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Big AL the ninja had some eggplant parmesan.

Big AL the ninja was a gash hound, and like spread eagle porn.

Big AL the ninja was ripe.

Big AL the ninja sniffed his finger nails after scratching his balls and damn near fell over!

The pungent raw smell of vinegar, ammonia, dank stale cunt with a hint of vanilla just about bowled Big AL the ninja over

Big AL the ninja took a shower.

Big AL the ninja felt fresh as a daisy.

It was New York City, January 4th, 1964 Big AL the ninja had to go to work at a Chinese dry cleaner shop. That was his lot in life. The next day, the Berlin wall was completed.

They called Big AL the ninja “Flapdoodle” at the Chinese dry cleaner shop and sang a little song about him...

"You’re all pasty white

Flapdoodle

J. F. K. never wore big droopy drawer trousers

Flapdoodle

There’s a wing nut flummadiddle

Lesbo space bat

Flapdoodle

She’s got a long vanilla index finger

Flapdoodle

She’s pointing it at your chest

Flapdoodle

She’s got a scaly dry itch psoriasis elbow

Flapdoodle

You’re all pasty white

Flapdoodle

She’s got a long vanilla index finger too

Flapdoodle

Oh my goodness

Flapdoodle

J. F. K. never wore big droopy drawer trousers

Flapdoodle

She’s got a scaly dry itch psoriasis elbow

Flapdoodle

The wing nut flummadiddle

Lesbo space bat

Flapdoodle

She’s folding you an origami swan

Flapdoodle

With her long vanilla index finger

And her scaly dry itch psoriasis elbow

For you

Flapdoodle"


Later, some fat girls with lollypops came over. By then it was September 12 1974 and in Ethiopia, Emperor Haile Selassie was over thrown in a military coup.

The fat girls had lemon cakes

Licking lips

Licorice twists

And their

Sarsaparilla poop hatches roared

Sexy naked sex ensued with

Cocoa butter

And lanolin

Later, Big AL the ninja farted in July
Whilst a cool summer evenings breeze
Rustled through persimmons maples and brambles
Amongst the Midwest Magicicada Neotredecim cicadas
Croaking their song carried by the wind
Whilst winter rang its wrinkle round

That all is fine and dandy, but it is not why we are here.

One day in Cleveland, Ollie J. Farnwinkle farted in such a way as to tickle his prostate as a fetching young lass was walking by.

He pulled a boner. By boner, I would not be referring to a blooper, a blunder in any sense. Not a small and amusing mistake or an incredibly embarrassing misstep or transgression. I wouldn’t mean a boning knife, or a Trombonist. Ollie J. Farnwinkle had an erection, and his penis was in its enlarged and firm state. The corpora cavernosa that ran the length of Ollie J. Farnwinkle’s penis had become engorged with blood and he was pitching a tent.

Since Ollie J. Farnwinkle was in Cleveland he wanted to go to the Rock-n-Roll museum. He could hear Huey Lewis singing “The heart of Rock-n-Roll, heart of Rock-n-Roll is in Cleveland”

Now Ollie J. Farnwinkle decided to go back to his hotel room and call an escort. He thought about his life and all he had.

He had a wife and two kids

He had a blue Mazda

He had a corned beef on pumpernickel
And some cheesy elbow macaroni for lunch

He had a 34 inch waist

He had red BVDs

He had an ingrown toenail

He had a good idea
Of who was banging his wife on Tuesdays
And sometimes Thursdays

He had a Rolex Perpetual Air-King
Self-winding waterproof watch

He had a Frank Zappa CD in the car

He had a tendency to pandiculate in public

He had to take a leak

He had a slight headache

He had a slight boner
He had opened up a Pandora’s box and mawed her musky mound
as she moaned and mewed like a puss warm in its fine contentment

He had a couple or twenties and some change

He had long sideburns

He had a bromide

He had a wife and two kids


fin
6 comments

anonymous readerReport

2012-08-22 03:09:02
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hs ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ja ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha......................No DAFUQ nononon worst thing ever!! So bad I c ouldn't even belive what I was reading ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha.........but seriously no just no.

READERReport

2007-06-02 07:02:54
Let me add my comment: what the fuck was this all about? How dumb can a story be? You couldn't even write a grocery list, much less a decent porn story. Go get a job driving a cab and leave the porn writing to people who know how to do it. You sure don't. 0/10

READERReport

2007-05-25 19:01:55
You won't sell this crap

READERReport

2007-05-25 18:54:30
Brilliant Story, man keep them coming...
NOT!

READERReport

2007-05-25 11:34:14
WTF? Is there suppose to be a story here?

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