| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2012-11-25 19:45:11 |
Family Orgy |
Yeah that story is too fun! |
| 2012-11-25 18:57:40 |
Little Princess |
Fantastic stour. Your pacing is so tight. I'm gonna go see what else you wrote. |
| 2012-03-20 15:00:45 |
New Daughter, Chapter 1 |
It is unfortunate that the author should get credit for such obvious things as "good grammar" but, that is the state of this site and many others like it. It goes without saying, good grammar is just one of the many attributes of this author.
There are also some hilarious comments! |
| 2012-03-20 14:36:50 |
Watching Little Sister (Part 1 of 2) |
I really appreciate the criticism (though I thought it was funny when Trib Fan made it personal). To be honest I was experimenting with the pacing and yes, I was a bit lazy. I was also trying to push the envelope of plausibility. Apparently I pushed it too far.
|
| 2012-03-20 13:33:00 |
New Daughter, Chapter 3 |
I don't understand how your story can be so awesome and have such a crappy rating? It's well paced, the dialogue flows, it's easy to identify with the characters and it's sexy as sin. What more could you want from incest erotica? Jesus people. |
| 2012-01-12 12:04:29 |
A Dominican Vacation (part 2 of 4?) |
Thank you for the feedback. I did not include a disclaimer before this story, so I will add one now:
For those of you who commented on my other posts, first let me say thank you for the encouragement. Secondly, I do consider why I (and people in general) write on these subjects and are fascinated by the taboo. Whenever I try to compose those musings I sound like a stoned hippie. Given that I am neither a hippie nor a stoner, I will spare you the dissertation. Let me just say that I do not condone incest or pedophilia. I do not want to see kiddie porn. I do not want any child to be hurt ever. If I knew of people engaging in these activities in real life, I would, at the very least, inform the authorities.
I am a grown man and all of my intimate relationships are with adults (who sometimes like to pretend to be little girls). Keep in mind that this is a fantasy and all the characters and situations are made up.
I hope you enjoy my story. I encourage you to comment. Your criti |
| 2010-11-28 23:48:20 |
A Dominican Vacation (part 1 of 4?) |
To whomever posted that comment: thank you for being vigilant about plagiarism but you're wrong. I mean, you're kind of right and kind of wrong. I did post this story on this site, then there was some sort of malicious attack on the server or something and it was no longer posted so I re-wrote it a little and posted it again. I mean, if someone else posted this story on this site, then they somehow plagiarized me which would, of course, be fucked up, but kind of flattering too. I can tell you that this is my original work (for better or for worse) and if I were to steal someone else's writing, I'd pick someone who writes better than I do (see my favorites). |
| 2010-11-28 23:47:56 |
A Dominican Vacation (part 1 of 4?) |
To whomever posted that comment: thank you for being vigilant about plagiarism but you're wrong. I mean, you're kind of right and kind of wrong. I did post this story on this site, then there was some sort of malicious attack on the server or something and it was no longer posted so I re-wrote it a little and posted it again. I mean, if someone else posted this story on this site, then they somehow plagiarized me which would, of course, be fucked up, but kind of flattering too. I can tell you that this is my original work (for better or for worse) and if I were to steal someone else's writing, I'd pick someone who writes better than I do (see my favorites). |
| 2010-10-28 17:12:41 |
A BABYSITTER'S TALE |
great story, good pacing, good grammar, strong character development. I thought the length was good as well. I think you should challenge yourself with the next story, perhaps a slightly less linear plot. |
| 2010-10-27 09:42:16 |
Double Trouble? |
Great story. Can\'t wait to read more. Please read mine as well. Got a few posts pending. |
| 2010-10-27 09:36:14 |
Double Trouble? |
Great story. Can\'t wait to read more. Please read mine as well. Got a few posts pending. |
| 2010-10-01 22:13:27 |
Breaking Katie - Part 1 |
the voice is effective and consistent |
| 2010-10-01 16:42:39 |
Born Beautiful |
Look, I think you people are nuts! This story is very well written. The few spelling errors stand out in an otherwise well crafted piece. Given the venue (this web site) it was way too long if you're looking for some titillating tale to get your nut off. This story is more than erotica; it tried to wear many hats which is usually a recipe for disaster but, in this instance, I think the author succeeded. The story was ambitious and, ultimately, did not fall short. The ending was strong. The pacing decent to good. The character development was awesome considering the protagonist was contemptible. In the end, I found myself rooting for her. I will make this story my first favorite. |
| 2010-10-01 14:58:46 |
bonding with daddy |
it really sucks when a good story is apparently a plagiarism. I WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN IT A POSITIVE RATING HAD I KNOWN! |
| 2010-10-01 01:09:10 |
Caitlin Must Be Bred! 1 |
The character is definitely odious. To a certain extent I suppose I have to give the author credit for creating such an insidious individual. It's funny how other people's kinds sometime don't make sense, e.g., I love incest stories and young stories but the thought of knocking up my daughter (not that I actually have a daughter) is an abomination. I know lots of women have that fantasy though, so there must be something to it. |
| 2010-10-01 01:02:25 |
Camping With My Dad |
The first person perspective makes such a big difference. |
| 2010-10-01 00:17:59 |
I Like Ladies |
Oh man, what can I say? It was an affront to my sensibilities. Stick with the prose. |
| 2010-10-01 00:14:08 |
Rainy Day: My Little Sisters Get Bored |
Definitely one of your better stories. Best pacing, consistent humor/voice. |
| 2010-10-01 00:10:03 |
Sex Teacher for the Kids Nextdoor |
How can people complain about people commenting without contact IDs then not leave a contact ID themselves? Seems kinda hypocritical to me. Derrrr |
| 2010-10-01 00:06:28 |
HERE KITTY KITTY |
you do have a way with words |
| 2010-09-30 21:05:46 |
Billy Bob |
Always good to get a funny comment ... tree fucking ... oh wait, i did that too! but I was 31! Anyway, I can't agree more strongly with the paragraph comment. Please people, how hard it is? It makes such a difference. |
| 2010-09-30 21:01:35 |
Bill's Life Part 3 Having Daughters |
I tried to read it but there was a lot of confusing stuff right off the bat and those huge blocks of text are always like hitting a brick wall. You obviously have plenty of skills. At a certain point, though, you gotta slow down, indent a little, think about pacing. Thanks for the contribution though. A re-write would probably go a long way. |
| 2010-09-25 18:18:59 |
The Dark |
Now that's a damn good story. The long paragraph made my eyes blur a little, but over all you really had great pacing. It's wonderful the way you seem to resist sharing your fantasies but ultimately are compelled to share more and more. I love the internal struggle implicit in all of your work.
Daniel |
| 2010-09-25 18:12:41 |
First meeting with StoneyPoint |
I wonder why no one has commented on your story. I very much appreciate your comments on mine. I am in the process of revising it as well as writing others. I feel as though I know a decent amount about human as well as female anatomy. I mean, sometimes i know I know more than some women! I have heard of children masturbating from (at least) infancy and I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with that. I have also had girlfriends tell me that they experienced orgasms, usually through masturbation, at very young ages.
Even if, in a story, a character "punished" someone for something, that doesn't necessarily reflect upon my personal views which, I should point out, explicitly EXCLUDE sexual relations with children.
You have a good clear style, I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thanks, Daniel |
| 2010-09-24 20:34:48 |
Amy and her daddy. Part 1 |
I thought it was pretty good. Yes, it needs some work. Whoever said to "[not] ignore the critics" gave good advice. Keep trying. I just posted my first under the handle "annasdaddy." My title is lame but I hope you like the story. |
| 2010-09-24 20:27:36 |
Almadelia's night out |
Not my cup of tea but fairly well written. Funny the last "anonymous reader" criticized people for leaving contact info then refused to do so themselves. I think I will leave contact info on my next story. |
| 2010-09-24 20:21:58 |
AlmaDelia's life |
You could really really use some proofreading. How hard it is to at least make the effort? Couldn't even get into the content. |
| 2010-09-24 20:20:34 |
all about honey |
Barely merits a response. Does make me wonder about your sanity. Somehow intriguing in spite of its shortcomings. |
| 2010-09-24 20:17:51 |
|
If this is plagiarism then you're an asshole. Otherwise it's pretty good. Consequently I won't give you a positive or negative rating. |
| 2010-09-24 20:08:56 |
A Daughter's Evolution |
Wow, thanks for the comments! First of all, yes, this is fiction. If I knew of someone really doing any of these things, I would (at the very least) tell the authorities. As I read through it I realize that I kind of rushed the last part a bit. I know that pre-pubescent girls can orgasm based on women telling me so (I'm a guy so I can't say from first hand experience). I realize some of the details get fuzzy and I'll revise that.
Thanks for the input!!!! Even if it's critical or negative (not to confuse the two). |
| 2010-09-23 22:30:03 |
A Walk In The Woods |
I though it was decent. I thought it could use a lot of punctuation correction and it had some verisimilitude issues, e.g., she was seven through most of the story but nine in one passage. |
| 2010-09-23 22:00:20 |
A POP-Jammer's story (Re-post) |
Well, I agree with everything the other commenters wrote. You really have to weed through quite a few stories to find one worth reading. I love to write and am trying to post (though it's taking forever to validate) though I don't really consider myself a strong writer, I just enjoy it. You obviously have a talent and care about your craft. Thanks for the effort, it didn't fall on deaf ears. |
| 2010-09-23 08:56:19 |
Daddy's Little Minx: Maria |
not bad though I prefer more of a context
|
| 2010-09-21 13:01:43 |
Bath Time For Babies |
PEOPLE! There is a difference between writing a story and actually doing something. If this author actually did any of those things, I'd be the first to call the fucking cops. But this is about freedom of speech and freedom of thought! That I will tenaciously defend. |
| 2010-09-21 12:51:31 |
BACKWOODS FAIRYTALE |
awesome vernacular, good pacing, funny, sexy |
| 2010-09-21 00:31:09 |
|
Not bad, a bit linear, good cherry popping description though! |
| 2010-09-21 00:31:09 |
|
Not bad, a bit linear, good cherry popping description though! |