Comments from MarqWinks
|2012-08-23 21:02:42||Three is the Way||Firstly, you're really good. I can't wait to read more of your work. I love your dialogue and story build. Great stuff!
I cast my vote for Lizzy getting knocked up in the not to distant future. She should be old enough to have a healthy baby. It would be great if her first is her brother's. Alex and George make a deal for who impregnates her first and George wins. Alex gets to watch, of course. The 3 discuss it and then go for it. You're really good at scene description, so please go into great detail as George pumps his potent sperm into his sister to knock her up. Maybe Alex could be fucking her in the ass and feels George pump his baby making load into her.
Many thanks and keep up the good work. :)
|2012-08-24 15:54:31||Together with Angela||Most excellent. I'm heading for part 2 now as soon as I take care of the bulge in my pants. Keep up the good work. Thanks|
|2012-09-01 16:23:39||Part 2, I want to be just like mom||I liked it and you did turn me on. Please keep going. You are getting better and your story is interesting. Thanks|
|2012-09-01 16:53:01||Part 5, my sexual life slowly begins||You're getting better and I'm getting more excited. Keep up the good work. Thanks :)|
|2012-09-02 12:41:53||My Birthday Vacation - A New Cummer (Part 3)||Great story, please keep it going.
You asked for feedback and suggestions. Here are a couple of things to be aware of and this goes for so many up and coming writers on here and other sites.
'your' is always used before a noun possessive form of you, relating to or belonging to you
'you're' is a contraction of you are
'were' is past 2d singular, past plural, or past subjunctive of be
'we're' is: a contraction of we are
As you can see there's a big difference and for those who know, it's sort of like a screech of chalk on a blackboard every time one sees a misuse of the above.