| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
|
|
|
| 2011-01-02 04:17:13 |
Bus ride home |
pace your story... commas and paragraphs are your friends
this story had a hot setting... molested and fucked on the bus? i love it... but try to fill out the discrecptions and details thereby filling out the rest of the story too
an dif you are indeed a virgin, try to get laid to help you with in and outs... i'm looking forward to your next story |
| 2010-12-09 18:45:54 |
Harry Potter - Chapter 1 |
wow um... you might what to add some imagination and or emotion into your writing... you fail to paint proper pictures and just coast off what is already assumed by the reader... also you switched narrative perspective a few times |
| 2010-12-09 18:45:45 |
Harry Potter - Chapter 1 |
wow um... you might what to add some imagination and or emotion into your writing... you fail to paint proper pictures and just coast off what is already assumed by the reader... also you switched narrative perspective a few times |
| 2010-12-02 09:39:03 |
From a Boy With the Babysitters |
thanks for the comments
- no i never got a chance to fuck them again but i did get into Kayla's guts about a couple years later
- i got a host of more sexual diatribes... all of which are true... and i'll upload them soon |
| 2010-11-29 11:34:35 |
Spin the Bottle |
really good... the characters were so well developed... one of my favorite stories by far |
| 2010-11-29 11:34:30 |
Spin the Bottle |
really good... the characters were so well developed... one of my favorite stories by far |
| 2010-11-29 10:51:30 |
Jessica, My Next-Door Neighbor Part II |
definitely diggin your stories... this series most of all... it reminds me of my stories... try to get part 3 up asap |
| 2010-11-29 09:10:20 |
J looses his V card to sexy Latina |
dunno what the opposite of an X is but i didn't come, i didn't even get it up... not to say your story was bad, the premises was really good... keep working and you'll get an X from me in time |
| 2010-11-26 04:06:24 |
Babysitting Benny - Chapter 2 |
i also agree that including the father would drag the story down... unless he was working to get his son fucked... something like that could be alright... but the draw of the story is the 2 kids exploring their sexuality |
| 2010-11-26 04:04:07 |
Babysitting Benny - Chapter 2 |
i also agree that including the father would drag the story down... unless he was working to get his son fucked... something like that could be alright... but the draw of the story is the 2 kids exploring their sexuality |
| 2010-11-26 04:03:48 |
Babysitting Benny - Chapter 2 |
i also agree that including the father would drag the story down... unless he was working to get his son fucked... something like that could be alright... but the draw of the story is the 2 kids exploring their sexuality |