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Introduction:

TRUE
One day some hot young eighteen year old chicks were at the local mall talking about consensual sex between two consenting adults.

“Last night Josh was feeling down, so I knelt down over him and evacuated my bowels into a glass mixing bowl for him. He just loves that. He has a real romantic streak in him...” said Sandra. “I thought everything was everything was ok until Josh noticed my turd had lots of corn in it.”

Sandra was a thin blond with big eyes, nice boobs and a cute tight butt.

“Corn?” said Jenny

Jenny was a thin brunet with big eyes, nice boobs and a cute tight butt.

“Yes” replied Sandra “Josh knew Walter asked me to go to the Cornfest at Angell Park in Sun Prairie. I told Josh I wouldn’t go to Cornfest with Walter because Walter would want me to suck on his wang and I know from experience that Walter’s shlong is ugly and smells like ammonia, limburger and, old sweat socks. It’s so gross! I tried to teabag him, but his balls smelled even worse. I ended up tossing his salad. Ass can only taste so bad, but at the end of the day, it’s a judgment call. Then I let him squirt a load of man milk up my pooper. So I told Josh I wouldn’t go with Walter because if I did I’d at least have to tongue his ass and give him a reach around.”

“Wow! You told Josh all of that?” said Jenny

“Yuppers, we tell each other everything” confided Sandra, “So when Josh saw the corn in my poop he knew I must have gone to Cornfest with Walter, and I did. I’m a bad liar. I ended up tossing Walter’s salad and giving him a reach around. I don’t see what the big deal is. What’s the point of lying? Josh was bothered by it, but He wouldn’t admit it.

“Men” said Jenny

“Yeah men…how strange they are” pondered Sandra, “But Josh was upset that I didn’t tell him about it while Walters spunk was still up my junk so he could felch it out.”

“Oh yummers” said Jenny

“Let’s go to the Cinnabon! Exclaimed Sandra “There’s this dreamy guy who works there and he makes my muff moist. I’d love to sit on his face while he hums the “Star Spangled Banner”. I’d push my muff into his mouth so my clitoris would the feel vibration of each note sending waves of vibratory pleasure into my moist warm cooter. By moist, I don’t mean moist like a cake, I mean moist like meat. My cooch is meaty moist, not cakey moist. I bet I’d probably climax on the part that goes up real high at the end of the song…”and the home of the freeeeeeeeeeeee” and I’d cum and collapse onto a mound of loose sweaty joy.”

“And the home of the brave” sang Jenny

“Just think if Jesus came back and he was wearing glamorous, shiny, yet sheer pantyhose. Pondered Sandra “These pantyhose would have all the standard luxury features such as comfort waistband and flat seams. Good value for money. Ideal for everyday and special wear. Those sheer gloss finish pantyhose would be perfect for either everyday wear or a fun night out and as they would be sheer to waist they could be worn with the shortest of skirts. They would have a reinforced toe and would be great for hours of dancing!”

“Praise Jesus” said Jenny

“I bet the sun oil sheen of those pantyhose would make the Lord Jesus’ legs look as though they had just been moisturized, leaving them glistening and sun-kissed.” Speculated Sandra “Those pantyhose would be incredible; it would really appear as if Jesus Christ’s legs had a slight coat of oil over them! Maybe Jesus would wear a two piece set featuring a Lycra halter bra with super sexy satin bows. That outfit would be guaranteed to turn up the heat. The set would also have to include a matching garter thong. Jesus could wear that thong over the glamorous, shiny, yet sheer pantyhose.”

“Oh I’d suck the consubstantial Godish man juice out of his unbegotten shlong!” admitted Jenny

Our ladies have arrived at the Cinnabon. A pimply faced teen aged boy and a middle aged troll like woman are working the counter. It looked as if the pus from a couple of the larger pimples on the young mans face could frost an entire cini mini or two. His name tag read “Manny”.

“May I help you?” croaked Manny,

In his dreams Manny heard the thin blond with big eyes, nice boobs and a cute tight butt say…

“Yes, we’d like you to maw at both of our musky mounds until you are ready to insert your Johnson alternately into each of them and pump squirting hot jets of baby batter into whichever quivering vulvic quim that you fancy.”

In the reality that is the time space continuum Manny heard…

“Gay Mr. Jesus

Eight inches uncut

Aggressively righteous

Lubed up butt

Dominant top

Or bottom as well

He don’t leave no marks

But he’ll damn you to hell

Gay Mr. Jesus

Cross up the crack

He don’t want no lady

With the big melon rack...

We’ll have a Cinnabon and two diet cokes. ”



fin
11 comments

READERReport

2008-03-30 18:58:20
that was shit

READERReport

2008-03-24 20:38:49
gayest fucking shit EVER. it sucked

READERReport

2008-03-19 13:13:21
That was the fuckin dumbest story ever

READERReport

2007-12-22 03:24:21
dumbass that sucked

READERReport

2007-11-03 23:51:46
Shit you are lucky there is no 0

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