| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
|
|
|
| 2013-05-22 11:48:05 |
Single Dad Raising a Busty Daughter: Part II |
good development - watching and waiting for more |
| 2013-05-21 01:27:34 |
The Ten of Them. Chapter 27 |
This is one series that I WATCH the Latest Updates page for.
It never disappoints. |
| 2013-05-14 15:36:26 |
The Sportscaster - BBQ |
I came to see just what was being offered and cannot believe how twisted some idiots really are. |
| 2013-05-08 16:32:29 |
Seducing my cute little cousin sister |
re the story itself: the English was tortured and the punctuation made the story almost unreadable.
There were apparently some issues with translation from your native language to English - most notably the fact that sister is a sibling born to at least one of your parents and cousin is a relative born to one of your parents' brother/sister. |
| 2013-05-08 16:23:44 |
Seducing my cute little cousin sister |
a piece of advice regarding your formatting of your story
Some people adjust their screens to display the text larger than the site normal. This means that if you cause the text area to be forced wider than normal then the reader needs to either scroll or resize.
EITHER option will cause them to simply click away from your story. |
| 2013-05-02 16:18:01 |
Fire Class - Chapter 1 |
nice continuation
I hope that the sequel will be comparable material |
| 2013-04-30 07:35:30 |
ARE WE TEACHING THE CHILDREN - OR ARE THEY TEACHING US? - PART 1 |
You are dealing with this issue as well as you dealt with the neighbor's daughters. You are taking a statutory issue and dealing with it psychologically and honestly. For comparison, see Allison And The Primdales by daddycums elsewhere on this site.
I would definitely like to see more of this work. |
| 2013-04-29 11:16:09 |
THE NEW GODS 5: Alpha Eternal |
Still as good as the first time through.
Is this the third, fourth, or just how many times have I enjoyed this chapter? |
| 2013-04-22 06:04:56 |
Boo 1 |
a couple of comments
- you need to have paragraphs : a wall of words will cause people to simply leave as soon as they arrive.
- you need a little bit more length to the story : this one has not even finished the initial encounter |
| 2013-04-11 10:15:03 |
All for Mr. Redman Chapter 11 |
I was introduced to the power of your writing in CAW 13. The stories that I have read since then have only cemented that opinion.
Your writing might include some errors but the imagery and emotion that you pack around them mask them from view.
I am another reader who would love to see more writing by your hand and would really appreciate the continuation of your serialized stories which have been presented here. |
| 2013-04-11 05:30:39 |
Yukio's Adventures Part 5 |
wonderful story
I hope to see more of Yukio's adventures in the future |
| 2013-04-03 12:43:49 |
UPDATE INFO ON SUPERNATURAL NATION, FATE, & F.O.P. |
Kudos on the outburst - they probably deserve it.
I enjoy your work and look forward to each chapter. That does not mean that I feel ENTITLED to each new chapter.
I might get impatient but I also know that hurried work becomes sloppy work.
Take the time that you need and share when you are able.
Peace. |
| 2013-04-01 04:10:55 |
Brutal Dog Sitting (Revised and edited) |
"dislocate the bones in my neck" - AFAIK, there are two sets of bones in the neck: the vertebra, and the Hyoid. The Hyoid cannot be dislocated since it is not connected to any other bones and dislocating the vertebra means only a twist to sever the spinal cord.
There was a similar situation at the other end when the dog raping her ass dislocates bones to make room. You cannot dislocate bones in the pelvis; they are fused. You can only break the pelvis.
You have an interesting fantasy but you need to write what you know instead of what you want to be. |
| 2013-03-28 13:29:37 |
Twin Japanese Nieces Pt18 |
I will second the wishes of others who thank you for your contributions here.
Remember the good and focus on that and you may find the strength to live with the fickle fates and their whims. |
| 2013-03-25 23:01:54 |
Fall of a Hero |
Thanks for the story - AND for the memorial to a soldier who made a difference.
I hope that you find healing for heart, mind, and soul for what happened over there. |
| 2013-03-22 20:30:21 |
My Photogenic Mom Chapter 3 |
get rid of the wall of words by double spacing some paragraphs.
When you change speakers, change paragraphs.
When you change subject, change paragraphs. |
| 2013-03-12 07:28:23 |
Winter War: Legend of the Snow Fox. |
interesting fin
I read the story through its presentation in the forum but am actually disappointed in the way that the story is closed out - there was TOO much story added in the last pages which actually detracted from the focused story that was presented before. |
| 2013-03-11 00:28:03 |
The Fall of Paradise: Chapter 4 |
Thank you for continuing this story; I hope to see more soon. |
| 2013-03-10 16:58:03 |
Bait and Switch Retype - Ch 25-26 |
normally I do not rate a chapter in a larger work but this one just BEGGED for a positive vote.
WELL done. |
| 2013-03-10 03:14:06 |
Aaron's New Stepsister, Part 3 of 3 (Finale) |
"ten years ago"
Just gorgeous |
| 2013-03-09 05:48:27 |
Special Case Ch.1: Introducing Dakota |
a waste of time to read |
| 2013-02-19 22:40:43 |
Twin Japanese Nieces Update |
I am glad to see you continuing with this story and to hear of your intent to write Kayko's story as well. Use these stories to cement the happy memories in your mind and use those happy memories to help with your grief.
Welcome back to the site |
| 2013-02-19 06:36:41 |
FINAL JUSTICE |
An old tale with a new telling.
Even so, worth at least one reading and a chuckle. |
| 2013-02-17 11:59:38 |
The Judgment of Sgt. J Chapter 3: The One Who Could fix Skates |
I am enjoying the read even tho some of it is painful. I know that dealing with the pain will be the only way to heal from it.
Keep up the work and keep up the story. |
| 2013-02-12 15:53:52 |
The Judgment of Sgt. J "Chapter 2: Darkness closes in on Kay" |
This is a powerful story and right now is showing the darkness in the background.
I hope that your family is able to finally realize the blessedness that highlights that darkness and finally relieves its gloom. |
| 2013-02-10 16:12:46 |
The Judgment of Sgt. J" Chapter One: “Kay‘s Demons take Shape” |
Just a comment, an observation.
It could be that reliving the episodes which Sgt J wrote of caused a relapse of the emotional trauma that he went through the first time. It could be easier leading him out of despair if this is true due to his having walked that path once before but it could also be harder as well.
I wish y'all all the best that can possibly come from this and hope that the journey ends with success. Just know that the most critical judge that a man of honor ever has will be found sitting at the high bench of his heart. |
| 2013-02-08 13:50:11 |
Warehouse Encounter |
The paragraphs not being separated by extra lines made this a little hard to read.
The switching POVs exacerbated that issue |
| 2013-02-05 00:41:27 |
“The Judgment of SGT. J”: A Short Introduction |
I wish you well on your journey here and I hope that you are able to help others who have walked a path similar to yours. |
| 2013-01-29 20:23:56 |
Eternal Awakening: Chapter Six |
After this gets finished and final proofed, I will expect to see it in the stores. This is TREMENDOUS writing. |
| 2013-01-29 19:36:34 |
Modern Mage Chapter 23 |
You mentioned your editing efforts - there is one that I was introduced to on this site which is extremely effective in finding what you are looking for: reading backwards.
The reading against the regular flow allows you to see each word more clearly instead of seeing what you intended to put on paper and I have had more than one writer comment on its efficacy.
RE the publishing of a work based in a copyrighted environment: check with the owners of the copyright for their possible allowance. If the characters which you use are not copyrighted the story can very possibly be allowed to be published as its dissemination can also build the game knowledge and spread. |
| 2013-01-28 15:43:05 |
Modern Mage Chapter 22 |
I only wish that you has gone ahead and left the battle scene in the story
Tremendous chapter and I love what you did with Arthur |
| 2013-01-21 20:52:48 |
Moden Mage Chapter 20 |
Interesting chapter. Good development and foreshadowing without being overly generous with insights.
I DEFINITELY want more of this to read |
| 2013-01-21 02:36:27 |
Eternal Darkness: Chapter Three |
Mis-titled or not, this is still one awesome piece of work. |
| 2013-01-02 14:19:12 |
Brutal Dog Sitting |
32E ? ? ?
Dislocated neck ? ? ?
I have one suggestion - write what you know instead of what you fantasize about. |
| 2012-12-23 11:28:28 |
|
Please don't hit me with negatives just because you found Pepsi in your Pepsi can instead of Coke.
- - - LOL - - - |
| 2012-12-17 13:25:46 |
Twin Japanese Nieces Pt17 |
My condolences on your loss and I have to join BarJim in his observation regarding Erin and Saki.
I cannot say to focus on what you have and not to dwell on what was lost but if they were not involved in the accident then they will need you as much as you will need them. I wish you and yours the strength that is needed for the family that remains.
May you be as well as possible through your mourning. |
| 2012-12-10 11:37:08 |
My Naughty Boy : His First Time : Part 4 |
With these chapters being so closely tied in time and scene, it would have been better, in my opinion, to have presented them as one episode instead of four.
All in all, though, this was a very good read. Thank you for sharing |
| 2012-12-04 03:28:35 |
Driven Lust XIII |
comment posted in the forum |
| 2012-12-03 12:51:05 |
To big to handle- The birth |
try reading up on orgasmic childbirth |
| 2012-12-01 14:27:06 |
Long Since Due |
The only negative is the length - it's too short. |
| 2012-11-27 09:28:06 |
The Chair |
just re-read this story for about the fifth time and I think that the only way to have improved the humor (inside joke style) would be to drop the number from 47 to 42. Make Douglas Adams spin in his grave laughing at the new interpretation of that answer. |
| 2012-11-26 11:57:57 |
Allison and the Primdales, Part 3 Chapter 80 |
I don't know how many times I have read this chapter but the ending ALWAYS grabs my gut and twists. |
| 2012-11-26 08:34:30 |
Vacation For Two - Friday |
I can't remember if I have already voted but I just could not help it; I had to vote this up.
[quote] It's not what we expected, but it's what we hoped [/quote] ----- beautiful line |
| 2012-11-26 00:54:34 |
The Niece, The Wife, and Their needs |
This was a good read. It'd be interesting to read of the various encounters with the dane. |
| 2012-11-21 13:16:53 |
Stacey and Kelly |
I have a few suggestions to make it more palatable to read.
Use paragraphs when changing speakers during dialogue and double-space the paragraphs to make them easier to track.
Use capitalization properly and avoid text-speak in your narration.
Use punctuation properly to break up sentences at the phrase marks.
Following those suggestions will make your stories easier to read and possibly garner more readers and comments to assist in developing your writing voice. |
| 2012-11-19 08:21:16 |
The Ten of Them Chapter 2 |
Dragon explains the issue behind my comment in the earlier chapter - LOL. The only problem is that you need a grammar checker as well as a spell checker when using it.
Good luck and I enjoy your works |
| 2012-11-19 07:20:29 |
The Ten of Them. Chapter 1 |
I apologize for what might seem to be a strictly negative comment but I could not help but laugh when I read - Mom has Pavarotti following her.
I THINK the term that you were wanting to use is paparazzi as Luciano is extremely unlikely to be a stalker.
Other than the occasional misuse of a word (like above), your stories are VERY enjoyable with extremely good character and plot development |
| 2012-11-18 06:52:34 |
My father in law |
you definitely need to use a spell checker
double lines between paragraphs would be nice as well to break up the wall of words
For the story itself, try putting more emotion into your words instead of simply description. |
| 2012-11-17 07:00:12 |
The Babysitter Diary |
Great story (and ignore marcdoodle's negative vote - he does that to anybody with the temerity to limit votes to logged-in voters) |
| 2012-11-12 11:35:23 |
Solomon's Daughters: The Wedding |
I am glad to read that even though you have finished the Solomon's Daughters portion of the story that you are continuing the rest of the story as well. I would love to see how you work lycanthropes, centaurs, nymphs & satyrs, and the occasional demon/angel into your story.
You have introduced trolls but have not yet contacted them; are they considered a lost cause? |
| 2012-11-12 05:20:07 |
The switch |
Freaky Friday but from what I can see, doing well. |
| 2012-11-10 15:37:32 |
Sarah's Family |
I thought that you said in your profile that you do not do pedo ---- the only reason that you can escape that classification according to this site's definitions is that you did not write an age in the story.
In just about all the definitions used here, barely pubescent qualifies as pedo. |
| 2012-11-07 12:53:25 |
Driven Lust X |
Very well written - this has the makings of a novel and a half.
I compared you to another writer and was discounted. I still say that you compare to DC in ability even though the styles are different. |
| 2012-11-05 11:21:45 |
THE MOON STONE, part 3 (THREE) |
You have requested comment and I will give:
The story is graphically incomplete.
I read novels and generally need the full work to be able to judge it properly. The three chapters so far published are well written but I cannot review the work as it stands due to its incompleteness. How do you deal with the situations that you are creating? THAT is what needs to be judged. |
| 2012-10-30 00:32:40 |
Shocking True Confessions of the World's Last Horror Writer! |
Superbly written by a master of the macabre.
Thank you for sharing. |
| 2012-10-29 02:25:47 |
Mr. Hyde's Night Out. |
You roped me in through the Shameless Plug thread and damn if you didn't pull off a Jekyll story to beat the band.
DAMN good work. |
| 2012-10-26 22:08:06 |
The Assassins Gambit: she who has the amethyst eyes |
The proof reader missed a few but not enough to mar the work.
Thank you for compiling the whole and making it available in one work. |
| 2012-10-26 14:12:45 |
The Assassins Gambit: she who has the amethyst eyes |
The proof reader missed a few but not enough to mar the work.
Thank you for compiling the whole and making it available in one work. |
| 2012-10-22 03:33:30 |
Broken Birds, Part 15, Maria and Juanita |
rating of 20 - ignore the sniveling idiots and read the forum. |
| 2012-10-21 12:16:12 |
REVENGE 3: Keri Takes Charge |
Horse,
You might want to add the links to your forum thread regarding this story as well to make it easier for those who know how to roam over there to find your stuff over here.
I would also recommend posting the tags in that thread so that those who WANT to read your work will recognize it.
---- note --- this is being written before I actually read the first of the three tails
oops, forgive the slip - TALES |
| 2012-10-09 04:36:05 |
A Game Of Inches - Conclusion - Epilogue |
BTW - 68 comments in about 12 hours
I THINK you made an impression. |
| 2012-10-09 04:34:17 |
A Game Of Inches - Conclusion - Epilogue |
well done. the way that you told the story in this last chapter shows that it is the way that YOU wanted the story told.
This story could be compiled (and possibly edited to fit your vision instead of your reader's wants) and marketed to a publisher; it is professional in both presentation and crafting.
I will be waiting for your next offering. |
| 2012-10-09 01:47:32 |
Sister Catherine's Nighmare CAW 13 |
This story was extremely well crafted from start to finish and I apologize for the fact that I have to say that I did not enjoy it. There were parts early on which I did, but the final description of her nightmare itself made me unable to continue to enjoy the story.
I read this as part of the CAW even though you state that it is not officially included in that competition and felt that even with my dislike, the story is crafted well enough to be considered if the SOP agrees.
NOTE that I am not voting this story either positive or negative here, as I would not have been here except for the CAW |
| 2012-10-08 07:49:49 |
Driven Lust V |
GD,MFing system logging me out without notification
that last comment was MINE. |
| 2012-10-02 12:17:55 |
Laura, a.k.a. The Little Nympho.. Chapter 11.. (Babysitting Katie) |
The problem is not the STORY formatting, the problem is that space making line at the top of the page.
If you remove that line and re-submit, I would bet that the story goes back to a readable format. |
| 2012-10-01 07:23:57 |
The Librarian and the Bartender, Part two |
I do not know why this story would be voted down except out of jealousy.
There ARE some issues with presentation but that is strictly a matter of opinion and you have brought off a wonderful story. I hope to see more about these two. |
| 2012-09-29 12:41:16 |
Driven Lust II |
This definitely deserves a continuation |
| 2012-09-29 11:53:05 |
Driven Lust |
And where is this date located?
You should work for Morse; the answer to THAT question was telegraphed from way back at "As Directed.
Nice story. |
| 2012-09-29 11:52:29 |
Driven Lust |
please forgive the question marks - I forgot that this page hates special chars |
| 2012-09-29 11:51:44 |
Driven Lust |
And where is this date located?
You should work for Morse; the answer to THAT question was telegraphed from way back at "As Directed.
Nice story. |
| 2012-09-26 13:25:43 |
Solomon's Daughters: Linda's Chapter |
Love the story, despise the stopping point.
You have a wonderful gift and thank you for sharing it |
| 2012-09-16 13:40:26 |
Solomon's Daughters: Risa's and Kylie's Chapter |
A few errors; you need to proofread a little better for grammar errors.
HOWEVER, this was a very good read and a well-deserved re-writing for the vampires as well. |
| 2012-09-15 11:22:34 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 16 |
It appears to be a way-stop on the road to somewhere else but well crafted for the passage.
It literally feels like the ending of the chapter just before. |
| 2012-09-10 07:07:49 |
The Boy Who Lived Down The Street(Part Ten) |
A good ending to a good story. Thank you for sharing. |
| 2012-09-10 04:02:51 |
Solomon's Daughters Cassie's and Cindy's Chapter |
Thank you for resolving the issue of Cassie. I wonder what will happen when there is a part-genie born to either Cassie or Cindy |
| 2012-09-08 13:24:49 |
Sleepover short pt. I |
let's try to do this without the special characters, then --
You need to proofread better and trust spell check less - there are too many homonyms and similar-spelled words which are misused: suit-vs.-suite, stares-vs,-stairs, class-vs.-glass, covert-vs.-cupboard, breath-vs.-breathe, mine-vs.-mines, in to-vs.-into;.
I couldn't get past the bad grammar to complete the story - examples (I seen), (he was ... he knows), (between my breast), (I wrapped ... I can), (I challenge him, his eyes got darker), (walls ... was).
Keep the tenses coordinating in a sentence (plural-vs,-singular, past-vs.-present) and it would be better to keep the past-vs.-present consistent throughout the story.
Watch your punctuation. If there is a pause in a sentence then it likely needs a comma. If there are two sentences butting against each other then they likely need a semicolon (or a period). |
| 2012-09-08 13:21:22 |
Sleepover short pt. I |
god damned, html hating, sons-of-bitches |
| 2012-09-08 13:20:17 |
Sleepover short pt. I |
You need to proofread better and trust spell check less - there are too many homonyms and similar-spelled words which are misused: suit-vs.-suite, stares-vs,-stairs, class-vs.-glass, covert-vs.-cupboard, breath-vs.-breathe, mine-vs.-mines, "in to"-vs.-"into".
I couldn't get past the bad grammar to complete the story - examples "I seen", "he was
he knows", "between my breast", "I wrapped
I can", "I challenge him, his eyes got darker", "walls
was".
Keep the tenses coordinating in a sentence (plural-vs,-singular, past-vs.-present) and it would be better to keep the past-vs.-present consistent throughout the story.
Watch your punctuation. If there is a pause in a sentence then it likely needs a comma. If there are two sentences butting against each other then they likely need a semicolon (or a period). |
| 2012-09-07 13:07:29 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 15 |
I can see the hand of a good gamesmaster in this tale.
Well Done.
BTW - this chapter ended on a much better tone than some of the others. It finished the cycle and gave a lead INTO the next cycle instead of leaving us waiting for the END of a cycle. Well done, again. |
| 2012-09-03 14:24:54 |
Two Wishes. |
wonderful concept and beautifully written |
| 2012-09-03 06:13:02 |
The Boy Who Lived Down The Street(Part Nine) |
sex? who needs sex. you are telling a wonderful story and there will always be times when sex is not appropriate to the story line.
This is a WONDERFUL chapter and I hope to see more of them. |
| 2012-09-03 04:35:39 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 14 |
THAT is not fair. This cliffhanger is just too much.
Your story is already recognized as having multiple installments, COMPLETE a circle before ending it and going to the next. |
| 2012-08-20 09:42:18 |
Divine Justice: Conner's completion |
learn a few facts - such as how bras are sized. you used 26B, changed 20D to 36D, and commented on growing the 26B to 20C. Those are more than grammar issues, those show a lack of basic understanding about your topic and when a reader runs into those oddities, it can really throw the reading off. |
| 2012-08-19 11:51:28 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 31 A Star Guides our Souls |
Wonderful story - wonderful telling
Keep walking your path and following your heart. |
| 2012-08-18 12:09:57 |
The Existence - Chapter 1 |
I know, coming from an RPG environment is hard to escape the descriptions before you build the story, but sometimes ya gotta skip so that the audience doesn't get lost before you get started.
In THIS one, you didn't even get started before you ENDED - bad form. |
| 2012-08-13 06:00:15 |
CAW 12: Mr Phillips and Miss Jasmine |
Cute with a number of twists to keep the reader guessing. I enjoyed reading it. |
| 2012-08-13 04:07:35 |
CATLYN 3: Kara's Video |
The only thing that I did not like was the cliffhanger at the end. HOWEVER
Kara's story will need the length of a full chapter to deal with the effects of the video.
RE the first comment about the depth of the story, If I am reading the progression correctly, this will not be a simple 6 chapter story but at least a bit longer and this allows more time for character development which allows GREATER depth to be explored. |
| 2012-08-13 03:47:25 |
CATLYN 2: Valentine's Day |
Damned intermittent logouts
------------------------------------
I liked the way that you brought out the role-play inherent in most dom-sub relationships. The TRUST that proceeding without a stop phrase was a surprise but it worked (probably because a stop phrase would not be needed by the Power-Elf).
WELL crafted and I can't wait to see what you create for the pair next. |
| 2012-08-10 14:00:24 |
CATLYN |
grumble ---- damned HTML formatting. |
| 2012-08-10 13:59:36 |
CATLYN |
"PART TWO coming soon."
YOUR soon or MY soon. All I know is that it can't be soon enough.
DAMN, I wanna see the next chapter. |
| 2012-08-08 12:09:53 |
Mom Needs Son's Help, Ch. 2 |
GREAT TWIST IN THAT TAIL !
I did NOT expect to see that style ending although I knew that the vid would be sent. |
| 2012-08-08 11:53:03 |
Mom Needs Son's Help, Ch. 1 |
wonderful work - just wish that it would be more than 2 chaps
|
| 2012-08-06 10:39:41 |
I CAN'T RESIST MY NEIGHBOR-OR HER TEENAGE GIRLS-6 |
dangitall - my screen showed me as logged in when I posted that last comment. Sorry for the double post |
| 2012-08-06 10:38:34 |
I CAN'T RESIST MY NEIGHBOR-OR HER TEENAGE GIRLS-6 |
A WONDERFUL ending to a beautiful story. I am only sorry to see it actually end. I will be waiting to see your new ideas when you come back with a new submission. |
| 2012-08-06 09:48:19 |
My sis is irresistible! Chapter 3! |
You really need to combine these three into one chapter or at least into one story as the end does not occur until here. Other than that little issue, it was a tremendous story to read. |
| 2012-08-06 09:41:53 |
My sis is irresistible! Chapter 2! |
My only issue was that you ended the chapter too soon - I HATE cliffhangers |
| 2012-08-06 00:18:04 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 3 |
IMO, too much technical detail but doing good on the character development |
| 2012-08-05 21:25:36 |
The Fall of Paradise: Chapter 3 |
There were a couple of inconsistencies - the largest of which was the disposal of attacker's bodies without collecting the blood for iron. Other than that, the story is starting to build in concept pretty well. |
| 2012-08-05 12:02:00 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 2 (edited) |
I would say to ignore the person commenting about rape. Evidently they missed the part where the good Dr had a crush on her patient years before. Would they have had the same complaint if the mage had plied her with alcohol to lower her inhibitions first? I do not think so. You have a good story line started; don't let a nay-sayer inhibit your writing. |
| 2012-08-05 11:56:58 |
Solomon's Daughters: Patricia's Chapter |
Thank you for the mention but it is only a lifetime of reading and FRP being expressed. You are the one who is taking that seed and nurturing it into a wondrous harvest. I am happy to see the direction in which you are heading and REALLY happy to be able to watch the story unfold. |
| 2012-08-04 21:01:34 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 2 |
This is a good start to your story. I found a problem, however, in typos which made the story hard to read at times. If you are using a spell-checking word processor, then I would recommend turning off the auto-correct as most of the typos actually form words which then disrupt the reading as the actual meaning must be discovered. If you want more comment, feel free to PM |
| 2012-08-04 20:14:55 |
Assassin No More - Chapter 12 |
This story was a very good read. |
| 2012-08-03 14:19:53 |
Sexting my son 2 |
GREAT characterization - I loved the pshrink's comment as well. |
| 2012-08-03 14:11:35 |
Sexting my son 1 |
great leadup - let's hope that the rest of the story takes off from here.
|
| 2012-08-02 12:57:32 |
The Camp Nurse |
I have to agree with SSB, below. This story is worth well more than the rating that is has received. I only wish that there were more of it. |
| 2012-07-31 03:39:34 |
Masked magician |
it needs another chapter - I see promise but no delivery - until I see delivery, I will not vote |
| 2012-07-28 11:28:15 |
Sexting Mom, Ch. 4 |
"Dear God...what had Eric told his sister?" - Can we get Chapters 5-8?
|
| 2012-07-25 13:34:39 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 29 Daddies Revenge |
This story is what it is - with, or without any element. The power of your story would have been cheapened by the inclusion of diluting elements. I am only sorry to hear you state that you are nearing the end of your story. I hope to see more of your writing in the future. |
| 2012-07-16 03:41:23 |
The Librarian and the Bartender |
WONDERFUL story; GREAT character development.
More; please write more. |
| 2012-07-12 10:33:59 |
Tales of a Secret Sex Writer, Chapter 9 |
Finally read this series and am unable to find any reason for NOT having done so while I was devouring the rest of your work. SUPERB writing and I liked the format - "is it truth or is it fiction".
I WAS surprised when the girls returned after the daddy-daughter weekend but only in the fact that she was an active participant without knowing the nick being used. I wonder just who was being seduced that weekend. |
| 2012-07-11 11:45:34 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 28 The Daughter War Begins |
The only thing that I dislike about your chapters is the way that you end them on a cliff. I would much rather see the chapters begin with something beginning to happen than begin with something having already happened. |
| 2012-07-04 11:59:40 |
|
Memorable story; I enjoyed the original as well. You write extremely good, DC.
Too bad that somebody with limited literacy tried to rip off your ability. |
| 2012-07-04 11:48:14 |
THE COMMUNITY 3: The Fall of the House of Asher |
This is one SUPERB telling. Although I hated the first part of chap 2, it is a necessary as the last in telling the story correctly and enhancing the end.
--- The darkest night gives way to the brightest day |
| 2012-07-03 22:24:22 |
THE COMMUNITY 2: Book of Esther |
I did not like this chapter; it contains too much darkness. Unfortunately, that darkness was required to make the light at the end so much brighter. I cannot wait for the 3rd chapter to appear. |
| 2012-07-03 16:04:23 |
Nothing-Part Three (Britt) |
The domination scenes were too soft for his history but the story was an extremely good read. It just ended too soon. |
| 2012-07-03 02:02:50 |
A Game of Inches - Part Ten |
This is one tremendous story and WELL worth the read; I hope you are able to continue it soon.
I hated to see the twist at the end and hope that you are able to resolve the issues with Ashley, Alexis, and Jenny without tearing Brian up any more. |
| 2012-07-03 00:55:18 |
The Community 1: Child Bride |
Very well done - ESPECIALLY the treatment of the brainwashing training which is possible in a closed community. I cannot wait to see what you do in the following chapters. |
| 2012-07-02 11:24:53 |
Alice in Brotherland: Part 3 |
Now I have ANOTHER series that I need to wait for.
SHEESH
---- LOL ----- Keep up the good work |
| 2012-07-02 09:13:14 |
Jake's Incredible Summer Conclusion |
Beautiful story; thanks for writing it.
I did see a number of typos throughout the story but consider that this is a free forum and am able to overlook those that I noticed in favor of the greater story itself.
I hope to see more from you soon. |
| 2012-06-30 13:39:17 |
Gone fishin' - Conclusion |
A wonderful ending to your story - a superb read
Thank you for writing this. |
| 2012-06-29 14:11:45 |
I CAN'T RESIST MY NEIGHBOR-OR HER TEENAGE GIRLS!-CHAPTER 5 |
That (BOTH chapters) was everything that I could have hoped for and so enjoyable to read.
Now we have an outsider, however, looking in on the situation. THAT is going to be an interesting provocation.
Still waiting eagerly for the next installment. |
| 2012-06-26 01:09:13 |
THE NEW GODS 6: The Ravages of Time |
Doctor Rex is a Time Lord ------ WONDERfuckingFUL ! ! LOL ! !
BEAUTIFUL ending to the story and nice episode with Aphrodite. |
| 2012-06-22 12:31:34 |
THE NEW GODS 5: Alpha Eternal |
O - M - F'in - G
This means that there are at least two more chapters to finish and I cannot even hope that you can keep to this standard.
The WORST part about the story is the cliff-hanger (both the last chapter and this one) |
| 2012-06-22 12:31:17 |
THE NEW GODS 5: Alpha Eternal |
O - M - F'in - G
This means that there are at least two more chapters to finish and I cannot even hope that you can keep to this standard.
The WORST part about the story is the cliff-hanger (both the last chapter and this one) |
| 2012-06-19 23:01:49 |
The Changeling Baby. |
Wonderfully shadowed with a beautiful twist in the end. |
| 2012-06-19 04:48:49 |
Enslaved |
This really needs a second installment |
| 2012-06-19 04:48:05 |
Room Service Anyone? |
Major blooper right at the beginning
"He groaned as he sunk the head of his cock into her wet cunt.
Her lips wrapped around his dick.
" |
| 2012-06-19 04:45:39 |
Room Service Anyone? |
forgive the formatting problem in the comments - apparently this venue has some problems |
| 2012-06-19 04:44:49 |
Room Service Anyone? |
Major blooper right at the beginning
"He groaned as he sunk the head of his cock into her wet cunt.
Her lips wrapped around his dick.
" |
| 2012-06-19 02:24:24 |
A happier Anniversary |
well done - beautiful twist at the end
Too bad that this isn't the same universe as Bride's Maid. This would have been a worthy sequel. |
| 2012-06-18 15:23:20 |
When the Voyeur Decides to Play |
This one should have been added to my short list (making 6 to choose from) but I could not see the story from the title.
One small, but fatal, error in the competition. |
| 2012-06-18 10:28:08 |
THE NEW GODS 3:The Girl in the Dungeon |
Great story even on the second read through (due to chap 4 going up) |
| 2012-06-18 09:56:15 |
THE NEW GODS 2: "Amber Stamber" |
On my 3rd re-reading due to the release of #4
-
AWESOME work |
| 2012-06-18 08:29:53 |
To dream of dragons |
Continue, PLEASE, Continue
The adventures of an aspiring mage and a young dragon have the promise to be SOOOOOOO entertaining. |
| 2012-06-18 05:33:53 |
Roses are Red (or, "The Red Girl"). |
I really enjoyed the tale and wish that I had read it out here instead of the annotated version in the forums first; this version is not as compelling to read.
I enjoyed the twists in the tails and the grist in the nails; you have made this story yours. Is there any hope to see more of it in the future? |
| 2012-06-18 02:46:52 |
Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 26 Two Hearts no Longer Beat as One |
Superb writing and powerful story
- waiting for the next chapter, as always
- Fair Winds and Following Seas, Sgt J
|
| 2012-06-18 01:59:30 |
Shadows on the Street |
I just had to give this story a thumbs up after having such a hard time eliminating it from my personal favorite for the CAW11 competition.
Thank you for putting it up out here (where I won't have to search for it in the forums next year - LOL) |
| 2012-06-17 11:51:23 |
THE NEW GODS 4: Priestesses and Perversions |
BTW - I hate to consider an insane god |
| 2012-06-17 11:50:20 |
THE NEW GODS 4: Priestesses and Perversions |
This story just gets better and better.
- HOWEVER -
Knowing the myths (but forgetting half of them) I have severe concerns about the statements there at the end and the result for Rex's sanity. |
| 2012-06-11 01:00:18 |
Swinging in the neighborhood Chapter 25 Alone without Angels or Monsters |
All I can say is that I can't wait for the next chapter to be put up - AWESOME writing and a tremendous story |
| 2012-06-04 14:05:07 |
THE NEW GODS 2: "Amber Stamber" |
Thank you for sharing your story creation abilities with us; I cannot wait to see where you go with Rex and hope that you are able to also give some of the stories for the others (possibly as separate story lines instead of additional chapters to this story). |
| 2012-05-25 16:04:06 |
Island For Three, Chapter 7 |
You set a high standard with The Primdales. I am glad to say that you have met that standard here. |