe and then said ‘can I?’ I nodded
He put his palm to my breast and squeezed lightly. Again my body moved on its own as I felt my self pushing towards his palm. ‘Oh that’s amazing.
Then all of a sudden an electric current ran through my body, as he gently flicked my nipple. ‘Oh what are you doing Sean?’ I asked deeply breathing.
‘Making you feel good, of course’ and with that he pinched my nipples both for them and I felt my tits burn. This was the point of no return.
Our relationship was going to change forever
My body was moving and twisting to his touch
He laid me down on the bed and stated kissing my body. He started from neck, making me quiver. His touch was so warm ye so ice cold. It felt like an ice cube was being seductively slid across my body
When he reached my stomach he stopped and gave me a loving look, before taking a finger and rubbing it across my slit, outside on my white cotton briefs. That did it for me, My first time being touched by a man, and that one I hade loved for soo long, the idea f that put my brain on fire as I lost all senses. Then I felt it, my body felt like mercury had just ran through it and I felt spasms coming on. But it didn’t hurt and I wanted that feeling over and over again.
I slowly started to breath again. As I did, I regained my feelings and realized my panties were soaked.
‘Oh God, what the hell was that? My body was on fire.’
Sean smiled. ‘That was an orgasm. You just had you first and I feel damn proud to give it to you.’
‘Oh you naughty boy’ I giggled, ‘well that felt godly. How can I return the favor?’
Sean stood up and unbuttoned his shirt. He sat down of the bed and took of his sock, slowly, one at a time. Oh God, he was teasing me soo badly. I was gonna get him. Finally he stood up and lowered his boxers. As soon as he took them off, his hard cock, slipped out.
It was my first time seeing a real one. It looked so big, so much more than on the Porn Websites. He gently called me to him. When I approached him, he took my chin in his hand and kissed me. Once, twice, with the most passion one can muster up in that situation for their beloved.
I looked into his eyes and knew it: I would never be anyone else’s.
I got down on my knees and for the first time was up-close with his meat. God it was big. It looked about 7-8 inches to me.
‘Can-Can I touch it?’ I asked shyly, almost teasing him
‘Of course you can.’ He said, never forcing me
I reached out my right hand and slowly, but firmly grabbed it. The moment my hand touched his rod, he released a gasp, betraying all the coolheaded image he was trying to build. I couldn’t help but giggle. But I was confused too
‘What should I do?’ I asked
‘Umm...You should slowly move your hand up and down on it. Gently.’ And I did
I couldn’t believe how warm it was In my palm, I couldn’t believe it could feel so hard, yet soft.
As I moved my hand, Sean started to tense up more slightly and soon he was slightly gasping. Apparently he was feeling amazing. Gradually I built my speed and I said his breathing got louder. I knew he was feeling great and I felt happy knowing I was making him feel this good. When I started to slow down, not sure what to do next, he moaned ‘Oh don’t stop’, and I knew what the next step was on impulse.
Without any warning, or anything I took out my tongue and liked the tip of his dick. I know that must have been the biggest and best surprise in his life, because he knees almost buckled. When he looked down at me with that look, I knew I was right and I opened my mouth and took an inch of his hard pole in my mouth. It was warm in my mouth seem to expand.
I slowly started darting my head back and forth and intake of breaths form him increased along with my speed. He was getting warmer and warmer and he was enjoying it so much.
I was just thinking of what will happen next, when he said ‘Oh Zoe, I’m about to come.’
I knew what that meant and though whether to let him spill his cream or swallow it. I knew already what a teenage boy would prefer and increased my speed
I let it slide to the back of my mouth, as much as possible, without choking and felt that his dick was pulsating slightly. ‘Ah, I’m almost there’
I increased my efforts even further and just when I thought he was still far, he screamed ‘Oh babe, I’m cumming’
The first splash of it hit the back of my throat. It went hard, but I manage to hold my ground, promising myself that I would do what I had indented. After 3, 4 spurts, he finally stopped and I let his slightly limp cock slip out my mouth. I looked up at him and when his returning senses focused on me, I swallowed. He seemed shell shocked and when I opened my mouth and shoed it was empty, his mouth dropped
‘Zoe, you did that for me?’
‘Of course, I love you don’t I’
‘I love you too babe and lemme show you how much’
And with that he pulled my leg and I suddenly fell backwards on the bed. Before I had a chance to respond, he started kissing me. Starting from my ankles, he kept lowering himself, his each advance, ushering more gasps for me. When he reached my scared vicinity, he looked at me lovingly for approval. How could I deny that face? And I then nodded. He slowly pulled my panties and slid them off. He looked amazed ‘You’re shaven?’
I looked at him in a naughty way ‘Yeah, I always unknowingly did it. I always wondered why. Maybe subconsciously I was hoping when this day came, you’d like it’
He looked elated ‘I love it.’ And immediately bend down and gave my slit a quick lick. The reaction I felt within myself was undeniable. Never had I felt this feeling. I didn’t know what it was but I knew that I wouldn’t stand not getting this blessed feeling again.
‘Oh my God Sean, do that again...Mmmm..God I love it!’ I screamed
He obliged and started to lick with fervor. He slipped a tongue in sending me screeching into another orgasm. All my liquids gushing from met the same time. Masturbation had been amazing, but nothing compared to this. I started pressing my gash more and deeper onto his face. It didn’t discourage him that I was screaming at the top my lungs. He just kept at it. All of a sudden he stopped.
; What the he---‘before I could finfish it, he took his thumb and started rubbing my clitoris with it. ‘Oh my!! Holy!!!!!’
Then when he likes my clit, tat feeling is once that cannot be described. Scholars and Philosophers have tried to pen it, but all have fallen short. My mind, heart, body, soul and thoughts themselves, were all on fire. I felt like that if even the world was being destroyed, I wouldn’t care, as long I kept feeling this way
‘Oh Lord Sean. Wow you’re amazing at this. Where did you lean it?’
In mumbles I heard ‘nowhere...just... picked up on...instinct...’
Finally before I was so drained that I’d faint, Sean stopped. He stood up and I saw that he was hard again
‘Well isn’t Sean Jr. All ready for fun’ I said
‘Willing and able’ he quipped smiling
Well then let him enter the love tunnel.
He stood on the edge and pulled me closer. He took his cock and started rubbing it along my opening, coating it in juices, making it easier to slide in. The feeling of his meat, slapping my pussy was too much o handle
‘Sean hurry up, I can’t take it anymore!’ I pleaded
Okay get ready’ he put the tip of his dick at the entrance. ‘This is gonna hurt a lot a first, cauz you’re a virgin’
I needed that feeling ‘I don’t care. I saved my hymen for you all this time. Hurry up and claim your prize.
He breathed ‘Alright. Here we go’ and breathed quickly, he pushed a couple of inches in letting it slide in till a thin barrier. Oh god it was painful, it was stretching me so much, but the idea of having his dick in me was even more desirable.
‘You okay?’ he asked. I nodded. ‘Just hurry’ I said
He nodded and let me take a deep breath, as he pushed forward and after stretching it slightly, I felt my hymen tear.
‘Arghh!!!’ It was hurting, so much
But I was happy. Tears started to flow. Sean panicked ‘Zoe, babe you okay?’
I smiled slowly ‘Of course, I’m just crying that I’m finally a woman; your woman’
He smiled at me
I took a little while to let him myself get used to the new stretched part of my anatomy.
‘Okay, move now’ I said and he did, slowly, making sure to avoid friction. It stung, it really did, but soon it started to ease up
A slow moan left my mouth and I knew that I was gonna enjoy this form that point. Soon all the pain turned to pleasure and as Sean go faster, my moaning got louder. With ever thrust, I met him with another one of mine, making sure he felt them properly. He was getting faster and faster giving me more pleasure and letting me understand the truth of what love is.
The physical emotion I felt for this, was only a fraction of how much I loved him.
‘Sean...Oh God...Mmmm...Baby I love you!’
‘I love you too Zoe. I love you soo much!’
Our speed started to increase and Sean got faster and faster. He was a man on fire. He wanted to make sure I enjoyed it as much as he was and I must say that I indeed was. Suddenly he bend down, put his arms under me and swept me up, lifting me. The pressure felt completely different. It felt harder, hotter, but the pleasure was so amazing too.
‘I didn’t know that different position, gave you different pleasure’ I sad breathing profoundly
‘Baby, with me, you’ll learn all kinds of pleasure in this world.’ He answered, pounding away at my sweet pussy
I felt the heat in my gather at the pit of my stomach and just as quick as it started gathering, it suddenly released and spread throughout my entire body. I as spurting fluids again and feeling oh so amazing Ooooh, I’m coming Sean, I’m coming...
If anything, that increased his desire to make me feel great and speed if possible increased and then it happened. I felt that heaven had become a part of me and I was eating form the sweetest fruit. All my senses already at their summit, experienced another intense session, making my body burst in bliss
‘Oh, what the hell, Oh God, Amazing. What happened to me Sean?’
‘Oh baby, you probably had multiple orgasms!’
I started pounding away again. After a min, he said ‘Aahh, I’m about to cum.
I knew what I wanted. I had decided it the moment Sean had asked me to be his.
‘Sean, cum inside me.’
‘What? Are you on the pill?’
‘Ye I am. But I would have wanted it anyway. I don’t care about anything else’
‘But you know how dangerous that could be...’
‘I don’t care. As long I’m with you, I’m ready to heave your baby. Please Sean. Let me have it’ I shouted
‘Okay’ he went in hard
After half a minute of intense thrust, he pushed in once deep and said ‘here you want it baby, take it!’
And then I felt my inside filling with warm baby juice. The feeling was mind-numbing. It was soo warm yet so relaxing. I would have taken his cum, even if I wasn’t on the pill. It filled my womb and filled me my limit and started leaking out. Even with his dick plugging my hole, it was still a lot and the moment he lifted me of his shaft, , the liquid, started dripping. As we lay on the bed, I put a hand between my legs and took some of it and liked my finger clean.
I then closely snuggled up to him, resting my head on his chest and rose his pulled the blanket over us, leaving us reeling in a loving, promising and fulfilling embrace.
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