Comments from Rebelman
|2011-05-07 20:24:41||I see your point. Here is mine.
Derrio is a drug kingpin that abducted and held her in his compound with armed guards. Not much chance to go to the police.
Derrio kills people for fun. What do you think happened to her husband?
Derrio lives in Florida where it is nice and warm when this story takes place. Not likely to die of exposure in 3 days.
The story says at five weeks she wasn't completely healed. Did you read the story?
As for the reason Derrio is interested in her, well, that is called a plot. Sorry to keep throwing those in there but hey, I'm the one missing TV shows to write this. Hint: You can find the answer in The Paper Hanger.
For any other questions please refer to the genre that clearly states this is a work of fiction. I think that about covers it.
That said, if you are the resounding voice of the rest of the community, I will be keep the rest of the story to myself.
Did you notice how I got my point across without yelling?
|2011-05-10 13:16:45||Joe on the Road-Chapter II (Natasha)||Love the concept and the way you presented the story. Hope to see more of Joe.|
|2011-05-10 18:48:02||Thanks for the comment. It is a long story so you will get to spend plenty of time with the dominant girl. I promise she will show up sometime after the prom. (Katy is awesome though...)|
|2011-05-11 15:50:10||I think you are mistaken. The effets you mention are considered late systematic. These would not show up for about 12 hours. The early systematic effects are mentioned in the text and the venom would not kill her even in a large volume. This is because the scorpion featured is the Giant Hairy Desert Scorpion form Arizona which any expert would have know by the description given. The pinchers of this scorpion would not tear the skin of the labia either. If you were an expert, or had consulted one as I did, you would know this.|
|2011-05-19 17:42:52||I was wondering if anyone was catching on to how everything seemed to be going a bit too well. The first 7 chapters are just the setup... now the real story begins.|