| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
|
|
|
| 2013-04-07 07:32:28 |
The Prince and the Princess |
Split it into paragraphs, please? |
| 2013-04-06 05:19:43 |
Mother and daughter |
This would have been much easier to read if you had put "quotes" round the speech parts as: I said, "What was that for?" |
| 2013-02-14 05:35:31 |
The Hitchhiker Part 1 |
An interesting start. I agree about the spacing, and it is written almost all in the past tense which is good, but occasionally you have dropped into the present, which jars a little. |
| 2013-02-13 06:05:38 |
Young virgin blacked in a barn...Chapter 2 |
Don't worry J; at least six of those were the same anonymous idiot (see the times). I have already seen this chapter elsewhere and am waiting for chapters 3 onwards. Please don't make me wait too long. |
| 2013-01-11 11:30:33 |
slaver or collecter HANNA COMES TO THE USA |
Please read your PMs |
| 2012-07-18 05:16:52 |
Not given a chance (chapter 4) |
I have sent you a private message. |
| 2012-07-15 06:31:57 |
Enslaved, Entrapped 14-16 |
You ask, "What would you like to see happening in the 'scene' in the upcoming chapter 17?" I don't know - I am reading your story because it's YOUR story, and not my ideas.
If I want to read my ideas I'll go to my stories. |
| 2012-06-29 05:44:44 |
School Rape |
This story is stolen. It was originally written by Captain Swing. |
| 2012-05-13 07:10:30 |
White Slavery or is it Really Part 8 |
Is part 9 still coming? |
| 2012-05-06 06:24:07 |
Taking Liz's Pussy for a Drug Debt |
It isn't as bad as the Anonymous cowards make out, but it isn't very original - I have read a lot of stories on this theme. |
| 2012-04-12 06:42:00 |
|
Will there be any more chapters - please? |
| 2012-04-10 08:03:57 |
Berry Patch Cherry Picker Chapter 6 |
As to age limits, they SAY no under 18, but have a look at the stories in the section called "young". It is clear that this limit is not enforced. |
| 2012-04-05 06:48:06 |
Doomsday, the day my life changed! |
A very good start to the story, if not in perfect English.
See the PM I sent you. |
| 2012-04-03 06:29:33 |
Jail Bait |
Please check your private messages. |
| 2012-03-18 07:42:03 |
Executive Decision -- 6 |
Mixing present tense and past tense almost randomly is off-putting for the reader. Stick to past tense as this is a story, not a commentary on a football game. |
| 2012-02-27 06:13:10 |
The Real Man of the House: Ch. 1 Taking the Mother |
Ignore them. The bad grammar fits a 14-year-old narrator perfectly. |