Gender: Male Age: Secret Location: N/A
|Introduction: TRUE STORY!!!!!|
One day, four girls in bikinis were eating peanut butter jelly and ass hair sandwiches.
“God fucking damn this is a hairy peanut butter jelly and ass hair sandwich!” said Lindi, a blond in a pink micro mini string bikini that was not for the meek.
“Oh I got my old boyfriend Tony to let me use his ass hair.” Said Zelda. Zelda was a thin brunette in an orange Lycra Brazilian style mini bikini that offered scant coverage. “He’s Italian and very hairy. I just spread a portion of newspaper on the floor and had Tony stand on it while I dry shaved off his ass hair. You have to do a dry shave because it is easier to collect the ass hair when you are done. You know a dry ass shave is shaving off the ass hair without water and of course, no shaving cream.”
“I remember Tony.” Suzi, a dark haired Asian in a floral yellow micro mini sting bikini which did little to cover her huge nipples. “He is hairy.”
“You don’t know the half of it, sister. He’s totally hairy front and back and his shlong smells like pepperoni, ammonia, old fish and arm pit.” Chuckled Zelda, “But if you shave an ass like mine for peanut butter jelly and ass hair sandwiches, you’d get very little ass hair if any. You need a hairy man ass for a hearty peanut butter jelly and ass hair sandwich.”
“Well, these certainly are delish!” Said Rachael, a bubbly brunette in a blue fishnet see-thru bikini with Rio cut tie side bottoms and a tiny top with adjustable triangle panels. “How did you make them?”
“Well,” said Zelda “I told you how I dry shaved Tony’s ass to get the ass hair. He has the hairy Italian man ass for a hearty peanut butter jelly and ass hair sandwich. Then you just have to spread a generous layer of peanut butter on one slice of bread using a butter knife. Clean the butter knife with paper towel or use another butter knife so the peanut butter and jelly stay separate. Use a butter knife to spread jelly or jam on the other slice of bread. Sprinkle some ass hair on the slice of bread with peanut butter on it, and put the two slices of bread together so that the peanut butter/ass hair and jelly sides are facing each other. Cut sandwich diagonally and enjoy!”
Zelda smiled and took another bite of her sandwich. She tugged on the top of her orange Lycra Brazilian style mini bikini and looked at Suzi, the dark haired Asian in a floral yellow micro mini sting bikini. Both of Suzi’s nipples were visible. Each one peeked out on both sides of her tiny triangular micro mini floral yellow top. Suzi had huge nipples. She noticed Zelda looking at her breasts and smiling at her.
“Oh my goodness” said Suzi, “You can see both my nipples with this bikini top. I have huge nipples. There’s only one kind of regular bra I can wear that I like that covers my nipples well. It’s not like my tits are really big, I’m just average, but my nipples are huge.” Suzi went on, gently shrugging her shoulders and pushing her breasts together. “Like it’s asking too much for a bra to cover my large silver dollar plus size areolas …”
“I feel your pain, sister,” said Zelda with a thin smile. “But your huge nipples are beautiful” Zelda imagined what it would be like to clamp her mouth on Suzi’s dark haired musky Asian tampon socket.
“God fuckin’ damn bitch” blurted out Lindi tugging on the bottom of her pink micro mini string bikini “did you have to suck his stinky shwang for the ass hair?”
“I tried,” said Zelda, “I figured it was the least I could do. You need a hairy man ass for a hearty peanut butter jelly and ass hair sandwich. Those sandwiches are pretty damn good, aren’t they?”
The girls all nodded yes
“Well I tried to suck on his shwantz but like I said, his cock smells like pepperoni, ammonia, old fish and arm pit.” Zelda went on “I figured I’d tea bag him, but his balls were so rank, I just skipped the sack and tossed his salad while I gave him a reach around. Ass can only taste so bad, but at the end of the day, it’s a judgment call.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“Yuck!” cried Suzi “I let guys eat my ass and stuff, but I’d rather suck off a dead goat than eat that man’s ass!”
“I bet your ass is yummerz!” said Rachael seductively adjusting triangle panels on the tiny top of the blue fishnet see-thru bikini she was wearing and looking at Suzi with Sapphic lust.
“Well, I’d let you suck my ass,” said giggled Suzi pulling at the top of her floral yellow micro mini sting bikini in a vain attempt to cover her huge silver dollar plus size areolas. “You’re cute as a button!”
““God fucking damn, Suzi,” yelped Lindi in her pink micro mini string bikini “I’d love to chow on your chocolate starfish. That’s what’s cute as a button!”
“Oh my” giggled Suzi “You called my butt hole a chocolate starfish and said it's cute as a button!”
“You know I’d love maw on your cornhole, Suzi” confessed Zelda adjusting the bottoms of her orange lycra Brazilian style mini bikini “I’d stick my tongue as far as I could up your puckered gapping bunghole and hum “When the Saints Come Marching In”
“Oh I love that song! How romantic!” giggled Suzi as she got on all fours on the ground, lifted her ass into the air, arched her back, and gently rested her head on the ground pushing her buns up high. The string thong bottom of her floral yellow micro mini sting bikini left nothing to the imagination. It didn’t really cover much of Suzi’s cheerio, which looked like a deliciously agitated mollusk. Zelda got on the ground behind Suzi and gently pulled Suzi’s ass cheeks apart. The string thong bottom of her floral yellow micro mini sting bikini still rested on her puckered and slightly gaping turd cutter and ran the length of her perineum, but that was about to change as Zelda pulled the string away and pulled Suzi’s ass cheeks far apart so her sheriff’s badge was a gaping fudge tunnel. Zelda let out a moan as she lowered her face to Suzi’s balloon knot and rammed her tongue as far up it as she could. Then Zelda pushed her face further into Suzi’s ass pushing her tongue even further up Suzi’s ass hole. Zelda and Suzi both let out a moan. Zelda started to hum “When the Saints Go Marching In”.
“Oh Zelda,” said Rachael “I can see your poop chute would be delish!” said Rachael pulling at the bottoms of the blue fishnet see-thru bikini she was wearing and looking at Zelda’s anus with Sapphic lust. Rachael got on the ground behind Zelda and gently pulled Zelda’s ass cheeks apart and moved the string of the orange Lycra Brazilian style mini bikini bottom away from Zelda’s puckered brown eye. Rachael gave Zelda’s puckered sphincter a long sucking French kiss.
“Yummerz” said Rachael “Your bung pie is tasty! It tastes like chicken. Really good chicken.” Rachael buried her tongue deeper into Zelda’s chickeny ass hole. “Like a chicken cordon blue. Chicken, but hammy and Swiss cheesy. It’s yummerz!”
“God fucking damn Rachael” moaned Lindi pulling at her pink micro mini string bikini “I want to suck your ass” Lindi got on the ground behind Rachael and gently pulled Rachael’s ass cheeks apart and moved the string of the orange Lycra Brazilian style mini bikini bottom away from Rachael’s puckered brown eye. Mindi gave Rachael’ ass hole a long sucking French kiss.
“God fucking damn Rachael” moaned Lindi “Your ass tastes like a fine Lobster Bisque!”
“Oh that’s because I combined some lobster and sherry in a bowl, set it aside while I melted some butter in a medium saucepan over low heat. I stirred it constantly, until it was smooth and bubbly." replied Rachael "I kept stirring as I gradually added milk. I continued cooking and stirring until the mixture thickened, then I stirred in some steak sauce and salt, pepper . I added the lobster and sherry I had set aside, covered it and let it simmer for 9 or 10 minutes. Then I gave myself an enema with it before I came here for the peanut butter jelly and ass hair sandwiches. Is it delish and yummerz?"
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