| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2011-11-19 08:35:28 |
CAW #9 - A Hanukkah Gift |
Fabulous writing and a sensitively worded story. I hope to see a lot more of your work.
One suggestion if I may. The title of a story is the headline to grab readers' attention and your title would have been incomprehensible to 99%. |
| 2011-11-19 08:34:56 |
CAW #9 - A Hanukkah Gift |
Fabulous writing and a sensitively worded story. I hope to see a lot more of your work.
One suggestion if I may. The title of a story is the headline to grab readers' attention and your title would have been incomprehensible to 99%. |
| 2011-10-29 16:19:28 |
Fleeting Encounters |
Marvelous writing, marvelous plot with twists, marvelous development of his obsession. You are class, man, class!!
One question. Why would anyone masturbate wearing a condom? |
| 2011-10-22 20:34:11 |
Grave Robber. |
Spellbindingly excellent. The plot, the characters and above all the writing belong in a league far above this site. |
| 2010-11-19 22:50:21 |
A Brother's Revenge Chap 2 |
You're right.
I published this chapter first on another site which has an 18 year old minimum. Forgot to make the changes when I put it on here.
Thanks for your interest. |
| 2010-07-15 04:34:11 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
There is a chapter 2 up on this site.
If you enjoyed this and would like to follow Kylie, Jeff and Sally, the easiest way to find it is to click on my (the author's) name at the top of the page.
Good reading
Mark Twayn |
| 2010-06-05 05:32:17 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Author's response to the comment below; "Not A Skier?"
I enjoy skiing but claim no great expertise, but the language is a country difference I suspect.
Where I come from, which isn't the UK, a ski field comprises many slopes and/or trails. What you get access to when you buy a ski pass.
Ski pants? Any red blooded male where I come from would set fire to his own hair before calling his ski trousers, ski pants.
Hope that helps and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. And thanks for taking the trouble to write a comment.
Cheers
MT
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| 2010-05-20 21:35:20 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
There is a chapter 2 now up on site. "A Very Difficult Daughter Chap 2 "It's Your Body Sally"
If you enjoyed this you might like to read that as well. Easiest way to find it is it click mt name (i.e. the author) at the top of the page,
Good reading
Mark Twayn |
| 2010-05-18 19:43:17 |
A Brother's Revenge |
From Mark, the author to creamydick who wrote the comments below
Thanks for your efforts, but maybe you're off-target sometimes.
I have read all ejls stories and admire her a lot. And she thinks I'm a pretty good writer also. Like you she thinks this particular story isn't great. And I agree. I wrote this in a few hours as a satire on what sometimes works on this site. And it has.
Try another site?
I have 3 stories read over 200,000 times here plus quite a few others which have been pretty well read. So, some readers, including some discerning ones seem to find my scratchings OK.
Practice?
I suggest you try "A Very Difficult Daughter" and see if you still think the same.
Advice for you.
You're more than entitled to dislike and criticize any story. But perhaps you should read a bit more before descending into pompous and ignorant attacks on the author. |
| 2010-05-05 18:49:33 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Hi
There's a sequel now posted to this story - A Very Difficult Daughter - Chap 2 "It's your body Sally" if you are interested
Easiest way to find it is to click my name (i.e.the author's) at the top of the page.
Cheers
MT |
| 2010-04-30 18:47:19 |
The too small airline seats |
"I cant help myself. Your beauty puts unreasonable demands on my mind"
Thanks man. What a great line to chat up a chick with. I'll try it. Can't see how any woman could resist a line like. And just about all you others
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| 2010-04-29 21:09:11 |
A Brother's Revenge |
Author's comment
I freely admit that it was inspired, to a certain extent, by My Sister The Bitch, which I think is one of the classics of its type. But, there's a lot of differences as well and hopefully some originality.
To little attention to the other girls. Sure but reading the same thing four times over can get a bit repetitive and boring. And the same for writing.
Not credible. Spot on. But 99.99% of the stories on this site aren't really credible, particularly the ones which claim to be true.
But thanks so much for taking the time to read and the effort to comment
Cheers
Mark |
| 2010-04-24 00:58:21 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
I'm about 95% of the way through. Then proof reading and fine tuning which may take a couple of weeks - I hate proof reading.
Thanks for your interest
MT |
| 2010-04-15 19:46:37 |
Roommates: Ch1 - Cock & Pussy Tease |
The story was pretty good. But it was really tough to read.
Try having paragraphs no more than five lines long and please, forget the bold type. |
| 2010-04-12 18:35:39 |
"sirens story" part 1: Turning me out! |
Try keeping paragraphs to to five lines max.
Computer screens are far harder to read than books and your writing, with its long paragraphs just comes across as a wall of words and very difficult to read. |
| 2010-04-08 16:07:04 |
Punk Slut Sis |
From a quote further down
" YOUR FORMATTING WAS GOOD ON THE FIRST TRY! "
First try? I think not. This is Emberto by another name and a new country writing this.
Hey, big E, resurrect Anal Threesome. It was a classic.
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| 2010-03-11 23:27:25 |
Nora - The Third and Final Chapter |
A story from a perfect dream, written by a dream of a lady |
| 2010-03-11 23:25:00 |
Nora - The Third and Final Chapter |
A story from a perfect dream, written by a dream of a lady |
| 2009-12-07 18:53:44 |
No Escape |
Thanks for your well intentioned advice, but I'm quite happy with the life I've got which includes successful and independent women from time to time.
The genre was fiction. It wasn't an autobiography. |
| 2009-11-30 17:56:13 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
From Mark Twayn the author to the comments just below
I've only ever told two people who I trust absolutely that I write these stories. I'm certainly not ashamed of it, in fact I'm quite proud, particularly when one takes off.
Both have asked why I do it, since some of them take a lot of work and I don't get paid.
The answer is easy. To have my ego massaged by such sincere and flattering comments such as yours, Donb. Many many thanks for making the effort to write and for writing so nicely.
To the next comment below about bringing in Sally.
This was always in the back of my mind and I did a rough draft of it. But two problems: it made the story far too long and I really wanted to devote this to Kylie and Jeff.
Maybe I'll use that draft as the basis for a sequel; but I'm not all that comfortable with the idea of Kylie and Jeff, and Sally for that matter, getting involved like that.
But re-reading the story, I really do like Jeff and Kylie and it would be nice to s |
| 2009-11-25 23:57:39 |
A Weekend With Little Sister, Part 1 |
Brilliant writing
I'm not that stoked on her being 11 but you got the thoughts them really well. |
| 2009-11-22 15:22:04 |
Technology can be a curse |
It's your best story for me.
Great build up, but sex was too short. |
| 2009-11-22 15:21:17 |
Technology can be a curse |
It's your best story for me.
Great build up, but sex was too short. |
| 2009-11-18 00:44:03 |
Keeping Fit |
Lift your game man!!!!!!
You are a good writer, the sex scenes are great. But the build up, the seductions.
Fucking hell.
In the Landlady story it happened because she saw you jacking off in the bath. This one because your 9 inch dick was too big for your speedos.
Are you seriously trying to say that your lifetime of successful womanising always started with you showing your dick? You've got a way with words. Share your secret. Tell us what you whispered in their ears which made all those virgins loose their cherries and all those happily married women forget their wedding vows.
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| 2009-11-16 11:59:23 |
Going to the Lake |
Great read, really liked it.
But tough to read. How about double spacing between paragraphs |
| 2009-11-12 21:32:10 |
|
Good one |
| 2009-11-11 22:16:33 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Hi Penguin
Many thanks for your constructive comments and I agree with most of them.
My main reason for writing the story was to see how a relationship, as opposed to a quick fuck, might develop between the two with their age difference. The main purpose of Sally was to add to Jeff's dilema about Kylie's age and to provide a way for them to live together. I'm pretty happy with most of it until exactly the same stage as you and agree with you about the wind up. Of course the 'lovely's are an embarrassment.
If I wrote it again, which I won't, I think I would leave Sally right out of it and find a different way to keep them together.
There's always a problem with length. Too long and readers get put off and I do like my yarns to have an audience. Perhaps a chapter 2 but what would be the story apart from incest, which I didn't think fitted here?
Who knows.
Thanks again.
I'll enjoy having a look at your story.
MT
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| 2009-11-06 04:15:15 |
A Mother, a Daughter and a Sailor |
The coastguard took him away in the morning |
| 2009-11-04 17:00:01 |
The Casting Couch |
Hi re the comment below
I understand what you mean about happy endings and usually I do write them. I like them and one of the things which has surprised me about the site is that a lot of readers like them too.
In this one with Anton being in the porn business, getting together long term with Kristina didn't seem to fit. But at least they bonked for 10 years.
Cheers
MT |
| 2009-11-02 12:52:03 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Hi
I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
I know a lot of people come to this site for the straight sex. Nothing wrong with that, it's healthy.
I guess I like to write stories with a build up - the thrill of the chase, seeing how the characters develop, how the seduction works out.
As they used to say in an old airline ad, getting there is half the fun.
Cheers
MT |
| 2009-10-26 01:59:37 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Nope. Not an upper class snob, and don't have cockney slang. Don't like fish and chips.
MT |
| 2009-10-23 23:43:37 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Yes, sorry about all the "lovelys" especially in the last third. I did proof read read it a few times but never picked it up. It was embarrassing when someone else did so 130,000 readers ago. I do have a bit of a vocab and use a thesaurus.
Canadian? No I'm not a lumberjack or a Mountie and don't like maple syrup.
Cheers
MT |
| 2009-10-23 18:24:58 |
My sister, the Bitch (was taken down i found it) |
Thanks for putting this one up again.
The first half was a classic, great sex, the thrill of incest and great writing.
The second half when too many characters came in became muddled and the writer seemed to be worrying more about how many variations he could bring in than anything else. It lost its steam.
|
| 2009-10-23 14:49:11 |
This time her daughter |
Re the comment "Basically great"
Can we put the issue about women having Adam's Apples to rest. They do - look it up in Wikipedia if you have to.
The other points about age etc. They're fair enough, but what I wrote is certainly not impossible and I guess as the author it's my choice.
Many thanks for taking the time to comment.
MT |
| 2009-10-22 19:47:38 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Re Comment "Work on the dialogue."
Ouch, that one did hurt. A lot of work did go into it, so I guess that's pretty much my best shot and I'm quite happy with it.
We're probably from different countries which might explain it or maybe we talk to different sorts of people.
Whatever, thanks for your views and they did make me think a bit.
Cheers
MT
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| 2009-10-21 00:05:45 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Re comment below: Sex no good
Sorry the sex didn't smoke your tires. I thought it was some of my best and over 100,000 readers seem to have liked it.
But as they say; it's different pokes for different folks and you're absolutely entitled to your opinion and thanks for expressing it.
Cheers
MT |
| 2009-10-17 14:03:07 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Re Comment below Living in same town
It was mentioned right at the start when Jeff and Brian first met in the bar
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| 2009-10-16 23:35:41 |
Let me lay down the law Ch. 0 + 1 + 2 |
It's a good story but so hard to read.
It's not a bad idea to keep paragraphs below 5 lines and double space between.
But hey, you've got talent |
| 2009-10-16 23:34:56 |
Let me lay down the law Ch. 0 + 1 + 2 |
It's a good story but so hard to read.
It's not a bad idea to keep paragraphs below 5 lines and double space between.
But hey, you've got talent |
| 2009-10-13 23:38:32 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Hi
Too long? Obviously for some readers, but other have complained it ended abruptly. So it seems I can't please everyone.
Age 16
This has attracted a lot of comments as well and I may have goofed here. But I did want Kylie to be henpecked by her parents. Too much older and that wouldn't have worked.
Still, many thanks to you and and all the other who have commented.
Cheers
MT
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| 2009-10-12 16:26:54 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Good comments
This is a shorter version. I did write a longer one where it took Sally more time to adjust and where there was a poignant scene when Kylie was worried that Jeff would dump her at the end of the holiday.
But it was just too long, there was really no new sex to add without repetition and so I edited it.
But many thanks for your perceptive and flattering comments.
Cheers
MT |
| 2009-10-12 14:25:02 |
A Mother, a Daughter and a Sailor |
Thanks for the comment below, it's got me thinking.
I see what you mean about my men conforming to a pattern - except in Sally's Serious Mistake.
Might give it a try.
Thanks for the flattering comments
Mark Twayn |
| 2009-10-11 02:32:22 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
Big thank you from the author
To the comment just below.
Thanks for your kind comments and to everyone else. I'm flattered that people make the effort and I do get a buzz to my ego from them. They make writing very worthwhile.
Sally?
At some stages when I was writing I did think about bringing her in, but I became more interested to see how the love and the sex developed between Kylie and Jeff I had no idea when I started. I did go this way in the trilogy To save her daddy's life. They're a long read.
Sequel?
At this stage I can't think of anything. Erotic stories need a first time element to them and without bringing in Sally or infidelity I can't see it.
Once again, I really appreciate all the kind comments.
Cheers, MT
|
| 2009-07-02 02:20:37 |
Shelter From the Cold |
Beautifully written
You deserve your rating and the 100,00 readers. Even on a site like this class wins.
Hope there's not too much of you in John's character. |