| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2012-07-13 06:51:19 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 28 The Daughter War Begins |
Cont.: Use such remarks to give yourself a shake. Compare what you wrote to what YOU remember. If its exact - no problem. If not -simply re-write & re-post. At the end IT IS your story and there's a whole lot of folks who want to hear the 'how, what and why'. Be not discouraged - the way forward is one step, followed by another and... |
| 2012-07-13 06:44:54 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 28 The Daughter War Begins |
Cont: - precision in your writing comes 'under strain' - your mind is at supersonic and your fingers lag behind. Your fingers may not be telling the story the way your mind is remembering! Afterwards your proof reading is faulty because your mind fills the gaps and may not 'see' the differences(?) Cont... |
| 2012-07-13 06:38:57 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 28 The Daughter War Begins |
Cont.; You have a wonderful story to tell... somebody has 'difficulties'; this isn't a problem as there was nothing derogatory; it does serve to show that people are reading and analyzing what you say. Not everybody accepts the Bible as 'de facto' - do they?
As you reach this critical stage of your story, take care - |
| 2012-07-13 06:31:25 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 28 The Daughter War Begins |
Hi Wall Eye: Lots of folks getting upset about some remarks! I read them and thought - now this will be interesting! I also re-read your story 'cover to cover' and read the remarks again.
I would say that you are approaching a part of your life that is emotionally wrung out. I can visualize the strain as this is causing difficulties breathing let alone thinking(?) |
| 2012-07-11 11:24:27 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 28 The Daughter War Begins |
Sgt J... Learning the 'art of war' creates a situation where you are not obliged to 'turn the other cheek'. Only you can tell me if this creates a weakness as a civilian where you are obliged to 'turn the other cheek'? I was never in the military but I know the misery of loneliness. I know the dejection of rejection. I know the breaking heart - a child who would not listen. I have the still broken heart even after so much mouthed forgiveness. I used every ploy I could find to paste paper over those cracks.
Nobody sees them now, but I was a fool to think I could repair with paper when a full re-build MAY have been the answer.
Your story resonates with the feelings held within me. I hope you were able to lean on Kay's shoulder, I had nowhere but the supposed solace drained from a bottle. What a fool eh? I am dry now but with such sad memories; all the high points that I should have been able to enjoy obliterated by failure to understand one child. I know I will take this to my grave. |
| 2012-07-03 11:35:15 |
A Game of Inches - Part Ten |
Rhiannon57 - Don't change a thing you are doing; write when you can find the time. Forget elaborate proof readings etc - Professional writers have a team (literally!) of editors! Forgive Jenny - surely there's a reason behind her actions? More than one of us have cruised into those blind alleys! |
| 2012-06-30 08:17:54 |
Swinging in the neighborhood Chapter 27 Sherri Becomes an Disappointment |
Hi 'Old63' -- Sadly you only borrow your kids for 'a time' then they fly the nest - Sadly also, no matter what way you try to show them life's pitfalls, they only really learn through their own mistakes; but you have to let them go, otherwise you don't get them back!
Walleyeguyi - your story will NEVER disappoint your readers |
| 2012-06-29 05:36:49 |
I CAN'T RESIST MY NEIGHBOR-OR HER TEENAGE GIRLS!-CHAPTER 4 |
Quite a story... Still trying to catch my breath! Careful though... even after 3 babies the vagina is NOT readily available for fisting in just 15 or 20 minutes... it usually takes hours to prepare for a birth; fisting is the same! AND... recovery, well now, she'll be as loose as a railway tunnel for many weeks... without considering the high potential for internal damage. I know! I can ask my girlfriend to post a comment if you like?
Great writing & great turn of phrase; but two such stories so close together may cause a heart attack to your more 'delicate' reader fans!!???
By the way - are the twins going a bit 'bi'? Could be fun! I'm resisting reading ch.5 until later! |
| 2012-06-28 12:18:16 |
Breaking Barriers 6: a TRIP TO THE MALL |
Agree with these guys -you're going too fast and skipping over scenes that would benefit greatly from more detail - go to 20 chapters if you like - we'll keep reading & appreciating! |
| 2012-06-28 11:56:48 |
A Game of Inches - Part Nine |
Broke my heart when Courtney died - I was very fond of that girl. Alexis, I'm not very sure about, bit cold, career type; but maybe she's has also a sad history with a lot of hurt? A real big 'let down' with (say) a fiancee would make her stand back & be cautious? Great stories - don't even think of stopping!!! |
| 2012-06-26 15:55:49 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 26 Two Hearts no Longer Beat as One |
Swing with your partner and life can be good. 'Swing' without and really that's 'virtual' adultery! Without your partner you are turning your back to them -- seems you have 'turned your back' with Cathy? The result is then a very likely big 'ZERO' |