| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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|
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| 2013-04-08 11:17:04 |
mat Billy doctor and the dog |
Do you use autocorrect or translator ? Or is your native language something other than english ? There are too many errors of spelling to mention, and the sentence structures are weird. I'd suggest you use a reliable translator if you are using one.
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| 2013-04-02 17:23:42 |
The princesses Shame |
Avoid large paragraphs. With the small font that this site has, reading is difficult. |
| 2013-04-01 15:44:25 |
Hot Hijabi Wife |
good writing mate. If Patel denotes what it should, then writing from the subcontinent and threabouts is improving. Cheers! |
| 2013-03-22 11:35:10 |
The Real Torture. |
Not bad at all. The single paragraph can be split. If you're into indian genres you can check out some of my stories as well.
Anyway good effort just keep in mind the formatting. |
| 2013-02-13 13:03:10 |
The Specialist - The Good ol' days |
to Josie....umm wet ? Your profile says male (last checked). I'm a bit confused. :p
still thanks for the comment, hope you like the rest of the series. :-)
feel free to PM me. |
| 2013-02-13 13:02:07 |
The Specialist - The Good ol' days |
thanks Josie, and the anonymous reader who posted before.
to the anonymous reader who posted after Josie......you appear to be violating multiple rules of the site. A complaint has been forwarded to the mods regarding it, and your comment will likely be removed. Kindly abstain from posting such comments on my stories in the future
(what the hell, it's likely some spammer who'll never return to the site, Still I want the comment removed ) |
| 2013-02-12 14:11:10 |
I Raped the Prettiest Girl in School |
Wow dude you're famous. *gangnam style* |
| 2013-02-12 06:12:46 |
I'm a wanker! |
dude it'll help if you take this to the sexuality part of the forum instead of writing your story here. this isn't exactly what we expect when we say :plot:
And shorten the paragraphs will you ? |
| 2013-02-12 04:27:02 |
Megan's education 2 (a bitch's fall episode F) |
to the one who commented last - unfortunately this was the last part of the Bitch's fall series to come out. I stopped writing on this about a year back, so the plot's gone clean out of my head by now. I'll see if anything can be done, but as a reader one shouldn't be optimistic about my ability to pick up on old series.
That said, why don't you check out some of my newer stories, I've done some amount of writing since the Megan stories. |
| 2013-02-12 04:22:39 |
The Specialist - The Good ol' days |
Apologies for the formatting. It's my first work in MS Word 2013, and it seems to have a different line spacing system than OpenOffice and LibreOffice. Since it's already posted any editing is impossible, I'll however try to put two lines between the paragraphs from the next story onwards.
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| 2013-02-11 16:17:21 |
Moslem Pig Hunt |
To the commenter, we so believe you're 13 |
| 2013-02-05 00:19:14 |
Personals Slave |
Nicely written. But 6 responses? How beautiful is Atlantis! |
| 2013-02-02 08:35:55 |
A cold evening on the campus |
You're right i put MaleS/Female instead of Male/Female. My mistake. Anyway thanks for reading, I'll try not to put the wrong categories from next time. :-)
To all three posters (or is it two ?) Thank you. Unfortunately a sequel isn't in the pipeline just yet as I've been a bit busy of late. But you can look forward to another story of this type if not a sequel, in the near future.
Pandorius999 |
| 2013-01-14 15:04:25 |
GEORGIE |
To ineed3men..... its called writing in a conversation format, preferred by people who habe difficulty composing complex sentences. The (...) are immaterial, and they couldhave been avoided. Give the dude a break, he's not a native english speaker, and since I share this handicap, I can tell how hard it is. |
| 2013-01-14 15:00:49 |
GEORGIE |
Chill man. Check out the comments on my stories sometime, and you'd understand. Though I daresay you've already had a taste of the anonymous variety of howlers, I still think it'd help if you just let this pass. Try out some other sites, where publishing these stuff isn't as hazardous.
About the story, well I would rate it 7 out of ten. My own stuff was far worse when I first started writing. And romania was never colonised by the british, my state was. Keep up the effort man, trust me making an issue of assaults only gives satisfaction to the assailant.
I gave you a positive, coz 7 counts as positive in this primitive voting system. Keep up the effort :-) |
| 2012-12-26 13:35:21 |
update |
Am I drunk or do cats wear fur? |
| 2012-11-28 10:58:24 |
Science 6 - Tibetan Sound Levitation |
as this is a porn site, let me ask, can pussy be raised and deposited on cock using this technique. Ladies might find it a bit unnerving but saves energy. |
| 2012-11-28 10:58:22 |
Science 6 - Tibetan Sound Levitation |
as this is a porn site, let me ask, can pussy be raised and deposited on cock using this technique. Ladies might find it a bit unnerving but saves energy. |
| 2012-11-23 08:45:29 |
A Guide to getting read |
Ah well free advice is never appreciated is it ? I'll start charging from next time. :p |
| 2012-11-22 13:30:14 |
Jr.high Stories |
No wordwrap in my browser window
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| 2012-11-08 12:51:31 |
suprise daddy |
Hahaha. Not funny mate try harder |
| 2012-10-22 11:58:56 |
|
hey nice story, I like this genre, and honestly it compares with some of the stories written by chez marquis. Not much to say, except keep it up. :) |
| 2012-10-22 11:55:11 |
Assassinating her Pride |
the remaining part may also be found from my profile page, accessed by clicking on the author name at the top of the page. Thank you.:) |
| 2012-10-22 11:53:47 |
Assassinating her Pride |
A copying mistake on my part has rendered this story incomplete. I've posted the remainder (from the last complete paragraph) in the story "Assassinating her pride (remaining part)" in the same genre.
Readers are requested to search for it in the Dark Fantasy section . I apologize for the inconvenience. |
| 2012-10-05 16:51:28 |
Lesbian Sexslave |
Pretty good story. Try fixing the formatting and repost. I'm sure you'll become far more popular. |
| 2012-07-09 14:14:31 |
A Nocturnal Discovery |
Sorry for the confusion. It's my first incest story and I think a simpler character set would have helped. Mich and brad are brothers. Val and mamdy are sisters. Now one of the brother s's parents is a brother /sister of one of the sisters's parents.that makes val and mich cousins. Or Mandy and brad cousins.
*note to self* don't write incest with more than two characters. |
| 2012-06-28 17:02:51 |
The Nerconomicom, Demons Summoned |
Storys good overall though a little plot improvement won't hurt. And try a simpler name, one thar rolls of the tongue . |
| 2012-06-04 01:29:40 |
New Hire. Sarah and Kristi gets it all. Please comment |
The story title was a little weird. Try not to shift focus too fast. Takes the fin out |
| 2012-06-02 17:31:34 |
Twin sisters abducted and brutally raped |
Hi your username suggests you're from india. And a dark fantasy writer too. What a coincidence. Your story is good just try to improve the grammar. But I had worsee grammar in my first story so no problems. Do come on the forum sometime. My email is pandorius999@yahoo.co.uk mail me if you need amything. Look for my stories on the same page.
Pandorius999 |
| 2012-05-30 16:26:04 |
Girlfriends younger sister |
Improve your writing style. It's more like your having a chat with a beer at a bar. And don't put so many ......... in between. Otherwise a good one for a first story. |
| 2012-05-20 15:41:12 |
Melanie's last day |
Could be improved. Btw she had no bra so where did it come from a paragraph later? |
| 2012-05-19 17:25:01 |
Jenna's Turn To Cry |
Another good one. Cheers. |
| 2012-05-19 17:18:35 |
Infiltrating the girl's school |
It's complicated for what reason I don't know. Apositive but barely. |
| 2012-05-19 17:06:25 |
sis's milk |
The sequence seems a lil skewed. A tit fuck after a pussy fuck? Still overall pretty good. |
| 2012-05-11 13:09:03 |
Wake up baby girl: Part two |
awesome story. keep up the good work. :) Pandorius999 |
| 2012-04-07 09:38:35 |
My new slave |
Good story. Only try to split sentences and use commas wherever needed. And don't make one para chapters that makes no sense. |
| 2012-04-07 09:35:24 |
Bitch for a Night |
Novel idea and good writing. Cheers! |
| 2012-02-26 10:09:28 |
A bitch's fall episode B |
There seems to be an increasing number of people who give pleasant comments (read above) without either suggesting what's wrong with the story or why they want me to do something. As for continuing or discontinuing, that's none of the business of someone without the basic decency to tell me why. I'll do what i want to and what other readers want me to do. As for future posts by me, I'm disabling anonymous votes and comments, as the constructive ones usually come from members. So I'd prefer to be a little enlightened while getting my stories voted down. And if you find you have anything to communicate, that's better than the stuff in the above comments, feel free to mail @ bellona.renatus@gmail.com |