| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2013-02-07 01:22:44 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 1 |
I do appreciate any criticism possible, though I have addressed your points already below in the comments. I know the perspective changed, which I played with, but I'm still no aware of having changed person at all. If anyone could offer examples, I would honestly love to correct them.
This was a bit of an experiment for me in writing in third person. The whole purpose was because of how I wanted to describe the dance scene. Third person is not my thing, and I'm much less practiced at it, so I fully acknowledge the awkward lack of flow. I dig way too much into the character's mind, so with this I ended up trying to dig into two characters at once with undesired results.
Notg everything goes as planned.
Thanks for reading. |
| 2013-02-07 01:15:23 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 1 |
Yes, what's below is exactly correct. The friend is only joking about her age when he calls her 9. In the very next line, he's corrected when Jon says she's 12. It's a bit subtle. |
| 2013-02-07 01:03:08 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 4 |
Just a typo. Obviously I meant Jasen; though I have absolutely no idea where I would have pulled the name Josh from. Sorry for the overlook. |
| 2012-08-21 12:34:49 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 6 |
Again, I am sorry about the Matt slip. I was working on something else simultaneously and the name Matt is used in the other story. I'm not sure where I used a wrong name in an earlier part; no one ever pointed anything out in regards to that.
I am working on another story, but it's taking much longer than I expected. Sorry! |
| 2012-08-07 15:29:49 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 2 |
Anonymous reader
2012-08-06 00:43:24
Thanks! I fucking love all of you guys <3 |
| 2012-04-26 22:06:04 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
In response to the comment from: 2012-04-21 06:15:52
Last Chance a bar in my hometown. That's where the idea for the name came from. |
| 2012-04-22 13:28:01 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 5 |
hmm, yes. I agree about the one dirty sentence. It is rather out of place. I'm doing some editing on this story to publish it again; that'll be one thing I mark down to be fixed. Thanks for your input! |
| 2012-03-23 14:54:51 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 6 |
DRATS! That's what I get for working on two things at the same time. Sorry about that accidental Matt; I thought I got them all.
Thanks for reading, everyone! |
| 2012-02-14 18:42:35 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 5 |
"Do you think you could, you know, give a rough estimate of a timeline? My time is valuable and I don't like to waste it."
I find this comment extremely rude. No, honestly, I can't give you a rough estimate. I have no idea. My time is valuable as well. If you want a half-finished piece completely lacking in passion that just gets the story done, I can get one up tomorrow. If you want more than that, you need to be patient. Yes, I get a month and a half is a long time; it's a long time to not have had any real free time.
I'm a consumer as well, so the desire for the next part is very understandable, as is the frustration. I get some of you may not want to read my stories again because of this, but I will not compromise my education or anything like that just to get the next part done.
For those of you who are being understanding, thank you. So many thank yous. The next part is for you for giving me reason to finish.
Best wishes,
SS
P.S. Apologies for the passive aggressiv |
| 2012-02-04 10:26:30 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 5 |
I know it doesn't mean much, but I am very sorry that it has taken so long. It's not as if I have the final part done and am just not putting it up. There hasn't been much time for me to work on it.
Please, everyone, I know you're anxious and I know you're annoyed by your disappointment that it isn't here yet, but do remember that I am a student. There are certain priorities I need to put first. I am working on the story; that much I promise.
Sorry sorry sorry, a million times, sorry. |
| 2012-01-29 10:47:56 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 5 |
"Fucking better than skyrim...... Better than skyrim"
Made me laugh so hard! Thank you for that. Compliment accepted =] |
| 2012-01-16 01:52:02 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 5 |
Writing it all in advance is what I do usually do. It's what I did with the first story. This one was mostly done when I posted the first part, but due to some reader suggestions, I ended up changing some things, which is taking up time.
I am very sorry for the delay. It is never my intention to make people wait. |
| 2012-01-13 11:49:03 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 5 |
Hey everyone,
Another part will be coming as soon as I can get it done. I promise, it's in the works. Also, so sorry for a huge lack of editing in a certain section of this part. For those of you who caught it, I hope it didn't cause too much confusion.
Thanks for reading. |
| 2011-12-24 15:35:05 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 1 |
I do assure you that I do basic editing. It's not possible to catch everything and for that I apologize. Your frustrations are understandable. I also assure you that I'm not aware of any instance of switching from first to third person. If you have any examples of such, do inform me so that I may correct it.
As for the switching of perspectives, yes I do know that it didn't quite work out the way that I wanted to. I'm working on making it less confusing, and I'm very sorry for that. The reason that this may seem so novice compared to my others is that it is. This is my first attempt at third person, and therefore novice. Thank you for your comment; I always take any suggestions given to heart. |
| 2011-12-24 15:30:39 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 4 |
I would like to apologize to everyone. As soon as finals ended, holiday stuff began. I haven't had a free moment. I promise promise promise I will do what I can to get it up before new years! |
| 2011-12-16 12:08:06 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 1 |
I don't mean to be rude and disagree, but the word "understatement" itself, only appears two times total in all four parts. Maybe it just stuck out to you, or something of that nature? |
| 2011-12-08 11:43:53 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 4 |
Be nice to your poor refresh button! Sorry, everyone. Final exams are next week here, so I will be spending the next ten days doing nothing but studying and finishing up papers.
There will be a part 5, I just can't say how soon. Thanks for reading!
-SS |
| 2011-11-23 21:18:21 |
Singing Jasen's Song: Part 2 |
Never you fear. I plan to save you the trip of hunting me down. There will be more!
-SS |
| 2011-11-03 15:56:28 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 3 |
Quite alright. I definitely understand how these things could be crazy confusing if you don't know the context of where it's taking place.
It's about four troubled boys (unrelated) who were adopted by the same woman after no one else will take them, and they grew up together with that woman as their mother. They've all grown up and leave home, but return after their mother is murdered. Violence and whatnot ensue as they try to find out who was behind it.
Sorry if my initial response seemed a bit passive-aggressive. Unintentional! |
| 2011-10-12 15:17:40 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 3 |
That's because it kind of is just another day in the life. It says in the intro that the back story comes from Four Brothers. If you've seen the movie, then you'll know that all but one of the particular instances you're confused on (the bar shot) come from the movie and are not of my own creation.
I apologize for your confusion! I simply chose to spend more time developing the relationship than the setting which is pre-established by the movie. |
| 2011-10-04 22:08:26 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
To the comment from 2011-10-04 19:13:18
Not trying to be rude, but 20 years ago it was 1991... I don't think that statement had quite the effect you were looking for... |
| 2011-09-29 01:53:23 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
GAH! It just kept posting my comment over and over again. So sorry for the repeat!! |
| 2011-09-29 01:49:27 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
To the comment from 2011-09-28 23:21:00...
I very much appreciate your response. I had never really thought of Holly in that sense, but I can definitely see how she could be taken as such. When I first wrote the story, the beginning of this part was actually the beginning of the whole thing, and Dean's character wasn't portrayed quite as harshly (controlling yes, violent, not so much) when referred to in the past, and his violence was much more unexpected when it finally did happen.
I did struggle to find a reason why Holly would have stayed with him after the story expanded, because the more I wrote about him, the more I couldn't see why [i]anyone[/i] would be with him. The lack of developed justification for her continued relationship does make her seem manipulative and overly naive (blame the writer for this... poor Holly had no say in the matter). |
| 2011-09-29 01:49:18 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
To the comment from 2011-09-28 23:21:00...
I very much appreciate your response. I had never really thought of Holly in that sense, but I can definitely see how she could be taken as such. When I first wrote the story, the beginning of this part was actually the beginning of the whole thing, and Dean's character wasn't portrayed quite as harshly (controlling yes, violent, not so much) when referred to in the past, and his violence was much more unexpected when it finally did happen.
I did struggle to find a reason why Holly would have stayed with him after the story expanded, because the more I wrote about him, the more I couldn't see why [i]anyone[/i] would be with him. The lack of developed justification for her continued relationship does make her seem manipulative and overly naive (blame the writer for this... poor Holly had no say in the matter). |
| 2011-09-29 01:31:28 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
(cont'd)
I hope that you can still enjoy the remainder of the story at least to some degree, and if not, maybe I will write something later that angers you a bit less.
Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for commenting! Your thoughts were very insightful and have given me a lot to think about for future writings.
-SS |
| 2011-09-29 01:30:24 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
To the comment from 2011-09-28 23:21:00...
I very much appreciate your response. I had never really thought of Holly in that sense, but I can definitely see how she could be taken as such. When I first wrote the story, the beginning of this part was actually the beginning of the whole thing, and Dean's character wasn't portrayed quite as harshly (controlling yes, violent, not so much) when referred to in the past, and his violence was much more unexpected when it finally did happen.
I did struggle to find a reason why Holly would have stayed with him after the story expanded, because the more I wrote about him, the more I couldn't see why [i]anyone[/i] would be with him. The lack of developed justification for her continued relationship does make her seem manipulative and overly naive (blame the writer for this... poor Holly had no say in the matter). |
| 2011-09-28 08:35:24 |
In Riley's Arms: Part 4 |
Sorry about all the spelling stuff in there. I went back and re-read it after posting and just started kicking myself for all the stuff I missed. I'll do better next time! :) |
| 2011-08-11 01:15:14 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 4 |
I may continue it some if there's enough interest, already have a few ideas. Thanks for your comment! |
| 2011-08-11 01:05:20 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 4 |
I may continue it some if there's enough interest, already have a few ideas. Thanks for your comment! |
| 2011-08-11 00:53:05 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 4 |
I may continue it some if there's enough interest, already have a few ideas. Thanks for your comment! |
| 2011-08-11 00:38:32 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 4 |
I may continue it some if there's enough interest, already have a few ideas. Thanks for your comment! |
| 2011-08-08 22:45:51 |
Sharing Jack's Bed: Part 1 |
Thank you for the comments everyone, more to come very soon. And for those of you who commented about this, the back story is inspired by Four Brothers. |