| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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|
|
| 2012-11-17 19:53:19 |
Forbidden Desires |
Kimiko, would you consider giving grade scores for all of your 12 y.o. schoolboys on their performance while receiving a head job? I remember (all those years ago, now) some of my lady teachers that I'd have given loads resulting in multiple A+ test results!
If you were my teacher, I'd have a hard time getting out from behind the desk. All of your
young boys probably suffer from the levitating desk syndrome! Johno. |
| 2012-02-21 06:35:24 |
Mi mujercita hermosa, my beautiful little wife |
WOW, a real saga, and a terrific story. I may study Spanish now, if all Mexican girls are as hot as el Toro's wife & daughter. Have you considered publishing a collection of your tales? You'd have a ready buyer with me. Good on yer, WP. |
| 2012-02-21 04:22:16 |
My Mom and My Dream Girl |
Will, that is a top start to what could end up as a horny epic. You've plenty of leeway for plot development in any direction. A few minutes spent proof-reading won't be time wasted, if you decide to post more tales.
Like another reader commented, I'd been expecting a hook: that Sara was the half-sister!, but no. Attempt some deeper dialogue, especially between both mums and their respective kids. Stay cool. |
| 2012-01-12 12:29:59 |
THE GIRL GUIDE |
Regarding the 4 entries for my comment, I'll use an Americanism: WTF? |
| 2012-01-12 12:26:02 |
THE GIRL GUIDE |
Your member name really should be naughty_lesley_tara, and judging from some phrases that are used in your story, you must be a pommy girl.
I reckon that you'd be one of the best authors on this site. |
| 2012-01-12 12:25:01 |
THE GIRL GUIDE |
Your member name really should be naughty_lesley_tara, and judging from some phrases that are used in your story, you must be a pommy girl.
I reckon that you'd be one of the best authors on this site. |
| 2012-01-12 12:23:45 |
THE GIRL GUIDE |
Your member name really should be naughty_lesley_tara, and judging from some phrases that are used in your story, you must be a pommy girl.
I reckon that you'd be one of the best authors on this site. |
| 2012-01-12 12:21:57 |
THE GIRL GUIDE |
Your member name really should be naughty_lesley_tara, and judging from some phrases that are used in your story, you must be a pommy girl.
I reckon that you'd be one of the best authors on this site. |
| 2012-01-10 15:14:04 |
My Sister Taught Me |
Wow! Just what do women really have to complain about? A bit of penis envy sure, but just go buy yourself a GoGirl to aim with. As for the rest, well you girls get all the other fun bits to play with after your 9th or 10th birthday.
Good story, good writing, potentially a great author, given your insight. |
| 2012-01-10 13:41:40 |
I Was a Young Exhibitionist |
What a naughty little girl you are! Come on, I mean - to, uncle John. You can polish my spectacles before your own new spectacle. |
| 2011-11-13 14:13:14 |
Mom's surprise at basic training |
Bloody good story for a first-time effort, quite well written. I reckon on 8.5/10. |
| 2011-11-09 07:20:46 |
Caught |
G'day there APerv2. I enjoyed your comedy story, the scenario almost believable. As others have posted, you need to improve your spelling and grammer. I see that you attempt to give your characters some depth, including use of the 'ga-head' phrasing. Was that supposed to be a family speech characteristic?
With improvment, you could write dialogue for situation comedies or dramas. |
| 2011-11-07 10:25:24 |
My girlfriend Kay #2 |
I too shall be eager to read Part 3 of your story. I agree with Anonyinrc, a proof read is essential. I hope that you take up his generous offer. |
| 2011-11-07 09:48:19 |
My girl friend Kay |
Hey, not bad! Use your spell check for words like site; when you mean sight. None of us are perfect, but little things like incorrect spelling can distract the reader and maybe spoil a good story. |
| 2011-11-07 02:33:51 |
Mom's Insecurities |
Great story. I'll rate the stiffy factor as 8.5 out of a possible 10. I see that you have other stories posted, I'll suss them out later.
Re Mom's Insecurities II, you should be able to access the posting to edit the tag to your preferred title. |
| 2011-11-03 18:23:55 |
Feeling My Daughter: Part One |
Drella, will you allow me to adopt you? A great story, but a proof read will help before you submit Part 2. I'd love to help out with fleshing-out some ideas, as long as it is your flesh that is being explored! |
| 2011-11-03 18:07:06 |
Please Fuck Me Son! pt 2 |
Oh, you dirty bitch! A great read, keep it up (you sure got me up!) please, an improvment on Part 1. |
| 2011-11-03 17:48:12 |
Please Fuck Me Son! |
Not a bad effort. If you expand on the dialogue, so that we see a heated, lustful interaction (verbal intercourse during the sexual intercourse) between mum and her hot baby boy, it will really help in the stiffy department.
Poor spelling is no crime, but it detracts from your good story. A few minutes proof reading can fix that before submission.
It is good to see more women expressing their dirty minds. |
| 2011-11-01 11:58:24 |
Daddy luvin |
Dear Miss MindTrip,wonderfully engrossing story of you and your dad. Did your mum ever discover your secrets? Whenever you'd care to leave home, may I adopt you, pleeease? |