Comments from nb1701
|2010-08-26 19:20:00||The babysitter has extra credentials||Your story started off pretty good, but then your imagination ran really wild. It was too much for one story, you could have spaced it out in several stories and it would have been received a lot better.
You could have made the sister character a little older, say maybe 13, a 10 year old would not speak that way.
Breaking it up into more paragraphs would have made it much easier to read.
It has the potential of being a good story, you need to break it up into parts and add more detail. Then you will have a good series for others to read. I was enjoying it until you added the 13 inch she-male teenager.
You totally lost me when the Great Dane entered and I stopped reading then. I would have continued reading if the story was broken up into parts, and you left the reader with anticipation for the next installment.
Please don't get me wrong....I liked it, you need to present it to the reader in a better way.
|2010-12-05 21:00:02||My Daughter Cindy Part # 4||Be careful when someone posts as being underage, it could lead to trouble.|
|2010-12-05 21:03:46||My Daughter Cindy Part # 4||Be careful when someone posts as being underage, it could lead to trouble.|
|2011-03-29 01:48:14||Last Will and Testament||I must say this has been one of the best stories I've ever read on this site. It was well written, which by the way doesn't happen a lot here; there was good grammar and a nice story. It was twisted and a little perverted, just enough to keep you reading.
Is she the daughter....or just the new and hot young girlfriend for the older guy. Who knows?
The author kept it interesting. It was good, and I can't wait to read it to the Mrs. so we can get excited and have some fun.
That's what all these stories are about.....getting excited and having some fun. My thanks to the author of this story and all of the other authors that post these stories for all adults to enjoy.
Also a comment to all of you out there that over analyze these stories and make claims of plagiarism; these are not published works, so who cares. I say "get a job", you obviously have a lot of time on your hands to make such a big deal about a public forum that shares stories. Enjoy the stories and shut-up!!!