||Fighting To Stay Frosty 2
||I love your writing style, and the plot for this story is fantastic. The pacing is great, which is a difficult thing to implement into a story. But some of the dialogue didn't really make too much sense, and i feel like there were a lot of emotion invested in a very short amount of time. Also(yes I know this is nit picky but it was just stuck in my head throughout both parts) where are all the schools administration? They seem nonexistent. So besides those very small things this story was/is amazing, you should defiantly keep writing.
||My amazing life Chapter 5
||i love the cliffhanger,suspensful endings and thism series in general. Your building up to the inevitable sex scene very well, just keep doing what your doing. I think it would be interesting to have one of sally's children be victorias teammate and at the sleepover on her birthday. Im not sure if thats where you were going to do anyway but just a suggestions. Keep up the good work.
||The Perks of Being a Wallflower with a Huge Cock: Part V
||I love the story and more specifically the plot. I like how Charlie falls back into some teenage habbits and insecurieties. I think it would be great if he started to notice the differences his actions have on other peoples futures like for example if jessica didn't get trashy and fat becuase the sex made her more focused on guys and how to attract them. I'm not saying thats a good plot just an example of one.
But anyway I like the detail of the girls but I noticed that you hardly talk about their asses, I get that you're a boob man but Just a suggestion. And I like how you compared the female in the story to the actress it helps visualizing the characters so much.
||Going Back Home Part 2
||Well actually I made it seem that way in this part becuase it is true to who he is. In this part Ana needed to be in control and honestly i felt that this was the best way to distance the two without making either look like an asshole. But I do like your critism it helps me write better.
||Leo's Life Part 1
||I thought you should've had some more build-up but I think the plot has a lot of potential.