| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2010-09-18 15:26:29 |
My Life - I fuck two new girls on the local common |
Very nice...I enjoyed reading it! |
| 2010-09-18 15:02:30 |
Dad Takes Me Calling |
Nice story...I had an affair for two years with the older married sister (mother of 3) of a girl I dated off and on. The married sister taught me a TON about sex and in particular how to drive her (and most women) absolutely nuts with lips, tongue, and cock. Her hubby traveled on Tuesday & Thursday nights every week, she out her kids to bed by 8 at the latest, so I had all the pussy I could handle for my last two years of high school.
Unlike our traumatized friend below, I think it was one of the best things that ever happened to me! |
| 2010-09-17 20:58:17 |
Double Trouble? Part IV |
You nailed it...err...her, my friend, exactly the woman I was thinking of as I wrote the story. Truely a walking wet dream...at least for me. :) |
| 2010-09-15 22:54:52 |
Broken In By Uncle |
Really good story...I liked the narrative approach...excellent style and content! |
| 2010-09-15 11:37:56 |
My life with Steph (and her sister) |
Very good opening chapter...keep at it! |
| 2010-09-08 13:29:18 |
Double Trouble? - Part III |
Okay....you guys did a great job explaning the proper use of quotation marks, and yes, they do give folks problems. Also, you are correct that each line of dialog, spoken by a different speaker, is a seperate paragraph. It is also true that there are one word sentences but they are mostly found in dialog. there are exceptions such as exclamatories.
The person that was giving me a hard time about punctuation I thought was objecting to my use of the apostrophe. Since I really didn't feel like giviing a lecture of the possessive case and contractions I just apologized for "annoying him" (with proper use of the offending apostrophe) and moved on.
I am also a VERY poor proofreader...but being blind in one eye his sort of a handicap. ;)
Thanks for the comments....part IV is coming...but I'm not happy with it yet....not flowing like I want. |
| 2010-09-04 06:29:11 |
Double Trouble? - Part III |
Sorry the use of the Ellipses bothers you and yes I do tend to overuse them in what appears to be an unsucessful attempt to add informality and a more "conversational" style to my writing.
I'll try to do better in the future. Thanks for your suggestions. |
| 2010-09-03 12:31:58 |
My Sisters sleepwalking friend |
Great beginning...lots of possibilities for ensuing parts...Go For It! |
| 2010-09-03 07:28:25 |
Double Trouble? |
Thanks for pointing that out...and having looked at it again, I agree...it would have worked better a few paragraphs lower.
Glad the story made you wet....hopefully you didn't it go to waste! |
| 2010-09-02 13:37:05 |
The Knock on My Bedroom Door |
Excellent piece of work....brought back a similar memeory for me...instead of my neighbor it was my second cousin....god she was hot....sucked my cock daily all summer when we were both 16....although she only fucked me 5 or 6 times....I was in heaven.
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| 2010-09-02 13:18:00 |
Turbulence |
A jewel of a story....glad you publised it. Is there more? |
| 2010-09-01 13:22:14 |
|
Really HOT story....brought back many a memory from my teen years....from making out at the movies to climbing through windows late at night....
Verry well written...I'm still hard.....;)
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| 2010-09-01 08:11:58 |
A Night With My Younger Step Sister |
Very nice first effort...as others have said a little inconsistant in places...but with more attention to detail you'll do fine....you have a good feel for writing it seems.
Keep writing and learning....it's the only way to get really good at it. |
| 2010-09-01 06:19:55 |
Kelly the Mystery Girl |
Nice story....got me up and going this morning, thanks! |
| 2010-08-31 22:57:23 |
A Roed Trip with My Grand Daughter-Part IV |
Hell-of-a-story...love the whole series...keep up the great writing....Kristy is a great little character... |
| 2010-08-31 19:58:40 |
|
Very well written....I noticed only twoor three "questionable" spellings that I could not reconcile, which maybe the difference between US/UK English. We are, at times, seperated by a common language. ;)
I thought your pacing was very good....and the descriptions very well well done, also.
You could easily make this multi part.....but it's the author's choice....carry on! |
| 2010-08-31 07:51:08 |
Double Trouble? |
Sorry about the typos folks...gotta do a better job proofing....and many thanks for the comments and votes....Part 2 is on the way! |
| 2010-08-30 17:19:46 |
Candy The Babysitter |
PLEASE USE PARAGRAPH BREAKS...I simply can/will not read a piece of writing that is so poorly formatted. |
| 2010-08-29 08:56:22 |
Running Partner |
For a "quick hitter" this is a fine piece...and so was she ;) Nice work.
...and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...if you follow my meanin'... |
| 2010-08-26 20:05:39 |
She Likes To Watch (Part 2) |
Excellent...very well written and a real cock raiser...and more! :) |