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Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor
Chapter Six
Disclamer: Not mine, I own nothing. I'm not making any money
WARNING: Harsh Language, adult themes, sexual situations (i.e. smut), bad spelling and grammar.

Author's Notes: This story is a broad farce with over the top humor (a good deal of it is crude and sexual) and OOC actions (that's Out Of Character if you don't know). Also, this is my first smut-ish fic. If you don't like sex and sex-based humor, do NOT read this!

Chapter Six Summary: The Scavenger Hunt... err... the search for the Horcruxes begins! In order to locate the Horcruxes, Harry and Hermione use their inner-eye, that and Hermione gets something in her eye.


An ungodly scream erupted from Hermione as she discovered that it was Godric Gryffindor who was fondling her arse. In a combination of disgust and panic, Hermione tried to flee from the ancient and lecherous ghost. Unfortunately for Hermione's impromptu escape plan, Harry's right hand was still tangled in her bushy hair which forced her to unwillingly attempt to drag him along with her. More unfortunately though, Harry was much heavier that she was. With a resounding crash, Harry and Hermione crumpled to the floor. The couple landed in an unnatural and uncomfortable pile, with Harry on top. Thankfully though, this led to Harry's hand becoming untangled from Hermione's hair.

"Ooh," Gryffindor exclaimed. "That had to hurt."

Groaning, Hermione tried to wriggle free from Harry's body and tangled limbs. But, she did a little too good of a job wriggling. You see, because of their awkward positions and that pesky thing called gravity, Harry's crotch was firmly pressed against Hermione's shapely bottom. And Hermione's squirming caused '/Harry, Jr./' to wake up, and very quickly as well. Hermione obviously felt Harry poking her in the bum for she growled, "Not now, Harry!"

Harry didn't care about the uncomfortable position they were in or the fact that Gryffindor was watching. All Harry wanted was for Hermione to wriggle her bum against '/Harry, Jr./' some more. He loved how it felt to have '/Harry, Jr/.' pressed in-between Hermione's cheeks.

"Harry!" barked Hermione.

Harry begrudgingly obliged and untangled himself from Hermione's body. Realizing that he needed to get back on Hermione's good side, he gallantly assisted her in regaining her feet. The now-erect.... um, upright couple glared at the ghost. Hermione took a deep breath and was about to verbally attack Gryffindor when the ghost pointed at Harry's groin and declared, "You are a true Gryffindor... you '/dress right/,' just like me!"

"Why are you here?" Hermione demanded, ignoring Gryffindor's comment on Harry's state.

"I was checking up on your search for Voldemort's Horcruxes," explained the ghost. "So, how's it going?"

"If you must know, we haven't begun yet," said Hermione.

"Why not?" questioned Godric.

"We were working on a plan for when Harry faces Voldemort," Hermione answered. "Voldemort has decades of experience more than Harry and he has gone through power-boosting rituals as well. Harry has to train, to learn more skills and somehow become more powerful, otherwise he won't stand a chance. It won't matter if Harry has destroyed all of the Horcruxes if he can't defeat Voldemort."

"You think too much," retorted Gryffindor.

"Oh, what would you suggest we do then?" Harry asked, finally joining the argument.

"It's not really difficult. You sneak up behind him and stab him with the sword," exclaimed Godric.

"Oh," said Harry, a bit taken back at the simplicity of the plan.

"It's not that easy," argued Hermione. "How would Harry get past all of Voldemort's Death Eaters and any defensive wards he may have around him, and still sneak up and stab him?"

"Easy," replied the ghost. "You flash 'em your titties." The ghost then lowered his head so that his eyes were level with '/Carmella'/ and '/Natasha'/ and said, "Alright, whip 'em out and lets see if they are '/distraction'/ worthy."

"You disgusting..." Hermione seethed, as she defensively crossed her arms over her chest..

"Alright, I can tell I've upset you," Gryffindor apologized. "So I reckon you'll only have to show me one of your boobs then. Alright, let's see the... right one."

"Get out!" Hermione commanded, pointing to the door. With a disappointed huff, the specter marched to the door.

"Fine, but you two better get cracking," began Gryffindor and he stepped out into the hall. "People are getting hurt out there... and according to the prophesy, Harry's the only one who can defeat Voldemort."

"He's right you know," sighed Hermione.

Harry was stunned, she agreed with Gryffindor's plan? Harry imagined Hermione standing on a hill in front of Voldemort with her blouse open and jiggling her lovely boobs at the snake-like villain. Now, Harry rather liked Hermione's boobs and he could easily get distracted by them himself, but he doubted that Voldemort would have the same problem. After all, there weren't all than many female Death Eaters, were there? Which might lead some people to question Voldemort's "orientation"? He did exclusively hang around Wormtail for a year, and people do have needs.

"People are getting hurt," Hermione concluded.

"Oh, that" Harry said aloud. A part of him was upset that she wasn't talking about her boobs.

"We still need advanced training, but we can search for the Horcruxes at the same time," Hermione announced. And then she abruptly changed subjects by ordering: "Now give me the book."

"Um... Book? What book do you mean?" asked Harry, attempted to play ignorant, even though he knew she was referring to his '/special book/.'

"I assume it's in your room," stated Hermione, not falling for Harry's weak ploy.

Harry gave up and nodded his head. Hopping on his Firebolt, Harry hovered next to Hermione as they left her room and headed to his. After arriving in his room, Harry retrieved the book from his trunk and reluctantly handed it to Hermione.

"The Magic of Making Love: By Thos Antric," Hermione read aloud. "Is this a joke? '/Thomas Antric/'?" she asked rhetorically. "A man named '/T. Antric/' wrote a book on Tantric Magic?"

"What's the big deal? I don't get it," Harry responded to Hermione's question, not realizing it was rhetorical.

"Tantric Magic is magic through sex; this book is about magic and sex. The author's name is obviously meant to be a humorous pseudonym."

"Oh," Harry replied, feeling a little silly for not knowing.

Hermione opened the book and started to thumb through the pages. She paused on one particular page and scrutinized it before asking, "Is that her foot by her own ear or is it his?"

"I was wondering about that myself," replied Harry.

"So, Harry, can I assume that you learned how to perform cunnilingus from this text?" she asked, leaving the quandary of '/whose foot is that?/' for later.

"Yeah," replied Harry. "Um... it's on page three hundred and forty two."

Hermione turned the pages until she got to the section entitled: "/The Hidden Benefits of Being a Parselmouth; Cunnilingus and You!/" It only took Hermione a few minutes to read the entire chapter twice. She closed the book, looked at Harry and asked "Let me guess, you skipped over the theories and benefits when you read this?"

"Well you know how much theory bores me," explained Harry. "And as to the benefits, all I really cared to know was that it would be something that would make you happy."

"Thank you Harry," Hermione said with a bloom in her cheeks. "You really did make me... happy.

"But I think that it's an important point that you skipped the segments on benefits," she continued. "You see, you unknowingly performed a power boosting ritual."

"I un-what-ingly what a what what?" stammered Harry, a little shocked at Hermione's revelation.

"This chapter in the book was written so Parselmouths, like yourself, could use their unique ability to gain a temporary boost in their magical power." Hermione explained. "That would explain how you set the Common Room on fire yesterday and why you /'accidentally' /Summoned my bra earlier. You see, you're not used to having such power and it's taking you a little time to adjust."

"Wow," Harry muttered, still a little stunned. "You said that it was temporary; how long until the boost is gone?"

"Hmm... it says about six to seven months," informed Hermione after she checked the text once more. "So we won't have to do the ritual again for a few months."

A wicked grin appeared on Harry's face as he asked "So can we do it again?"

"No, that would be pointless," Hermione answered, her eyes focused on the text. "The book clearly states that the power boost can only be gained every six to seven months. The tactic doesn't allow for a continual growth in your core through repeated attempts."

"So can we do it again?" repeated Harry, this time putting more emphases on the word "it".

"Harry, the only reason to do it again would be to..." Hermione began and paused as she finally noticed Harry's wicked grin. The witch blushed while Harry wriggled his eyebrows. "Oh... well there would be that... reason, wouldn't there?"

Harry walked over to Hermione and leaned in close to her so that his mouth was very close to her ear. He closed his eyes and focused on the image of a snake in his mind before saying in Parseltongue: "C'mon Hermione, I want to taste you again."

Hermione shuddered with desire as she obviously recalled the event from the last time Harry used his snake-language on her.

"Harry, we have more important things..." Hermione began to argue.

"It'll be fun," Harry said in Parseltongue. He kissed the tender spot behind Hermione's earlobe while gently pushing his Parselmouth magic into her.

"Oh dear," muttered Hermione, her resolve failing. "H-Harry we have to look for the..." Harry placed another one of his magical kisses on the nape of her neck. "My goodness.... t-there's this book to...re... read...." With a deft flick of his fingers, Harry pushed the top of her gown down, exposing her marvelous breasts. Before she could object, Harry's lips enveloped "/Carmella/" and continued to push his Parseltongue magic into Hermione. "H-H-Harryyyy..." Hermione began, her breath was escaping her lungs in short and rapid bursts. "We're wasting.... v-valuable t-t-time..." Harry silenced her momentarily by switching to "/Natasha/" and continuing the same tactic. "Good god, that feels so good.... But we can't, we need..."

Harry pulled himself away from Hermione's nipple and offered in English, "How about you read the book while I eat you out?"

"Okay!" Hermione gleefully shouted and flopped down on the bed as she held the open book in the air and started to read aloud. "'/Welcome to the wonderful world of Love Magic!'/" Harry wasted no time and pulled her gown all the way off. "'/My name is Thomas Antric and I'll be your guide/...'"

Harry gently removed Hermione's already moist knickers and marveled once more at her shaved flower.

"'/Many people have misconceptions about Love Magic. Too many people believe it is just about.../'"

Concentrating on a snake again, Harry began to work his magic on Hermione's lower lips. Hermione immediately started to randomly read certain portions of the text louder and faster.

"'.../SSSSSEX!// But that isn't the case. It just so happ... happens TO BE a p-p-pleasant SSSSSIDE effect/...'"

He gently massaged her clit with his thumb while using his tongue to penetrate her vagina. After a moment, her body glistened with sweat and her honey flowed out of her body. Harry lapped it up like a starving man. Harry twirled his magical tongue in this way and that around Hermione's bud and nether lips for a good amount of time while Hermione continued to read page after page.

"'.../the theory behind THIS is SIMPLE/...'"

After several minutes, Harry decided to change tactics slightly. He decided to add his love based magic to his Parselmouth magic. He started to concentrate on just how much he felt for Hermione and how deeply. Harry's new approach had an instantaneous effect on Hermione; she locked her legs around his head and began to scream out the text.

"'... /THE MORE P-P-P-PLEA//SUR//E THE COUPLE FEEEEEELS, THE MORE POWER ISSSS PUT INTO THE RIT-RITUAL/..."

When Harry had gone down on her before, he was surprised how wet she had gotten, but it was nothing compared to how much she was flowing this time. Hermione's juices ran out of her box and soiled the sheets of the bed. His face had become incredibly damp and the excess dripped steadily down his chin.

Hermione didn't last long after Harry's love magic poured through her body. She dropped Harry's '/special book/' to her side and started to thrash wildly on the bed as an orgasm unlike any Harry had seen her have before rocked her body. She cried out in pleasure as wave after wave of ecstasy hit her. She gushed so much that he nearly choked on her juices. Harry clung to her, riding her flailing body as she gushed again and again.

Harry watched his more-than-a-friend, no, Harry realized, his girlfriend laying on his bed. Hermione was breathing heavily and her luscious body dripping with sweat. Hermione was trembling in ecstasy as she spurted the last remnants of her orgasm. Harry was about to congratulate himself when he noticed that '/Harry, Jr./' was trying to get his attention. The organ was painfully erect and was apparently saddened because he wasn't allowed to play; 'Harry, Jr.' seemed to be crying.

"Looks like you've got a problem there Harry," said Hermione, noticing Harry's aroused state from her prone position. She added in a lusty and husky tone: "I think we need to perform an experiment. I should do to you what I did when I was under the effects of Ginny's Lust Potion. Just to prove once and for all that it wasn't just the potion making me do it, mind you."

"Huh?" Harry muttered, a little taken back at Hermione's tone.

"I think I should do a repeat performance," She continued. Hermione pointed at Harry's aroused state and said: "Let me give you a hand with that." For the second time ever that Harry had known her, Hermione worked up a large amount of saliva in her mouth before licking her palm. Harry shuddered with desire at the memory of Hermione's hand wrapped around '/Harry, Jr./'. "Now strip!" commanded Hermione.

A smile appeared on Harry's face as he tore off his clothing. Harry stood completely starkers in front of Hermione.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to sit next to me," stated Hermione as she propped herself up on her elbows. "My knees are really shaky from that last one. I've never felt an orgasm like that before," Hermione added and Harry beamed with pride. "What did you do differently? I mean the first time you went down on me was spectacular, but this time... wow!"

"Oh, I just tapped into my love based magic, that's all," Harry offered while eagerly awaiting Hermione's touch.

"You tapped into your love magic?" asked Hermione, an inquisitive look appeared on her face. "But how - ?"

"Questions later," Harry interrupted. He usually didn't like to be rude to Hermione but '/Harry, Jr./' desperately wanted to play and then take a nap. "Handjob now!"

"Aren't we impatient?" Hermione jokingly chided. She sat up and started to move the '/special book/' off of the bed when her eyes caught something on the page that had flopped open when she dropped it during her massive orgasm. By the looks of it, the book had opened to a section near the end, a section that Harry hadn't read yet. Hermione's eyes bulged as she scanned the page. "Harry, get me your potion supplies!" she commanded. "I found a ritual which will lead us to the Horcruxes!"

"Bu... but... but..." Harry stammered pathetically. Hermione had promised a handjob, and now she was talking about a ritual. This, Harry thought, was totally unfair.

"It's a ritual designed to locate missing or hidden items!" Hermione cheered, oblivious to Harry's predicament. "Hopefully we can use it to find where the Horcruxes are."

"Bu... but... but..." Harry stammered even more pathetically. This time Hermione looked up into Harry's dejected face.

"Harry, don't worry. The ritual requires me to use my hands to stimulate you," Hermione explained.

"Huh?" asked Harry, he hated it when she used big words, especially when he was focused on the lost opportunity of another handjob.

"Handjob, Harry," Hermione clarified, knowing that her use of '/big words/' threw Harry for a loop, specifically when he was already distracted. "Now go get your potion supplies."

Harry gleefully hopped into the air and scampered to retrieve his supplies like a boy on Christmas morning going to fetch his presents. Within seconds Harry had returned with his arms full. He was so happy about Hermione's promise of a ritual that would have her use her hands to stimulate him that he had forgotten what Hermione had actually requested. He remembered that she had wanted his potion supplies, but he was afraid that she would need something else. So to be on the safe side, Harry not only brought Hermione his potion supplies and cauldron, he also brought along his Herbology supplies, his telescope... and for some odd reason, a pair of his dirty socks.

While muttering "not this, or this," Hermione discarded Harry's telescope and herbology supplies. But when Hermione was about to fling the socks away, she paused and rechecked the ingredient list in the book. "That's strange," she said to no one in particular. "I do need these." She then unceremoniously tossed the socks into the cauldron along with several other liquids and powders from Harry's potion supplies. After stirring the concoction clockwise four times and twirling it twice, Hermione commanded: "Sit on the bed, Harry."

Harry complied and sat next to Hermione. '/Harry, Jr./' was happily looking up at the ceiling, eagerly waiting for playtime to commence. Hermione slid off of the bed and knelt in-between Harry's legs. She dipped her hands into the cauldron and began to explain the ritual to Harry.

"While I'm stimulating you, we both have to focus on the object or objects we are searching for," she explained clinically. Hermione promptly noticed the dazed and stunned expression on Harry's face and decided to repeat what she had just said so that Harry could understand. "While I'm giving you a handjob, we have to think about the Horcruxes."

"Oh. Yeah, I knew that," Harry tried to reply nonchalantly.

"Also we each have to chant an incantation throughout the ritual," continued Hermione. "Yours is '/Ructo// Vermis/' while I have to chant '/Praefoco// Pullus/'."

"/Ructo// Vermis ,/" Harry repeated.

Hermione took her hands, which were now completely coated with a clear oily liquid, out of the cauldron and began to gently coat Harry's organ. The liquid was warn and, along with Hermione's hands working it into Harry's member, made '/Harry, Jr./' cry just a little more, but this time Harry would have said that they were definitely tears of joy. Hermione started to use both of her hands to stroke Harry's shaft (mind you, Harry wasn't '/hung like a hippogriff/,' it's just that Hermione had tiny hands), and placed her mouth so that her lips were hovering over the crown.

"/Praefoco// Pullus ,/" Hermione began to chant her portion of the spell, her warm breath danced across his crown and Harry closed his eyes and started to chant in counterpoint to her. "/Ructo// Vermis, Ructo Vermis.."/

After Harry repeated his half of the incantation for the third time, he felt the magic pour over his body and he started to feel light-headed. Hermione's hands started to pump in cadence with her chanting.

"/Praefoco// Pullus, Praefoco Pullus."/

"/Ructo// Vermis, Ructo Vermis.."/

Then something strange happened; Harry felt as if he had left his body. He could still feel himself chanting while being pleasured, but he also felt as if he was floating. He opened his eyes and noticed that he seemed to be hovering near the ceiling of the room. As an experiment, Harry looked at his hand as he floated near the ceiling and was surprised to see that it was transparent, as if he was a ghost. Harry looked down and saw himself lying on the bed with Hermione wanking him off while they were both chanting.

"This feels weird," Harry said as he witnessed his corporeal body.

"I know what you mean," Hermione replied. Harry looked down and saw a ghost-like Hermione hovering below him. She was transparent like he was, but Harry could see as well as feel that she had her hands wrapped around '/Harry, Jr./'. Harry marveled at how nice astral-Hermione's boobs looked. "Harry, are you looking at my breasts?"

"Yes," Harry replied while not taking his eyes off of her luscious mounds. "Yes I am."

"Harry stop look at my tits," Hermione commanded. "We have to find the Horcruxes!"

"It's really hard thinking about the Horcruxes when you're holding my willy like that." Harry complained. "Besides, I like looking at your titties, they're really nice."

"Thank you Harry," said Hermione. Harry couldn't tell for certain, but he swore that astral-Hermione was blushing at his compliment. "You can thoroughly examine them later."

"Promise?" asked Harry.

"Yes, I promise," she answered. "Let's try and find the Horcruxes."

After Harry begrudgingly agreed to stop focusing on Hermione's boobs and focus on Voldemort's Horcruxes, both Harry and Hermione plummeted toward the floor; actually their astral projections plummeted while their bodies remained where they were. They rapidly fell past floor after floor of the castle. Harry recognized the dungeons and the kitchen as they shot by them before they felt like they were slowing down. Their descent had paused, but where they ended up, Harry couldn't tell. The couple was in total darkness and was unable to discern where they were.

"What's going on?" Hermione's asked. Harry couldn't see where she was in the darkness, but he could definitely feel her hands still wroking his organ.

"I don't know," Harry responded. He heard the sounds of dripping water coming from somewhere nearby. It felt oddly familiar to Harry, and it also felt as if something important was there in the darkness. "Did the ritual work?"

"I hope so," Hermione replied.

Another second passed in the darkness and suddenly, Harry felt as if they were flying. At first, it felt as if he were passing through the dark and dank air, but then it felt as if he was hurtling through solid rock. After a few seconds of flying through rock, Harry's spirit began to fly through the early night sky. He could still feel Hermione's hands on him as he looked behind himself and saw the shrinking castle of Hogwarts as they rocketed away from it. For a full minute, Harry and Hermione flew through the darkening sky when they started to approach a cluster of lights. They dove at the cluster of lights and Harry quickly recognized it as Diagon Alley. Before either one could guess what they were doing there, Harry and Hermione's spirits passed Diagon Alley and its assorted shops and flew into the infamous Knockturn Alley.

The pair slowed as they neared Borgin & Burkes. Their spirits passed through the shop's door and saw that Mr. Borgin was speaking to an old and crumpled looking wizard.

"You won't find a nicer piece anywhere else, I assure you," Borgin announced as he handed the unknown wizard a simple locket. It was obvious that the two older wizards had no idea that they were being spied upon by Harry and Hermione. For some indiscernible reason, Harry's attention was drawn to the locket, and it felt like something was telling him that this was one of the items he and Hermione were looking for.

"That's one of the Horcruxes!" Hermione declared triumphantly.

"Wait," Harry said as he examined the locket and recognized it from one of the Pensieve memories that Dumbledore had shared with him. "That's Salazar Slytherin's locket, the one R. A. B. stole from the cave before we could retrieve it."

Harry and Hermione watched as the unknown wizard paid Borgin and left the shop with the locket.

"So this R. A. B. bloke nicked Voldemort's Horcrux and sold it to Borgin?" Harry asked.

"That doesn't make sense, why would he sell it to Borgin," answered Hermione. "According to the note he left in the fake locket, he intended to destroy it. He or she probably died before he or she got the chance to do it and the Horcrux somehow ended up here."

Before they could continue their discussion, Harry and Hermione flew off into the night again. The couple flew for a brief amount of time before descending into London. They rapidly approached a building that Harry recognized; it was the orphanage where Tom Riddle grew up. Harry and Hermione passed through the brick wall of the building and promptly started to go down through the floor. After a second or two of falling through darkness, they ended up in a dimly lit chamber. There was an object that was covered with a black sheet in the middle of the room. It was this object that Harry's attention was drawn to.

"So, which founder do you think this, whatever it might be, belong to?" Harry asked.

"With the locket and the ring being Slytherin's, I would have to guess that all the other Horcruxes would be from the other founders; either Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Gryffindor," replied Hermione.

A moment later, the pair was off again. Their spirits soared across the sky for some time before they once again descended toward the ground. However this time, both Harry and Hermione recognized the building they were headed to. It was the family home of the "Noble and Most Ancient House of Black," number twelve, Grimmauld Place.

"Why are we here?" asked Harry as they flew through the dark walls and entered the dusty house.

"I don't know..." began Hermione.

The pair entered the kitchen and stopped when they reached a grimy pile of rags that Kreacher had called his bed before Harry had ordered him to go to Hogwarts. Placed on top of the pile was a golden cup with a badger engraved on one side.

"That must've been Hufflepuff's," stated Harry. "But why would R. A. B. hide it here...?"

"I am so dense!" Hermione announced. "R. A. B. must have been Regulus Black, Sirius' brother!'

"Huh?" asked Harry.

"Yes, remember when we were here and had to clean up the place? We found a locket that we couldn't open. That must've been Slytherin's locket," Hermione explained. "Regulus must have taken the Horcruxes that he managed to steal and simply hid them here until he could find a way to destroy them. But he was murdered before he could finish the job."

"And then after Sirius died, Fletcher stole a load of stuff from the house, including one Horcrux, and sold it to Borgin," Harry concluded, finally catching on to Hermione's line of thought. "Boy, this Horcrux Hunt is gonna be a lot easier than I thought."

With that, the couple soared out of Grimmauld Place and into the sky once more. This time, Harry was unable to keep track of where they were heading because the ground below them had turned pitch black, as if there were no towns or homes to give off lights. Soon, they approached an eerie looking keep. They quickly passed through the moldy rocks that made up the walls and entered a dark and clammy throne room. Sitting on an ornately decorated throne was none other than Voldemort. Kneeling in front of the villain was the kidnapped ice-cream maker extraordinaire, Florean Fortescue. The confection creator was trembling in fear as Voldemort sampled a bright orange scoop of ice cream. As Voldemort worked the frozen treat in his mouth, Hermione stated, "And finally, the last Horcrux, Voldemort himself."

"Ah, very good, Fortescue," Voldemort announced. "You get to live for another night. Tomorrow, I want 'Rocky Road,' but with no fucking marshmallows! I loath marshmallows! Heaven help you if I see one single marshmallow in my ice-cream!"

"But what about Nagini?" asked Harry, trying his best to ignore the villain gorging himself on ice-cream. "Shouldn't she be one of the Horcruxes?"

"Why?" Hermione asked, her voice sounding a bit perplexed.

"Dumbledore reckoned that the reason Voldemort was able to control her so well was because he had made the snake into one of his Horcruxes," Harry explained.

"But Voldemort is a Parselmouth, which means he can order the snake around," Hermione countered. "And when you witnessed Nagini's attack on Mr. Weasley, Voldemort was actually possessing her at the time. That is why Voldemort has such good control over her.

"Voldemort is obsessed with becoming immortal," Hermione continued to explain. "He placed fragments of his soul into different items, thereby creating the Horcruxes. This would assure his immortality. We know that when a Horcrux is destroyed, like the diary and ring, that fragment of his soul is destroyed along with it. So why would Voldemort risk putting a piece of his soul in a mortal creature? When the creature dies, so does the fragment of Voldemort's soul."

"What if Nagini is like a Basilisk?" Harry retorted. "What if she could live for centuries?"

"She could still get sick and die. A rock could fall on her head and kill her. A larger predator could eat her. Nagini could even starve to death," Hermione listed. "Dozens of things could happen that could cause a creature's death. That's why all the Horcruxes are inanimate objects; things that cannot die. Voldemort would never risk his immortality by creating a Horcrux in a living creature. There are too many unpredictable things that could happen."

"Oh," Harry replied simply when he suddenly felt a familiar tug, much like the tug associated with Portkey travel. However, the tugging sensation wasn't located behind his navel, like Portkey travel, Harry felt the tug come from '/Harry, Jr./' and his luggage.

In the blink of an eye, Harry had returned to his body which was still lying on his bed. The young wizard was breathing heavily and his loins felt as if they had just spent themselves. It was odd, he didn't feel his orgasm, but he definitely felt the after effects of one. He was about to ask Hermione about it when he saw her face and paused. Harry didn't need to ask Hermione if he had cummed, he could see it on her face. The whitish goop was slowly dripping down her forehead and in-between her eyes. It looked as if Hermione was deep in thought and she had not yet noticed Harry's cum upon her face.

"Um, Hermione..." began Harry. He wanted to warn her about the mess on her face, but was trying to find a delicate way of telling her about it. He couldn't just say '/Sorry Hermione, but it looks like I just came on your face/' now could he? However, Harry's attention was diverted from Hermione's predicament when another voice coming from the corner of the room spoke up.

"You know, for beginners, you're doing pretty well," the ghost of Gryffindor commented. He was sitting on Neville's bed and he appeared to be jotting down notes on a spare piece of parchment. "First off, Harry did a bang up job, the way Hermione was gushing, cheers mate. I tell you if Salazar knew he could do that with his haughty '/I can talk to snakes/' thing, he would've gotten more arse. Maybe then he wouldn't have been so bitter." Gryffindor continued. Both Harry and Hermione were so much in shock that neither one even attempted to cover their naked forms. As a matter of fact, Hermione was so shocked by the ghost's presence, that she still had her hands around '/Harry, Jr./'. "As for you, Hermione, you did fairly well. But there is room for improvement."

It was this point that Gryffindor showed the two naked and sweaty teens the parchment. The page was full of crude drawings. The drawings were crude both in style (stick figures with overly large circles for boobs and something that looked like a huge cigar for '/Harry, Jr./') and subject matter.

"Hey, that's a one way exit on me, mister!" Harry shouted upon finally recognizing one particular drawing which showed what he assumed was Hermione's index finger going into a notorious orifice in Harry's body.

"C'mon Harry," Gryffindor argued. "Think of it as a '/how'd you do/'." The ghost decided to illustrate his argument by forming a tight "o" with his thumb and forefinger from his left hand and them promptly shoved his right forefinger into the "o."

"THAT IS IT!" Hermione shouted. The naked witch shot up and Harry could tell that every muscle in her body was tense with rage.

"Nice shave job there love," the specter commented as he indicated Hermione's crotch. "I told you brainy birds are naught-"

"GET THE HELL OUT!" screamed Hermione.

"A-ha!" exclaimed Gryffindor as he waggled a finger at Hermione's face and the goop that was silently dripping down it. "Next time turn your head, love."

"What are you talking - ?" Hermione began to demand before she started to violently tear at her right eye. "OH SWEET BABY MAVE! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"

Obviously Harry's ejaculate had finally seeped into one of Hermione's eyes. She continued to howl as she started to frantically look around the room with one eye open. Harry realized she must've been looking for something to wash the seminal fluid out of her eye. That is when Harry decided to help her out.

He snatched his wand off of the bedside table and performed a simple Water Jet Charm at Hermione. It was supposed to be a simple charm that caused a gentle stream of water to flow from the tip of the caster's wand. Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, Harry had forgotten about his power boost. Instead of a gentle stream of water flowing from Harry's wand tip, a rather large wave exploded out of it. The wave was at least two feet taller than Harry and not only did it knock Hermione to the floor, it also flooded the room.

"Oh, boy, this isn't good," Gryffindor declared and scurried out of the room, obviously afraid of Hermione's impending wrath. "I'm out of here."

Hermione slowly pulled herself off of the water covered floor and to her feet. Not only was she completely soaked, but her right eye was puffy and red. She took a calming breath before addressing Harry.

"I think it would be best..." she said slowly, as if she was having difficulty controlling her anger, "... if you leave this room, right now."

"But this is my room, Hermione," Harry said stupidly. It was stupid because Hermione felt compelled to repeat her order in a very load voice.

"LEAVE THIS ROOM, RIGHT NOW!" she snapped.

His senses finally returning to him, Harry ran like a bat out of hell out of his room. Harry didn't stop running until he reached the safety of the Common Room. He reckoned that it would be for the best if he were to just sleep on the couch in front of the fire. It was then that he realized that he didn't have a sheet to cover himself with, nor did he have any clothes on. He thought about conjuring some items, like some clothes, but he was afraid that because he was still unaccustomed to his power boost, he would end up conjuring a lacy and frilly sleeping gown instead of a pair of boxers. Harry sighed and spoke aloud to no one in particular: "I need some help."

Soft popping noises alerted Harry to the presence of two house-elves, Kreacher and Dobby. Before Harry could cover his bits, the two elves commented on his nakedness.

"Master Harry Brat is more wrinkly in areas then Kreacher is," the ancient elf cackled pointing a finger at Harry's organ.

"I'm not wrinkly!" Harry defended himself against Kreacher's statement.

"Harry Potter is the Greatest Wizard ever!" Dobby declared as he genuflected. "Far greater than all the Malfoys combined! Dobby had the bad fortune of dressing former masters, so's Dobby knows what Dobby is talking about"

"I'm greater then Lucius and Draco, combined?" asked Harry to which Dobby replied by energetically nodding his head. He knew he wasn't small, but he never thought of himself as being huge either. Harry had the decency to cover himself up with both hands before continuing. "Well, that's good to know," he took a great amount of masculine pride in the fact that he was more endowed then the entire male portion of the Malfoy family.

"Then again, Master Draccy was only tweelves the last times Dobby dressed him and even Dobby is greater than Master Luscius," Dobby added. Harry's masculine pride was suddenly shattered in a thousand pieces, Harry couldn't imagine that Dobby was well endowed and every twelve year old is under developed. So the fact that Harry was '/greater than all the Malfoys combined/' wasn't such high praise after all. The guilt ridden House-elf punched himself in the head for insulting his former master before continuing. "Former master never made former mistress happy. Dobby always had to help finish former mistress off when former master fell asleep -"

"Okay stop right there," Harry blurted out and he held out both of his hands if front of him as if they would shield him from the nasty image of Dobby being... intimate with Narcissa. This action, of course, exposed his bits again.

"Much more wrinkly," Kreacher added as Dobby bowed once more to '/Harry, Jr./'.

"Damnit," Harry cursed as he dropped his hands to his sides. It was pointless to try and cover himself now. "Listen, my magic's gone all wonky and I can't conjure anything. Could you two make me some pajamas and a bed to sleep in, please?"

Kreacher grumbled and snapped his fingers. A humble and somewhat lumpy bed appeared in front of Harry. With Dobby's snapping fingers, Harry was clothed in a fine set of silk pajamas. Of course the words "/World Greatest Wizard/" were embroidered on the font of his shirt with an arrow underneath pointing to Harry's crotch.

"Wills yous be needing anything else, Harry Potter sir?" Dobby asked.

"No you two can leave," said Harry. With two pops, the House elves disappeared. Exhausted from this long and adventurous day, Harry fell asleep the moment his head touched his pillow.


"Harry, it's time to wake up," Hermione's soft voice drew Harry out of his dreamless slumber. He was stunned to see that her right eye was still red and puffy-looking.

"Morning, Hermione," Harry greeted her as he sat up. "I'm sorry about your eye."

"It was just an accident," Hermione began to say. She abruptly stopped speaking when she saw what was written on his shirt. "My, aren't we confident?"

"Um, err..." Harry stammered, totally embarrassed by his shirt and hurt by Hermione's statement. Her comment made Harry think that she believed that '/Harry, Jr./' was unworthy of such praise.

"Well, I happen to think you are the greatest," Hermione cooed as she slipped her petite hand down Harry's pants and gave a good morning squeeze to '/Harry, Jr./' "Especially down here."

"Thanks," Harry said sheepishly and he felt a blush creep into his cheeks.

"We can play later," Hermione stated and she pulled her hand away from Harry's member.

"Hey!" protested Harry. "You can't just squeeze a bloke's thing and then stop."

"We have something to discuss," she said gravely.

"Is it about the Horcruxes?" asked Harry.

"No, something else. Remember when you performed oral sex on me yesterday?" Hermione asked. "I told you it felt different, more intense than the first time you did it. You told me you added your love based power to your Parseltongue magic. That got me thinking and I read the segments in '/The Magic of Making Love/' concerning the two acts you performed on me, using your Parselmouth abilities and 'Pleasure Pressure Points.' Well according to the book, the pressure point technique you used on me during the wedding should have only made me feel a little pleasure, not a mind blowing orgasm. I can assume you tapped into you love magic yesterday during the wedding?"

"Yes, I thought you needed to relax a bit," Harry responded.

"I would like to run a little experiment concerning you love based power," Hermione said.

Harry's heart leapt up as well as '/Harry, Jr./' at the notion of Hermione's experiment.

"Not that type of experiment," chuckled Hermione noticing Harry's reaction. "I want you to perform a simple Cheering Charm on me."

"That's it? A Cheering Charm?" asked Harry, a little put out. He was hoping for a little romp with Hermione. "Can we do this experiment nude at least?" he asked hopefully.

"No," Hermione said and stood up. "I want you to perform the Charm like you would normally. But don't tap into you love core. With your power boost, there should be a fairly powerful reaction on my part."

Harry got out of the elf-conjured bed and pointed his wand at Hermione.

"Now, wave your wand at me in a half-crescent motion, like the mouth on a smiley face and say '/Exhilaro// Hilaro/.' Remember to put emphasize on the '/Roh/' sound at the end." Hermione lectured.

Harry followed her instructions and said in a loud and clear voice "/Exhilaro// Hilaro!/"

Harry felt the charm spring from his wand and fly silently at Hermione. A bright and goofy grin appeared on Hermione's face instantaneously as she stood in front of Harry.

"Good job, Harry!" Hermione announced. She tapped herself on the head with her own wand and said "/Finite/" and the goofy grin was gone. "Now try it again, but focus on your core, focus on loving thoughts."

It was easy for Harry to do that, he simply recalled how he felt when he blurted out that he loved Hermione at the reception; warm, happy, and complete. He pointed his wand at Hermione once more and said "/Exhilaro// Hilaro!/"

With a loud bang, Hermione was thrown over the couch and out of sight.

"Whoops," Harry nervously exclaimed. "Hermione?"



To be continued.
6 comments

anonymous readerReport

2011-07-11 07:10:13
bullshit story! harry is gay dude!

anonymous readerReport

2011-03-25 06:09:28
love it but not as good ass sisters black saga

Redneck4lifeReport

2010-06-01 02:05:22
Hmm. It seems like someone isn't very articulate in their comments. WRITE CLEARLY AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE BEFORE YOU WRITE IT. Lulz.

READERReport

2009-08-26 17:56:29
I liked the way that you used the Harry Potter books as references, but you don't over due it with the fantasy of Harry and Hermione when they have oral sex, which is really great I find. Keep up the good work:D

Anonymous readerReport

2009-08-16 23:59:37
over a sofa? :S ouch. not many browny points there!

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