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Comments from Jay Tea
Date Story title Comment



2009-05-30 20:19:04 Mommy's Needs I wish i could say well done and it actually was not too bad but not brilliant. So I say worth reading.
2009-01-21 19:25:47 Mel!!! My New Girlfreind you have some good ideas, but you should make sure the frame is well. The beginning was really bad. I don't like the time you choose and you should lay more attention to the details. If you don't do it like that your story just reads like an enumeration of actions. I give you 4 of 10, but you can easily grow to an 7 or 8 if you just take more time. Final comment: Don't stop writing when you had your shot, write some lead out.
2009-01-07 20:38:08 Big Incest Family Fest omg, I just couldn't read it to the end. Let's leave out the horrible grammar and the miss spellings. But dude, your whole storytelling is simply rubbish. You should take your time to describe what you are saying. Nobody will read your stories if you just write "then the dog fucked her" and go on enumerating all the actions that might turn you on. I think that this is not only the first sex story you wrote but the first thing you wrote ever. And if you need inspiration, read books or at least other stories on this side for god's sake.
2008-05-06 17:20:46 My teachers feet i stopped readig after fife minutes, boring
2008-05-01 23:23:42 I Love Dogs good narrator position, it makes the story very familar. the content was good, too. I certainly will read part two another time.
2008-04-30 21:45:47 Dad can play, too. Pt 2 well done. i liked the exhibitionition part and the discription of the smile. i think its the details you must pay attention to.
2008-04-30 21:21:50 Dad can play, too. well done my friend, maybe you would like parts of my own stories, too.
2008-04-26 23:21:36 Two Exhibitionists Meet well, it was ok, but i would have liked it better if it would have been real exhibitionism and not this derssing room thing.

 


 

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