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Introduction:

Many people have emailed me especially requesting a page where I just have jokes about women, since they want to be sexist bastards, but just can't remember any of the sexist ones and/or are too lazy to look for them sifting through other jokes, so yes i know these jokes are repeats of my other jokes, but just bear with me.......
Why do only 10% of women go to heaven?
Because if all of them went it would be hell.

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
None. It should be open by the time she brings it.

Why is a Launderette a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to keep you in the manner to which you've become accustomed.

How can you tell when your wife is really aroused in bed?
She puts down her nail file.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something really clever?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me.."

How do you repair a woman's watch?
You don't need to. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is shouting through the letter box, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created
Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

P.S. This is all I can remember for now, so if you feel like I've missed a few, just add them in the comments so everyone can enjoy them, thankyou.

P.S.S. Yes.... I also know these jokes arn't mine, they're the time-less classics which no doubt most guys would have used on girls throughout their lives, the reason for me putting them up is in the introduction.
110 comments

anonymous readerReport

2012-06-05 09:46:34
b4 i post this comment i want 2 say that i respect women ok...i hav a joke 4 u...my ex wife rung me up yesterday asking for more muny for the kids...i said 'fuk u get half my pay...u got the house,car and 7o% of the savings in the bank...wat more do u want? She just kept goin on and on and on so i said 'listen go draw the muny out of the bank and go buy urself a short mini skirt,low cut top,fish net stockings and a pair of high heels..then go stand on a corner and start hooking'...And then hung up...well later that nite she rang e bak and told me she had dun wat i said 4 her 2 do and she made $831.25c...i said 'well good on ya...well dun...but who was the cheap prick who gave u the 25c?...she replied 'all of them'. Hope u like it enjoy.

anonymous readerReport

2011-12-16 15:29:46
I don't get why people are telling the ladies to calm down, stop bitching and it was just a "joke". I haven't seen one negative comment from a girl at all? You guys need to stop being drama queens xD

anonymous readerReport

2011-12-16 15:28:13
I don't get why people are telling the ladies to calm down, stop bitching and it was just a "joke". I haven't seen one negative comment from a girl at all? You guys need to stop being drama queens xD

anonymous readerReport

2011-11-25 02:58:17
haha very funny lol
P.S.i am a woman
rating 10/10

anonymous readerReport

2011-09-06 01:05:38
Ladies...if you're too "PC" to have a sense of humor, do the world a favor you frigid, feminist bitch and DIE!!! I'm a woman too and I cracked up at the jokes....

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